A/N: I actually got to a chapter three! ..;; Terribly sorry, I was supposed to connect chapter two and three (it was my initial plan), but "Free Bird Blues" turned out far longer than I expected... ;; I make a bad Conrad, I know. XD;; And I've taken so many liberties... (Ruined Yuuri pretty badly, too. xx;) Oh, the title? I love the title of the second episode. I never get tired of spoofing it. So...uh...as dramatic and terribly angsty as "Caged Bird Sings" (Chapter One's supposed to be title...which I never gave it...crap) was, from here out, I'm letting my humor take control. Unless the angst grabs me and I churn out something that bad again from my rectum. ( -- Friend's words, not mine!) I've also went way overboard with the description (Which I totally suck at and used such generic adjectives...yargh.)...but it was kinda intended, to stress a few things. XD You'll see what I mean. It's still AU, still filled with boy luff, etc., etc.

Disclaimer: I don't own a single sliver of Kyou Kara Maou. I'd kill to get a piece, but then I'd be deprived of a good anime.

Chapter 3: Hot Boy VS Iced Frappuccino

Yuuri squinted against the light difference as he pushed open the glass door of the coffeehouse. Well, it also could've been the fact the person who designed the place chose to make the walls a soft pink color, reminding him of the inside of a grapefruit to clash so well with the checkered linoleum floor. When his eyes adjusted to the horrors of the interior, realizing that the horrible colors weren't quite the end, he heard the glass door click shut behind him, the bell hung at its corner chiming to welcome him. That wasn't all that welcomed him, of course. There was the chipper young woman behind the long counter who wasn't busy at the cashier at the moment who called out a perk greeting, despite being dressed in what he could only assume was the Lolita's latest fashion. Couple this that the young woman's hair had mostly been shaven off at the sides, the top left to dangle in long bright red braids and she had absolutely no eyebrows what so ever, Yuuri felt out of place to say the least. He also had to wonder who was insane enough to hire such a woman...after all, weren't they supposed to be discreet? If she were perhaps in the fashion district rather than this upperclass area, he'd find her being here more sense but...

Well, only in Tokyo.

Bowing out of common courtesy, Yuuri ventured further into the room, drinking in the scene. It seemed the walls were not only a grapefruit pink, but were splashed with handprints of every color and size. Black and white pictures hung on the walls, and occasionally some impressionist artist's work. He even spotted a framed kindergartner's picture, lovingly scrawled upon across the middle with the artist's name in what could rival a boar's penmanship. As for furniture, there were wooden stools lined against the counter, with a bit of space in front of the three cash registers and the five workers behind it, all varying in looks. Yuuri only assumed you were allowed to drink upon the countertop as long as you didn't interfere with the line, but currently no one seemed to have the time. The customers that did have the time seemed to prefer the white, little, round tables dotting an area he determined must've been set out for such a thing. They also looked awfully small, with their single clawed leg, and could only support three people at a time at the most. Hell, two looked like they might've been pushing it... Very few of these tables were taken up, and he found it no surprise. Even if they were set up at a spot that wasn't all that bad.

From one end of the coffee shop to the other stretched a glass window, allowing a view of the street outside. The tops of potted ferns and flowers could be seen just outside, brushing up against the glass. Sunlight poured in from this window, creating the light needed to see sufficiently without the aide of candles or electricity. All in all, that was instantly one of Yuuri's favorite spots in this whole place.

Zanier craftsmanship lined against the wall - couches that were oblong and twisting like snakes, fake little plotted trees painted purple, and even something that looked like a mini stuffed panda in one corner, decked out in a hula skirt. Yuuri began to seriously wonder over what kind of person would run a store like this...and even worse, make it appear as successful as it was. After all, there was a line, and there were people here, and...

I'm keeping her waiting.

That thought alone nearly made him panic. When the second racy thought, the fact he had absolutely no idea what in hell he was looking for, hit, he nearly fainted. What made him agree to this? Why wasn't someone here to help introduce him? What if she was TOO pretty? What if she was too old, or too young, or too mean, or too...too...spoiled... But mostly...

What did she look like?

