Chapter Forty-Four

Explanations

I played with Duncan on the floor – ignoring everyone else as Kayn explained his role in my life. Duncan babbled and reached for Cullen. I looked at the Templar in question. He flushed, "I… what?"

"He wants you to hold or play with him…"

Cullen sat on the floor and held his arms out. I sat my son directly into his lap with a smile.

Alistair asked, "Why didn't I know about… him?"

I saw Alistair eyeing the man in jealousy and finally realized what the true problem was… Kayn was a handsome man with broader shoulders, never wore a shirt and had long hair – something I had commented on liking since Alistair had grown his out a bit. I dissolved into giggled, "That is why! Kayn is good-looking and a former flame, but you and Cullen are more to me that just good looks. You're both very handsome and honorable and… my point is, there is no need to be jealous over little ol' me."

Alistair pouted, "I came through the Denerim to Dalaran portals… Duncan said his first word already."

I was unsurprised; dragon babies developed quicker. Duncan smiled proudly and proclaimed, "Mama!"

That surprised me – that I was his first word. I smiled happily, "That's right baby!"

Cullen chuckled while holding the child. I looked around, "Well… I guess this is where I get to explain myself?"

Alistair nodded, "That would be nice."

"Kayn… I married him when I was still rather young – only a few hundred years old. He was imprisoned with my father, but I thought he was dead the whole time. I mourned for a few thousand years – then I was caught by the forsaken. When he was freed, he came looking for me – only to hear that I had moved on. He didn't know about my stint with… all he'd heard was that I'd taken lovers and thought I moved on from him. Our marriage was dissolved and that was the end of it. It was all very low-key. No one outside the Illidari knew. I thought he was dead for so long…"

Kayn sighed, sitting beside Cullen and giving me a questioning look. I nodded – I trusted Kayn. He held a hesitant hand out toward Duncan. I could see everyone waiting with bated breath. Duncan smiled and gripped his hand – pulling it to his mouth to nom on. I giggled, "He thinks you're food, Kayn!"

Kayn chuckled, "You know that children must always test things this way – he is unsure of me."

Alistair sorted, "I've had to pull so many things out of his mouth since he learned to use his arms – it's not even funny!"

"Has he munched on your hair yet? Babies tend to do that…"

Kayn nodded, "I distinctly remember that they have an uncanny ability to judge character – my own daughter never liked our neighbor."

Alistair gave me a confused look; I explained, "Kayn became a demon hunter when his whole family was slaughtered by demons – wife, child, sister and brother. Vengeance is a driving point for Illidari. Many lost homes, families, entire villages to the Demon hordes and then… they sacrificed everything to make sure it didn't happen to others."

Kayn flinched, "You are not Illidari – yet you sacrificed just as much for the cause. You gave your very life to stop N'Zoth. You were always putting yourself in harm's way from the tales I've heard. You know may have begun writing books, ballads and plays about your life. The man who wrote the Compendium of Fallen Heros has taken it upon himself to write a biography about you. He has approached the Horde Council and King Anduin for an introduction to you."

I groaned, "That is… the last thing I want, Kayn. I don't need to be a Hero…"

Alistair snorted, "Why not? People here already call you a Hero – Brother Genitivi is writing pretty much the same thing from a Thedas standpoint. And that is actually what brought me here – I would have just sent your gluttonous bird, but Duncan said his first word when I was talking about it so… here I am."

I held up a hand and walked over to my desk and sat down. I then did a face-plant. Meredith looked distinctly smug about that and I knew she was enjoying my misery. I sighed, "One day – they each get one day to ask their damn questions. I will contact Anduin about Bena Downfall and Alistair can deal with Brother Genitivi. Next order of buissness – Why are you here Kayn?"

"I brought you a gift – to apologize…" he held out a long rectangular box. It was pink and I recognized it at once. I bit my lip and snatched the box, "Forgiven."

Cullen and Alistair both looked completely thrown off track. Meredith asked, "What did he get you that you don't even… most women I deal with usually make a man beg for forgiveness – this is highly unusual."

I opened the box and popped one of the delectable chocolates into my mouth. Kayn explained, "They are Orange Cream filled Dark Chocolates. She mentioned them in passing to a woman as something she missed from a previous… home and her Step-Father Lor'themar made it his mission to create them."

