Disclaimer: The character names belong to J.K. Rowling.
Pairing: Severus/Harry.
Rating: R
Warning: Alternate Universe! Wing!fic. Non-Canon Magic. Not-Innocent Harry. OOC-Snape.
Summary: When an angel falls to the lowest low.
Author:Spirit
Author's note: Getting closer to the end.
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ANGEL IN CHARCOAL
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Every wolf's and lion's howl, raises from hell a human soul.
Auguries of Innocence by William Blake
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He has only been taught how to be a tool to others. To use and be used. To be wielded as a weapon or to be played with in games. He is afraid now that this is all he ever will be and he will never learn how to be self-sufficient. He doesn't belong in any world. Not in heaven where he is too tainted. Not in hell where his purity is not accepted. Not on earth where he is sure that one day he will die alone on the corner of an unknown street. If death led to divinity he would have hope, but it does not.
In his heart he knows that he will never really see his parents again. Not in the way he remembers them. So he fights in the only way he knows and tries for his own sort of perfection. He makes the decisions about his own life whether he be wrong or right.
He will not be anyone else's tool or weapon.
"Stop following me. Leave me alone." Harry tries to turn away, as he has tried to walk away all the time now, from the demon that haunts him.
"Like it or not Potter, I gave my word that I would protect you." Nails bite into his flesh, holding him prisoner not only in the physical sense but also a prisoner to the darkness in Snape's eyes. "I apologize if this is not acceptible to you."
Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
"I can take care of myself!"
"No. You cannot." The words are snarled into his ear. "You were not meant to walk this world alone. We are better than these heathens. We are the demi-gods. The crowned beings. With darkness or light, we were not made to bend to their wills."
I will fear no evil...
"I would rather give myself to them than will my soul to you."
"But I don't ask for your soul Potter." Fingertips caress his cheeks; slide over his lips then traces the contours of Harry's face. "Accept my help and I will make sure that you are never hurt again."
For thou art with me...
"I don't need your help. I can take care of myself."
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"Smokes?"
Harry looked around the room that they stood in. There wasn't much to see except a bed with white sheets and bedside tables at each side. Tucked away in a corner was a door that led to a small bathroom. That was it. Nothing fancy. Neither was the man who stood before him, nervously holding out a stick of already lit cigarette that just seconds before, had been nestled within his mouth.
"Alright." Harry took the fag then took a deep drag, releasing the smoke in a cloud of grey.
He handed it back. The man put it out in the ash tray that sat upon one of the tables. Then they were facing each other again. As aways Harry couldn't help the string of disdain that curled in his stomach at the way a man could go from trembling nervousness to a pillar of lust in just seconds. But the clock was ticking.
"How do you want me?"
The man licked his lips then leered hungrily at the willing boy who stood before him. "Strip. Get on the bed. Let me do the exploring."
Harry tugged off his shirt, pants, shoes and then stood for the hungry gaze to roam over his body. His eyes darkened to a shade of green that was almost black as the man's gaze bumped over the cross pendant. Which, as it always did, led to grimy fingers reaching out to caress the cold metal. Fingertips trailed away from his chest to tug at a nipple.
"You're perfect aren't you?"
These are words that Harry always hear. As if in that moment before they make their choice, they are given a glimpse of the soul that they are about to defile and they always take a moment to appreciate his once apparent perfection.
"Bed. Now." But then the moment ends. "I want to suck you so hard that you come with a roar."
Harry spread his body sideways across the bed.
His legs were bent so that the sole of his feet dug into the lumpy mattress through the coarse white sheet. Before he could take a deep breath to calm himself, an eager mouth attacked his crotch. He was engulfed into the warm wet cavern of a mouth. Tears sprung into Harry's eyes. Tears he knew not to fight as his mouth opened into a silent scream. Shame. Anger. Resignation. This was what he had become.
"Let me help you."
Knelt behind Harry, unknown to the other man who was too lost in his eager exploration of Harry's unwilling yet rising erection, was an angel of darkness.