After all, you can't be expected to meet someone when you don't even have a clue what you're looking for to meet in the first place! He nearly began to hyperventilate as he glanced around himself frantically, as if there was an answer in the shadow or horrible paintings somewhere for what to do now. And he would've made himself blue in the face with worry and stress had Conrad's voice not chosen to worm its way through into his head (thick as it was), and restore what little sanity there was to have in him.

I'm sure you'll be able to pick which one.

This brought a somewhat clear head to his shoulders, calming him enough to square his shoulders and breathe in deep, soothing breaths. He couldn't keep a gal waiting, after all, even if things didn't turn out quite the way Yuuri wanted it to. Well, not that he was really looking forward to getting engaged this young - far too young and there should be a law against this! - but he wouldn't mind having a girlfriend. Especially if she was pretty. Conrad said she'd be pretty and... Dark eyes scanned the room, trying to root out anything pretty he missed. There were girls here, but most were older, dressed as though they'd just taken a break from their executive jobs, and were here with their friends. They laughed prettily and softly, covered their smiles with their mouths even if it reached their eyes and in every way, appeared like modern, mature Japanese women. Their hair was thick and dark, in varying shades of brown and black, with eyes similarly dark. From experience, Yuuri knew these were not the traits he was looking for, as attractive as it was. He was looking for a distinct foreigner, for something...

And as if a ray of heaven shown down from the window, he saw what he was looking for. In the farthest corner from him sat just the thing he was looking for, sitting at one of those tables, and conveniently facing him so that he had an unobstructed view of her face. Golden hair tumbled over her eyes, down her neck, the tips of the curls just barely brushing her shoulders. Which, by the way, were pale with a healthy pink undertone and from here, looked smooth as ivory. Her face was perfectly heart shaped - hinting that she was still young - with wide eyes that were closed, pale lashes resting against slightly bright pink cheeks and a plush mouth set into a slight frown. But that didn't matter, because she looked perfectly angelic from where he stood, rooted to the spot. She looked wonderful in that salmon colored tanktop - complimented her clear un-Oriental looks - and the frills about the edge around her surprisingly not full chest, and from what he could see, there was a hint of curves and shapely legs under those slightly ripped jeans. That made up for the serious lack of chest, but its not like that mattered much really, when it came to a delicate situation like this. Yuuri knew attraction was supposed to come first, and he was definitely attracted.

Perhaps, he thought, this may not go so bad as he finally galvanized himself into motion, and moved to join his new intended at the table, meeting the purest, greenest eyes he'd ever seen in his life with a bashful smile.

Wolfram von Bielefelt was beyond pissed. When Gwendel had told him he was to be given away like an unwanted gift to the hands of the enemy, to be wed to someone he barely knew little less liked, he'd thrown the biggest fit ever known to history. In fact, he surprised himself at the amount of curse words, items broken, and people he nearly set on fire. Shouri had been lucky to get up and dash from the room, and Gwendel had been kept on his toes until Anissina burst in with her Lady Poison-something-something-kuns to knock him unconscious. He still insists Gwendel should be glad for all the magic barrier practice he gave him that day.

He had to be physically and magically restrained for a day or so afterwards, tied down to his bed to keep from getting up and attacking Gwendel yet again. And despite the numbing pain from the barriers set up to restrict him and keep him at bay, he still struggled and managed to snap and snarl at anyone far too close. Not Gwendel with all his reason and tact, not Shouri with his silent disapproval, not even his own mother could persuade him to go through with it. He probably would not have handled this so badly, had he been given a choice in the matter.

It certainly didn't help when he was told his husband-to-be was a combination of the things he loathed most. Human and demon. It was like asking him to marry a swine.

Though, if Gwendel had asked him if he wanted to take the hand, and then craftily replied that the duty would then fall to him and offer himself as the bride, then Wolfram would've swiftly jumped in. He would've willingly come here to meet the boy, then prove just how graceless and tactless his whole kind were, and forcefully show his brother how truly badly he sucked at arranging marriages.

Not that saying him coming here was entirely unwilling, anyway.

