Chapter 18: Great Expectations
"Of course…" Michaela breathed, as thoughts and memories swirled and crashed into each other; making everything so confusing, yet oh so clear.
"What…what is it Quinn?" Dr. Bernard asked when he saw the spark in Michaela's eyes signaling a realization.
Michaela did not answer right away, her brain working in a blur to piece together this new information. "Jacob…he didn't….oh, David I can't believe you!" Michaela whispered with gritted teeth.
"Jacob? Quinn, you better tell me what's going on this minute, or…" Dr. Bernard began sternly.
Michaela turned to him, as if she was suddenly aware of his presence. "Jacob, he was David and William's other roommate in medical school…" Michaela fidgeted with her hands as she tried to recall all the details. "…We…we had been having problems with particular medications disappearing, morphine was one of them…"
"Ok, well who's this Jacob fellow, and how is this relevant…" Dr. Bernard pushed, a bit annoyed at still being left in the dark.
"After an intensive investigation, including some searches through the student's dorms, they found a few empty bottles of morphine in David, William and Jacob's room…now, William and David came from very wealthy, very respectable families…Jacob on the other hand, got into Harvard completely on scholarships and constant working…he was truly brilliant… but I will admit he was a little strange as well…" Michaela said while reminiscing on memories.
Her unfocused train of thought was quickly broken when Dr. Bernard cleared his throat. "Sorry, anyways…when the bottles were discovered, David and William quickly denied any affiliation with the morphine. This left Jacob, who did not confirm or deny stealing the morphine. No, instead he merely said 'If you had even looked at my background, you would not be asking me such a question.' That was it…that was all he would ever say, and the police and school board took it as a confession…they only looked at his family's history…" Michaela trailed off in deep thought.
"What's your point Quinn?" Dr. Bernard asked irritably.
Michaela collected all of her thoughts, sure of her conclusion. "This incident occurred during our third year of medical school…for a while there were no more reported burglaries; but now that I think about it, just before graduation, they noticed a similar scenario occurring. Where multiple containers of morphine seemed to disappear…the investigations were occurring just as we left to come here…" Michaela recalled.
"And…" Dr. Bernard said, slightly calmer as the realization of the matter slowly became clear to him as well.
"And, I believe…that David was the one all along…he was the one who stole all that morphine…he stole it today…and when Jacob said to 'look at my background' he was referring to how much work he done to get that far…he wouldn't just throw all of that away…"
Dr. Bernard nodded in agreement, but he still had one question. "But, why or when did David start taking morphine?"
Michaela stood puzzled for a moment for the spark came back to her eyes. "The accident…" She breathed.
"What accident?"
That day of torment and fear came back to Michaela, haunting her. "David and I…we…we were in a car accident…years ago…it had to have been our first year in medical school…it was during winter break…I was fine, but David…he'd been driving and…and he nearly lost his leg…" Michaela recalled the awful sight that had haunted her dreams for months in the aftermath of the accident. "There…there was a small old town near by…the police came brought David and I to the only doctor in town…I…I helped administer morphine to David while the doctor operated on his leg…he must have become addicted unbeknownst to anyone else…" Michaela trailed off as guilt and shame for playing such a large part in the whole disaster sank in.
Dr. Bernard nodded. "So now all we have to do is find a crazy man in a city with a population exceeding 550,000…what a mess…" Dr. Bernard sighed exasperatedly.
Michaela remained silent, already saddened with guilt. Dr. Bernard picked up on this and let out a long breath before continuing. "Quinn, what's done is done. There's no point in worrying about it now…besides, it was that doctor's fault for allowing you to administer such a drug…now, all we can do is notify the police of this information…I'll be right back…" Dr. Bernard said firmly before turning and walking swiftly down the hall.
It wasn't until the soft tapping of Dr. Bernard's shoes on the tile floor drifted away into silence that Michaela finally awoke from her reverie. Glancing around the hall, she watched as several groups of doctors and nurses adverted their eyes away from her and tried to cover up the topic of their previous conversation. But it was far too apparent for Michaela to know that they were, or had been, blathering about her.
Feeling a blush bring color to her cheeks, Michaela turned her back to her various colleagues and walked back into Sully's room to get away from the gossiping whispers and curious stares. Closing the door swiftly behind her, Michaela leaned against it momentarily, trying to control the enormous feeling of guilt that had been laid upon her shoulders.
All of this…him attacking me, hurting Sully…it's all my fault! I…I should have questioned the doctor's opinion for a course of action when he said to use morphine… "Why was I so stupid?" Michaela thought out loud, massaging her temples with the tips of her fingers.
