Luffy didn't take the news badly. In fact, he took the news with an enthusiastic 'SUGOI' and eyes that glinted with mischief. Then he spent the first half of breakfast checking whether Robin and Chopper were as elastic as he was, until Robin explained in gentle tones but with a dangerous gleam in her eyes that all Devil Fruits powers were different, before a disembodied hand caught his collar from behind and dragged him away from her.

When he was done marvelling at the coolness of her powers, Luffy spent the other half of breakfast checking the limits of his new-found abilities. Pulling at his face. Making his arm extend all the way across the galley and back. Extending his neck to the other end of the table just long enough to snatch a loaf of bread from Usopp's plate.

He was so enthusiastic about it that he never noticed the quiet conversation being held between the adults about how he hadn't even thought to ask when he could have eaten that fruit. Which was a good thing. The previous day, when the brat was finally sleeping, Sanji had told the rest of the crew that Luffy hadn't recognized his own hat. It was soon decided that attempting to explain to them who and how old they were was the least troublesome thing to do. So the hat, the three swords and their matching earrings had been safely hidden away in the depths of the storeroom.

As safe as anything could be in Luffy's presence. The third time a stray rubber hand almost knocked a pile of plates to the ground, Sanji declared that breakfast was over and that everyone of the male persuasion was invited to get the hell away from his kitchen. He'd hoped to be able to spend some time with the ladies, but Robin-chan was on watch duty and Nami-san sweetly announced that she intended to catch up on a heavy backlog of undrawn maps, and that any disturbance -pointed look at the two kids- would be heavily punished.

The remaining crewmates glanced at one another. This time Usopp was faster. "ARGH!" he groaned. "My I'll-die-if-I-stay-in-children's-presence-too-long illness is acting up again!"

"REALLY?"

It took a grand total of ten seconds for Usopp to rush off and a Chopper in full doctoring mode to follow him, which landed Sanji in the galley with lunch to get started on and two brats (both of which would probably find a way to sink Merry if they were left unattended for half an hour) to keep busy.

While he had the firm conviction that his was an art better learned through observation than explanation, it was still the only thing he could think of to distract them from whatever mayhem they would come up with to incur Nami-san's wrath. He mentally begged each and every one of the kitchen instruments that were probably about to be horribly defiled for forgiveness, then turned to the sitting kids with a forced smile.

"So, you two want to learn to make cookies?"

Luffy's face broke into a large grin, although Sanji was rather sure that his brains had skipped the word 'learn' and jumped straight to 'cookies'. But it was a start, at least.

Zoro scowled.

"Cooking," he spat with as much contempt as he could muster, "is for girls."

Nami-san was so beautiful when she was angry. It was only regrettable that she was angry at Sanji, and that him being on his knees before her didn't seem to do anything to calm her down. She tapped her foot impatiently.

"It was an accident?" he tried for the second time today, and looked up at her to see how well that went.

Not well at all.

"Sanji-kun," she said in a voice that was usually reserved to Luffy's stupidest antics and didn't bode well for its recipient, "Chopper says you tried to strangle him."

Which, when he thought about it, might have been a bit on the excessive side; but he couldn't be expected to think when the two things he held dearest to his heart were being insulted that deliberately by the stupid marimo-head. As far as he was concerned, the moron deserved what he'd got. More or less.

"I'm sorry?" he offered nevertheless, because it seemed the only thing to say that wouldn't make her even angrier.

"Right," she said, rolling her eyes. On one hand it hurt that she didn't believe him. On the other hand, it felt good that she knew him so well that she could tell when he was lying. "Well, it's interesting to know that you think Zoro is worth using your hands on," she dropped airily, and he froze in horror. That was not it. That was not it at all. It was about defending his art and the honor of ladies all over the world. It had nothing to do with the braindead bastard, and it hardly qualified as fighting anyway. He opened his mouth to say so--

"PIRATES!" Usopp yelled, bursting in. Sanji blessed him for the interruption. "Pirates are coming!" Nami glared at him.

