'Marissa!'

Summer ran into the room like an exited filly. Her face beamed, cheeks a rosy pink. Finally, her friend had awoken. She had waited by her bedside or, by the phone when she went home. Though, it had been Ryan who had been there ALL the time, even though he had already been discharged a few days before.

He wasn't hurt badly. It was Marissa who had all the injuries. She had been right in front of the speed-boat when it hit them both. And, after man operations, her legs still hadn't healed. Summer didn't know if Marissa had noticed, but her pair of long, slender legs could not support her weight. The doctors still didn't know if she had any feeling in them, or if they were numb.

'Hey Sum', the young patient replied, smiling weakly. Although it had been a while since she saw her best friend, she really couldn't be bothered have a 'heart to heart'. Well, with Summer anyway. She could have one with Ryan every day.

'How have you been? How are you feeling? What have to doctors said?' the brunette said in a bubbly tone. She sat her perky little bum down on the spare chair, as one was occupied, as usual, by Ryan. He smiled in her direction, but said nothing. He and Summer hadn't always gotten on, especially when it came to Marissa and her happiness.

'I'm fine…just; my legs are a little funny. They won't let me get up, and they are strapped down'

'Well duh!' Summer exclaimed, 'It's not like you can walk anyway!'

The room went silent. A cold feeling fell over the three, like a window had burst open on a cold day. Everything suddenly made sense, like the missing piece of a puzzle. Marissa's features suddenly went deathly pale, tear ducts filling and spilling.

She had asked Ryan what was wrong; He had said that it was the medication. So did everyone else. She could handle her mother and father lying to her, they did it anyway. But, not Ryan. They kept no secrets. Marissa thought that they had put this all behind them, that a bond had formed. If there was any, it was broken. Smashed. Torn into little pieces and burnt.

'I…I…I can explain', Ryan stuttered, Waling forward and reaching for her hand.

He hadn't meant to lie. He didn't want to, but was ordered by her parents and doctors. They had said that her mental stability was just to low to handle that particular information. He reluctantly agreed. Ryan knew how hard Marissa would take it. But that wasn't to say that it wasn't tough. Every time she asked questioned, it was as if his heart stood still. Not in the way is usually did, when he saw her. No, this was like a heart attack.

'No need to', she snapped back, glaring, 'You know, the fact that I may be god damn paralysed had no affect on you? Ryan, how could you do this too me, keep such a huge thing from me?'

He didn't reply. He wanted to say, because I love you, I was protecting you, but didn't. It would change anything anyway, she was so worked up. Sighing, Ryan rubbed his forehead.

'Fuck you', she mumbled, 'fuck you'

I'm not a perfect person,

There's many things I wish I didn't do,

But I continue learning,

I never meant to do those things to you,

And so I have to say before I go,

Ryan drummed his fingers on the felt covered steering wheel, mind contemplating the situation he was in. He hated fighting with Marissa. It was always his fault. It was him who caused all her pain; he was the one to break her heart. And here they were, yet again, in the same situation. Except today, Ryan feared it had costed their relationship.

That I just want you to know,

I found a reason for me,

To change who I used to be,

A reason to start over new,

And the reason is you…

The wide road was churned up beneath the black tires like grass in a lawnmower as he pulled into the pier's car park. This was where everyone came when times got rough, to loose themselves in the salty smell and calm lapping water against the pillars sides. Ryan doubted anything could pull him away from his troubles. Honestly, he didn't think he had cried so much since…ever. He could only remember one other time when he had actually let himself show the inner emotions which he usually kept cooped up.

Walking slowly down onto the beach, he sat down underneath the jetty. Creaks came from the people walking above. There was just enough noise to block out the hushed sobs coming from the usually composed Ryan. This time, he could hold none of it in. Tears hurdled themselves down his cheeks as if they were sprinting.

One person, however, did notice. A young girl, very pretty, around the age of 13 walked unsurely to his side.

'Are you ok?', she asked genuinely, 'Can I help out'

'No, no', he replied, wiping his blue eye's, 'I'm ok'

'No your not'

'Yes I am'

'No, your crying', she matter-of-factly stated, plopping down on the sand, 'has it got to do with your boyfriend and/or girlfriend'

Ryan laughed at the total simplicity of the situation. It was amazing how a young girl thinks, that every problem relates to someone's partner. It helped though, despite to total randomness.

'Sort of…yes', Ryan said after a long pause. He had decided within it to share his problems, so maybe she could learn from them.

'What did you do?'

'What makes you…', but with the look she gave him, Ryan didn't protest, 'Well, I didn't tell her something that I should have.'

