Tonks woke early to the smell of bacon wafting in from the kitchen. She managed to slip out from under the duvet without waking Remus and tiptoed toward the door. Unfortunately, someone had maliciously left a rug lying right in the middle of the floor. The nerve! She tripped violently and, arms flailing, fell in a heap on the floor. Soon, Remus, Molly, and Ginny were all looking down at her.
" 'Morning everyone," she yawned with a laugh.
"Trying out those rehabilitation exercises again?" Ginny asked, an eyebrow arched as she extended her hand to help Tonks up.
"Oh, not so much these days. You know, the healer says I still have to take it easy. If she only knew how clumsy I am, she'd have ordered bed rest for me!" She peeked under her sleeve to see a broad purple welt appearing. "I was having a bit of a quiet stretch there. I was definitely due for an injury of some kind. I swear, being off-duty is more dangerous than facing a whole army of vampires!"
"Let me help you into a nice, safe chair, Dora." Remus guided her into the kitchen and cast a healing charm on her swelling extremity. "We've got to be in top form for the meeting this evening, right? No finding excuses to loaf about all day," he chided, in a mock-stern tone. She turned repentant eyes toward him and promised to stay in one piece, at least until the meeting was over. Molly busied herself loading down plates with a breakfast that could easily have fed twice their number.
Tonks looked across the table and saw that Bill had decided to take breakfast with them downstairs, now that he was able to sit up unassisted. He and Fleur were already at the table, watching Remus gently tend to Tonks' injury. Once, Bill himself had asked Tonks out on a date and had been subjected to something she had thought was brilliant – a peculiar muggle sport called paintball. Hardly his idea of romantic, apparently, but their friendship had blossomed where the romance was clearly not meant to be. She knew now that they both had just been waiting for the right person to come along. Bill smiled back at her and squeezed Fleur just a little more tightly. Molly seemed to have accepted Fleur more genuinely over the past two days, from what Tonks could see. Although Tonks knew that things had been tense between Fleur and Molly, it was because they were so much alike. Fleur was much more than her name implied – she was not a fragile flower but a tenacious, loyal, and brave woman. She had a tendency to be a tad patronizing, mainly when she felt insecure, but Tonks knew that everyone would soon see what Bill saw in her. The Order would need every ally it could get in the coming days and Fleur was exactly what they needed. She had done a lot of growing up since the Tri-Wizard Tournament and her defensive skills were superb. If she had the courage to take on Molly under pressure, she would handle herself well against Death Eaters. Convincing Ginny that anyone was good enough for her eldest brother might prove a more difficult task, however.
They ate their breakfast quickly and everyone dispatched to take showers and finalize reports for the meeting that afternoon. It wasn't until nearly lunchtime that Remus was able to usher Bill, Fleur, Molly and Tonks into the kitchen to discuss the plan for the following night. They gathered around the table where so many Weasley crises had been discussed and Remus took in a deep breath before lifting his eyes to the group.
"I wish we could discuss something more cheerful today, but I'm afraid the serious business has to take precedence. I would rather, I think, hear your thoughts questions first so that I can get an idea of what you might want to know before tonight. Bill, since you are really the focus of our attention right now, do you want to share any observations you have about how you're feeling, any changes you might have noticed in yourself since the bite? Anything different in the past day?"
"Well, of course at first I just felt pain. I don't know how much of that would be from the injuries themselves or the curse in them, but after the healers got that under control for me, I did begin to notice a few things. Just to start with the physical part, it's like I can hear and see and smell things much more clearly than before. It's like the intensity of everything is greater. I can't exactly describe the feeling, but I suppose it's a little like stepping outside on a really clear winter day. Everything is more crisp. Now, today my nerves are a little more ragged than they have been since the bite, too. My skin feels like it's crawling, and I didn't notice that yesterday."