Leave it completely up to Sir Weller to be the stereotypical knight in shining armor, as much as Wolfram had to be grudgingly grateful for that. The man, having been called back from the war, quickly came to his younger brother's rescue after hearing of what was to happen...and the imprisonment of the blonde. He didn't care how many days, how many hours, how many words were screamed between his two older siblings. All he cared was that one day, Conrad came into the room and unshackled the chains binding his limbs, scattered the shining stones that held him in place, and grabbed his shoulders firmly. Normally, Wolfram would've slapped those hands away with a snarl of vehement anger, would've pushed away and distanced them. After all, Conrad's blood was sullied. Conrad was not even graced with wings, and thus shouldn't even consider him as a part of society, no matter the fact he constantly fought down his own familial ties and cares. But this wasn't a normal case, and the firm grip was unrelenting. Wolfram could not ignore the commanding figure before him, and reluctantly, lifted his eyes to meet those of his brother's.

Sir Weller had told him he managed to bargain a way. Shouri, after seeing the extreme tantrum Wolfram was capable of, approached Gwendel as Weller and he argued with a proposition. Let it be up to the newly weds of they wanted to be engaged. They will arrange for a meeting, and if things went well, then consider themselves engaged. However, if they managed to find life with each other so utterly intolerable, then they were free to come to a mature agreement not to go through with the wedding. They were free to walk out on each other, never see each other unless absolutely necessary, and forget they were once intended. When Wolfram was about to refuse, Weller shook him, then told him firmly it was either this way, or get married, even if they had to tie him up.

With such options, it wasn't hard to tell what choice Wolfram came to.

Even though, as he sat there in that coffee shop the Earthians called it, he was really starting to regret he hadn't taken his chances.

The trip to Earth was hell. Ulrike had stripped him of his wings, and the pain had been rather unbearable. The shame of it had him nearly threatening to kill the child-like priestess, but firm chides from Weller that came out more as a taunt stilled his sword. Which was later taken from him, much to his chagrin. Once every sign that he was of noble Fallen Angel birth had been forcefully ripped from his being - rendering him useless, in his mind's eye - he was quickly wrapped up and shoved into a small puddle.

Then sucked down into a whirling, sickening, revolting whirlpool that was supposed to transport him from the underworld, to the Earth world. The feeling of constantly moving up and down, every part of his body being sucked as if a giant were trying to suck his bones from his body, only to be spit out in a fountain of some sort, sputtering. And then, without warning, he was suddenly, violently sick.

It didn't help that Weller was to be his escort, having helped Shouri come up with that whole foolhardy get-to-know-each-other plan, and the first thing the soldier did on Earth was serve as his little brother's personal barf-bag. Weller probably regretted surfacing headfirst from then on. Even if that shit-eating grin was still plastered to his face, and as much as Wolfram would've loved to wipe it off his face, he was just not feeling up to it. Nor was his stomach.

Hours later, Shouri had come with spare clothes, given Conrad a key to some type of horse-less carriage, and taught the man to maneuver it about. Weller was a fast learner, and quickly picked up on how to get about using it, and soon enough, they were on a mini tour of the place the Demon King called home. Wolfram refused to show it, but he was enthralled. There was a vast difference between this world, and the world that they lived in. Horses were no longer required, swords were replaced with more smaller and according to Shouri, deadlier, weapons, and magic was nearly null on this planet. There were other miracles to behold, but Shouri had stopped the car and had had a brief conversation with Weller, before he'd handed over the keys and walked out. A short moment later and some "basic social skills" review by Conrad, and the boy'd been dropped off here and directed to choose a spot and wait.

The first few minutes, he'd nearly thought he'd die of shock - after all, when he was told he was "waiting in one of the finest coffee houses this part of Japan," he hadn't expected to be set upon by near-hairless freaks and sandbear cubs in skirts. Sadly, this was the life he'd walked into...and Wolfram was determined to make this his last trip. No matter what kind of guy this Yuuri person was, no matter how suave they tried to make the slob or how cute the idiot was, Wolfram had already made up his mind. He would not sully his bloodline by marrying a fool such as the Demon King, and would not walk among these wingless scums a minute longer. A waitress had dared to approach the fuming prince at some point to ask his order, and jumped when he snapped he'd have some tea.

