The Archivists of the TVA

by LadyLorena

Deep in the Time Variance Authority offices, there is a massive archive filled with the film reels of every life recorded. There are millions of reels. And in order to serve the needs of the Analysts in the Time Theatre, a number of Archivists pull reels, cut and reassemble film, and live lives that are largely isolated from the rest of the TVA. And then they discover Loki.

9. A Prayer Becomes a Vow

Early in the morning, a few hours after Judith left, Loki wakes to the screech of the PA system coming to life. He hears a familiar voice start speaking.

"Hello, fellow creatures of the TVA. I am an archivist. I watch lives. We perpetuate atrocities in the name of the Sacred Timeline, millions dead when genocides are allowed in the name of 'it has to be this way' and I can tell you no, it did not. I had a life before this place and it was amidst one of those genocides. My name was Judith, and I fought back, but I was arrested by the TVA because I couldn't be allowed to win. The TVA stole us all. And it should burn." There is a pause and Loki hears a commotion in the hall, the sounds of Minutemen running toward the archive, someone shouting orders, then her voice, trembling, begins to sing, "Now is the time to seize the day, stare down the odds and seize the day. Minute by minute, that's how you win it, we will find a way, but let us seize the day. Courage cannot erase our fear; courage is when we face our fear. Tell those with power, safe in their tower, we will not obey." Loki doesn't recognize the song, but he knows Judith loved musicals from Earth and thinks this is probably something from that genre and planet.

He jumps from his bed, tugs on his trousers, and flings open the door, calling to the nearest Minuteman running by, "What's going on? What are you doing?"

"Ordered to the archive. There's a rogue archivist. Something went out on all the TemPads. Should be on yours, too."

Then Judith's voice comes over the PA again, "Remember...whatever happens...the TVA is a terrorist organization. What will you do knowing that they could prune the threads of destruction and war and instead keep them in favour of so much death? The Sacred Timeline is drenched in blood. It doesn't have to be."

The pounding on the archive doors echos over the speakers. Judith's voice grows more distant as she yells, "Come and get me you sons of bitches!" The doors slam open and then there are sharp cracks, unintelligible voices yelling over one another, a scream, and then the sound of an explosion. Loki squeezes his eyes shut, his heart sinking. He feels sick.

The voice of a Minuteman comes across the speakers, "It's over. This one's gone."

Another one, "Secure the rest of the archive. Make sure there's nothing else here."

And a third voice, "Shit, this thing's still on." Then the PA clicks off.

Loki closes his door and leans on the door, sinking to the floor, his heart broken for his friend, "What did you do, Judith? How was it worth this?" Then he remembers what the Minuteman in the hall said about the TemPad and stands, unsteady, to find his. He knocks it off the bedside table, hands shaking as he picks it up from the floor.

There is a message scrolling in loop across the screen, "We are all Variants. Learn who you were. Find the reel of your life. Learn your nexus point. You can't remember, but you can still fight back."

He sets it back down, dropping to the bed, his head in his hands, "Oh god, Judith...I promise you, I will do this, no matter what it takes." He turns his face upward and whispers, "No matter where you are, my friend, know you were loved and I will find a way to stop this, even if I have no idea what that means or how I will do it. For you, for Sylvie, for your people, for everyone culled and sent to death by this despicable place." He falls back on the bed, curls up on his side, and cries himself back to sleep.

In the morning, numb, Loki dresses and splashes cold water on his face in the attempt to bring some kind of focus to his head. But he knows it won't work. He knows something happened beside a pruning in the archive and he doesn't know if he wants to find out what. He heads to the library and finds a corner where he won't overhear anyone talking about what happened. When he goes to lunch, he dreads what he will hear. He picks at his salad, knowing he needs to eat, but not sure if it will stay down.

He overhears someone at a nearby table, "Did you hear what happened last night? It woke me up. Some crazy stuff down in the archive."

A second person answers, "Were you up before they purged the message from the TemPad? I heard it was something pretty radical. A bunch of delusional crap."

Loki keeps his head down, both wanting to know what they say, and also wanting to hear nothing at all.