"But otherwise, you're not feeling more tired than usual, or noticing any pain in your joints?" Remus asked. Bill shook his head gingerly and Remus felt a twinge of relief. Interestingly, it seemed that Bill was experiencing more of the relatively positive effects of lycanthropy rather than those that Remus most loathed. Of course, there was no absolute way to know what would happen before the full moon appeared, but the prognosis was as hopeful as it could be. "Well, Bill, those are as positive signs as I could hope for at this point. Usually, a werewolf feels an extreme lethargy in the day or two before transformation. This is usually accompanied by rather nasty pain in the joints, as the body prepares to change. With the Wolfsbane, I feel a lot less of the "crawling" and edginess, so it may be that a small dose would relieve those symptoms for you." Molly was looking hopeful and Bill seemed fairly composed, despite the nervousness he must be feeling. Even Remus, after over 30 years of transformations, was always uneasy on the eve of the full moon. The Wolfsbane gave him a measure of reassurance, but there was always the possibility that something might go wrong.
"Bill and I have discussed zis and I want to stay with 'im when it 'appens. I 'ope that you are correct with all my 'art, but if 'e becomes a wolf, what can 'e, and I, expect? Fleur asked.
"A woman lycanthrope once told me that the pain of transformation was something akin to giving birth to a stillborn child, Fleur. I'd liken it to the Cruciatus curse. There's incredible pain, and there's no comfort or rest when it ends. In some ways, the Wolfsbane makes that part worse. You retain a human mind when you might be better without the emotional experience. However, I would rather the pain than risk hurting anyone. I think the point to remember is that there will be pain but that the pain is tolerable as long as you don't fight it. There were times as a young man when I tried not to let the wolf win, and it's only worse that way. Some turn to firewhisky – too many. It dulls the pain for the rest of the month, but does nothing for the transformation. Someone recently suggested to me something called "meditation," though I haven't had the opportunity to do any research on it. Perhaps in combination with the Wolfsbane. . ."
Remus' voice faded out as Tonks sat mutely across from him, studying the pale scars on his hands. These were aspects of the disease he hadn't revealed to her. She was somewhat unprepared for the visceral shock she felt. As an Auror, she should be used to pain and impervious to nausea, but she could feel the dull ache of remembered and half-healed wounds in her own body and the bile rose in her throat. She swallowed hard and distracted herself with a sip of the strong, black coffee that Fleur had brewed for them. The jolt of caffeine brought her out of her reverie and she regained the thread of the conversation.
". . .and I know the cellar's not the coziest of places in the house, but it's certainly the most secure. . ." Molly's voice quavered, as she obviously was anxious about her oldest son's affliction and probably more than a little unnerved at having a werewolf, or perhaps two, under her roof.
"You won't need to worry about safety, Molly. Tonks, here, is an expert at setting wards to restrain dark creatures, and she will, I'm sure, assist Fleur in learning the necessary spells. I'll see what I can do to make it a little bit warmer and more comfortable, though it's just for the night." Tonks' eyes met Fleur's and she smiled reassuringly. If all went well, this would be a brief episode in Bill and Fleur's life together - it had hit Tonks full force that this was just the beginning of her journey with Remus and his lycanthropy. She had processed all of this intellectually but the emotions were something she couldn't prepare for. She had shared some of Remus's memories, but she would have to come to terms with her own emotions as well.
Remus was answering a few last questions that Bill had about procuring Wolfsbane when Tonks noticed the time. They would be late for the meeting if they did not get on their way. However long the Order meeting might be, they agreed that Remus, Bill, Tonks and Fleur were to meet in the cellar at the Burrow by 6pm to prepare for the full moon. They went to gather their cloaks and reports and flooed to Grimmauld Place a few minutes later with Ginny in tow.
Remus painted the grim picture of the situation at Hogwarts for those who had not been there, giving a tally of the injuries and losses. Some wept openly, while others clenched their teeth and silently grieved at the loss of their leader. Each person gave an account of their recent activities and the reports were filed with Remus, who would pass them on to McGonagall in the morning. They were still discussing the disappearance of Harry, Ron, and Hermione and trying to formulate a plan to allow for safe communication with them, without revealing their whereabouts to Voldemort, when Remus and the others took their leave.
