Chapter Forty-Five

Sunday

Cullen came over early on Sunday; like the sun was just barely over the horizon when he knocked on the door. I was woken when Altatras' voice said, "She's in here; good luck."

The door opened and I sat up sleepily. I saw him just fine from my 4-poster bed – he looked uncomfortable.

"Cullen?"

"Ah… T-Tara… I didn't mean to…" he was flushed. I yawned, "Since you're here so early, come snuggle with me."

He coughed, "I… I mean…"

"It isn't like we haven't gotten more than comfortable before, love," I chuckled. He looked thoughtful at that before just coming over and sitting on the edge of the bed. He started undoing the laces of his boots and top. I don't think he'd realized I was completely nude – I never wore clothes to bed in this house and neither did my guards, for some reason. If someone ever managed to brake in, they'd have an army of naked people to fight – of course those who were on duty would be dressed… usually.

He was down to only his pants when he took off his messenger bag and set it on the bedside table before slipping under the covers with me. His face heated when his hands found my bare skin.

I snuggled into him, "I could get used to this…"

He cleared his throat, "I think I could too. I had hoped to apologize… why did Lady Altatra wish me luck?"

"I attacked the last person to wake me so early. It's not The Bight and I'm not sleeping in a tent – I get possessive of my sleep when I'm in a real bed. I make exceptions for those I'm bedding – they just don't know that at all, so… she thought I would attack."

He chuckled, "That explains the sympathetic gazes of your other guards too. Taliwe actually seemed to flinch when she saw where Altatra was leading me."

"Taliwe was the last to wake me when I had a visitor. They've started either turning away visitors until I'm awake or letting them wake me."

"But… you sleep naked…" he muttered. I nodded, "I'm especially vicious to people I don't know waking me. I've managed to never let people see the goods though. I have a way of keeping the blanket around me."

He relaxed at that and squeezed me gently, "I'm sorry, you know; about Friday and what I did…"

"I told Kayn when he came over yesterday to train someone; I want the issue buried. I don't want to think about it anymore. I love you and I understand why you did it – it just made me feel bad that they were getting scolded for something that is sort of irrelevant at the moment. Now, we are in bed – and unless you bring either of them into our bed, I don't think they should be talked about here."

Cullen flushed and somehow, I could tell he was imagining us having fun – so I teased, "You know… we could do more than snuggle…"

He groaned, "I… I mean…"

I moved from my 'snuggle' position to kiss his softly. He smiled against my lips and kissed me back, "Last time we did this, we got interrupted…" he muttered.

"It's rather early, Knight-Captain – we have the whole day… though I have a City Guard to save tonight, so I won't be able to keep you with me – you might see something illegal."

He chuckled, thinking I was joking and kissed me again.

Later on – when I was more awake and the sun was properly in the sky – we made our way downstairs. I had hidden his armored top while he was in the bathroom and grinned like the Cheshire cat when he asked me where it was… so he was in his pants, boots and gloves, but no top.

Taliwe pouted, "He woke you up, though!"

"I make exceptions for lovers and kids, Taliwe. You know how we Dragons are…"

She rolled her eyes but said, "Yeah – you scent mark your mates and kids."

Cullen looked confused, "Scent-mark?"

"You know when I rub against you? Sometimes it's just my face in your neck or hair, but when I do that, as a dragon, I release scent markers – it not only lets me know that the person approaching is one of mine; it will ward off any wee-beastie that gets a thought to attack. My scent is strong enough to ward off a high dragon in Thedas – so if you encounter one, you should be safe enough but the downside is that you'll get funny looks from your coworkers and friends."

"A small price to pay to avoid bears," Ivan commented drily from the stove – he was making lunch. I lit up, "Oooh – cheese stuffed hamburgers?"

"One better, boss – they're Falcosaur Burgers."

I licked my lips – who knew that Falcosaur would have been a pregnancy craving with Duncan that never went away? I heard Ka'yu chuckle.

Cullen looked at me amused, "You still haven't told me why you hid my armor, Tara."

I cleared my throat, "Show of hands – who would return this mans' armor?"

Not one person raised their hands. Cullen looked confused, so Elaria spoke.

"You are a very good looking man, Ser Cullen. It is no surprise that she wishes to show you off."

He went so red that his chest was flushed, "I… is that really why you hid my top?"