Cullen went bright red as he remembered what I said in the shower. Alistair nudged him, "I usually only get that red when it's related to something she said about… what did she tell you?"

"That I… I smell like chocolate and orange cream with hints of Lyrium and rain."

Kayn began laughing, "That would attract her like a dog to steak alright. I apparently smell like magic, arcane runes, Mage royal, and Earthroot."

Alistair gave a cheeky grin, "I'm fine cheese and Starmetal."

Ka'yu sniggered, "They be comparing scents!"

I nodded, "I'm a dragon – my sense of smell is exceptional. Ka'yu smells like Zandalar and rivers. Meredith smells like… sword polish, sweet rolls and black tea."

Meredith stiffened, "I enjoy black tea. I have murders to investigate – I take it that one is leaving?"

She was pointing to Kayn. I nodded, "I did not think Demon Hunters would be appreciated with their looks."

She nodded firmly and left. Ka'yu slipped out. Then there were 5 – me, the men and Duncan.

Kayn said, "I am surprised this King didn't hit me too – the Captain did."

Alistair shrugged, "I have no need to hit you – if she isn't mad at you, why would I be?"

Kayn looked pleasantly surprised, "That is magnanimous of you."

Cullen scowled, "On that note, I have an issue with you both."

"Oh no," I muttered, instantly knowing what this was about. Kayn and Alistair looked at the Templar. Alistair said, "What issue?"

"I show up here for a 'date' with her – we get to talking about showers and such for the Gallows… somehow this conversation turns into the fact that neither of you – nor I in hindsight – have ever called her pretty or beautiful when she didn't say something first. I was put into the unfortunate position of not being able to tell her otherwise as she had just said something. How does something like this happen?"

Alistair looked panicked and began running through his memories as Kayn said, "I thought she knew…"

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't say it once in a while – she felt that she…" I tackled Cullen and pressed my hand over his mouth. "That is enough – that was the past."

Kayn said, "He has a point, though – just how long have you felt this way, Fa- Atarah?"

I shrugged, "Does it matter?"

Alistair said, "Of course it matters – you're lovely and… how long?"

"… My first marriage," I muttered.

I stood and walked back to sit on top of my desk. Duncan babbled from Kayns' arms and reached for me so I took him. All three men sat there. Cullen had already gone through the guilt, so he was glaring down the other two who now sat there looking guilty.

Alistair whispered, "I thought…"

I sighed, "Cullen really shouldn't have said anything. I have and do feel loved by each one of you – I just don't feel attractive and that's a personal problem. I have always felt like this – and I will admit that being a captive didn't help matters."

Cullen sighed, "You may have felt loved by them, but Alistair had this whole last year and somehow managed to not tell you or show you how beautiful you are unless you said something – a year. And Kayn! Kaye had how long?"

"We were married for just over 20 years," Kayn muttered. Both Alistair and Cullen groaned. Alistair said, "And how often did you tell her she was beautiful, Ser Sunfury?"

"I… I do not believe I ever said it aloud. I have always been the type of man to do things – I always believed that love was meant to be shown not said."

Cullen sighed, "We are all guilty of this…"

I stood, "If you are all going to talk about this, I'm leaving – to me, this is a moot point; things have passed. Kayn and I have been divorced for more than 4 years and had been apart for more than 10,000. Alistair and I haven't been together for a few months now. Cullen, you and I only just started courting, though we've theoretically been engaged for a year."

Kayn shook his head, "He has a point, Princess. 10,000 years ago, manners and chivalry were still quite fresh in my mind and more frequently used among society. I should have said something."

"And even after Leliana scolded me for exactly this, I still didn't realize I never said anything."

I rolled my eyes, "But Cullen is bringing it up now – when I am with him… it makes me uncomfortable to think about my current lover and fiancée scolding past lovers about things they did or did not do while I was with them. I mean… what is either one of you supposed to do about this now?"

Cullen flushed, "I… that is true… I just feel so indignant on your behalf – they never once…"

I sighed, "This was supposed to be a date night… we've now been intruded on by your CO and my exes. You can all help yourselves to dinner – I made pesto chicken alfreado with garlic bread. I find I've… lost my appetite. Maybe we could try having a date another night, Cullen – I'm sorry."