"Usopp, that joke was old even before I met you," she said in a clipped, dangerous voice. He blinked at her.

"No, I mean, really. Robin said to tell you there's a ship coming in from starboard." Nami closed her eyes. Sanji watched her lips move as she silently counted to ten, then followed her out to check on the situation.

"They're waving something," Sanji said, straining his eyes to see what it was. Usopp adjusted his goggles.

"Bounty posters. Hey, that looks like--"

"Let me guess. Monkey D. Luffy, Roronoa Zoro and Nico Robin."

"Well, yes, actually. So, uh, what do we do?" Usopp asked Nami uncomfortably. Sanji crossed his fingers under the railing.

"I'd really rather we didn't engage in fights at the moment," she answered to his utter disappointment. "The Marines might be after us, we can't afford to let them catch up at the moment. So let's jus-"

"PIRATES!" Luffy screamed in delight, bouncing across deck. Where the hell did he come from? Last time Sanji remembered seeing him was in the galley--

--right before Chopper had burst back in the galley to get his medical supplies and seen that unfortunate little scene. This meant that Luffy had been left alone in the kitchen. The day was getting worse by the second, and it wasn't even ten in the morning.

"Look, look! They're pirates! They're coming closer! Can we stop? CAN WE? Please, please, I want to stop, I want to see the other pirates--" Luffy went on, visibly unaware of the long-suffering faces everyone around him was wearing.

"So, uh, what do we do?" Usopp repeated unsteadily, knowing the answer already.

"We stop," Nami answered, holding her face in her hand like she was about to cry. Sanji moved closer to offer her mental -and physical if she so wished- support, but she shrugged his hand away from his shoulder. "Captain's orders. Sanji-kun," she added, "I'm counting on you to take care of them."

Sanji decided the day was looking up.

The guy was mad, Zoro decided as he sulked through the tiny doctor's unwanted attentions. Who just attacked someone over something so stupid? He considered telling the others, but they probably knew it already. Probably were all as mad as him, even. It certainly seemed like it. He really needed to find a way to get off this ship.

"Your neck will be alright, but I think you have a small case of sea-sickness," the reindeer guy told him. "It happens with people who haven't been at sea much, but you should get used to it soon enough. In the meantime, it would help to stay outside." That was one piece of advice that Zoro had no trouble following, and he went out as soon as he was released.

He came on the deck to find that another ship was coming closer, and peered at it curiously. Maybe he could find a way to switch ships while no-one was looking. Anyone else had to be saner than those people, and maybe he could even get them to bring him back to land. At the moment most of the crew was on deck, talking calmly among themselves while Luffy bounced all around them, and visibly not paying attention to the ship that was getting dangerously closer.

"Oi!" someone from the other ship called, voice smug and laden with alcohol despite the early hour. "You gonna fight at all? Where are your bounty heads, Straw Hat Pirates?"

Bounties? Zoro didn't know any of those people had bounties. That made them a bit more interesting. But not any less insane.

"Currently unavailable," the stupid cook said almost distractedly, all his attention focused on lighting a cigarette. "But don't worry, I'm sure I can keep you entertained." He jumped with the last word, and next second was standing on the railing of the other ship, apparently not noticing how unstable his position was.

Totally mad, Zoro thought while standing still, eyes wide as he watched twenty pirates attack the blond with loud screams and edged weapons. This was going to be quick and bloody-- but the first sword hit thin air. The cook had leapt to a handstand on one of the attackers' faces and moved around, long legs impossibly split and kicking down his opponents wherever they came from.

Zoro noticed someone aiming a pistol at the cook from a distance, and almost screamed out a warning, but his mouth was barely open that the long-nose had raised and lowered a slingshot; when Zoro looked back the man had dropped the pistol and was running in a small circle, holding his hand and screaming.