Hopefully, they at least had that comfort. Or he swears that upon the souls of his ancestor, he was going to have someone's head.

Luckily enough, they did, and he was able to nurse that cup until this supposed King reared his head only to get spurned away by the blonde. After all, Wolfram had repeated it over and over in his head that he would NOT marry the Demon King, treaty or no. No amount of training could change his blood, no amount of words will make him see him as anything other than lying, cheating scum, and no matter how cute he was he could resist.

... what happened to 'no matter how cute?'

When Wolfram lifted his eyes to meet those of the stranger who'd approached him, he was immediately struck by a single thought: That boy had the sweetest smile. Compared to what he's seen and judging from all the looks of the people he'd seen milling about outside of that carriage, this boy was no different. Hair a dark, near jet black that just made it past his chin and expressive coal eyes set on a face that was no longer a boy, but not quite man. He was tanned, speaking of hours out in the sun - unusual for royalty and made Wolfram's opinion that he was a pig not change in the least (okay, maybe a piglet. He was far too cute to be a pig) - and from what the sleeves of the jacket and snatches from the clingy material of his blue shirt allowed him to see, he was fairly muscled. Perhaps sword training? Not all bad...and he's still cute. The boy rubbed the back of his head in a shy gesture, making his frown a slight bit deeper as the dark-haired teen seemed reluctant to speak. But when he did...

"Uhm. Uh. I...I was brought here by a guy named Conrad Weller...and he's a really swell guy and everything! But...but uhm... I'm...ya know...I'm supposed to meet my f-fiancée and..."

Wolfram quickly tore his eyes away after that stutter, feeling his cheeks pinken. How dare that lout have the gall to refer to him as his fiancé already! Wolfram's resolve began to boil over, replace the doubt from earlier and rub away the cute appeal of this man. "Sit already, wimp, and let's get this over with."

Yuuri stiffened a moment. Conrad had warned him of his sister's attitude, but she was already jumping to call him a wimp? A slight bit of indignation struck, and quietly, he retaliated with a "Don't call me a wimp!" before sliding into the seat across the pretty girl. He fought a bit with his seat - the thing felt wobbly like the thin legs would cave under his weight - before finally coming out the loser. He wrestled with the chair, and he could've sworn the thing was a professional wrestler, because the next thing he knew, he was lying sprawled on his back, on the floor. The blonde hadn't even budged, merely taken a sip once more from her cup before raising her brows and repeating just as calmly as before.

"Wimp."

And seemed utterly startled when he began to chuckle. She jumped in her seat a bit, before sitting up straight and glaring down at him as he struggled to stop laughing and crawl back onto his chair, which seemed to be behaving now. "W-what are you laughing about? You're supposed to be embarrassed and hate it, not laugh you dolt!"

It wasn't until he'd crawled back onto his chair and wiped away a few tears of mirth that he'd managed to calm down a bit. Then he smiled goofily at his intended, bordering into apologetic. "I thought it was funny. Here I am trying to impress you, but I ended up doing something stupid like that and well..."

As a reward, the blonde blushed. Blushed so hard he could see the red reach her ears and down her neck, before she quickly turned away from him with another "wimp" and went straight for her tea. Feeling embarrassed then, Yuuri decided that he'd call over a waitress and order himself something to wet his mouth - perhaps an iced mocha frappuccino would help him settle, and perhaps they could then get more properly introduced. After successfully completing that, he returned to trying to start a conversation with this girl he was supposed to wed. After all, married couples are supposed to know each other, right?

"I'm Shibuya Yuuri."

Wolfram flicked his eyes up once again to look at the casual greeting, the sweet smile, the way this boy seemed even more utterly social impaired than he. He could've sworn he'd been giving off the appropriate vibes to tell that he didn't like him, and couldn't place his finger on why this boy continued to make such a fool of himself. Weren't they supposed to give up the moment it was hopeless?

"...Wolfram."

"Wolfram..." He repeated the foreign name slowly, but something seemed off. It wasn't quite a name fitted for a pretty girl. It seemed far too masculine, tougher than a girl should be. So warrior-like. "I hope we get along. Conrad had told me that you might be nasty, but it was worth the effort."

