'It was a long time ago ... people change'
This is my attempt to give an explanation of what might have happened between Kara and Lee to cause such a rift in their relationship that they were barely speaking to one another by the end of the 'one year later' in the season finale. Spoilers for LDYB part 2. and possibly other episodes in season 2.ooooooooooooooo
"I need a favour." The voice was achingly familiar to Lee, but the tenor of it wasn't. She sounded ... weak, broken - like life on New Caprica wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Good, she deserves to suffer after what she did to me, he thought spitefully, looking over at Dee and seeing the cold anger on her face, even after all this time, at the thought of Kara wanting to talk to him. I haven't seen her in months, and still she has the ability to frak up my life. For the last time he'd seen Kara had been six months earlier, when she'd visited Pegasus. That had been what had caused the rift in his relationship with Dee. She'd been thrilled when Kara had decided to move to the planet, something that had surprised them all, but had been very upset with Lee when she'd decided to come and visit and he'd insisted on seeing her. She'd come to see his father, but had dropped by Pegasus, wanting to clear the air, make sure they were still friends after everything that had happened between them. Dee had told him to refuse, but he'd had to see her - she was Kara after all, and though things had gone horribly wrong in their friendship, they had been close at one time, and he couldn't stop himself from wanting to see her. To see if she was happy with the decisions she'd made.
One year ago ...
Lee had sat in his father's empty quarters thinking about what had just happened between him, Kara and Anders. He'd been so thrilled Kara had made it home safely, he'd made an immediate trip to Galactica to see her. He'd known he would be meeting Anders, and though he always felt a twinge of jealousy at the thought of the other man, he'd been prepared to like him. For Kara's sake. If she cared for him enough to risk her life to go back and save him, then he must be someone special.
He'd stood at the hatch door watching them - drinking, talking, flirting - then kissing. Kara was drunk, there was no doubt about that; Anders, he couldn't tell, not knowing the man; and she was obviously trying to lure him into bed with her. Well, that's her way, isn't it, he thought regretfully. Judging from Anders' response, it wasn't going to take long before they got there. He'd better go in now, before it was too late.
So he'd taken a deep breath and intruded on their privacy. Kara had been ... well ... Kara. Drunk, fun, flirty, loud ... all the things he'd found so much fun in her. Back when she was aiming them at you, that is, he'd reminded himself. Somehow he didn't find them nearly so funny now. But the straw that had broken the camel's back was when she asked if he was still frakking Dee. Even Anders had given her 'the look' that said she'd crossed the line. Time to get out before he said something he'd regret. Or puked at seeing them pawing at each other. To add insult to injury, they hadn't even noticed him leave. Neither of them.
But after thinking about it a long while (and giving them a chance to finish up), he'd decided to go back and talk to her again - alone.
The hatch was slightly open so Lee peeked in before entering. Kara was alone, and she was dressing, clad only in a bra and underwear. The room was hot, and smelled of sex.
"Must be an awfully good lay," he commented, leaning lazily in the doorway.
She swung round from her locker to face him, a look of surprise on her face. Lee advanced into the room and sat on the edge of the table. There was no mistaking the angry look on his face.
"I didn't have to go halfway across the galaxy to get a good lay. There are plenty of guys right here, ready and willing. Even if you're not one of them," she added spitefully, pulling on her Caprica Buccaneers sweatshirt. "But yes, he is."
She turned to face him, hands on her hips, defiant look on her face. But something about him disturbed her. The look on his face wasn't just anger at her nasty behaviour earlier. There was something else ... something familiar ... jealousy. That was it. A slow, nasty smile spread across her face. "You're jealous," she stated, throwing it out there to see how he'd react.
He snorted. "Yeah, right. Jealous of what? That oaf?"
"You are," she said, walking towards him. A look of amazement had replaced the smirk. "You really are, aren't you?" She laughed. "My gods Lee, you really can't seem to get it together now can you?"
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," he said angrily, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You may be frakking Dee, but it's me you want." She gave a triumphant smile. "And seeing me with Sam has really put your knickers in a twist, hasn't it?"
"You have such an ego Kara. It really is amazing." His voice was even and unemotional - obviously he was trying to regain control of his temper - but she could read his face like an open book. She'd hit home. Hard.
"I bet when you told me you hoped I'd find him that what you really meant was that I'd find him dead already." Her voice became bitter and spiteful. "And that I'd come crawling back to you to cry on your shoulder."
"I never meant that ..." he began, losing the battle against his anger.
"Spare me the explanation Lee, I really don't wanna know. You had your chances with me and you frakked them up. Did you really think I was going to wait around forever for you?"
But Lee had gotten stuck at the second sentence and never made to to the end of what she was saying. "What do you mean 'chances'? I only recall one," he demanded.
"How 'bout Colonial Day?" she spat out. He looked confused. "Why the hell do you think I dressed up that night? To attract Baltar? That pathetic little weasel had been aching to get in my pants from the moment he first saw me - I didn't need to show him I could be a real woman."
"You wanted me that night?"