And now the cook was standing up, hands in his pockets, dodging some weapons and breaking others with impossible kicks, quick and powerful and precise and Zoro had never imagined it was even possible to be that strong.

Lunch came and went without trouble. Luffy squealed about Sanji's strength with an enthusiasm that was almost, but not quite, embarrassing. Even Zoro, who hadn't spoken a word since the fight, was looking at him with something that looked suspiciously like awe. Sanji didn't mind much. He was in an excellent mood after fighting out his frustration and anger at the green-haired brat -the opposing pirates had probably not deserved that much, at least not the last kick that had opened a very large breach in the hull of their ship.

Oh well, if as Nami-san suspected the Marines were after them, those pirates would be rescued soon enough. And assuming anyone in there had had a bounty -Sanji hadn't noticed anyone he would have deemed worthy of one, but he tended not to pay too much attention when he fought against a group- that might even be enough to get the Marines off their back. It was a good thing no matter how you saw it, and even better, Usopp seemed to have recovered from his illness and spent the best part of the afternoon narrating the exploits of the Great Captain Usopp to a more (Luffy, excited and gullible) or less (Zoro, bored and sullen) attentive audience.

Most of these stories sounded a lot like the adventures of Straw Hat Luffy, but Sanji, content with not having to pay attention to the kids anymore, didn't say a word about it as he went back to the kitchen and worked in blissful solitude.

It was a few hours after dinner, and Zoro was too excited to sleep. There was light and the sound of female voices coming from the 'secret passage' that the long-nose (Usopp, he mentally corrected, telling himself that it was probably better if he remembered their names) had told him was not to be opened under any circumstance.

Said Usopp was fast asleep and snoring in a hammock while Zoro and Luffy both had a half of the couch and their own blanket. It was comfortable enough, but no matter how hard Zoro clenched his eyes he couldn't seem to fall asleep. It sucked. Usually he could could do it anytime anywhere, but the slightly ill feeling in his stomach wasn't gone yet, and he didn't know what to do.

Just laying there doing nothing was stupid, he decided. And he was bored.

He got up, climbed the stepladder, and headed towards the light.

Sanji was finishing up the dishes when the door of the galley opened on a miserable-looking Zoro. Usually, such an intrusion at this time of night would have been a direct threat to the crew's wine rack, but at the moment Zoro was not a threat to anything, except perhaps Sanji's sanity.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, putting the last plate away. The answer was nothing but a grunt, but by that time provider's instinct and memory had already kicked in. Milk in the fridge, honey in the pantry. Sanji didn't remember exactly what else the old man had put in the mixture when he woke up at night --screaming and sweating and hungry despite having eaten a few hours before-- but he was good enough to make up his own recipe on the spot. Roasted saffron, cardamom seeds, ground almonds and pistachios. Warm and nourishing.

At first Zoro did nothing to acknowledge the mug of warm milk that was put in front of him, but as soon as Sanji turned away he grabbed it and sipped at it greedily.

There was nothing left that Sanji needed to do for the evening, but it wasn't hard to find something he could do, rather than just stay there waiting for the kid to finish his drink and hopefully go back to sleep. The store-bought bread they'd picked up was nothing exceptional, and getting stale faster than it should have. Maybe the ladies would enjoy freshly baked bread in the morning, he decided, and grabbed flour and his thriving leaven from the pantry.

It wasn't so bad now that his bad mood was gone, he decided as he kneaded the dough. He'd always enjoyed staying late in the kitchen while mostly everyone was asleep, ever since his first year on the Baratie, when he'd started teaching himself to cook after he was done with his chores. The rare occasions when Zoro had stayed in the galley after stealing his booze -generally because it was too agitated and/or noisy outside- tended to put Sanji on edge, even when the other man was dead silent in his drinking. But now he could hear the occasional clink of the mug on the table, and from the corner of his eye saw the brat get up and head straight to the pan for a refill. It was a small victory, but still enjoyable - and potential taunting material for later, when Zoro remembered. Still, Sanji was comfortable, and starting to think that while the idiot was still an insufferable brat, he wasn't as bad as his adult counterpart.

