CHAPTER FIVE: The First Day
Lily woke up before James, of course. She went into the bathroom to perform her daily morning duties. Brush teeth, wash face, fix hair (always a tangled mess in the morning), and apply a little bit of makeup. She was just finishing up when James entered the bathroom without knocking, still in his scantily-clad sleepwear. Lily looked away quickly and began to clear off the counter of her many cosmetics.
"You know, it's impolite to not knock before entering a bathroom," Lily said, picking a fight with James as usual.
"You know, I really am too tired to care," he said mocking her know-it-all attitude.
"What if I had been getting out of the shower!" she asked outraged by his inconsiderate habits.
He eyed her up and down, paying close attention to her tight tank top, "I wouldn't really mind too much, to tell you the truth."
She was purely livid. "You—You PIG! How dare you? How do you think I am ever going to have any feelings for you besides pure disgust if you keep acting so, so bloody fat-headed! You really took the cake there Potter, not only did you act completely inconsiderate, but you also managed to make me feel really really uncomfortable, not to mention assaulted. You obviously have no idea how girl's minds work, or you would not be constantly making sexual innuendos at every possible chance!" Lily yelled, the sound of her voice echoing off the tile floors.
"Nice to get that off your chest, eh?" James laughed. Lily found it incredibly not funny. "Well, I'll tell you now, I know plenty well how most girl's minds work, I did, after all, date almost every girl of a reasonable age that attends this school. It's really just you that confounds me. Your mind must be weird or something,"
"Actually my mind is not 'weird,' thank you. I am not just as jelly-brained as any of those Hufflepuffs you've dated. Unlike them, I don't find you attractive, and do not leap down your throat at the drop of a hat. See, to them, when you say you want to see them naked, they think it means you like them, thus they hastily rush to take off all their clothes. I, on the other hand, simply find it repulsive, and don't stand in line to become your next quick shag,"
"Lily, you wound me," James said trying to make his best puppy-dog eyes. Any other girl would melt with that look, whereas Lily matched it with daggers. She was a puppy-stabber. As this thought occurred to her, she almost laughed but managed to hold it in. James continued, "you don't think I'm attractive?"
"Is that the only piece of information you got out of that speech?"
"Well, I think you said something about leaping out of clothing to stand in line, or something…"
"You are even more vain than I could imagine, that's pretty damn vain,"
"What time is it?" James asked suddenly, yet casually.
"Bugger! I still have to change, we're gonna' be late because of you!" Lily said frantically checking her watch. She ran towards the door and out of the bathroom.
"Hey! How's it my fault?" James called as the door slammed. "Uuuuurgh…" he moaned angrily. He was making absolutely no progress on the Operation Lily front. He began to brush his teeth sullenly.
Lily entered the Great Hall with only the end of breakfast left. Her friends immediately began to ask her questions. "What was it like sharing a room with him?" "He wasn't an ass was he?" "Why are you late?"
"Woah there, people people, one question at a time,"
"Okay, first question. Why are you so late?" Claire asked.
"I got in a fight with James, okay next question,"
"Hold on, hold on. What about then?" Phoebe asked while expertly raising her eyebrows.
"Okay, so he said he wouldn't mind if he walked in on me getting out of the shower after I told him he should knock before entering, and I called him a pig, and well, it went on from there for quite a while,"
"Well who else here was a little confused?" Claire asked the group. Lily's three friends all raised their hands.
"Lily, you have to explain what—"
"No. Sorry. Next question. Pressed for time here people, I haven't even eaten, hello?"
"Gosh, okay. Did anything happen last night?" Kyrie asked, getting all giggly.
"Yes, right. I wanna' hear that too," Phoebe said, getting excited.
"For Merlin's sake, no! Why would you guys think that? Are you all rooting for James? I'm deeply revolted…"
"We're just curious, gosh. Plus, maybe it's about time…" Kyrie trailed off.
"What? About time for what?" Lily inquired impatiently.
"That you got a boyfriend, okay? We said it," Claire answered.
"Not Potter, I'd rather die. Seriously. But I actually have sorta' been considering finding a suitable boyfriend,"
Oh really? Did you have anybody in particular in mind?" Phoebe said, again using her eyebrow techniques.
"No. Not really,"
"Oh, damn. It's time for class," Claire said checking her watch.
"I never got anything to eat!" Lily declared indignantly.
"Toast. Eat quickly," Claire said shoving a plain piece of toast under he nose.
"No jam?" Lily asked Claire.
"Oh come on Lily. Eat it!" Kyrie said.
"Fine I'll eat it on the way, we're late," Lily said, giving in to the bland breakfast.
"Not good to start the year with a detention," Phoebe said as they began the way to the Transfiguration classroom.
The rest of the day was entirely uneventful, Lily barely even saw James. She thought about what her friends had said about it being time to get a boyfriend. She had had others in the past, but nobody she ever really wanted to stay with, nobody she felt comfortable doing things with. She needed a person she could actually enjoy kissing, or maybe more. When she wasn't thinking about other things, she spent her moments to herself considering the male population of her school. She had most of her classes with at least one of her friends, so she mostly spent the day listening to the teacher's expectations and plans for the new school year, and talking to her friends quietly.
She got away with talking to the other girls simply because all of her teachers loved her. She was of course a good student (she was Head Girl, after all), but because she got good grades, all the teachers thought she was very well behaved. She loved it that way. She was certainly not as rebellious as her other friends, but she was certainly not the angel he professors saw her as. She liked to send notes, talk to her friends, procrastinate, and not participate as much as any other normal student. She had been drunk a few times, often went to the kitchens for food, and she had stayed out far past curfew on many occasions.