Bringing her hands away from her face, Michaela looked at Sully's lifeless from on the hospital bed. Walking over to the bed, Michaela perched herself on the edge and grasped Sully's hand gently. For a while, she sat in silence, fear and turmoil mounting in her gut. "Oh Sully…I'll never forgive myself if something happens to you…if you don't…" But she couldn't bring herself to say the words that she feared the most.
Using her free hand, Michaela brushed the tears that threatened to emerge from her watering orbs. Sully' condition was becoming more and more critical with each passing moment, and Michaela knew that he should have woken up hours ago.
Michaela gently stoked his cheek, but stopped herself almost instantly. Looking up at the screen beside Sully's bed, Michaela puzzled at his unusually low temperature. Curiously, Michaela watched as Sully's chest rose and fell slowly with each breath. Mind racing as her breath quickened, Michaela removed the blanket on Sully's upper body and examined the area of his abrasion.
Searching, searching…one small mark was that she needed to affirm her predictions. And then she found it…
"DR. BERNARD!" Michaela yelled through the halls of the hospital, pushing past doctors and nurses who blocked her path. "DR. BERNARD!"
"QUINN! What are you doing making all sorts of ruckus like this?" Dr. Bernard's voice sounded from behind Michaela.
"Oh Dr. Bernard, I just…" Michaela began.
"I don't have time to hear it Quinn, it seems you do have a bit of explaining to do…" Dr. Bernard snapped.
"NO! We don't have time now! I know why he's not waking up….but we need to act quickly!" Michaela explained quickly, as she pulled on Dr. Bernard's arm to follow her.
"What…what do you mean…who…?" Dr. Bernard asked with agitation as he jerked his arm away from Michaela, yet continued to follow her lead down the hall.
"Sully…Mr. Sully…I know why he isn't waking up!" Michaela exclaimed, as a small drop of hope sparkled in her eyes.
Dr. Bernard pursed his lips and stopped dead in the hall. "Quinn, you can tell me of this hair-brained idea on the way to talk to the police…"
"No, Dr. Bernard…" Michaela turned and chased after him. "…we don't have time…"
"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to take rash and unlawful actions." Dr. Bernard interrupted.
Michaela's eyes peered with confusion. Rash and unlawful actions… she thought to herself, but quickly adverted her attention back to the emergency at hand. "Dr. Bernard…when Sully was stabbed…I believe David also gave him an injection intravenously of morphine…"
Dr. Bernard stopped dead and turned to look at Michaela. "What made you come to this conclusion?"
Michaela gulped. "I immediately noticed Mr. Sully's abnormal drop in temperature as well as his reduced rate of respiration. Then, to accompany his drop in temperature, I also noticed that his perspiration was quite high, compared to his low temperature…"
Dr. Bernard sighed. "Quinn, you know as well as I do that this could be caused by multiple complications…"
Michaela shook her head and interjected Dr. Bernard's criticism. "I also found small bruise near the cut…the bruise was caused by a roughly injected needle…"
As Michaela trailed off, Dr. Bernard stared far off into space, trying to grasp the situation at hand. Meanwhile, Michaela continued. "It is my belief, therefore, that when Mr. Sully was given a sedative to put him to sleep during the surgery, the sedative may have complicated the already hazardous effects of the morphine. Thus causing Mr. Sully's continuous unconsciousness and perhaps could even result in a coma." Michaela's voice broke as she traveled in and out of her "doctor-mode" and her true emotional state.
Dr. Bernard nodded slowly to himself, as he contemplated what the next course of action should be. "Your data does seem to add up, Quinn…I'll see to it that we treat Mr. Sully immediately for morphine complications and possible over dosage." Michaela nodded with relief and was about to turn back towards the direction of Sully's room, when Dr. Bernard's voice stopped her. "Not so fast Quinn…I told you, I have to take you to the conference room…"
"But…" Michaela said with a puzzled look across her face.
"You've brought this onto yourself Quinn…now, follow me…" Dr. Bernard said with severity.
Michaela found that she was left with no choice but to follow. As they walked swiftly through the hospital corridors, Michaela's thoughts dwelled on Sully and his well-being.
"Mike! Mike!" Michaela was instantly aroused from her state of delirium, when she hear the soft coo of her name being called and felt two gentle hands on her leg.
"Colleen, what are you doing…" Michaela began, but was cut off by a police man standing near by.
"Are Dr. Michaela Quinn?" The officer asked sharply.
"Yes…what's going on…" Michaela asked with hesitation.
The officer reached into the bag swung over his shoulder and pulled out a clear plastic bag, with two bottles of antibiotic in it. "Do these look familiar to you, ma'am?"
