Dear Diary,
Okay, Sara's definitely not fine. This case is really getting to her. She and I went back to the kid's house to talk to the parents about the notes, and she blew up at the mother. The mother had said something about how she and her son didn't really get along, and how he needed discipline in his life. Sara started accusing the mother of domestic abuse, telling her how she'd found a hand-shaped mark on the boy's arm, and how all she needed to do was compare the mother's hand against the mark to arrest her. I had to apologize to the family and pull Sara outside to see what the hell was wrong with her. The gist of the conversation:
"Sara, what's going on?"
"They hit that little boy, and I'm going to prove it!"
"We don't know that."
"You weren't in the autopsy room… You didn't see that boy. And do I need to remind you that the country club owner told us that Dylan used to stay late at the club because he didn't want to go home?"
"Do I need to remind you that the semen we found on the desk of the owner belonged to Dylan? She took advantage of him, too. Look, I know there's something wrong here, but you need to calm down."
After that, Sara didn't speak much for the rest of shift. I don't get it… She usually keeps her emotions in check, but lately she's been all over the place. There's something about violence that pisses her off, and I don't know what it is, but I'm going to find out.
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Date: 1/7/2006, 11:57 pmDear Diary,
Today is officially my day off, but I went in for a bit to talk to Grissom. It was kinda creepy to be in his office alone with the door closed and all his creepy crawlies almost glowing… I'll never get used to that…
Anyways, I told him I was worried about Sara. He said he was too… I could see why. I could still see the outline of where she'd hit him on his bicep peeking out from under his sleeve. I told him about the scene at the parent's house… ok, well I didn't tell him everything, but I told him that I knew the case was getting to her. I didn't want her to get in trouble. Besides, if he took her off the case, she'd know that I said something and then she'd be pissed at me, and I certainly don't want any bruises… An angry Sara is not pretty.
Before I left, though, I asked Grissom about Sara's past. That conversation came and went real fast. The gist:
"Grissom… please tell me I'm not the only one who's noticed that Sara gets a little… overzealous about abuse cases."
"Trust me, Nick, you're not, but there are things in Sara's past that she's trying to deal with right now, and this is part of it. She knows that she's on dangerous ground. Just let her work through it… I'll see you tomorrow, Nick."
Well, needless to say, after that, the conversation was over.
I don't like the way this is heading…
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Date: 1/8/2006, 3:28 am
Dear Diary,
Let it be known to whoever finds this journal that what I have done was done in the very best of intentions. If anything should happen to me, then Warrick gets my collection of baseball cards, Greg gets my Encyclopedia set, Catherine can have the science kit to give to her daughter, Sara gets the gold chain she gave me for Christmas last year, Grissom gets my books, and the rest goes home to my family in Dallas. Let this be my will… cause after what I just did, Sara's gonna kill me.
I've never done anything like this before… I've never had to. But I was worried, and nobody would tell me anything, least of all Sara, so I resorted to drastic measures… I did a background check.
I thought I was going to be sick when I read her file. I still feel sick… I never dreamt that all this could happen. I mean, I see this kind of thing all the time on the job, but when it happens to someone you know, it's a hard blow… You start to realize just how close things can hit.
I couldn't get into her record at work… I don't have clearance. But I logged into the CSI system and found her print file. There were a couple speeding tickets there… not unusual… but then I saw something else. It said that she had been pulled over for a DUI, but they didn't book her since they'd just lowered the limit. They did notify Grissom… I can only imagine how embarrassing that must've been.
But that didn't satisfy my curiosity (I know… It's a flaw), so I went online. I never fully realized just how much a simple Google search can pull up… I found notes on a court case out of Modesto, California in 1984, The People vs. Laura Sidle. The woman was accused of stabbing her husband to death in her bedroom while her children were home, and the evidence was more than enough to convict her… Fingerprints, castoff, and plenty of motive. She even admitted to the crime, pleading with the court to understand that all she was trying to do was stop the abuse. The two children were sent into foster care… a brother and sister, named Jeremy Michael and Sara Marie…
A lot of things came together for me after reading that. I suddenly understood why Sara hates violence, why she claims not to be good with kids, why she says she could never take a life, why she doesn't sleep, why she doesn't understand people, why she never talks about her family… I wish I could get her to talk about it, but that would be mean having to tell her what I did, and the last thing I want is her mad at me.
What do I do?
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