"Nah, but I heard it was pretty bad."

"What about Mobius? Did you see it?"

"I did."

"What do you think about it?"

Mobius sighs, "I don't know. It seems pretty out-there."

"Just somebody who spends too much time down there cutting film, I guess. Must've finally got to them."

"Did anybody else hear the stuff over the PA? Some kind of explosion."

"Yeah, talked to some Minutemen. The crazy bitch got some kind of weapon and tried to blow up the Minutemen. Got two of them, too, and herself. I heard it was a mess."

Loki can't take listening anymore. He slams his hand on the table and eyes turn to him as he shoves his chair back, not caring as it tips over, clattering on the floor.

He walks over to the table, "You're all a bunch of despicable cowards. The archivists are people and they have names for Hel's sake! She even told it to you- her name was Judith. And you would have known that before last night if you ever bothered to know who it is making your film reels."

One of them turns to him, "How do you know?"

"Because I bothered to ask who they are," Loki snaps, "I actually give a damn about other people in this place!" He turns to leave, then abruptly returns, "And it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is the TVA hurt her enough to do what she did. You should be ashamed of yourselves for how little you care." He shoves another chair aside as he storms out of the lounge.

Mobius looks after him and sighs, "I should make sure he's not going to do anything rash." He stands, "I'll see you all later."

As he leaves, he hears one of the other people at his table say, "Sounds like somebody else is inching towards the deep end. Better watch that one."

Mobius hurries after Loki and jogs down the hall, calling to him as he gets closer, "Loki! Wait!" Loki ignores him, head down, hands jammed in his pockets, balled into fists. "Loki, please-"

Loki whirls to face him, "No, Mobius. You don't get to talk to me after that."

Mobius drops his voice to an urgent whisper, "Look, we're not supposed to be in the archive! You know that."

"I don't give a damn right now. Judith is dead, and violently, as we all heard last night. Every single one of us should have heard the desperation and sadness in her voice. No one should be talking about it with such callousness."

Mobius sighs, "Where are you going?"

"I'm not telling you," Loki says, turning back around and continuing down the hall.

Mobius follows, "So what am I supposed to do? I know you, Loki. When you're sad or scared or angry, that's when things go wrong!"

Loki's shoulders drop as he stops and leans against the wall, his back to Mobius, "You can look for me in twenty minutes, at the minimum. But if you try to come for me earlier, I...I don't know. But I won't forgive the interruption of my grief."

Mobius puts his hand on Loki's shoulder, "Just promise me you're going to stay safe, OK? And you're going to stay here? No running off."

Loki nods, "You'll be able to find me."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

Loki finally looks back at Mobius' face, "I'll be here. And it isn't hard to figure out where I'll be."

Mobius takes a deep breath, "I'll give you a half an hour. But then I'm going to find you and check in."

Loki nods again, then heads back down the hall. Mobius sighs and heads back to his desk. He sets a timer and tries to concentrate on the pile of paperwork in front of him, Judith's words bothering him just as much as he's worried about his friend.

Loki walks to the archive, not caring who sees him. There are people there who will need him. When he reaches the archive, the doors are battered, dented, and wedged closed. He knocks and hears a voice call to him from the inside, asking who he is. He rests his hand on the door handle and speaks close to where the doors rest together, softly speaking his name. The voice on the other side hesitates, then calls for him to come in.

Loki tugs the doors open and carefully closes them after him before turning to face Tam, on their knees, scrubbing a dark red stain from the floor, their face stoic, "Tam...is that where she...?"

Tam nods, "They took away the bodies, but left us the blood. Iris and I found it. I'm trying to get it cleaned up before they come out of the work room. Iris...is a lot more sensitive than I am. And so is Cyd. I can't let them see this." Tam rings out their rag into a large bucket next to them and sighs, their clothes stained, as they focus on working it out of a crack.

"What happened?"

"Jemmi..." Tam hesitates and looks to Loki for guidance.

"Judith. She named herself to the entire TVA last night. So we all know."