I placed Duncan in Alistairs' arms and left the room. I saw several of my guards watching me with worried looks… I refused to cry.

3 separate times someone knocked on my door – each one offering food and each one a former or current lover.

The next day, Hawke showed up with Fenris, his siblings, Varric, and Aveline. Anders was in his clinic with Ka'yu and Elaria. They had commandeered Inas somehow – turns out all my guards had a direct link to him… which explained why he was so easily contacted two nights ago.

I invited them all in and said, "What can I do ya for?"

"I would like to speak with that Hunter – Kayn… you said he could help me with my marks." Fenris spoke before anyone else. I flinched but nodded, "I uh…"

I rubbed at my contact for Lor'themar and he answered, "Daughter, what can I do for you?"

The whole group gaped – including Fenris – at the voice on the line that sounded so much like Fenris'. I cleared my throat, "I need Kayn Sunfury to help a friend of mine… he's a blood elf, so I figured I'd call you…"

"Hmm… I will agree to contact him if I can come for a visit? I haven't seen you since the Council summit and we were both far too busy."

I rolled my eyes, "I agree to your terms, Lord Theron."

I could feel the man pouting – and from the looks on other faces, so could they. I cut off the connection.

Fenris gave me a stare, "Why does he sound like me?"

I had to resist the urge to say that the two men shared a voice actor – I really did. I smiled, "Come now – do you think you're the only man in all the universes with that distinct voice? My step-father sounds similar to at least 7 other people in Azeroth – Brother Pike of Stormsong, a Fleet-admiral and a few others come to mind. In another world I lived in – Skyrim was a province of the world Nirn – you both sound similar to a captain I killed named Gaius Maro, The Skyrim High King Ulfric Stormcloaks' right Hand, Rexus, and some stupid merc named Sulla Trebatius who thought he could kill me after turning on his fellow merc when I happened upon them in a ruin. The universes are a mysterious force, Fenris."

That was all true – Gideon Emery played more than just those voices in each world, but he did voice the ones listed. He was also Samson, Gatsi Sturhald – the dwarf who deciphered the mosaics in Inquisition – in Dragon age two he was recruit Paxley, Dworkins' Cousin Temmerin, Harbormaster Liam; and 16 other voices in Origins alone.

I smiled sweetly – no way was I telling this man that in another alternate universe he was Poseidon, god of the sea. Fenris looked suspicious, "Why are you smiling like that?"

"I happen to like you Fenris – as family, so don't get that look. You and I have gone through…"

Kayns' voice spoke, "Am I allowed to apologize for what happened now?"

I glanced up and said, "No – I want it buried like the proverbial hatchet. Father, may I introduce Aveline Vallen – a brave warrior who saved many lives at Ostagar – Garrett Hawke, a fine mage, his sister Bethany – also a fine mage – their brother Carver who is an outstanding warrior worthy of respect among the people of Azeroth, Varric Tethras is a Loremaster, and Fenris is a warrior I would fear should we ever cross paths and love to have at my back as an ally."

Lor'themar jumped to greet each member of the group with great respect; he focused on Aveline and Carver first before turning to Varric and nodding respectfully, "Shall I have Lorewalker Cho come here? He is always looking for new stories and this new world is a mystery he would love to get onto paper."

"So long as he trades in kind – Varric is the same way." I smiled. Varric looked almost giddy at the thought. Lor'themar then looked to Fenris, "The way she introduced you… she has only said such words for one other. She fears no one, so I must assume that you have her confidence. Might I know how that has come to pass?"

"I am not sure myself," he said smoothly, glancing at me. My step-father looked surprised at the voice before looking at me. I chuckled, "Fenris is a kindred soul, father – he survived all that I have at the hands of the forsaken. His adversaries were mages but the result was similar to what I was like fresh out of jail."

Lor'themar flinched and said, "That is a feat – well, she will not let you go easily, then. I should simply welcome you to the family and call it a day."

I smirked at Fenris' confusion, "What?"

I said, "I adopt strays. You are not ready for the family bracelet yet – the one like they all wear that marks them as part of my pack. You would hate that you could never take it off no matter how well connected you would then be. I respect you too much to force the issue."

Anders' voice grumbled, "I didn't get that choice."

