Lyra stood at the doorstep, hesitant to enter the Order Headquarters. She wasn't prepared to tell Sirius that last night would seriously never happen again, hear her brother throw their issues under the rug once more, or get rebuked by the Professor for her indecorous behaviour.

"Locked out?" The disembodied voice belonged to the eldest of the Weasley kids, Bill Weasley. He was the tallest of the Weasleys with a youthful face and long red hair that he liked to keep tied back behind his head in a low ponytail. His most defining feature was the fang he wore as an earring. She wondered about that. If anyone was to wear a fang earring, it should have been his younger brother, Charlie Weasley.

At any rate, it was a change from the last time she'd seen him, which, admittedly was a long time ago. He'd only been a second year when she graduated from Hogwarts. She wondered if he recognized her. Probably not, she was a Ravenclaw and he had been a Gryffindor, he had no reason to. The only reason she remembered him was because he was unusually popular, well-known even in the older years.

"No. Just, uh, gathering my thoughts. Sorry." She moved aside so he could get in. He eyed her, then the door, back to her again, and smiled easily before disappearing into the house. Order members would be coming soon, she should get inside. She didn't want to gather anyone's attention. That would be worse than facing the three people she least wanted to see.

She summoned her inner Gryffindor, and when that didn't work, she summoned her brother's inner Gryffindor, hoping to catch some of that bravery. Walking into the house was very anticlimactic. She didn't walk into dramatic proposals or half-hearted apologies or angry Potions Masters. To her surprise, she walked into a table that was full of people, conversations accompanying them. She looked to take a seat and, with a deep anxiety she felt acutely in her stomach, she realised that the only two seats available were the ones next to Mundungus Fletcher and Severus Snape. Fletcher, more commonly known as 'Dung,' smelled, just like his name suggested. She wasn't too surprised that seat was free. The Professor, his attention directly on her, would definitely take offence to her preferring Fletcher's company to his, which was really untrue.

She made her way to sit next to the man she made a fool out of herself in front of the last time she saw him. The first thing she thought was that he smelled just as he did the other day. Did he smoke? It would explain why his teeth were in such a condition. He couldn't be a heavy smoker, the cigarette smell wasn't at all strong. Rather, it hovered in the background, fusing his scent together. It smelled divine and didn't come with the headache she usually got from cigarette smoke. Maybe he just liked the smell. He was a potions master, after all.

The meeting ran long and the man next to her didn't say a word throughout it. She was having trouble concentrating. She wondered how he wasn't bored out of his mind like her. But, he seemed like the kind of guy who had the attention span of a god.

By the time the Headmaster was wrapping it up, her legs were dead. Sirius was also not-so covertly stealing glances at her, practically begging her to make eye contact with him. Remus's stare burned at her. He'd definitely try to find her afterwards. She, in a similar manner to Sirius, was glancing at the Professor whenever she got the chance. His face was completely free of expression- good or bad. It was frightening. He looked like he was miles away but he still nodded at the appropriate times so she knew he was still listening. How did he do that?

She forced herself to look away before anyone caught her, heaven forbid that they assume she had something of a crush on him. He just intrigued her, that's all. Her minor obsession with him would come to an end eventually and life could go back to normal, whatever normal was.

"Miss Lupin," his voice brought her back to reality. She looked up in confusion. Only Sirius, Remus, Molly, and Arthur remained in their seats. "If you are done wasting your time daydreaming, we have work to complete." He swept past her without waiting for a response. He sounded more annoyed with her than usual. She was really in for it, wasn't she? She awkwardly smiled at them and followed him, chasing him like a baby duck would its mother.

She expected him to reprimand her for her behaviour as soon as they were in private but instead, he merely started brewing, a bit quicker than usual. He voiced what he was doing so she could take notes. This final brewing session didn't consist of much- only some stirring and adjusting of the heat. "...this is very crucial, Miss Lupin. Make no mistake, one less stir, one degree too high, and this entire potion goes to waste, still. It may seem simple on paper but to believe that would be a mistake. You may go."

She couldn't come up with anything else to say, so she didn't. She hoped he'd call for her to do something else for him but he didn't. His head was down, his hair limp and framing his face so that she couldn't see it. "I will give this to the- your brother." She appreciated that he refrained from calling her brother that derogatory term. It was worse than calling him a 'werewolf' because the latter, at least, only proves ignorance, as long as it was corrected upon correction.

Maybe he didn't know just how terrible calling her brother a 'wolf' was. She wanted to give him the benefit of doubt, it would be hard for her to work with someone who would call her brother such a thing intentionally. She wasn't so strict on morals, honestly, had he called anyone else a 'wolf,' she could still allow herself to like him, but Remus was her family, and family meant more to Lyra than anything. Maybe it was wrong of her, but that was why she was a Ravenclaw and not a Gryffindor.

It couldn't be up to her to educate him. For peace's sake. Something stopped her before she could leave, a question that she really needed to be answered, "Hey, Professor? Were you actually listening to the Headmaster talk?"

A few moments of silence passed. She sighed in disappointment that he wasn't going to answer her question, about to go in embarrassment when he spoke, "And bore myself to death? I'm no masochist, Miss Lupin."

"But, then how…"

"Multi-tasking." She gave him a look that told him blankly that she wanted more than just that. "Body language, I've perfected learning it, hence, I know the perfect time to show my active participation even when it is being faked. No one thinks the better of it, except for you apparently."

