Title: "Willows!"
Author: vibienne
Category: CSR
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. No profit is being made, no copyright infringement intended.
Rating: T
Summary: Femmeslash! Catherine's thoughts on the morning after the night before.
Thank you everybody for your reviews and your advice on my other story. Your opinions and suggestions are much appreciated.
A very special thanks to my lovely beta, you are a superstar.
This was not going to be weird.
Catherine Willows stood in front of her bathroom mirror, about to put on her make-up and leave for work.
"It's not going to be weird!" she told her reflection before she started to apply her eyeliner.
She managed to concentrate for two seconds before she was hit by yet another flashback:
Sara taking the glass of wine from her hand and placing it on the table. Sara moving closer. Sara's lips almost touching her. The memory of the absence of any "stop"- or "we shouldn't" thoughts, her own hand finding Sara's neck, pulling her that tiny inch closer - kissing Sara!
"Willows!" She groaned at herself. "Get a grip!"
Catherine put the eyeliner back into her make-up bag and moved on to the eye shadow.
Her tongue in Sara's mouth, the feel of it all, the way it excited her beyond imagination…God, how did it even come to it?
Catherine knew that, as much as she liked to have constant control over everything in her life, she was repeatedly guilty of making ridiculously rash decisions. And this one could have easily been the stupidest one of them all, right? Kissing Sara. Not only kissing Sara, but also letting Sara kiss her…them kissing…and not only that…kissing like they really meant it.
"Willows!" She whispered, shaking her head.
They had been celebrating Nick's birthday. Nothing fancy, just a nice, civilized dinner. Catherine had volunteered to drive, and thus wasn't drinking. Sara was the last one to be dropped off.
"Hey, Catherine? Why don't you come up and have a glass of wine?" Sara had asked her, and because things had been so good, no, great between them lately, Catherine agreed to have just the one.
God, Willows, you never have just one, and you knew it. Catherine reminded herself, searching for her lip-gloss.
Fact of the matter was she wanted to hang out with Sara. They got on; they now teased each other about being so very different. Sara was much more relaxed lately, and Catherine could have sworn she saw Sara put on flirty eyes every so often. Like last night at dinner; they had sat next to each other, and Sara commented on the dress Catherine was wearing.
"This is a bit nice, Catherine!", had been her exact words as she touched the dress by running her hand up and down that part of Catherine's thigh the dress covered.
Willows, lip gloss! You do not need to think about Sara's hand on your thigh…or anywhere for that fact! Damn you, Sara!
Catherine knew she should have known better than to go up to Sara's apartment.
As Sara was opening a bottle of wine, Catherine had stood there watching her…remembering the many times she had thought Sara was cute and very attractive.
BUT it was like admiring a beautiful item of clothing or jewellery that turned out to be way too expensive to buy! And, Willows, you are always smart enough to put that back on the hanger. You don't just go and get it. Oh, Willows, what were you even thinking walking over to her, standing so ridiculously close you could feel the warmth of Sara's body giving you a sudden head rush. Yes, it was all fun and games, and now what have you done?
Sara, struggling with the corkscrew, had stopped what she was doing, and looked straight ahead, instead of at Catherine, saying," Okay, you need to step away, because you are making me nervous."
And then, for Catherine Willows, the game was on.
"I make you nervous? Since when?"
Sara Sidle shook her head slightly and quietly responded," Since…I don't know."
With that said Catherine stepped behind Sara and put her hands on the counter on either side of her. Catherine popped her head around to observe the corkscrewing procedure…, which still was not happening. They stood like that for a moment and it suddenly dawned on Catherine how much she enjoyed her new game with Sara.
Very slowly, Sara turned around and faced Catherine. She very quietly spoke, "Careful, Catherine." What she saw in Sara's eyes pinned her to the spot before making her push away. Catherine felt hot, Catherine felt dizzy, and Catherine felt flustered.
Willows, this has never happened to you!
"Glasses!" Catherine said and started randomly opening kitchen cabinets. By the time she had found them, Sara had opened the wine.
"I really need a drink now." Catherine said, reaching for her glass.