I saw Fenris smirk at that – he had been warned about Anders' unique condition already. Anders continued, "Oh no – the vigil was safe and you just clip the damn thing onto my wrist without a word and you got Nate too. Oghren already had one. Why didn't I get a choice?"

Lor'themar snorted, "From what I am hearing, this means you were never a slave. My daughter has a soft spot for slaves – frees them when she can, helps to rehabilitate ones that grew up in slavery. She will teach them, clothe them and teach them life skills as needed. The last thing a former slave needs is a cuff that does not come off."

I stepped in, "Father, this is Anders – my possessed mage. He holds a spirit of Justice within him."

Lor'themar looked furious, "You keep a possessed mage with you? Why?"

"He is important to the future as he is – I could have prevented the merging and stopped them from becoming Vengeance, but it needed to happen."

Kayn groaned, "The Company you keep, Princess…"

I shrugged, "I kept you around for 20 years – call yourself out, I dare you."

"We were married – it's different."

Aaaaaand there goes another person decking him. I yanked my step-father off of him, "Inas and Cullen beat you to the ass-kicking, Father."

"I have yet to meet this Cullen – but remind me to get him a gift basket when I do."

"And what do you plan to put in it?"

"What's his class?"

"Templar – mage hunter warrior," I snipped.

My step-father got the biggest grin, "He's the one you got the sword for? The Dwarves in Ironforge and the Dark City have all been talking about that for the past year. You've never commissioned such a top tier weapon before – in fact no one has. The set is legendary. I will get him some interesting baubles and armor."

I rubbed my face before pulling out the picture I kept of Cullen in Inquisition armor that I had drawn, "He'll need this style in 8 years…"

Lor'themar looked it over critically, "It fits him somehow. I would look dreadful in something like this – Anduin would too, and he is the embodiment of a lion. I will have my people get to work on it. Hmm… what sort of enchantments would it need?"

"He'll be fighting demons and former Templars that have gone mad. You decide."

Fenris cut in, "I am missing a lot – and I find myself oddly curious about it."

I gave them all a quick run-down of why my step-father just punched my former husband and how he was a former husband. Most of them had already known this, of course – and it wasn't what Fenris was asking about – I misunderstood.

"Not that – I am aware of that as it was said two nights ago. I find myself curious about your father. I thought his name was Illidan."

Lor'themar laughed, "That would be her biological father yes – but I was her mothers' husband. I'm her step-father. But as Illidan was locked away for so long, I took to being her father more than he had."

Hawke snorted, "From what I heard back in Lothering, you didn't do a very good job."

I flinched, "Hawke!"

Lor'themar nodded, "He has a point, child. In truth, Malfurion would not allow me to take her in and her mother vehemently refused. My hands were tied since Malfurion was her legal guardian – to take her would have been kidnapping and would have escalated the war between our factions – I had to think of my people. I tried to care for her in secret – a woman named Valeera Sanguinar was given neutrality between the Horde and the Alliance for her help in both areas. I had Valeeras' ancestor, a high elf mage named Relfthra, aiding me when Tara was an elfling. It's how I learned her likes and dislikes from a young age – like the chocolates she mentioned that I had never heard of… that took me two years to perfect for her. I tried to do what I could – eventually, she grew up. I was able to convince the Warchief that she should also be granted neutrality – like Valeera – because of how terribly most of the Alliance had treated her. The Warchief felt she might eventually be turned spy for him so he granted it."

I spoke, "Later on, I had Uncle Magni – the diamond dwarf of Khaz Modan. He met me once and just… sort of… adopted me. I think I broke down in tears when he said I was his family. I only had Inas and Lor'themar at that point – Kayn had been reported dead so all I had… in the last few thousand years, I'd take lovers for a year or two before they moved on to others. I was a hardass most days – I'd been the Alliance General since I was 200 years old; another reason I was thought to be the perfect person to vet for being a spy by the Warchief. Can you imagine how most of those stuffy old men reacted to a hardened general bursting into tears because this dwarf called her family? The Dwarves have since been the most tolerant of me – not fully accepting me, but tolerating me more than other races had."