And that caused a visible change in the blonde. She seemed to stiffen, her left eyebrow twitching for just a moment. Her fingers tightened around her teacup, the knuckles turning white and he swore he heard a low growl issue from that elegant neck. "So...he did, did he? What else did Sir Weller tell you? That I was a sweet kind kid on the inside, and that--"

"Well, actually, I was hoping to find out who you were on my own." Yuuri laughed softly after telling the angry boy that, hoping it'd pacify him and not make him fly into one of those passions he saw pre-Madonna's fly into all the time on television.

Lucky for Yuuri, it had that very effect he wanted. Wolfram blushed deeply, before going silent and turning back to the comfort of her tea. Yuuri smiled comfortably, seeing that maybe Conrad was right. Sure, she did seem to have a few rough edges, but there was a definite soft side. If he worked a bit more, he might actually be able to see himself with this girl and...

"Stop staring at me."

"I-I wasn't staring, honest! I'm not suspicious, I was--"

"And stop stammering and talking like a moron."

Yuuri frowned. Then again, that attitude was a turn-off.

"Fine."

"Wimp."

"Don't call me a wimp!"

"Your frappuccino, sir."

Yuuri smiled warmly at the waitress as she gently placed his drink on the table. He didn't notice the look that his guest was giving him until the waitress had flounced off in all her Lolita glory, and turned back to face the girl when he encountered something that looked like the epitome of jealousy itself. Or, at least, a secret portion of his mind seemed to whisper that. The larger part of his head pondered over why the girl looked so angry. "Are you..."

"Nothing! Don't say ANYTHING. I wasn't looking at you!" Wolfram huffed and downed the rest of his tea in a single gulp, slamming the China down with a rattle. There was another strike against this boy - he was an utter and total flirt! Just like all demons, and all humans, they didn't know how to keep their hands off or when to curb their tongues, their heads were full of mud and...

Yuuri sighed a bit, muttering softly, "Sorry."

"Wimp." Was the immediate retort.

"I said stop calling me that!"

"But you are. You cave so easily, you stutter and are nervous, you practice no decorum..."

Yuuri slumped a little in his seat and took up his frappuccino, sucking it up to silence any comeback he had as Wolfram went on to assume and list things that proved her point that he was a wimp. Even if the things she said were quite true.

"...I bet you waste your time pining without taking much action, you don't know how to go after what you want, you've got no drive, no sword skill, you can't even fight a chair, and from the looks of it, you--"

"Shut up, okay, I get the point!" Then his eyes widened in horror, and he ducked his head a bit. He'd never talked so sharply to a girl before, and suddenly felt guilty and like the worst scum to have walked the Earth. If his mother were around, she'd have surely pummeled him for speaking so harshly to a woman. Even worse, his own fiancée! Even if she was quickly becoming a pain in the ass and... And utterly uninterested in his outburst. In fact, she seemed to settle for glaring at him for a moment, before trailing her eyes off elsewhere. He supposed she didn't want to know him after that, and he couldn't quite blame her for feeling that way. To have lost his temper like that, no matter if she... "L-listen, I'm sorry. Hey, let's start again okay? I'm Shibuya Yuuri!"

Wolfram refused to acknowledge him by looking at the dark-haired boy, but raised his brows. "I know that."

"Yeah, okay, that's true! And you're Wolfram! That's a very pretty name," and that merited another blush to touch the blonde's cheeks, which in return caused Yuuri to smile wider, "but it's a very strange name for a girl."

It took a moment for that embarrassing remark to get a reply, at least, long enough for Yuuri to lift his cup and nearly take a drink. Wolfram's voice stopped him from taking it and possibly choking to death.

"I'm a boy."