"You're an idiot," the kid said behind him, conversationally.

So I'm starting to believe, Sanji thought, forcing himself not to stop his regular kneading. Alright, so Zoro was still Zoro regardless of his age. And Sanji wasn't going to kick him out of his kitchen right this second because he'd committed enough violent acts against children today. Even if the child in question was deliberately being an annoying asshole.

"What makes you say that?" he asked as calmly as possible. If he was going to get insulted, he would at least know why.

"You're strong," Zoro said, and that almost made Sanji stop, because Zoro admitting to that with so little reluctance was plain weird. "But you're not the captain."

A few seconds of silence followed the statement. Obviously, Sanji thought, this Zoro hadn't yet learned that strength wasn't everything. Not that the adult Zoro had fully assimilated the lesson, but at least he knew enough not to make that kind of disturbing statement.

It wasn't the kind of conversation Sanji wanted to have with Zoro, whatever his age happened to be. There were things he didn't care to talk about, like how a confident grin, the pointless spilling of blood and a splash of water had forced him to reconsider the way he'd lived his life for the past ten years. Or how a carelessly tossed "I don't care about the story" had sealed his decision to remain with this captain, this crew, for as long as he could, because nothing but absolute loyalty could be worth this absolute faith. Luffy's definition of nakama was something that had to be experienced to be understood. No explanation could begin to describe it. So Sanji didn't even try, and made an attempt at logic instead.

"I'm the cook," he pointed out, putting his dough in an oiled bowl. Zoro snorted.

"That's lame."

Sanji closed his eyes and counted to twenty rather faster than he should have as he washed his hands. He couldn't kill the brat. Neither Nami-san nor Luffy would be happy with him if he did. And Chopper would probably have a lecture ready about murdering innocent (yeah, right) children in cold blood. So instead of disgracing himself by grabbing a knife and stabbing the moron, Sanji lit a cigarette and went to sit in front of Zoro.

"You think so?" he asked with a slight smirk. Zoro nodded, looking as defiant as ever. "But I notice you finished your drink before you started insulting me," the cook finished smugly. Zoro huffed and let go of his two-handed hold on the empty mug, the hint of a blush on his cheeks. Sanji grinned.

"I like what I do," he said. "And I'm very good at it. Why would I want to be captain?" Zoro's expression turned to a pout, making Sanji wish he had a picture dial under his hand right that moment. Roronoa Zoro pouted. Oh, the blackmail material. As it was, he very carefully committed the expression to memory for later use.

"I would want to be captain," the boy mumbled, visibly embarrassed. Not for the first time, Sanji wondered how Luffy had managed to convince this thickhead to join him. He'd always chalked it up to Luffy's personal magic, but maybe he'd ask, when they were back to normal. Just for curiosity's sake.

"Why?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "That's your ambition? Being the big boss?"

"I'm going to be the strongest man in the world!" Zoro answered heatedly. Man, Sanji noticed. Not swordsman. Apparently that had come later.

"And what does that have to do with who's captain?" he asked, pulling lazily on his cigarette. The brat looked at him like he didn't understand the question. Which was probably the case.

"You really think brute strength is enough to get people to follow you?" he prodded further, raising his visible eyebrow.

"Sure," Zoro said, shrugging. "Once you've beaten them up, they know who's boss."

"And you go to sleep every night wondering which of your crewmates is going to work up the nerve to try to murder you in your sleep," Sanji completed. "It's possible, I guess. Just not very enjoyable."

The child seemed to ponder the thought for a moment, then yawned widely.

"Cover your mouth when you do that," Sanji chided, and was immediately horrified at how fatherly he'd just sounded. Talking to Roronoa fucking Zoro. This whole thing was getting to him. If he listened hard enough, he could almost hear his sanity dripping out of his brain.