Kayn spoke smoothly, "The Illidari – once released from the imprisonment we had all been subjected to – once again sought her out. She took control of us at once – revealing her birthright as Lord Illidans' daughter and the proof of it. We all accepted her as our leader. When Lord Illidan returned, he… he did not like that she was his daughter and denounced her. Most of us had already taken to following her, however and still followed her orders. When Lord Illidan realized that she had yet to make a wrong call about any of the missions she assigned to us and that we followed her without question, he started to warm to her and observe. He had known her as a young woman who aided the Illidari before we were imprisoned – the only person to have done so outside out allied races such as a group of Naga and several other beings. She was the only 'light race' to aid us. The day Lord Illidan took the mantle of Jailor, he formally passed on his leadership to her – and acknowledged her as his daughter."

"And we will likely never see him again," I sighed.

Hawke sighed and yanked me into a hug, "Don't think that – that you gained approval from someone only to lose them. It is not your fault."

I jerked and looked up at him, "How…?"

"I've been there, sweetheart – I know."

Lor'themar looked him over, "Perhaps I should get this young man a gift basket too…"

Garrett smirked and quipped, "I like shiny things and hair soap."

I laughed, "Get him some sparkly spell tomes."

Lor'themar laughed deeply, "The ones in your bedroom at Sunfury Spire might work."

"I haven't touched them in more than 50 years – they may as well get some use."

"Sunfury Spire?" Bethany giggled.

"No relation to Kayn here – the Spire was named after the Sunfury Forces that guard the city. Before that, the palace of Silvermoon was called Sunstrider Spire after the Royal family – the Sunstrider family. After the last Sunstrider Prince died, Lor'themar Theron stepped in as Regent. There is to be no King or Prince any longer. The last Prince decreed that his Father Anasterian was to be the last king of the Blood Elves. And when Kael'thas died, Father upheld the decree – and refused to take the mantle of 'prince' since he is not of royal blood. My sons maintain heirship to the regency now."

Lor'themar chuckled, "May they make better rulers that I have."

"You've done well. You know they are getting married in a few days?"

"I hear you are to bring Cullen, Alistair and Duncan?"

I sighed and rubbed my face, "Yeah – I forgot to ask them both yesterday. I'll ask Cullen when he comes over tomorrow and I'll call Alistair when you all leave for the night."

Hawke spoke, "And that's my cue to tell you why we're here – you know why he tagged along. Donnic has the satchel tomorrow night."

Aveline nodded, "Brennan had it for that ambush, and when she turned it in we lost our chance at having proof of Captain Jevans' misdeeds. I want to warn Donnic, but we you were right."

"He can't know – he'd be on guard and the bandits would know something was up ad we'd lose our chance to catch them. I'm surprised it took this long for Jevan to set up a second attempt."

"The Makers' Favored stepped in with the ambush, Stormlight," Aveline said drily. I chuckled, "Yeah, no – I get that; but I spread a rumor around town that I was busy wooing my man over the past week."

"But he only had proof of that yesterday when Knight-Captain Rutherford came here." Aveline pointed out. I shrugged, "I suppose you have a point, Vallen. If I had never stepped in, it would have been the next night that Donnic had a walk in Lowtown at night with the satchel."

"He's in Lowtown tonight, at least. You got that part right."

"Lowtown and outside of the city are the best places for that 'drop' to happen. After that ambush, patrols on the coast need to be more than one guard. Hawke and my guards took care of all the gangs thus far so Lowtown would be a 'quite' patrol and also the best place for an ambush, since my guards supposedly have surveillance on Hightown."

"Supposedly?" I heard Renli laugh, "No, no, dear girl – we do have Hightown monitored. The Guard room on this floor has all the camera footage from around Hightown – we wouldn't want to risk anything getting close to our charge. It was Andans' idea and Dibink made it work."

I groaned, "Renli is there a reason you're…"

Renli gasped and moved toward Fenris with darkened eyes.

Fenris took a step back, "What are you doing, elf?"

"You feel like Arcwine – us Nightborne are addicted to the stuff; we turn into withered without it – losing our lives after too long."

"He feels like an Illidari too – it's the Lyrium in his skin." Kayn said.

I nodded and said, "Lyrium is Titan Blood, if that gives you an idea."

Renli looked like he had a sudden epiphany and exclaimed, "Lyrium is what this world uses to boost or nullify magic! Arcwine and Arcane Runes are close to the same – Illidari are a very desirable target for withered."