"I know the feeling." Sara smiled at her and gestured for Catherine to come across to the sofa.
And then things were normal again, weren't they? Except maybe for us exchanging long glances.
They must have talked for hours and laughed a lot before Catherine got up to search for candy. Having found cookies, she returned to the sofa.
"I usually never want candy, but when I drink…I shouldn't drink," She stated.
"I never want to smoke, except when I drink. I shouldn't drink, either, but then again, smoking kills you, eating a cookie will not. And you can definitely afford to eat one…maybe two," Sara said with a twinkle in her eye.
"Not three?" Catherine enquired and Sara playfully checked her out, "Yes, maybe three."
"Okay." Catherine said, sinking back into the sofa, breathing a sigh of relief.
"You aren't going to smoke, are you?"
"No." Sara let out a heartfelt laugh. "I can resist the temptation."
Catherine looked at her and, changing the subject on that little statement, it probably was the sugar rush from the damn cookie, Willows, sensually whispered: "You can?"
They held each other's gaze from opposite ends of the sofa and Sara finally said," Yes, Catherine; as a matter of fact, I have become an expert at it."
Oh, Willows, you should have left it right there. And did you? Hell no.
Catherine put her hand on Sara's lower leg, which was stretched out on one side of her.
Yes, so what, you were turned on by the possibility. Still, you could have left it.
"You know, Sara, sometimes it is worth giving into temptation." Catherine suggested in an almost advisory sort of way.
"Really," Sara asked, "You liked your cookies then?"
"Very much." Catherine smiled at her through half closed eyes. Oh yes, Sara Sidle was still ridiculously witty after a bottle of wine.
And Catherine just looked at her…no, Willows, wrong. You gave her the works. Flirty eyes all the way.
Sara opened her mouth as if to say something, but then put her empty glass of wine onto the table and slowly climbed over to Catherine's side of the sofa.
Only Catherine's glass was still between them when Sara whispered," Catherine, be very careful what you wish for."
Catherine never changed the look in her eyes, never broke eye contact.
Sara took the glass out of Catherine's hand and put it on the table as well. Their faces were only inches apart, and that was when Catherine grabbed Sara, causing their lips to, literally, crush together.
Oh, God, Willows, don't think about it.
The kiss was hot; no other way to describe it. Catherine couldn't remember the last time she was dizzy half lying down.
God, Willows.
Catherine put down her make-up bag and sat down on the edge of the bath.
"This is not going to be weird." She reminded herself, still felling last night's kiss. Her face was burning up, her heart was racing.
Just a kiss, Willows. Forget about it, blame the drink, and move on. No big deal. At all. Right?
Catherine took a deep breath and was out of the door five minutes later.
She was relieved about the fact that she had sobered up so dramatically quick last night; she was able to drive her car home. That way she didn't have to ask anybody to drop her off at Sara's apartment so she could pick it up before shift.
Why did the world feel different?
Catherine rolled down the window, deciding oxygen could only help.
She would see Sara in a few minutes.
Sara.
Catherine's hand flew to her lips.
Okay, Willows, get a grip right now. Just a kiss…for about an hour. Willows, you haven't ever just kissed anyone for an hour. Not even in high school. This is ridiculous.
She parked the car and made her way into the lab.
After a moment of contemplation, Catherine decided that walking tall with her head held up high was the only option…rather than looking at the floor, trying to avoid any form of eye contact for the rest of her life.
She turned a corner, and next thing she knew, Sara was coming out of the lay out room, reading a file.
Sara looked up, and both women stopped in their tracks.
Immediate head rush. Catherine could feel her heart thumping in her chest; she realized a shy smile was trying to spread across her face. Her pupils were probably the size of saucers by now. She felt so hot, like she was 16 years old again.
Sara smiled, and in her husky voice managed a, "Hi."
A few seconds that felt like days went by. Catherine quickly reminded herself to breath, and she finally let out a giggle.
She looked to the floor, pinched the bridge of her nose, and finally looked back up and into Sara Sidle's beautiful brown eyes.
God, did she want this.
Oh boy, Willows. You are in SO much trouble!