"Oh thank goodness. I don't have to hide her. Our house isn't hooked up to the central speakers. When we saw what went out on the TemPad...we followed the paths she'd shown us and sneaked to where we could hear."

"She came to me last night before...before it happened."

"That's because she trusted you. And she knew you'd need to know why more than anyone else, outside of us. Judith loved you. It wasn't a romance or anything like that, but...it was something based on an incredible amount of trust and a feeling you were a kindred spirit," Tam says.

"I...I don't know how to handle all this, Tam. When her voice came over the speaker...I knew it was over. I don't know how I knew, but...given what I saw in her when she came to me, it was inescapably clear."

"She kept using our TemPad. She went...somewhere. I don't know where. And she brought back a weapon. A gun. That was the cracks. She fired it at them. Even hit one of the Minutemen, though I don't think they died. And then she...she'd built something to explode when the Minutemen came in far enough. I don't know what it was. I don't know how she got the things to build it. But she did. She screamed before it blew up. It was because they didn't try to prune her, they ran her through. And then...it was over. Two of the Minutemen died, too."

Loki feels the tears creeping up and he doesn't try to stop them as they flow down his cheeks, "Oh Judith..."

Tam nods, "I know. I've been trying to focus on what I have to do right now instead of on what happened."

"Can...I can I help?" Loki whispers.

"Not out here. But Iris needs someone. And be gentle with them."

He walks around the edge of the room, trying to avoid thinking about what Tam is doing in the middle of the room. He walks to the work room and finds Iris sitting on the floor, their knees clutched to their chest, shuddering.

He rubs his palms, unsure what to say, before approaching, "Iris...may I join you?"

Iris nods and he sits down next to them, facing them. Iris reaches to wipe the tears from his cheek and their own resume, their eyes already puffy, face red, from only being able to stop just before he walked in the door. They collapse into Loki's arms and both he and they sob openly, Iris wailing in their grief while Loki clutches them.

When Mobius cautiously steps into the archive, he can still hear them in the back room; he stops and stares at Tam, "Good god, they left this for you?"

Tam nods, "Their body was gone, but not their blood."

Mobius shakes his head, "You don't have to pretend she wasn't Judith."

Tam sighs, "I know. I shouldn't be scared. She introduced herself to everyone last night. But...I'm so afraid of what will happen to the rest of us if they find out we've seen the reels. We gave ourselves our names, but...we had them before, too. And now we know what they were."

"So...what name do I call you?" he asks.

"For now, I'm still Tam. I don't know if I want to be Miriam or not. And that's fine. But if they come for us...if they make us examples or prune us or whatever...then call me Miriam. In honour of Judith and what we were when we fought together back before we were brought here."

Mobius shakes his head, "Sorry, I don't know that story."

"This isn't the time to tell you. But maybe she told Loki before she died. He said she came to him earlier last night."

Mobius nods, "I can get someone down here to clean this up for you. You shouldn't have to scrub your friend's blood from the floor."

"No. I need to do this. For her. It's one last act of love. She can't be erased by someone who didn't know her. I know it's not something most people would do, but..."

"But it means something more to you if you do it."

"Exactly."

He looks toward the work room as Iris wails, "Um...are they going to be OK?"

"I don't know. Iris is the most sensitive of all of us. They didn't want to come in today, but we were told we needed to by our supervisors. They said it wasn't a good enough excuse to hear our friend die violently in the middle of the night."

"That's terrible," Mobius says.

"It's our lives," Tam says, dispassionately, "We exist in two places. The house and the archive. We can't visit each other anymore. I lived with another house until everything changed. Then they said we had to live with the people we worked with. I was moved in with Judith, Cyd, and Iris. They made Ayshi leave to live with the archivists they work with. I haven't seen them since. They won't be able to mourn with us, either. We don't see the other archivists until our shift changes and we pass by the others coming into the Earth archive. None of you are allowed to come here. And we can't watch lives. That includes the music we used to live by."

"That sounds absolutely miserable," he says.

