Seven

The echo of dripping water in the cave kept Clara awake while the rest of the world was fast asleep. She didn't know whether or not it was her imagination but it seemed as though her heart beat was now in sync with the dripping of the condensation in some unseen part of the room. As she stared at the grey stone ceiling she could hear a mouse scurrying under the bed, Clara sighed heavily as she thought /I won't be getting sleep tonight./

As she listened to the dripping water she was reminded that it was almost a year since she had last visited her parents grave. Clara didn't count the years that she had been without her parents, she found it ridiculous that people would actually celebrate something like a death. Her parents deaths only reminded her of the years of begging on the streets for food, having sex with a man just to have a room to sleep in. Clara wasn't proud of her past, but she wasn't about to deny it either. If she kept anything in her mind about what her father taught her was the fact that no matter what, you do what is necessary to survive. She had to grow up fast, far too fast in her opinion. But when both of your parents are dead you have no option but to grow up. Her mother Adeline didn't mean to leave her, she died from consumption; her father on the other hand, took the cowards way out. Clara didn't like sounding like that about her father; but it was how she felt. She felt a bitter sting when she thought of her father, how did he expect a young child to live on her own? Could he have honestly thought she didn't need him? She sighed in frustration and flung herself against her pillow and folded it up around her ears.

/I need to move on and get away from all this, all that I need in life is right here./ Clara thought to herself.

The thing she desired, was sprawled out on the bed next to her. Reaching with her hand, Clara brushed a lock of Erik's black hair out of his face, her fingers slightly grazing his white mask. When Erik slept he looked so peaceful, there was no trace of the tormented soul that she knew he had. The few candles that were still lit in the bedroom was casting shadows that danced across his chest to music that Clara could not hear. Naked to his waist, Erik breathed heavily as he slept. As Clara laid her head down on his chest her eyes slid shut as her body molded against his and her breath matched his own. She could feel his sweat dampen her face and she let her tongue slip out of her mouth to lick the corner of her mouth, taking in the salty taste. Clara herself was only wearing one of Erik's white shirts that he had offered to her to sleep in. The massive shirt was three sizes too big for her and as she laid there the material slipped off of one of her shoulders, exposing her bare flesh underneath. Her hair was pulled up by an array of hair pins, the underside of her hair clung to her neck from the sweat that layered her own body.

Erik had never been fully open to her about his past, but in fairness she hadn't been fully open either. But Erik did not have to tell his life story, all he had to do was look at you and you could see the soul of a man who had the same problem she did; having to grow up too fast, too young. His reasons though were very different than hers, but Clara could perfectly understand why he had shut himself away under the opera house. Truth be told if Clara had thought about it she would've probably have done the same thing if she could. But if they, together, were going to work; they both needed to move on from those demons that plagued their memory. For Clara she knew she had to put her parents in the past, and for Erik Clara was quite sure it was the memory of Christine that haunted him...

Her thoughts were interrupted as Erik began to talk in his sleep. Propping herself up, Clara pulled the shoulder of her shirt back up onto her own before it exposed what was underneath. She watched him as he mumbled to himself, rolling over in the bed, digging his face into his pillow. Clara placed a hand on his back, the sweat seemed to have increased in a matter of seconds, "Erik, wake up," he did not respond to her so she shook him a little, "Erik you're having a bad dream, wake up." Erik shot up out of his fitful sleep, gasping to fill his lungs with air. Clara went to pull him up when a small voice told her.

"No don't."

Clara took her hands off of Erik and looked at the back of his head and realized why he didn't want her to pull him up.

His mask had come off.

As he felt around the bed he could not find his mask anywhere and began to panic. He wanted to show her on his own terms, he wanted to be the one to take off the mask, he hadn't been given that chance before and so far she was willing to wait till he was ready. Erik heard Clara get off the bed, looking around on the floor, her feet slapped against the stone floor indicating that she was coming to his side so he immediately turned his face toward the opposite direction.