"Oh," she blushed, "You just looked far away. Really, I couldn't tell, so no need to worry that skill is...being jeopardized."

"Duly noted."

"Bye, Professor. See ya later." Lyra walked with purpose. She was going to talk to her brother and hopefully get out of the house before Sirius could get her alone. Normally, she'd avoid him longer, but tomorrow was the full moon and she didn't want him to have to transform while still at odds with her. Well, not 'at odds' exactly, but they weren't on any sort of terms either.

"Lyra, there you are." She wasn't even surprised to find Sirius on the armchair beside him. It was as if those two were stuck together like glue. It made sense, their friendship had been broken due to the lies of a friend that had betrayed them and they were making up for lost time, but it was highly inconvenient for her. "Remus, hey. I just wanted to apologize for leaving how I did the other night. I didn't mean to worry you, I just needed time to think." She'd done her part, now was his turn.

"Of course, I understand. If you need anything…" Lyra appreciated the offer but she already knew she wouldn't take him up on it. Not unless they could work through this. Instead of acting like the older brother he was, he stuck to consoling her like a pair of reunited ex-friends would- with care yet an awkward distance. "Of course," she put on a fake smile, "How's Dad?"

"Fell right asleep after you...left. Haven't been back to see him since." Lyra felt a pang of guilt. What kind of children were they to leave their dying father alone for three days? What kind of daughter was she to be out, thinking about men when the person who was her role model growing up wasn't doing well at all? She made a mental note to visit him soon. "Oh, okay. Thanks. Umm, I'm just gonna go."

"Okay. Bye. See you later?"

"Yeah." She waved goodbye and left, confident that Sirius wouldn't try anything while he was near her brother.

Severus had every intention of going 'Professor Snape' on her. He got sidetracked. It was her own fault, she distracted him by asking him a question. It was his fault too for wanting to answer it. He was quite surprised that she asked. He wasn't oblivious, he saw that she had a tiny crush on him. It was why she kept looking at him throughout the meeting -which was so goddamn uncomfortable for him- and it was why she bothered making conversation with him. She also didn't shy away from him as others did. She was...nice to him, never treated him with any sort of disrespect even if he deserved it (which he probably did). As he said, he wasn't oblivious and, as a spy, he was good at reading people, he had to be. Just as long as her crush didn't grow into anything else, he was content to leave it be.

For whatever reason, he didn't have the urge to push her away. It wasn't the first time someone's had a crush on him, even if Potter would be hard-pressed to believe it. He wouldn't go so far as to say that he was desirable but he did have the bad-boy thing going on for him and some girls were just into that, at first glance. They went away as soon as he showed just how much of an asshole he could be. They were interdependent, one could not be a "bad boy" without being an asshole. And, no one truly wants an asshole unless there was something seriously wrong with them. Or if they were a masochist.

He didn't say that out of self-pity. No one should want an asshole and he would never deny that he was one. It's just the way he was. No one would ever change that, although many had tried, Magdalene being one of them.

He thought that's why they would never work out together. Magdalene wanted him to be something he wasn't. Not less of an asshole, she did like that about him, but something else that he wasn't capable of.

He sighed, not wanting to think of her again, an increasingly difficult task. He checked the time, realising that it was later than he had expected and headed to the Great Hall for dinner. It would be the last day of peace, the brats would be back tomorrow. All the better, he supposed. It would be easier to protect them while they were at Hogwarts instead of wherever they were at, gladly oblivious of the Dark Lor's return. Either that or they were just in denial.

He greeted several of his colleagues and took a seat next to the empty Headmaster's seat. Minerva, on the other side, gave him the cold shoulder. So she was still angry with him. He was drowning in self-hatred once he got back last night (not that he still wasn't, it just wasn't so fresh now). Minerva had caught him at a bad time and they were both paying for it now. He'd have to make it up to her soon.

Severus fidgeted with his food, unsure whether he should take the risk of eating. On one hand, he was so hungry he actually felt it. On the other, Severus sensed that the Dark Lord was going to call soon. Eating wasn't in his best interest even if his stomach tried telling him it was.

It's fine, it's not as if anyone had ever died due to starvation.

He vanished his food, not having to bother being subtle. The Headmaster wasn't here, Minerva wasn't happy with him so she wouldn't be paying attention, and the rest of his colleagues were occupied with their own conversations. It was somewhat peaceful, he amended. He didn't mind so much, the noise. It was miles better than the silence that made him feel as if he were going insane.

Was that normal?

He was past wondering if any of his behaviour was 'normal.' He was aware that there was something wrong with him, mentally. A chemical imbalance that made him want to end his life. That wasn't normal, not at all. As far as he knew, the normal population didn't feel this way. He did for whatever reason. Muggles called it depression, or suicidal behaviour. He called it wanting justice. He didn't deserve to live, was all. He could live with the pain, had done so for 35 years. Suicide was the cowardly way out and he was no coward.

What he did have was a moral compass. It made it so goddamn hard being a Death Eater since he really couldn't tolerate basically anything they did. He just wasn't a good person. No, he was a terrible person. He was no murderer but he'd watched his comrades torture innocent muggles until they were throwing up their guts and did nothing to stop them. He still didn't, he couldn't. Not without giving up his position. A person like that deserved to die and he was more than glad to do the job. Just as soon as his promises to Albus were completed. He was no liar.

Enough of these depressing thoughts, he ordered himself. Now was not the time nor the place, he'd save that for later when he would be more able to deal with them more adequately.