"Obviously you didn't get that. Men, always so stupid." She shook her head. "You have to get right in their faces and make it plainly obvious for them." She turned back to her locker and pulled out a pair of sweats.
"Is that what you did with him?" Lee asked nastily. "Knock him out and drag him to your bed?"
She slammed the locker and turned to face him, hands on her hips. "I didn't have to. He's the one who made it clear he was interested in me." She gave him a pointed look. "Not everyone is afraid to stand up and be honest about how they feel."
"That's not fair and you know it."
"When have you ever been honest about your feelings for me?" she demanded.
"I told you I loved you when you came back from Caprica," he reminded her.
"And when I pushed you on it to see if you were serious, you tried to take it back." She advanced towards him, stopping a few paces away. "If you'd been ready to be honest, you'd have said 'yes, I love you Kara', not pretended it was my imagination."
"Well maybe if you hadn't acted so childish ..."
"Well maybe if you'd quit being a spineless frakhead ..."
Lee huffed angrily and walked the few steps to stand directly in front of her. "I don't know what he sees in you. Oh wait, I know," he added, eyes narrowing. "All he wants is a good lay, which, I hear, you are."
Her eyes narrowed right back. "You know nothing about him, about us, so don't you dare judge! Oh wait, that's what you do best, isn't it?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" he demanded, eyes narrowing further so they were practically slits.
"It means that you don't accept me the way I am! You always judge what I do and I don't measure up. I'm not good enough for you." The anger radiated off her in waves.
"When have I ever done that?"
"You always do!" she exploded. "I'm a slut who can't keep her pants up - I'm someone who's continually frakking up - unless I'm being a 'good' girl and following your orders, then I'm not worthy. Well that's not who I am! I'm not willing to be the 'perfect woman' who follows orders and does things your way all the time! Come to think of it, maybe Dee is perfect for you. Just go back to her and leave me alone." She faced him squarely. "I have someone who cares for me just the way I am, I don't need you. Just get out of my life. Get out of my frakking life Lee Adama, and stay out!"
They stood glaring at one another after she'd finished yelling, Lee trying to decide if she was serious or not. She was still drunk after all. But her eyes spoke the truth - she really didn't want him around.
"Fine," he spat out angrily. "Fine. I'll stay out of your life, but don't think you can come calling when you frak up again and need help." He turned and stormed angrily out the door.
Now ...
"Is that right?" he said dryly, all those thought of the past suddenly flooding back like a tidal wave. A battle began to rage within him. Say no you spineless frakhead! You told her - you warned her never to come to you for help after the way she treated you, and now here she is begging again. It's her fault, her problem that she picked the wrong guy and the wrong place to live. If she'd stayed here ... And he looked across the table at Dee, who'd put on her 'professional' mask. Things would have been much more difficult had Kara stayed. His father had planned to reassign her to Pegasus, when suddenly she'd dropped the bomb - telling them she'd decided to move to New Caprica with Sam. His father had been stunned, but Lee knew she was running away, and quite frankly welcomed it. Some nasty rumours about him and Dee had been spreading through what was left of Galactica's crew, and some of them had made their way to Pegasus. Lee knew Kara was behind them, and he also knew she'd make their lives hell if she was living on the same battlestar they were. He'd been relieved she was leaving.
"I hear that you're uh ... hoarding a bunch of antibiotics for the pilots."
"Where did you hear that?" Bitch! Who told her?
There was a pause, as though Kara was deciding whether or not to confide in him. "Anders is sick. He has pneumonia... Lee." Her voice was steady but Lee knew how well she was able to hide her feelings. "I think that he ... might die," she added, suddenly sounding vulnerable.
Lee's heart suddenly sank to the pit of his stomach. As angry as he still was at her, he didn't want Anders to die. He didn't want to be responsible for any more deaths. He looked over at Dee, absently playing with the finger her wedding ring used to be on - the wedding ring he'd given her months ago. Before Kara screwed it all up, he thought bitterly.
Six months ago ...
Kara smacked her shot glass on the table and downed it quickly, grimacing as the liquid burned it's way down her throat.
Lee laughed. "Why do you keep on doing it Kara?"
"Doing what?" she asked curiously, smiling at him.
"Drinking. You obviously can't stand the taste of it."
"Ah, but I love the way it makes me feel inside, all warm and fuzzy ... and hell, I haven't even seen alcohol in months. It's worth a little suffering."
Lee had lost count of how many shots she'd had, but her words were beginning to become slurred. "So, what is it like down there?" he asked.
"Cold," she answered immediately. "Cold and unpleasant."
"So why do you stay?" he asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
She looked at him as though he had two heads. "Because of Sam."
"He wants to live down there?"
Kara sighed. "He just can't stand being cooped up on a ship. He tried it for a few months but he was miserable - he needs space, open air, freedom ..." She waved her arms expansively as if to show him.
"Maybe you should have left him on Caprica then," he suggested, then felt bad for even thinking it, let alone allowing it to escape.