Clara found where the white mask had fallen and knelt down to pick it up. She looked up to see his back facing her and she sighed sadly, she couldn't even image what it must be like to view yourself as a monster. When she found the mask Clara didn't give it back to him right away; she wanted to see what he'd do. She couldn't deny that it hurt that Erik didn't trust her enough to be comfortable around her without his mask. /Maybe if I hold it away from him for a bit he would know that I'm comfortable with him not having his mask on./ Clara thought to herself.

Erik was beginning to panic, had she not found it yet? He tried to calm himself but he could feel his heart beating faster and faster every second he did not have his mask on. "C..Clara, did you find it yet?"

Frowning Clara put her hand over his back and held his mask out, "here it is Erik, I found it."Clara put her hand that held the mask across Erik and held the mask in front of him, making sure he knew that she wouldn't look. She felt his arm brush up against hers as he took the mask out of her hand and put it back into place. She waited a moment to make sure he was okay and then she crawled over his body and took her place by his side, "Are you alright?" She asked him, propping her elbow up on her pillow she put her head in the palm of her hand.

"Yes," Erik said so softly that Clara wasn't even sure if he had actually answered her, "did you see it?"

She wanted to cry at the sound of his voice, it was so small, so afraid. It wasn't the voice she had come accustomed to; that sultry voice that made her insides churn as he spoke to her. Placing a hand on his face she shook her head no and saw that he relaxed when she admitted she hadn't seen anything. Clara noticed Erik's hand go up to touch hers, but as soon as he thought it he put his hand back. Keeping her hand on his face Clara said, "Erik may I be honest with you?"

Swallowing hard Erik stammered out, "of course Clara, you can always be honest with me."

She smiled and locked her eyes with his and said, "I think you're beautiful." Leaning in, Clara kissed him softly on his lips and pressed her forehead against his, "I just thought you should know that." She rolled over on to her opposite side and yawned, "good night."

Erik laid back on his pillows as he felt tears rising up in his eyes. /I'm beautiful to her/ Erik thought with awe as he looked over to her and saw that she was quickly falling asleep. Rolling on his side he caught the shoulder of the shirt she wore with his index finger, he pulled it down, exposing her fair skin underneath. Leaning down he pressed a kiss into the crevice of her neck; as he nipped at her neck he felt an arm come up around his body. He pulled away to see Clara looking at him, neither said a word as they stared at each other. Clara leaned up and Erik graciously gave her a mouth crushing kiss, Erik felt her arms go around his neck and he scooped his arms under her body, lifting her up and allowing him more access to her mouth. Erik could feel Clara's tongue brushing up against his teeth and he relaxed his jaw and allowed her soft tongue to dance across his. Pulling away he felt the biggest smile start to grow on his face, "thank you." He whispered and Clara gave him a smile in return.

Clara went to run her hands up his sides when something came out of Erik that she did not expect.

A laugh.

She raised an eyebrow and sat up in bed, "Erik, you're ticklish?"

Feeling a flush rise in his cheeks Erik stammered, "no...no I'm not."

A mischievous grin came across Clara's face and she grabbed his sides again, which made him yelp. Struggling with him Clara had got herself up on top of him and continued tickling his sides. Erik's laughter only made her laugh harder and before she realized it, Erik had a grasp on her leg and he began tickling the inside of her knee. Gasping Clara tried to climb off of him but Erik grabbed her by the waist and pinned her down on the bed and remarked.

"Now who's ticklish?" Grabbing at her sides Clara shrieked with laughter as he tickled her without mercy. Erik noticed tears streaming down her face and he asked, "do you yield?"

"YES!" Clara yelled out as Erik climbed off of her and laid back down on the bed. He lifted his arm up as he felt Clara crawling under his arm and wrapping herself up against him. As they both began to fade Clara whispered, "it was good to hear you laugh." Before Clara fell asleep she felt Erik press his lips against the top of her head. Maybe, Clara thought to herself, things were going to be okay after all.

Erik woke up hours later to find himself alone in his bed. Only a few months ago, waking up alone wouldn't have been an issue, but now it startled Erik. Sitting up in the bed Erik scanned the room to find Clara sitting on the corner of the bed lacing up her tattered bodice. "What are you doing?" Erik asked, the question making Clara jump around.

"Erik!" Clara stammered, pulling her hair back, "you startled me." Smiling she stood up from the bed and walked over to where her cloak hung.