I cleared my throat, "Fenris is uncomfortable with being touched, Renli."

At once my guard backed off, "My apologies then – I would offer you some Arcwine, but it is… not a good idea for those who are not Nightborne to consume it. Tara is the only Elf to suffer no ill effects from imbibing it – ever."

I smiled, "That would be my dragon soul absorbing the magic from the wine and converting it into something more… useful."

"Are you saying dragons could drink it?" Renli and Lor'themar looked curious. I shook my head, "No – just those like me with a Dragon soul but mortal body; my sons, for instance. They may no longer have the marks or abilities, but they still hold the soul of dragons. Duncan could drink it with no problems – if he were older, of course. I mean there's also the sparkling cider version or the Juice that is given to the kids…"

"Should I get him some?" Lor'themar asked.

"It might be a good idea. Duncan has no magic other than being a dragon – which means he has no way to nurture that side of him. Arcberry Juice would help him immensely in that aspect."

The Regent nodded his head and pulled out his communicator – an invention of Inas' that began when I described the intended use of Cell Phones… unlike the Gnome invention of Walkie Talkies.

I heard Thalyssra on the other end of the call. Father didn't fuck around – he went right to the source.

Hawke cleared his throat in amusement, "Your guards have Hightown under lock and key?"

Renli nodded, "We're so far removed from Lowtown that there is no point monitoring it – so many steps on that path! But here in Hightown, we make sure we know if people are coming this way and if they are, we monitor intentions. If someone thinks they can hurt our charge, well…"

Renli had a very earie smile – it made me want to shudder. I coughed, "So – was that all?"

"Nah – I want to know more about Lorewalker Cho." Varric smiled.

I waved my hand, "What's there to know? He speaks in riddle half the time, but he's good for a story – you want to know about the Mogu? He's your guy."

"And if I want to know all about Azeroth?" Varric asked.

"Well, it might take 10 to 20 years to talk about it all, so you might want to narrow your horizon, but Cho will tell you everything and get distracted by one detail and launch into another story."

We all continued like this while Kayn had taken Fenris aside to teach him how to control the pain he was always in. It was several hours later when I heard Kayn suggest, "We could add one more mark – it would be painful but it would be a Rune against pain."

"NO," I shouted. They all looked at me. Kayn looked confused, "Why not?"

"Fenris blacked out and lost all his memories during the first set – and it's when his lovely black hair turned white. If we so much as started to add more he'd go into pain flashbacks and lose everything again."

Fenris nodded to me, "You are positive of this?"

"I… I don't just see futures that are certain – I can see possibilities too. If you were returned to Denarius for any reason, that's exactly what would happen. We can get him an amulet, but there will be no more markings added to him."

Fenris looked thoughtful and said, "I… thank you for tell me. It is good information to have."

Lor'themar looked ill, "That means there was a future where he was returned to this… denarius."

I nodded, "Not a future with me here – that's for damn sure. This particular future was something that might have happened if I never came to Thedas."

"Then how did you see it?" Lor'themar looked confused. Shit… I had sipped big time. I never saw a potential future after such a big event – like me coming here – nullified it. I cursed, "I knew Thedas was my next stop, okay? I knew that when I died in Azeroth, I'd come here. I've known for the last 520 years."

Kayn hissed and seized my arms, "Tell me that you didn't know how you would die."

"… I swore I wouldn't ever lie to you, Kayn."

He let go and turned on his heel, pacing. Lor'themar looked pained, "Why – why did you allow yourself to die knowing that it would happen?"

"I had to. There was no alternative. It was Inas or me in the situation – no one who was there would have believed me and done what I had to do and if I didn't do it, and then I wouldn't have been here when I needed to be. I had no real choice; I swore I would always do what I needed to, you know that."

Kayn whirled, "You should have told me!"

"You would have taken my place! It needed to be me!"

Fenris cleared his throat, "I think it is time for us all to leave, Hawke – this seems to be a family discussion."

Hawke nodded and they all left – leaving me with Kayn and Lor'themar. I wasn't sure when Renli left, but he wasn't around at the moment.

I sighed, "Look – what's done is done. There is no going back. Had I survived that event, I'd be married to Anduin now. Had I survived, someone else would have died – and that could have been Inas. I did what I had to do. I have things to prepare for, so please excuse me."