The young girl's mind assessed his problem, brow creasing in concentration. Her blond hair was stringy from swimming, curling at the ends. Not far off, a boy was leaning against the post. Ryan guessed this was her boyfriend, as he stared at them both and regularly checked his watch.

'Then say your sorry'

'It's not that easy', he tried to reason, 'She is very hurt and upset. Nothing I can say will fix that'

'Well', the blonde explained 'Make sure what you say you mean. Don't come out with random shit that couldn't make a clown feel better. By the looks, you really love her. Does understand that's the reason?'

What she was saying actually made sense. Looking her square in the eye, Ryan could see wisdom within. Not anyone could make up such a speech and mean it. She nodded silently, standing up and brushing the sand off her white bikini.

'Glad I could help'

Twirling around, the perky girl ran to the young boys arms. He embraced her, kissing her slightly pink forehead. Young love was so beautiful, pure. Smiling warmly, Ryan watched the couple for a few minuted before standing up to leave.

Raindrops fell from the grey sky. Ryan hadn't even noticed in his agony, but now the air had grown chilly. Pulling his jumper closer, he trudged up the sand dune. As he went, the rain sped up till it was pelting down.

'Rain', Ryan laughed harshly to himself, 'It never rains in Newport.'

It was true. The last time it did, Lindsay left the city. Of course, at the time, Ryan was distraught. Everyone kept on walking out on him when times finally got better. That was when he realised, Marissa was still there. She was the only one who stayed with him, who wanted to stay with him. She broke it off with her boyfriend to go with Ryan, and he turned her down. He regretted that more than anything now. If he could turn back time, none of it would have happened.

Ryan was going back to the hospital. He now knew exactly what he wanted to say to Marissa, no mistakes this time. He wasn't even sure if she would listen, but it couldn't hurt anyone trying.

Swerving into the Hospital's park, Ryan leaped out of his car and sprinted to the doors. The raindrops were still falling down like rocks on to those who dared to venture outside. Cars swerved as he tried to dodge them mid-flight, only narrowly missing the spinning wheels.

'What are you doing back, I told you to go away?', Marissa said, still angry, as Ryan walked into the room.

He was heaving heavily, water dripping off the tips of his blonde hair. The elevator was full, so he had to climb 5 flights of stairs. The Wife beater revealed his toned stomach. It always made Marissa aroused, but not this time. She tried her best to look straight out the window

'I'm back because I need to talk to you.' Ryan replied firmly, standing at the bottom of the bed.

'I'm sorry. I should have told you, but I felt so guilty that I couldn't. I was trying to protect you. I know I can overdo it sometimes, but that's because I love you. God, I love you so much. I am crazy about you Marissa, every time we are apart I think about you. You need to understand that whatever happens, you're my word. But if I'm not wanted here, I'll leave. But I need to know what you want from me, whether it is to help you, or go away. But I'm always going to be here for you.'

Marissa opened her mouth to speak, still couldn't figure out what to say. She and Ryan stared at each other in silence for a lengthy period; the feeling in the room as if there was a great canyon between them instead of just a few feet. He had never performed such a speech to her before.

Ryan felt his shoulders slump further and further with each second of silence. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't make her say she wanted him by her during all this. 'When you have an answer to that question, I'll be around,' he said quietly, and turned to leave.

'Don't go'

'What?', he said warily, turning around.

'Don't leave', the tone of her voice making it more of a husky plea than a command.

That was all Ryan needed. He was across the room so fast it barely registered in either of their minds. He cupped her face in both hands, pulling it in and taking hr mouth into his. Marissa groaned lightly, loosing herself in his passionate kiss. He was careful not to hurt her fradgile body as they became closer. She slid one hand up his wet shirt, running her fingertips along every protuding muscle. A pleasurable shiver ran down Ryan's spine as the moment became more and more intense. They drank each others taste greedily, and eventually ended up beside each other on the bed.

'I'm so sorry', she whispered finally, burying her face into Ryan's chest. Tears once again started to fall. In the past few days, they had cried more then ever before.

Ryan ran his finger through her long honey blonde hair, brushing his lips across her forehead, 'You have nothing to be sorry for…It's not your fault'

Marissa paused, before looking up at him with glassy eyes, 'It's not yours either, Ryan'.

Although her words were comforting, a pang of doubt was still planted in his mind. Smiling weakly, he kissed her gently once again.Marissa didn't protest. It was obviously a hard subject for him to talk about, so she simply wrapped her arms around his strong neck and leaned in.

After all, you can only sort out on problem at a time, and this was just the beginning

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Ok…that was weird. I will go on with the paralization next chapter…