"It fucking is," Tam says, bitter, "And yet this is what we live with, what Judith lived with. She used to listen to music and sing every day. That song from last night? It was one of her favourites. She sang it a little differently once she found out who she was. It resonated differently after that."

"Where are the others? Cyd, you said, right? And is there any way I can get Ayshi to come be with you?"

"I don't know. You've got the power in this space, not me. I'm just an archivist," Tam says.

Mobius shakes his head, "No, you're a person. And Loki stood up for all of you today in the lounge to remind everybody of that. I don't intend to let anybody forget it."

"Thank you."

Mobius pulls out his TemPad, "Now let me see what I can do about getting Ayshi here." He starts tapping on the screen, flipping through ideas. He walks around the edge of the room and gestures to the chair by their desk, "Can I sit here?"

Tam nods, "Sure. It's usually my spot. And I'm a little busy."

He is still working on the TemPad when Cyd walks into the room, their head bowed, "I tried to talk to Ayshi's supervisors, but they shut the door in my face."

Tam sighs, "Well...there goes that idea. But we've got a someone willing to help," they say, gesturing to where Mobius sits at the desk.

Cyd tenses, "Why are you here?"

"It's OK. I'm trying to help you find Ayshi," Mobius answers.

"You know their name?"

Mobius nods, "Yeah. You're Cyd. And Iris is in the back and Tam's scrubbing the floor. And it was Judith on the PA last night and I've been told Judith's a 'she' while you're all 'theys.'"

"Why do you care?"

"Because a friend reminded me today that I should care, even if I've been trained not to." He looks to Tam, "Loki is back there with Iris, right?"

"Yes," they answer.

"Can I go back to check on him?" Mobius asks.

"That's up to he and Iris," Tam answers, "Not me."

Mobius taps on a few more things on the TemPad, "I think I might have figured out a way to get Ayshi here, at least for today. Being one of Judge Renslayer's favourites gives me a little pull I shouldn't have."

Cyd sighs, "I hope it works."

"Same here," Mobius says, "None of you should have to be dealing with this without your friends." He stands and walks the few feet to the work room doorway. Loki and Iris still hold each other tightly, their faces pressed into one another's shoulders, sobs shaking their bodies. He knocks on the door frame, "Hey...just want to check on you." Loki sits up and pulls back from Iris, "No, Loki- you don't have to let go of Iris," he says softly, "You need each other more than you need me right now."

Loki glances over his shoulder to look at Mobius, "Thank you," he says, his voice raspy from crying, "Can you bring us water or something?"

"Sure. Anything else you need?"

"Maybe some tissues. And I think Iris is getting cold sitting here- could you find a blanket?"

"Consider it done. I'll be right back. Stay safe." Loki nods and he steps out of the room, passing Cyd at the desk, trying to concentrate on the orders coming down the pneumatic tubes. "Do either of you need anything? I'm going to go find water and some things for the folks in the back."

Cyd shakes their head, "Not anything you can change. I want to block off all those tubes and shoot these damn requests right back up into the faces of the people sending them to us. They know what we went through last night," Cyd says, angry, "And yet here they are, still throwing these damned things at us!" They sweep the request forms off the desk, "Judith was right. This place is hell. I hate it here."

Mobius turns to Tam, "Anything you need?"

Tam drops the rag back in the bucket, "Yeah. For them to stop ignoring that she's dead. For me to not be drenched in water stained with blood." The anger is rising in their voice as well, "For this place to understand what we do. To understand why she died. To know we're all just fucking Variants and there's nothing special about us- we weren't made by this place. We were stolen from our timelines. We could have changed history! We did change history!" There are tears in Tam's eyes, "And so did Judith. But here, here she's just going to be the archivist who went crazy and killed people after she said some things that only proved she was insane."

Mobius' shoulders drop, "I can't change everything, Tam, but I'm going to do what little I can to remind people that you're people here. They probably won't believe we're all Variants. B-15 does. I do. Maybe that's enough of a start to make a difference." He walks toward the door, "Anyway, I'm going to go get some things for everybody. I'll be back soon."