Yuuri nearly fell off his chair, this time without needing it to challenge him in wrestling. He barely managed to catch himself on the edge of the table, his drink still in one hand. So that was it! This guy wasn't his fiancée after all. Maybe he was a test of some sort - or maybe part of the escort. After all, princesses usually had a big convey of sorts to travel around with them to make sure they were safe. Maybe he was a decoy, so as not to get hurt - there was no other way to explain why he was dressed like a girl. When Yuuri managed to haul himself up straight, he had the most relieved smile on his face, and Wolfram wasn't aware that made him blush deeper. There was something about that smile, so honest and true unlike Sir Weller's, that always made his face light on fire and make a small, slightly queasy feeling stir in his belly. It wasn't quite like being sick, but it wasn't a very comfortable feeling.

"So that's it! Haha, oh man, you almost had me going there..." Yuuri was muttering softly to himself, his now freed hand coming up to brush through his bangs. "So, then, Wolfram, where's my fiancée? Is she in the bathroom? I can't wait to meet her face to face!" He brought the cup to his mouth once again and took a long draught, leaning slightly to the side to try and catch a glimpse of someone coming their way, someone as pretty as the boy before him to come walking this way like a dream come true.

Instead, he swore he felt the room light on fire. With his cup still in his mouth, he turned to look at Wolfram, and shrank away immediately. The blonde boy looked like he was on the verge of going homicidal, his fingers digging and clawing at the table as his lip curled into a snarl. Pretty as he was, he looked far scarier when he was angry. He tried to call the boy's name from around the cup in his mouth, but it came out far too garbled for even Yuuri to understand.

"Yuuri. I AM your fiancé!"

And in the next moment, Wolfram's face was covered in mocha frappuccino. Yuuri doubled over the edge of the chair, coughing and sputtering as his mind tried to wrap around that fact. He was at the tender age of fifteen and already engaged - to a boy!

"Y-YOU'RE KIDDING MMMMEEEEEE!"

Post A/N: So...I know. Those of you who've gotten this far are cringing in pain. But anyway...just a few rants here. One: Yuuri was VERY hard to do. XD;; As you know, I've been trying to keep him at the angle where he thinks Wolfram is a girl and...and...well, it was hard, seeing as I'm sure he'd treat Wolf different if he WERE a girl but I'm so used to how he normally acts around him... Well, at least from now, I can have him act the same. ("I don't WANT to be your fiancé!" But don't let that worry you - next chapter will have a similar "yo' mama, foo'!" rant and the infamous bitch-slap-of-possesiveness that'll cement their relationship and...well, yeah. Am I spoiling too much?) Two: Wolfram was even HARDER. The way I made this, it was so sketchy, because it's clear I didn't know what feelings I wanted Wolf to have right off the bat. Then again, that was because I had certain points plotted out before hand, and the rest I just kinda winged it on the spot while tired. It was hard to think. Very hard. Though my friend said the way it was came off very awkward, like how a first date was and well...it gets my hopes up a little that I didn't do too terribly. I still think Wolfram was love-at-first-sight-but-I'm-too-racist-to-admit-it-so-I'll-make-him-slap-me-by-being-brattishly-discreet. shrug As I said, I kinda had to win parts of this, but from now, expect him to act his normal self, maybe with the gradual easing up that we see... Three: Yes, for those wondering, Wolfram's wings are gone. Permanently. I know it's rather sudden, but I don't exactly want to turn this into a really long thing. (Yeah, yeah, I'm rushin' I know...) At first I wanted to save that for something climatic, but the thought of permanently stranding Wolf on a world he has no idea about for a fiancée he has no clue what is like...and the conversation to be had when Yuuri finds out...way too tempting. And I'm bad at resisting. Suffer with me. Four: I was also told by my friend that "Free Bird Blues" was just...total Conrad fanservice. XD Was it really? Five: ...I forgot what I wanted here. Oh! I wrote this and the last chapter when I was very tired, and still noticed several typos in the last that I hope I won't repeat again. Such as... boy he road, and other such things. Augh...and misplaced commas, places commas should have been... xx; Six: The last, I promise! I'm aware that Wolf's gender keeps changing here. Keep in mind - Yuuri thinks Wolf's a chick. I tried to keep the paragraphs in his view seeing Wolf as a 'her'. If I accidentally made it during one of Wolf's...sorry. That's entirely my fault. (Of course. Who else could it be?) So...hope you enjoyed.