Upon arriving at the Burrow, they gathered a quick dinner as well as some blankets and pillows and descended to the cellar to began preparing for the full moon. Remus was wary of allowing Fleur to remain too close to Bill, so Tonks constructed a very solid but transparent barrier around him. He would still be able to communicate with them, but would be unable to touch anything outside the perimeter. Remus continued to have serious reservations about allowing Tonks or Fleur to see him transform and both promised not to look until he had become a wolf. To keep his promise to Molly, Remus also had a barrier placed around himself. The procedure was familiar to Tonks, but until now, she had always remained outside the door as the full moon rose. She knew what werewolves looked like from past experience, but she had never seen Remus transformed. The idea was thrilling but at the same time terrifying. She was going to meet the other side of the man she loved tonight, the side that caused Remus so much pain and horrified most wizards beyond words. She had to learn to love the beast, as it was an integral part of the man, and her newfound ability would probably be the key. She would save their animagus secret for another time, however, when it was just the two of them. This night was about Bill and Fleur.
The time approached and both men retreated to their corners to await the inevitable. Bill was the first to be enclosed in a barrier, Fleur reluctantly letting go of his hand only at the last moment. Tonks pulled Remus into a fervent kiss before sealing him behind the wards. She then carefully checked to be sure that everything was secure. As she promised, she took a seat on a rug and invited Fleur to come join her. They waited for what seemed an eternity as anguished cries give way to yelps of pain and, eventually, low growling. This was the moment of truth; Fleur squeezed Tonks' hand and turned to face her fiancé.
Tonks looked and saw, with relief, that Bill remained a man. He snarled softly from behind the invisible wall, however, and his eyes had a cold, yellow, feral glare. Tonks did her best not to listen to the low conversation between the two as she turned to Remus. His mournful eyes met hers, warm amber shot through with glints of gold. She approached the barrier and crouched down as close to him as she could. He curled up at her feet and she lay down next to him, her face a few inches from his nose. She knew that he was still ill at ease sharing this experience with her, but she softly told him, as if she were telling a bedtime story to a child, about how much he meant to her and how happy she was that they had found one another. His breathing slowed and he began to relax, and she could barely hear his soft whining as he returned her whispers of love in feeling, if not in words discernible to her human ears. Bill paced his small cell impatiently and Fleur maintained a supportive vigil, perched daintily on a chair nearby. While he didn't seem particularly dangerous, Tonks couldn't quite trust the look in his eyes. It was as if another man was looking out of them; in fact, he had the same haunted look as Sirius had when he first escaped from Azkaban. She shivered slightly and turned her attention back to Remus, whose eyes were wholly his own despite the transformation.
The hours passed quietly and, when Remus finally fixed her with an urgent look, she knew that it was time to retreat and give him his peace as the man struggled back to the surface and the wolf retreated to await the next full moon. Her heart swelled with compassion as she heard the strangled moaning from Remus's cell. She quickly dissolved the wards around him and wrapped him in a warm blanket. She looked up at Bill, who seemed to be himself again, as he peered expectantly out at her. She removed his barriers with another flick of her wand and instructed him and Fleur to go get some sleep. She asked them to tell Molly that they would be by tomorrow but that for now she was taking Remus home.
She drew Remus up beside her and apparated both of them to Remus's little cottage. She gently tucked him into bed and crawled in beside him, renewing the wards on the house and putting out the light with a flick of her wand. She sank gratefully into the feather bed, a stealthy replacement for the tatty comforter she knew Remus would appreciate in his current state. She would let him worry over its cost when he felt better – in fact, it had come from her old bed at her parents' house, and there was no way he could refuse -it was part of the deal if he wanted her. She pulled the soft duvet up to her chin and sighed. She was asleep as soon as she closed her eyes.