Harry's tears were licked soothingly off his cheeks. Long fingers pressed the back of his palms almost painfully into the bed, until Harry curled his fingers into a tight grasp. He sobbed aloud a sound that was like a wail of pain, but it was misunderstood. The frantic mouth sucked harder until Harry's hips arched off the bed and his body was almost bent in two as the sounds from his lips became a stream of howls. Still the hand that held on to his own, kept him anchored to the bed. His tears flowed like a river from his eyes and down his cheeks.
The tears burned like acid into his flesh like the fingers that dug into his hand. The dark lips that trailed over his forehead and down his neck, licking away the streams of transparent liquid burned too.
Caught between pleasure and pain, Harry's body seemed to want to separate from itself.
He was screaming his throat raw. His eyes were opened wide with his pupils were dilated. He was trembling violently. And he wasn't sure if he should stop himself from thrusting into the eager mouth that was curled around him or if he should let go of the darkness that was holding him prisoner. In the end he gave into both. Pounding frantically upwards into the hollowed cheeks and accepting the demonic kisses that was keeping his sane, he did what he had always done and made a compromise between heaven and hell.
My rod and my staff, they comfort me...
"Not yet." His lower half was abandoned as the man rose to his feet, pulling off his own clothes.
"Not yet," Harry heard echoed into his ear.
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Harry's green eyes flashed with anger as he turned away.
"I can protect myself! I've done it for years now when there was no one who cared. What was my purpose? Heaven is afraid of me and Hell will not accept me. One made me fall and the other made me escape. Why? Why am I the example? I didn't want to be different but I am! They made me different. They took my choice away."
He didn't get far before he was pulled backwards into the grasp of strong arms and words were spat into his ear. "You are nothing special. You are just one more fallen angel living with regret."
Harry fought to release himself from the cocoon of darkness, even as he felt himself giving over to the sensation of being held and protected. Being in these arms, he had come to realize ever since the night that Severus Snape had appeared before him, felt far too perfect. He fit into the tight grasp. He felt safe. As an angel, he was made for this demon. That frightened him more than the darkness that Snape was offering him for protection.
"I didn't want to fall. I didn't jump."
Dark eyes glared down at Harry. Thin lips curled into smirk. Words again were whispered into his ear. "Well I did, Potter."
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"In me. Now. Let me feel you pounding into me. Make me beg!"
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"What do you want from me?"
"That is exactly what I want." The arms tightened. "I want you. Give me everything you are. Give me your purity. Give me your quest for salvation. I want everything that you have. Bare your soul before me. Break. Melt. Give me these things and I will rebuild you stronger than you are now."
"I won't bend to your will."
"I don't want you to bend, I want you to heal. Allow us to purge ourselves. You through darkness and me through the light. We have what the other needs."
"Why?"
"Because you desire completion and I wish for purity. You are not the only one who has regrets."
"You jumped. I didn't."
"And yet, we've both walked the plains of hell. So let me help you to heal."
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"Yes. Just like that. So good!"
Harry laid passively while a stranger tried to gain a taste of heaven from riding a wave of pleasure; lifting and lowering his body repetitively onto his cock. Harry tuned him out of his consciousness. Not feeling. Not existing. Not like this.
Instead, he focussed on the forehead that rested upon his forehead. He gave himself over to the fiery hot arms that was crossed over his chest. Fingers slid soothingly into his hair, caressing his neck and the sharp line of his shoulder. He couldn't escape this. He wouldn't ever be free. He had been touched by darkness and there was no way out anymore unless he came out on the other side.
As soon as the man slid off him, Harry's skin begins to tingle. It was a while - just a short while - before his skin began to burn a blue flame all over. Feathers rippled across his body. They began to flake and fall as he curled onto his side with his knees drawn up to his chest. The feathers were still whote. Still white. Except for when they came in contact with the arms that had shifted to keep a hold on him when he moved. Those feathers became ebony and then crumbled into dust.
Harry watched the feathers gather on the bed. Dark ones mixed with white before the black ones turned to ashed and the white one faded into glimmers of light. Hopping around, trying to find his clothes, Harry saw his customer obliviously missing the act of sancification occuring before his eyes. Oblivious.
Harry raised his hand to hold on to the arm that held on to him.
"Help me," he whsipered brokenly.
"I can." There was a nod. A gentle kiss on his tear stained cheek."I will."
Then the room exploded into a world of darkness.
X-x-X
tbc