But Kara didn't seem to mind. "Maybe ... but you can't change the past. He's here now and well ... I guess I'll just have to live with it." She downed another shot and grimaced again.
He followed suit, and as soon as his glass hit the table he spoke. "You don't have to stay with him." It was a gut reaction and it slipped out before Lee had a chance to stop it.
She stared at him, as if in shock. "We're married."
"Married, not chained at the hip." Lee had had a few shots too many as well, and his tongue was loosening quite a bit more than usual. "You could leave him and come back here with us."
"Us, right. Back here with us." She smiled, but it was completely without mirth. "Not 'me' but us, because you are 'us' now aren't you?"
Lee looked at her curiously. "You knew we got married didn't you?"
"Yeah ..." She fiddled with her shot glass. "I guess you were still frakking her, weren't you?"
"It was always more than that," he replied, slightly angry with her for being so crude.
"Right, right, of course it was. Apollo would never just frak a woman, it had to be love," she said sarcastically.
"Oh, and you're one to talk aren't you? Why the hell did you marry that dumbass jock in the first place?"
Kara stood suddenly, knocking her chair over behind her. "How dare you? How dare you talk about Sam like that, I should ..." And she stopped talking and advanced towards him.
He stood as well. "You should what?" he demanded. "You afraid your husband can't handle someone bruising his ego?"
Kara lunged at him suddenly. She was known for hitting first and talking later, and alcohol only had a way of making that worse. Lee had had plenty of experience with her though, and knew it was coming. He blocked it and grabbed her hands, holding them tightly.
"Ouch, Lee you're hurting me!" she cried, but he didn't let go.
"Maybe it's payback time then, don't you think? You've hurt me plenty of times in the past, it's my turn." He squeezed a little harder.
"Lee! Please stop!" She was struggling hard now.
"Not so nice when you're not the aggressor is it? I bet you're used to being in charge, aren't you?" he said nastily.
"Yeah? And you married a doormat too didn't you?" she spat, literally wetting his face with a few drops of saliva.
"Don't you even start!" he began angrily.
She laughed evilly. "You're only with her because you can't handle a real woman."
Lee let go of her hands as though they suddenly burned him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's just as well you were never brave enough to pursue me." She advanced towards him, confident now that she was the aggressor again. "You couldn't handle me."
"Is that right?" Lee paused a moment and then out of nowhere grabbed her arms and propelled her backwards, pinning her to the wall and kissing her hard.
For a moment Kara was too thoroughly stunned to move, then she began to laugh. "Well, he does have guts after all," she mocked, and at her words Lee pushed even harder against her.
She suddenly gave in and began to kiss him back, wrapping her tongue around his and exploring his mouth fully. Lee groaned and let go of her arms, encircling her waist and pulling her close. She took that opportunity to lift her arms up and wrap them around his neck, threading them in his hair as she worked all her charms on his mouth.
Lee felt as though he was on fire. The memory of the one night they'd nearly spent together had never faded for him - the feel of her hands exploring his body, and her mouth devouring him with her fire still haunting his dreams even though he'd long since realized she would never be his and he had to move on.
Things grew very intense very quickly, as they had that fateful night nearly a year earlier, and before he was aware of what he was doing, he had her sweater off and one hand inside her pants and underwear, cupping her buttocks once again. She was still firm and well-muscled, the hard life on New Caprica offering her no reprieve from hard physical labour.
"What the hell is going on here?" came an angry female voice from the doorway.
Lee backed away from Kara in an instant, at a loss for words to reassure his wife that this was not what it seemed.
"My gods, I can't believe I was so stupid as to believe you!" Dee's face, which had at first paled slightly, was now flushed with anger.
"It's not what it looks like, Dee ..." he tried to explain.
"'Really." She cut him off. "Somehow I don't think that excuse is going to work. I can't imagine it being anything but what it looks like." Her voice was icy.
"We were fighting, and ..."
"Fighting? Is that what you call it?" she demanded. "Is this what happened every other time 'Apollo and Starbuck' fought? You told me nothing ever happened between you!" she said accusingly.
"Nothing ever did - I swear it!" The look on Dee's face said plainly that she wasn't buying it.
Kara pulled on her sweater nonchalantly, sauntering across the room towards Dee. "It's alright, he's all yours," she said condescendingly. Then in an aside, "he's not man enough for me anyway."
Lee's mouth gaped - he couldn't believe Kara was stabbing him in the back like this - again!
A final swish of her now long, blonde hair in the doorway and she was gone.
Dee stared accusingly at Lee for a minute, eyes filling with tears. "Nor for me," she said in a choked voice, pulling her wedding ring off and tossing it on the table, then spinning around and stalking out of the room.
No amount of trying on his part could ever convince her to trust him again. They hadn't divorced, but she had steadfastly refused to be with outside of work hours. Yet again, Kara had frakked up his life.
Now ...
Lee took a deep breath, wavering, warring within himself as to whether or not to help Kara. He sighed, ready to answer, when suddenly he was interrupted.
"Commander ..."
THE END