"Oh yeah – if I had a body like any of them, I'd show it off. The armor your order wears just doesn't do you justice!"

"I… well, I… I like the way you look…" he muttered, pulling me close. He'd been sure to remind me of that 3 times over the past several hours. This made the fourth time. I smiled a little – he was really trying to make up for years of people not telling me.

"Is that so? Hmm… perhaps I should visit the Qunari Compound soon – I might be able to get my hands on an Antaam-Saar…"

I had told him all about those this morning. He groaned and held me tighter – likely using me as a cover to hide his renewed arousal, but everyone already realized that. Taliwe asked, "What is an Antaam-Saar?"

I explained it to her and she looked interested, "Think I might get one? Oh – maybe one for Altatra, Elaria and Ka'yu as well! I think they we could all have a day of it!"

"Taliwe, you wear heavy armor most of time."

"So? I like to feel sexy as much as the next person."

Ivan looked her over, "You don't need any help with that, Way."

Renli nodded, "None of the women in this house need help looking sexy – really, I'd even do the men."

Ivan cleared his throat, "I'll take you up on that – put your money where your mouth is, Ren."

Dibink laughed, "That could be an interesting pairing."

Renli was omnisexual – he didn't care about race, gender, religion, or anything else; he'd bed anyone he found appealing if they gave off receptive signals. I knew that – the others didn't seem to.

Most of my guards were at the very least Bi. I knew Ka'yu was straight as a 180 degree angle – there was no bend at all. She was the only one. Andan preferred his own race, but boy or girl didn't matter. Altatra was Biromantic but asexual. The reverse applied to Dibink – he was Aromantic bisexual. Elaria was actually Trans – she had been born as a male, but even Elune recognized her as female so what right did bigots have to say otherwise? She enjoyed the company of women mostly with the occasional male catching her eye over the years. Ivan and Taliwe were flirts – I wasn't sure that they weren't Omnisexuals too but I had a strong suspicion. Neither seemed to care about their partners gender or lack thereof in any aspect – I had actually walked in on them together at one point.

Cullen was lightly flushed still, but sat at the table – pulling me into his lap. I flushed at that and said, "Well, now that we're all gather here, I…"

The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Taliwe said.

It was the crew. Ivan smirked, "I had a feeling – good thing I made enough to feed two armies."

Hawke sat on Cullens' left while Varric sat to our right. Fenris sat by Taliwe, Bethany and Carver sat by Renli, Aveline sat beside Varric and Anders – who had come up from his lair – sat by Altatra.

I adopted a serious look, "I suppose you all wonder why I've called you here today."

Hawke snorted, "Yes, oh illustrious one, why did you call us?"

He was calling my bluff to see if I would come up with something – everyone watched so I said solemnly, "It is time now to create… the ultimate… dance party!"

Ivan laughed and hit a button on his remote and the song started – Shake your Euphemism by Blue Man Group!

It is time now to create the ultimate dance party. You may already have a catchy Melody and a fierce groove. But that's not enough. To take things over the top you will need to employ the greatest weapon in the dance party arsenal. You will need to start shaking your rear end, or as some people call it your…

Cullen choked on his water – the glass had been given to him by Andan when we sat down.

Hawke laughed, "You win this round!"

Varric was sniggering, "Andrastes' tits, this was perfect!"

Even Fenris looked amused, but only if you looked close enough at his eyes – he had a resting kill face after all.

"How did you already have that set up?" Carver asked with a flushed face. I smiled, "I had a feeling you'd all be here bright-eyed and bushy tailed."

Damn – I should have waited to use that joke until Merrill joined us. Too late now, I guess… I'd find more opportune times later.

Bethany giggled and said, "I had a question for you Tara – but… I think I should ask it later…"

"No need, Sunshine – of course I will teach you how to shape-shift! Cullen can't drag you into the Gallows since you're a Warden-Recruit, so there's no point in hiding your magic."

Cullen stiffened but just said, "Ah… Wardens are outside the jurisdiction of Templars – it's why I haven't lunged across the table to catch Anders, after all. I do hope you have proof that she's a recruit, Tara, or…"

I pulled out the letter, "Will this letter from Warden-Commander Mahariel do? It's the recruitment papers for both Carver and Bethany, so…"

He read over the papers, "Then of course – I will have to report this to the Commander, but they're all yours, Liaison Stormlight."

