A/N: I would like to thank G4 Fan Man for the idea for this chapter. I hope you enjoy this story. Reviews are much appreciated.
Disclaimer: Same as before.
Five Years Later…
Narrator: She was a kind, caring, overly optimistic person. Heck that was her job and anyone who's worked with her can say she was a natural at it. She loved to help people any way she could. She has a name but for our purposes we will call her the THERAPIST.
March 20, 2006-five years after the Jedi Civil War…Therapist: all right settle down everyone.
Narrator: It had been a long time since she had held a private session like this and she hoped this one would turn out to be nothing like the one before it. However her hopes were in vain…muahahaha!
Therapist: Can I have everyone seat himself or herself in a circle on the floor?
They all sat down.
Therapist: All right, we're going to start out with a little exercise I call "about me". We're going to go around the circle, say our names and a little something about ourselves. Here, I'll go first, my name is (this information is classified and can not be released to the general public.), and it's my goal to help sort out any issues you may have with one another. Now it's your turn.
She motions to the person sitting to her left.
Bao Dur: Hello everyone my name is Bao Dur. A little something about my self would be that I can make practically anything out of every day house hold junk…kind'a like MacGyver.
GO-TO: Greetings my identification is GO-TO. I think I am better than all of you so if you do not have anything to give me space off!
Mandalore: Hey everyone I'm Mandalore and my hope is that one day I can lead the remaining Mandalorian troops in our second desperate attempt at destroying the Republic.
Visas: Hello everyone my name is Visas Marr and I enjoy Mongolian BBQ.
Lena (Exile): Hi everyone my name is Lena Smith (in on way related to Mr. and Mrs. Smith). I love playing Pazaak and chatting with random people on the Halo net.
Mical: Hello everybody my name is Mical. My hobbies are stalking Lena around the ship because I love her but I'm too much of a pansy to admit it…oops!
Atton: What's up everyone my name is Atton Rand and I have two things Mical doesn't. A last name and a better chance of Lena going out with me because I admit that I like her! (Turns and winks to Lena)
Mical and Atton then glare at each other with equal hatred.
Atris: Hello my name is Artis and I hate Lena because she's younger, prettier, and more popular than I am.
Sion: Good evening everyone my name is Sion. My only hope is that by killing the Exile master Kreia will reaccept me as her apprentice.
Kreia: Hello everyone my name is Kreia and there is absolutely no way I will reaccept Sion as my apprentice. My goal is to use the Exile to destroy the force completely while making everyone else's lives miserable in the process! Muahahaha! Cough Yeah…is it suspicious that I brought that up unprovoked?
Everyone stares at Kreia for a few moments.
Hk-47: Greeting: Hello meatbags I am unite HK-47, I love two things: master and killing meatbags such as yourselves.
Mira: Hey everybody I'm Mira and I like the color green.
Therapist: Well, now that we all know a little more about each other we can start discussing our problems.
Narrator: Though she remained optimistic Therapist knew that this group of unfortunate souls would be her greatest challenge yet.
Therapist: From what I understand from our first exercise, many of you seem to have developed problems that revolve around Lena.
Lena: Yeah they do! They should rename this story "We got issues with exile"!
Mical: I don't have a problem with you.
Atton: Shut up pretty boy!
Atris: Well maybe if you weren't so much better than me I wouldn't have a problem with you! And the counsel loved you, all pretty and prefect coming back from the war! Malacore V should have been your grave!
Atton: What, couldn't think of anything original so you took a line right from the script? Wow Atris I knew you were low but not that low.
Mical: Oh shut up Atton you always think you're so much better than everyone else.
Atton: And you think Lena likes you more!
Mical: Yes I do so stay out of it!
Lena: Can I say something?
Atton: (completely ignoring Lena) Listen prince charming I saw her first!
Mical: Well I approached her first!
Lena: Can you guys hear me at all!
Atton: She knew you were a loser from the moment she saw you!
Mical: Well why don't we just ask her!
Atton: Fine!
Mical: Fine!
Simultaneously both Atton and Mical turn and face Lena.
Mical: Lena which one of us do you like better, me or Atton!
Lena: I…I could never chose between you two…I like you both.
Atton and Mical both gasp.
Atton: You won't chose…
Mical: …between the two of us?
Kreia: (points a finger at Lena) Apathy is death!
Atton, Mical, and Kreia advance toward a frightened Lena. Mira stands up and dumps a bucket of water on the three.
Mira: (points at Atton and Mical) you two sit down! (Points at Kreia) you, stop quoting the scrip!
Kreia: I'm melting, I'm melting!
Mira: Get over it!
Sion: Here master, here's a towel.
Kreia: Thank you.
Sion: Can I become your apprentice now?
Kreia: No.
Therapist: Well would anyone else like to go next?
HK-47: Start forward complaint: I am annoyed by the fact that even though master killed countless meatbags during the Mandalorian Wars, she is also constantly criticizing me about my trigger happy killing techniques. What a hypocrite!
Lena: HK I regret every life I took during those wars. And the reason I don't let you kill everything you see is because there would be nothing left alive in the universe!
HK-47: Defensive smart-ass comment: then maybe you should not have gotten an assassin droid master.
Lena: I didn't buy you, you came with the ship! In fact why don't you go back to the ship!
HK-47: But master!
Lena: Now!
Lena stands up and points to the door. HK-47 sulks away (if droids can sulk).
Bao Dur: I think you were too hard on him.
Lena: You think so? I'll buy him a new assault blaster on our next trip to Telos, that'll cheer him up.
Silence fills the room.
Therapist: Would anyone else like to go?
Bao Dur: Call me crazy but I've been noticing this for a while now. Does anyone get the felling the Kreia is evil?
Atton: Yeah I kinda know what you mean.
Visas: Now that you mention it…
Everyone's eyes turn to Kreia who is nervously fidgeting.
Kreia: Come on guys…I'm not evil. I'm just using all of you in my plot to destroy the Jedi forever…oops.
Everyone raises an eyebrow.
Kreia: Did I say that…I meant my plot to bring joy and happiness and bloodshed to the galaxy.
The eyebrows go higher.
Kreia: Did I say bloodshed I meant…I meant…come on guys I'm not evil.
Mira: All those in favor of getting Kreia outa' here say "I".
Everyone: I.
Lena: Sorry Kreia looks like you've been voted off the ship.
Kreia: Forget it! No one needs you any way! Come on Sion we're going to Malacore. Atris you come too, I still have to convince you to fall to the dark side.
The three walk out the door.
Lena: Great, she's going to go threaten to kill herself so that I have to go to Malacore to face not only the horrors of my past but an entire academy of sith assassins, then I have to kill Sion, and finally Kreia herself, then I have to set off the Mass Shadow Generator and miraculously escape the destruction of the planet, but before all of that I will have to go to Telos to kill Atris because Kreia will have made her fall to the dark side! (Exhales and inhales several times) I guess I'll be getting HK his blaster sooner than I thought.
Everyone stares at Lena, mouths hanging open.
Lena: What?
Visas: Well until that time there's only one thing that we can do. Who wants some Mongolian BBQ? I know a good restaurant down the street.
Everyone murmurs in agreement and walks out of the exit. Therapist is left sitting on the floor all alone.
Several minutes pass.
Therapist: I'm getting too old for this.
The End!
Muahahaha! Or is it?
R&R please!