Michaela's heart froze as she realized she had been caught. Recovering quickly, Michaela answered the officer's question. "Why yes officer…those are bottles of an antibiotic, I see them everyday here in the hospital…"
The officer huffed at Michaela's smart reply. "Ma'am, this isn't any time to be playing jokes…"
"Oh, of course not, officer!" Michaela said with conviction.
Suddenly a stern voice sounded from behind Michaela. "Officer, may I speak to Miss Quinn alone? I believe she won't act so smart to me." Dr. Bernard said stiffly.
"Not at all, doctor." The officer said with a twinge of relief.
"Quinn…follow me…" Dr. Bernard said sternly.
Michaela was forced to pull away from Colleen and trail behind Dr. Bernard, as she tried to ignore Colleen's cries for her. Turning back briefly she watched as Dorothy, whom Michaela had failed to notice in the corner, took Colleen up in her arms and rocked her gently. Michaela's heart sunk to an all-time low as she looked upon the pair and saw the terrified look that had taken to Dorothy's face.
Arriving at a door to Dr. Bernard's office, Michaela stepped into the spacious room, remembering immediately the other time she had been there. That say, she had walked into the room with an intense feeling of fear, yet her fears had been washed away almost immediately. This time, unfortunately, Michaela gathered that she would not be blessed with the same luck.
Standing in front of Dr. Bernard's desk, Michaela watched as he made his way to the opposite side of the mahogany table. Silence pursued as Dr. Bernard sat in his chair and flipped angrily through the papers on his desk. Suddenly, he stopped and looked up at Michaela. "So are you going to say anything for yourself or are you just going to allow your punishment to be decided."
Michaela remained silent momentarily. "Dr. Bernard…I was only trying to help…"
However, she was interrupted when Dr. Bernard threw his fist down onto the wood of the desk. "Help….help? What the hell do you mean 'help'?"
"The Cheyenne children and Brian Cooper…I…" Michaela stuttered out, slowly losing her ground to stand up on.
"You wanted to help them…after I specifically told you not to take such rash actions!" Dr. Bernard yelled at Michaela.
"They would die if I didn't…" Michaela whimpered.
"If you didn't what? Steal medicine from a hospital…you know, Quinn, as much as this world needs more people with the same compassion and self-motivation as you do…you've really overstepped the boundaries this time…"
Michaela remained silent as Dr. Bernard dug through his drawers, in search of something. Finally finding it, he brought it out on the desk and stared at it momentarily before handing it to Michaela. "Quinn, that contract poses a deal…if you swear to never to perform such unlawful acts again, you can remain at this hospital with only the punishment of insubordination on your record…"
Michaela gazed over the paper in her trembling hands before she responded. "Is there any other option?"
Dr. Bernard stared at Michaela, completely shocked by such a question. "Excuse me…Quinn, what do you mean?"
Michaela took a deep breath, regaining the ground she had almost lost. "I'm not sure I can make such a promise…it would probably be untruthful."
"Quinn, have you gone mad? Do you not realize the situation…?"
"I understand it perfectly, Dr. Bernard. And I can not give you an oath that I may not be able to keep!"
Dr. Bernard stared blankly at Michaela for a few more moments, before he stood from his chair and paced along the back of the room. Michaela stood in the silence, trembling from nerves and fear, while trying to keep a calm face and form. Finally Dr. Bernard stopped pacing, yet remained facing away from Michaela as he spoke. "Quinn…I had great expectations for you…great expectations…now I don't know what to do with you…" Michaela stared guiltily at her hands as Dr. Bernard continued. "For the past couple months I've been receiving countless requests for an intern or a doctor to be transferred from our hospital to the small clinic in the town of Cripple Creek…you can go there…and continue your internship there…maybe there you'll learn what it truly means to be a doctor…including, not always being able to help others…"
Michaela felt fear and distress smother her body. "But Dr. Bernard…" She began.
"It's either that, or you will have your medical license taken away…which is the only option normally given to interns and doctors who commit such an offense…so what will it be?"
Michaela pondered at her options as realization of what giving up her license would mean. Taking a deep breath, Michaela gave Dr. Bernard the response that would alter the course of her life…
Ok I wrote this chapter while I was sick and maintaining a temperature of 101.2F...so if there are parts that are completely confusing or inappropriately written, please tell me so that I can change it when I feel better. I appologize, but I really wanted to post this chapter and get it out of the way...fyi: for those of you who don't know, we are approaching the end of this fan fic! Although I will be leaving the ending slightly open, I am considering a sequel. For more information, please visit my blog! Thanks for reading ( and a reminder that I always appreciate reviews, especially from new people who have yet to write one!)
Penny