I smiled sweetly, "I was assigned to train you both before you get your Joining. I was going to wait to tell you, actually – but when we go on the deep roads expedition, the two of you will not be returning."

Bethany just accepted it – I'd already saved her life once, so she knew.

Carver said, "Really? I'll get to be a warden? Makers' Breath, I never thought…"

"Best news; you will both survive the joining – I wouldn't allow you to go on the expedition if I wasn't positive you would survive. The reason is that you will have to undergo the joining if you come along – it's why Anders is being forced to come too. He'll know where to find Stroud when you each… ahem, when it comes time for you to part from us."

Anders paled – he knew what I was saying. He simply nodded, "If that's why you insist, then of course I will come with, Alpha."

I nodded firmly. Fenris gave me a sharp look, "Alpha?"

"I'm the Alpha of this pack – anyone who wears one of these is a pack member. Cullen doesn't wear one yet, but he and Alistair are my Betas' – my second in command. Lyna is my Delta – my third. I also have quite a few others in my pack. If you find someone who wears one, you are allies – I don't care if you had a contract to kill them, they are off limits. They can't come off unless you die – and if you die, it either goes to next of kin in your heart – like a son, sister or whoever you acknowledge – or they will dissolve if you have no next of kin. Wynnes' will go to her son, mine would have gone to Duncan but he has his own and that same holds true for Alistair. If anyone wearing one of these comes to you needing aid, you help because they would do the same for you."

Fenris said, "Who all wears one?"

"Alistair, Sister Leliana is the future Left Hand of the Divine, Zevran is a former Crow, Morrigan is the daughter of the famous Witch of the Wilds, Sten of the Beresaad is the future Arishok of Par Vollen, Sereda Aeducan of House Aeducan in Orzammar, Daylen Amell is Garretts' cousin but he's with Morrigan so who knows where they are, Senior Enchanter Wynne, Oghren of house Branka is a Warden, a Legion of the Dead member named Sigrun, a Golem with free will named Shale we found in Honnleath, my friend Aedan Cousland is now an Arl who regents my Teyrnir, Anders here, an Archer named Nathaniel Howe, Bethany and Carver as well as Hawke, Varric and Aveline… oh, and Master Wade and his lover Herren from Wades' Emporium in Denerim!"

Cullen was pouting, "I don't get one?"

"They're impossible to remove – after Kinlock… I didn't want to assume…"

"I'd wear it," he said firmly, so I pulled one out and locked it to his right wrist. He smiled apparently proud of himself.

I chucked, "There, now you're officially pack. This is what happens when they get close. And if you approach someone with one, they will buzz lightly so you're aware even from a small distance. That's really all they do – they're just so there's no infighting in the pack. I'd be sad to see any of my family hurt each other."

Fenris looked skeptical, "That's all?"

"Well… they're also teleport beacons as of the last patch – Inas has them linked in such a way that if an enchantment or spell is added to mine it adds to all of them – mine is the major link-way, so it doesn't work that way for the rest."

"Teleport Beacons?" Aveline questioned.

"I can open a portal or teleport to them. I could open a portal and go directly to wherever Morrigan and Daylen are holed up with their son, Kieran if I felt motivated to do so. But those three deserve their time together. I can sense when the people wearing those bracelets are in danger through mine… but that really is all – they're mostly fashion accessories that don't come off and light up around each other."

"Why even make them?" Taliwe pouted – I knew my guards felt left out for some strange reason known only to them. I chuckled, "The Guardian of the Sacred Ashes pointed out to me that I care very much for people that I have started calling my pack. What would I do if my pack mates began fighting each other? I told him that I was the alpha and all things went through me and he pointed out… how would they know? How would any of my pack mates know they were family though me? He was right – how would any of them know if I was unable to get word to them? So, I came up with extreme friendship bracelets."

Ivan started handing out plates to each person since lunch was ready. He was the one who spoke next, "Don't mind her – we all feel a little left out about the bracelet thing."

"Why?" I asked.

Ka'yu said, "You be markin' others as your family, but you not be botherin' about us…"

"I don't see why I would need to – you all can handle yourselves better than those from Azeroth can. And you can all feel the specific magic on the bracelets, so you'd know. And for their end, you're all pretty unique…"

Taliwe chuckled, "You're not worried about being able to find us?"