As soon as the door closes, Cyd starts picking up the pages on the floor, "Sorry. I shouldn't have made a mess."

Tam goes back to scrubbing, "A few papers on the floor are nothing compared to all this."

"I really do want this place to burn," Cyd says.

"I know. So do I."

"I can't work like this. Do you think I can just give up on it, even if it's just for a few hours?"

Tam nods, "Iris isn't in any shape to do much. They can't expect us to be at our best today."

"But they will be."

Tam looks up from their work and meets Cyd's eyes, "Then fuck them."

Cyd nods, "I'm going in the back. You should, too."

"Only once I'm done and I've changed clothes."

Cyd scans the floor, "Who knew one person had so much blood?" they say, their voice distant. But when they see Iris and Loki on the floor, holding each other like their worlds will end if they don't, Cyd falls apart. Loki opens one arm to them, the other still snug against Iris, and Cyd slips in, pressing themself against their friends, a fresh wave of sorrow covering them.

Before Mobius returns, Ayshi rushes into the archive with an urgent message in their hands and stops in their tracks when they see Tam, "Oh my god..."

"I know. And this is after. It was worse."

"I feel sick."

"So do I."

"Then how are you still scrubbing?" Ayshi asks.

"Because it's the last thing I can do for Judith," Tam replies.

Ayshi holds up the paper they're holding, "I was sent for. The supervisors said there was something here that needed eyes from our archive on it. A possible crossover reel."

Tam smiles, "That, my friend, is because Agent Mobius figured out a way to get you down here. There's no reel. He just knew you needed to be here."

Ayshi's face shows incredible relief at the news, "It's been too long since I've seen you. Where are the others?"

"In the back room. Loki's there, too. I'll join you after I can strip off these clothes. I can't wear her blood all day."

Ayshi hurries to the work room to join their friends and moments later, Mobius walks through the door pushing a cart, "Did Ayshi make it?"

Tam nods, "Yes, they did. They're with the others." They look up to see what is on the cart. Bowls of cut fruit, a large carafe of water, glass cups, plates, and a stack of silverware. Something steams in an insulated pitcher, empty mugs clinking against one another beside it. A box on the bottom shelf catches their eye as well, sitting next to a stack of folded blankets. "What's all this?"

"A care package from me to you. I know it's not much, but-"

"Not much? Mobius, this is better than what we usually get for any of our meals. Is that pineapple?"

"Yeah. And some melons, peaches, grapes, berries, and maybe some other stuff. I don't know, I just told the kitchens to give me a ton of fruit salad."

"How? How did you get all this for us?"

He shrugs, "A few people in the kitchens owed me some big favours and I called a couple of them in." He pushes the cart to the desk and parks it, "Come on, Tam. You're almost done. Let me help so we can get you fed, too." He pours glasses of water and takes them to the work room, handing Loki a blanket for Iris. He then pulls out a small pile of washrags and towels, "You need somebody to gift something to you, too. A little rest. And I think she'd be OK with that."

Tam sighs, "Yes. She would. Please?"

He nods, takes off his jacket, tosses it on the desk, and pushes up his sleeves. Together, they finish the floor and he pulls out a bag they can toss the soiled rags in. He promises Tam he'll take the bucket with him and they won't have to deal with it.

Tam stares at their bloody clothing and slumps, "I can't keep wearing this, but...I don't have anything else."

"Yeah, you do." He hands them a shirt and pants, "I had to kind of eyeball the size, so I hope they'll work." Tam smiles and strips off their tunic and trousers, changing in the middle of the room. They toss their soiled clothes in a bag and Mobius sets it aside, "Go join your friends. I'll bring in things in a minute."

He hears Tam's sobs as they are folded into the arms of their family members already in the work room. He waits a little while before rolling the cart in and offering fruit, water, flaky pastries, and hot chocolate, serving things to whichever person asked for them, handing out blankets and asking often if they need anything else before going out to the desk and giving them some privacy before checking in on them again.

The paperwork on his desk can wait. These people need to be taken care of and Mobius knows it is the least he can do to alleviate the pain they've all felt at the hands of the TVA.