Thank you all so much for your reviews!

I love writing about "happy" Tony and Michelle, but a huge part of who their characters are alter while they were apart (and then back together!), So the following is takes place after Michelle has left Tony and is slightly longer than my other ones…

Please review and enjoy… Happy Holidays!

This chapter features a revised "Your Picture" by Gloria Estefan

Morning. One of Michelle's least favorite part of the day now. No, that was an understatement. Every minute of the day was hard, something she felt she had to get through… but for what? To go home from her job at Division to an empty house, a lonely house. Eat a microwaved meal, fall into bed and straight to sleep, not because she wanted to, the exhaustion drove her to do it. She hated what she had been forced to do.

She had left him, her rock, pillar, her love. She despised herself for it, yet she tried to convince herself that it was necessary, this Tony was not the man she had married or planned a life with.

Now she felt naked without her ring on her left hand- no, Tony's ring on her left hand. Now she woke-up alone in the mornings.

Every morning, still groggy, Michelle rolled over, instinctively feeling to her left to see if Tony was still in bed. He never was. Michelle knew then, before she opened her eyes, when she didn't ever feel his heat radiating towards her, keeping her warm. And every morning she silently chastened herself for not remembering that she had left Tony. So instead of waking up and looking into Tony's face in the morning, she now (after realizing that Tony wasn't there) greedily grabbed the 5 by 7 picture of Tony from the empty pillow she couldn't go to sleep without kissing and placing next to her…

Every day I wake up to your picture
Open up my eyes and there's still you
In the very same spot I had placed you
The very same expression
That lights up all of my room

She would hold the picture above her head as clear tears slowly blurred her line of vision. The picture was one she had taken on one of their insanely infrequent vacations:

They had gone to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for their honeymoon, and they had just spent a long day together on the beautiful beach and sun, and in their gorgeous hotel room. Hand in hand they walked down the water's edge, watching the sun set. Tony was smiling and laughing at something or other- at that moment Michelle took the picture of the man she loved, the sun casting a beautiful light shadow across his face. His eyes full of adoration toward the person holding the camera.
When they got home, tan and as happy as anyone at CTU had ever seen them, Michelle had that picture enlarged. Tony jokingly told her that she should have a picture of them together, so she re-printed several other's to keep around their house and on their desks, but she loved this particular one too much to share with anybody, she kept it close to her.

Still in bed, Michelle smiled through her gentle tears at the recurring memory, as well as many other that semi-peacefully haunted her at all times. Suddenly taking note of the crinkled edges of the picture, she idly wondered what would happen to her when the picture became worn…

Though the colors maybe somewhat faded
The smile has almost vanished from your face
As you disappear I re-invent you
From my imagination
You can never be erased

She was making herself miserable by longing for him, needing to sleep next to him, she knew she was doing this to herself, but when she saw the picture, it showed her the old Tony, the Tony that was her husband and who would risk his life for her. She didn't want to see him as the Tony who actually had risked everything for her and now seemed to regret it. She sighed.

Michelle propped her small body up on one arm and put Tony's face on the opposite pillow. As much as it hurt her to see him, it was her drug. As impossible as it was to get up to go to work in the morning, she couldn't even open her eyes without knowing that she would at least see Tony, even if it is his picture. She knew when she told Tony that it was over, she would miss him… but she needed- wanted him now, but she couldn't again put herself through the torture that was watching him shrivel away from his old self.


There is no way to bargain with the future
In the end there are no guarantees
Even though you're gone I'll always find you
Right here where I left you
Smiling back at me

Michelle tried to be optimistic. When she was looking at him "beside her", so obviously happy then, she only saw him as he used to be. At first to console herself she tried to tell herself that perhaps they were never meant to be a couple. Maybe they should never have gotten married, that their relationship was a mistake… But that was the worst lie she ever told herself. Anybody could see, just by looking at them how in love they were, how perfect they were for each other. How they had completed each other. After they announced their engagement at CTU, co-workers had told them that they knew how amazing they would be as a couple, how they wondered they hadn't see their relationship coming.

Michelle would always get angry at this thought, if they were meant to be together, why did this have to happen to them? She didn't know. No one would ever know. But that's the way it is, Michelle told herself that she accepted that, but the evidence of her crying for Tony as she would wake was too strong against her case…


Does every star have a season, a moment, a reason to be?
I have watched with regret as they flicker then die
But at least for one second we bathed in the light
Of their passing
The memory forever lasting
Through the weeks and the distance your image remains
Like the first day I saw you, you'll never be changed
I will always need your picture

When she had calmed down, Michelle clutched the picture closely to her chest, eyes shut, willing Tony to change, revert to his former, and better self. So she could go back to being Tony's Michelle, the strong and tender one- not the one with tears slowly cascading down her face, staring at a picture of something she may never have again each morning.

Michelle still imagined the life they had planned to live. A new house in the nice suburbs of Santa Monica- their condo, although large, would never be enough room for the two or three kids they wanted, along with a dog. Then finally, the new jobs, away from CTU and the CIA, they would work in a place that would always keep them and their family safe. When they had gotten married, this one the one piece of advice Jack had given them, which they had decided to follow when the time was right.

Michelle still dreamed of that life, but somehow that dream diluted its self, and became like a fantasy. It almost hurt less to think about it now that she knew it wouldn't happen. She still would still imagine her and Tony's life. She would never want that with anybody else. Michelle knew that deep down she would never be remarried or ever find love like Tony's. Her life was like this morning now…


Every day I wake up to your picture
I fashion you a different attitude
Try to visualize the things you would be doing
Not in desperation
Just to feel a part of you

After she had let the emotions fully wash over and drown her, Michelle knew she had to get out of bed, go to work, save the day, save the country- forget Tony for a little while. She kissed the portrait and slipped it into her bedside table. She stepped into the scouring shower and attempted to wash the pain out of her pores and down the drain. She walked out of the house, always wishing that Tony was walking beside her, that hand on her lower back, guiding her to their car to go to work together. Now she closed and locked the door behind herself, and briskly walked toward her car, head lowered, silently saying a small prayer for her Tony, the man she would always love…


There is no way to bargain with the future
What we have in store we can't for see
Even though you're gone I'll always love you
And your picture's here where I left you
Smiling back at me

I hope you enjoyed this, please review and tell me what you think! I love to hear from readers ! Thank you all!