"Honey, if you were in trouble, I doubt I'd be much help – if something can kill you, what use am I?"

Renli snorted, "You're a little too smooth, Tara."

I tilted my head, "What do you mean?"

Hawke was laughing too, "You were totally flirting with her; while sitting in Cullens' lap no less!"

"I was?"

Elaria nodded, "I sensed sexual tension the moment you opened your mouth."

"Oh… well, I already made a promise not to sleep with anyone other than… Alistair or Cullen for pretty much the rest of my life unless they were giving permission or joining in. I guess it all depends on the circumstances of who my lover is and such."

I felt Cullens' breath hitch at my words, "No one else?"

"No – I already vowed it before Elune. I was still sort of with Alistair when I took Lyna Mahariel to bed – I was sabotaging the relationship I had with him."

"That's a problem people with low self-esteem have. They think they aren't good enough and find ways to push the people who love them away."

Cullens' arms tightened around me at Altatras' words. Andan nodded, "You had this issue in Azeroth too. At least… when you finally started taking relationships after the uh…"

"Yeah…" I muttered and bit into my burger.

"How so?" Aveline asked, looking interested for once.

"I'd do the odd things – cutting my hair when my partner mentioned loving it how it was, getting ink in a spot when they 'claimed' it as where a couples' tattoo would go and as showcased recently, cheating on my partner. Making that vow will prevent the urge to take others to my bed, at least."

Varric snorted, "A simple vow will do that?"

Elaria cleared her throat, "Making a vow to a goddess is no simple thing, Master Tethras – she swore it and Elune will make it so. If she even tries to break that vow, she will be greatly punished. Flirting without realizing isn't an attempt to take someone to bed, though. If she invited one of us to her room for 'fun' she'd be hit by moonfire or lighting or something. From now until the terms are met, she cannot take others to her bed without express permission of both her specified mates. Both have to approve it since that was how the vow was made – regardless of if she is with one or the other, both or neither."

I nodded as I chewed my food. Fenris asked, "What was the term to meet?"

"Cullen and Alistair would both have to die – and since I also vowed to protect them until my last breath, I would die first."

Cullen froze, "Can we talk in private for a moment?"

I stood and we headed back to my study. The moment the door was closed, he said, "You would… you would die before letting anyone else in your bed?"

I shrugged, "I'm tired of running from how I feel, Cullen. I love you – I love Alistair. I'm giving things between us a chance, but if it doesn't work out, there won't be a 'moving on' for me. I'm done – my dragon decided who my possible life-mates could be and she isn't going to budge from it. If you and Alistair never touched me again, I'd be alone – not because I'd be hung up on you, but because my dragon has decided if I can't have you or him she wants none. Honestly, she…" I cut myself off – I couldn't tell him this early.

"She what? She seems to be a separate entity from the way you speak so what does she want?"

"Don't – I… it's not wise to tell you yet. I will if you press, but you will walk out that door and you won't look back. I love you – I want what time I can get from you before my dragon or Alistair decides to butt in. please…"

"I think I already have a guess – I'm hoping I'm wrong, and I am quite hesitant to ask…"

"Then don't – give me until the one year mark. One year since I arrived in Kirkwall of us just… being together. And then, after a year, I will lay everything out and you can choose if this is something you still want. Alistair had a year with me – I'd like a year with you…"

He looked torn – his instincts screaming at him to ask the question and his heart telling him not to. I could read it on his face.

He sighed, "You realize that leaves us 11 months now?"

I nodded, "If only you had two days off in a row – I could have you move in for your weekends."

His lip twitched, "There's nothing saying I can't come over when my shift ends on Thursdays and Saturdays… and stay the night through until the next."

I walked into his arms, "I hope you don't hate me after… my heart will be broken enough without that."

"I couldn't hate you – not after all we've been through together and all I've learned of you. I think the only possible thing that could cause that would be you suddenly practicing blood magic – and we both know that isn't possible."

I tightened my grip, "I hope that holds true."

"As though I'm going to make a misstep when King Alistair is waiting in the wings to steal you back from me? He already has the advantage – he has a son with you."

I giggled, "If you want a baby with me, you need only say so – I'll stop taking my birth control the minute you express interest in that."