After all the classes were finally over, she decided to show her fiends her living quarters. She took them with her to the corridor in which there was a suit of armor that had the Hogwarts emblem painted on its chest. She whispered 'Dragon-Scales' into its helmet and the rusty old thing began to move. It reached out and grabbed a notch in the wall that turned into a door-handle, and opened the door made out of the wall for the four your ladies. It bowed as they walked through into the magnificent common room. Her friends all gasped and began trying out the chairs to see how comfortable they were. They turned out to be very comfortable indeed.
"This is great Lily! We are so hanging out here from now on," Claire said as she bounced up and down, testing out the couch.
"Sure, I warn you though, James will be here,"
"Whatever, we can just ignore him," Phoebe said as she lounged in a very comfortable armchair.
Lily decided to bring up the topic of the boyfriend hunt. She had been doing a lot of thinking about it, and thought she should ask her friends' advice. "Hey, you guys. I want to talk to you about my quest for a boyfriend, okay?"
"Okay," Kyrie said turning her full attention to Lily.
"Now don't interrupt, okay? I just want to say it without having to—"
"Alright alright, come on!" Claire urged Lily impatiently.
"You do realize you just interrupted me. Anyway. So, at first I was thinking I wanted to date somebody that I'm really attracted to, like, real sparks, or whatever. Then I thought about it, and couldn't think of a single guy at this school who does that for me. Besides, if I did find somebody, I would grow all attached then go to college and be depressed without them. So, I've decided that I want to have a boyfriend that I can have fun with, but feel no remorse in leaving. I think that will be a lot easier to find at this school than a person I actually love, or whatever," Lilt finally finished.
"You and Potter were meant to be," Claire joked.
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, rather annoyed.
"Well, he doesn't date people because he actually has feelings for them, but because he wants someone who's good looking, and good at snogging. That's exactly what you were suggesting," Claire explained.
"I wasn't! First of all, I want to have a person who will willingly date me under these conditions, someone who feels the same way. So they won't be getting used technically, because they're doing the exact same thing with me. I also have no rules about whether or not they are good-looking, although I admit it would be preferable,"
"Hey, I have another question. When you say: 'a boyfriend to have fun with,' what type of 'fun' are we talking about here?" Phoebe asked, once again expertly showing off her eyebrow skills.
"Well, all kinds…" Lily said, blushing.
"Oh yay! That's so exciting!" Kyrie burst out suddenly.
"Well, this a bit awkward of a topic for me, but here goes. I think I'm getting old to be a virgin. I am going to be 18 in 4 months and I've barely got past snogging. There you go. I want to have sex,"
"You are just like Potter! You're going to date someone just so you can get a good shag out of them! I can't believe it!" Phoebe laughed.
"I already explained this to you, I'm not using him. We are using each other. For sex. Okay? And that's only if I can find a person willing to do this, that I wouldn't mind shagging. Who is good looking, and not all attached to relationships?"
"Haha! Do you know who you just described?" Claire asked.
"Umm, no?"
"James Potter!" Kyrie cried out in a fit of giggles.
"Did somebody just scream my name?" James asked as he came into the common room. He was followed by the rest of the Marauders, all of them looking very handsome as usual. "I was just showing my mates the luxury we live in, I hope you don't mind,"
"Why would I? As you should have noticed by now, I brought my friends too, obviously I don't mind," Lily stated calmly.
"I was just trying to be considerate, Evans. You're so touchy I just thought I would ask you if you minded. Obviously no good deed goes unpunished around here," James snapped back.
"Touchy? I'm touchy? Who the hell are you to tell me—"
"Lily, we're going into your room now. Like I said, ignore him," Phoebe said ushering Lily up the staircase.
"Ignore me? Why should she have to? She's the one always starting up—"
"Prongs. Drop it," Remus said while smiling at his friend, "They're already in her room, They can't hear you, no need to shout anymore."
Sure enough the girls were already in Lily's room back to their previous discussion.
"Can you believe that? They are so rude. What are their names again?"
"You don't even know their names? James, seriously. They are in our house. We have been having classes with them for seven years. You really need to pay attention to more than just Lily, I think she might have taken over your brain," Sirius scoffed.
"Why would she do that if she doesn't like me? Answer me that Padfoot,"
"That's a toughie," Peter said.
"Back to the matter at hand. The one with the curly brown hair is Claire, the one with the blue eyes is Phoebe, the one with the dark hair and eyes is Kyrie. Got that?"Remus attemted o clarify
"Wait, what was the last one's name? It's pretty weird," James asked stupidly.
Remus sighed, "K'yeer-ee-ay, got it, please?"
"Yeah, I got it now. Alright, now what we came here to discuss. The first prank of the year,"
"Right, anybody have any good ideas?"
"None," Peter sighed.
"Ooh! I got one!" Sirius said excitedly
"Does it involve whip cream, Snivelus's knickers, and a herd of flying giraffe?"Remus said all-knowingly.
"How did you know?" Sirius asked trying to sound let-down.
"Because you suggest it every year, " Remus answered.
"And every year the answer is 'no,' sorry bud," James added.
"Okay, let's brainstorm," Peter squeaked out.
As the boys continued planning their next prank, the girls sat in Lily's room discussing hr next boyfriend.