He went bright red, but at the same time… the words seemed to arouse him – if the hard bump I felt was anything to go by.

He cleared his throat, "You… you would want that?"

I snorted, "Duncan was a surprise, I will admit. But I have never loved my children less for any reason. Speaking of that…"

He looked confused, "What?"

"My sons – Asthan and Alstus are getting marred day after tomorrow. They asked that I bring Alistair, Duncan and… and you."

"Oh – it's a bit short notice, but I think I can get Commander Meredith to agree to my absence for a few days."

"Just tell her I'm leaving the city and it's a good way to monitor me," I sighed. "She'd likely say no to that since we are… courting. But if I tell her a friend is getting married and I need some time off, she might say yes. I can ask tomorrow."

"I'll come by around noon to collect your answer. I already got gifts from me and from you – Alistair took care of his own gift. I meant to ask weeks ago but I kept… getting distracted."

He chuckled, "I get like that sometimes. Back to the topic at hand, though; what made you decide that it the vow had to include King Alistair and me?"

"Oh, that… I love you both and… well… it's a long and complicated story – one that should wait until I can explain the whole thing. And I'm positive it's what's going to result in me ending up alone. Please do not tell Alistair that the vow holds if I'm not with either of you? He'll refuse to take a queen if he knows – he's already being stubborn about it."

"You're not worried about me knowing? You're so sure you're going to end up alone, yet you've told me…"

"Oh – I'm more than half-convinced that you'll be leaving me of your own free will after you learn the big secret. It won't be an issue for you to… move on."

He looked pained, "You believe Alistair loves you more – so why are you here with me?"

"That is not it – the thing is, the big secret was mostly Alistairs' idea and my dragon loved the idea. The thought may have occurred to me eventually without his interference, but he jumped to it first. When I was trying to suggest things to get him to push me away – because I was sabotaging – he suggested something that I'd never considered before."

"… I am more than curious now…"

"I know – and I'm sorry, but I am a selfish woman – I don't want to lose you so soon… and if I tell you, I'm more than positive I will lose you."

"Have you had a vision?"

"I… well, no. I'm terrified to call the vision because I don't want to feel that heartbreak…"

"I'm sure I won't leave you for something He suggested."

"… I will let him tell you after the wedding."

"Okay – that's fair." I felt my heart break a little – I didn't want to lose him, but when he found out I was okay with Alistairs' idea…

He kissed me, "You don't need to worry about me not loving you – I fell in love when you told Uldred that even killing you wouldn't help him. Seeing you be so strong in the face of true evil… and I held you after that. While you were in my arms, you took my heart away with you."

I jumped up and he caught me, "That was sweet – I want you."

"Again… well; who am I to complain?" he groaned as he walked me back to the desk.

We didn't leave the study until someone came knocking. It was already getting dark out.

Hawke said, "Makers' Breath – is he really that good?"

"Better than you," I smirked. Cullen straightened, but I could see the smugness in his gaze – I think that may have been his goal. Hawke laughed, "He certainly is handsome – if he's ever down for a threesome…"

I chuckled, "How about no – at least, not with you."

Cullen leaned in and kissed my cheek, "I really should be heading back to the Gallows – you said you had plans for the evening."

I nodded with a pout, "You could always help us kill thugs who are blackmailing the Guard-Captain?"

"As tempting as that sounds, the Gallows close their gates at 9 and if I'm not there, I'll be locked out for the night."

"Meaning you'd be late in the morning. Fine – I suppose you should be going…"

He chuckled and said, "At least I will have an answer about the last minute day off request for you."

I sighed, "There is that, I suppose. I really hope your answer doesn't change when you find out the secret…"

He hugged me tight, "I don't think it will; not after what was said on Friday."

What was said? I furrowed my brow – what was he thinking of? He leaned in and whispered, "In the shower – you're still here with me…"

Oh… oh. I gave a weak smile as he left. Why did I feel like crying? I wasn't even going to get the whole year I had hoped for – but he was sure he wanted to know…

Dibink spoke, "The work-force to set up the showers will be here tomorrow. Goblins and Gnomes, as requested, will be working on it. I think you were right – they'll try to one-up each other."

I nodded, "Show them directly to the Gallows when they arrive. Hawke, Aveline – it's time for a night walk in Lowtown."