Feeling suddenly as if Clara was avoiding something Erik said rather sharply, "you didn't answer my question Clara." Clara turned back to Erik with a frown on her face, not fully understanding where this anger was coming from in Erik.

"I was hoping you would show me to the surface today," Clara said as Erik rose from the bed. "I wanted to go to my parents grave, try to clear some things in my head."

/During all of her time here Clara never spoke a desire to go to the surface, Erik thought to himself. "You sure its just to see your parent's grave and not something else?"

"What?" Clara stopped tying her cloak and turned to him. /What is he talking about/ "Yes of course its to see my parents. Why would lie to you Erik?"

Giving a shrug Erik said venomously, "everyone else does."

That was a slap in the face to Clara. Disgusted, Clara went to leave the room and Erik followed her with a walk that looked as menacing as he did at that moment. Realizing that Erik wouldn't let her out himself, Clara walked over to the lever for the gate and Erik hollered to her. "That was quite some act you put on last night Clara. I was fooled and I must applaud you for that, I am one that is not easily tricked."

"What?" Clara turned to face him, putting her hands on her hips, "You think what happened last night was an act?" Swaggering down the steps Erik kept his eyes locked with hers. Feeling tears threatening to rise Clara yelled, "how DARE you Erik! I have been nothing but kind and honest with you since you let me stay here. Every feeling or thought I have had for you has been sincere and true! You cannot say that what I said to you last night was an act!"

It was like Erik didn't even hear her. "I should've known that someone like you could ever see something like me more than a mere monster." Clara tried to protest but Erik continued, "you know I honestly even began to have feelings for you. Feelings that I thought I let go a long time ago. But somehow you tricked me into believing what I felt was something true. And now you are going to leave." As Erik rose the stairs to where Clara stood she felt herself instinctively going into a corner. Putting his arm up on Clara's side, Erik leaned into her and whispered "You're a little viper, Clara, its disgusting."

Before Clara could think, she took her hand and slapped Erik across the face. Seeing the anger rise in Erik she tried to run away from him and he grabbed her by the arm violently, making Clara cry out in pain. Erik flung her back against the wall and Clara tried to wring herself out of his hard grasp she screamed, "I'm NOT Christine, Erik!"

"But she left too!" Erik screamed in Clara's face, "She used me and left."

Clara, now with tears streaming down her face she said with a trembling voice, "but I'm still here." Something within the words that Clara spoke to Erik struck a nerve with him. She knew she was right, Christine had left him here alone and yet here Clara was staying with him willingly. As Erik kept a firm grip on her arm she wasn't quite sure if she was feeling his pulse or her own in his vice like hold on her. With a glazed look Erik recoiled his hand from Clara's arm as if it now burnt him and he turned away from her. Not exactly sure what had just transpired Clara went to follow him.

"No Clara." Erik said firmly, making her stop in her tracks. As he turned to face her, Erik saw the bruise already forming from grabbing her so harshly. Averting his gaze momentarily, Erik swallowed the bile trying to rise in his throat. Yes, he had tortured, killed and terrorized the world of man in previous years; but never in his life did he hurt a woman. If anything had stuck from his early years with his deranged mother, it had been to treat women like the treasures they were. "Clara you're right. You are nothing like Christine, but even after the months she has been gone I am not rid of her." Clara slowly made her way to his side and this time Erik didn't stop her advances. Reaching up with her hand Clara slowly ran her palm down his mask. Closing his eyes Erik knew that what he had to say next would hurt him like nothing else had before. "Clara, I. . .I want you to leave."

Clara's eyes widened with confusion and panic, "what? Erik, why? Is it something I did?" Erik turned away from her and she grabbed his arm, "Erik why do you want me to leave?" As Erik turned back to Clara she could see the depths of his sadness in his hazel eyes. Touching his face again Clara pleaded, "please Erik, let me stay here with you." Clara felt herself begin to cry, digging her face into his broad chest. She felt him wrap his arms around her and lay his head on top of hers. The only sound Clara could hear was the beating of his heart which seemed to have a song all its own.

All Erik wanted to do was to stand there and hold Clara. To tell her that she could stay with him in the cave. But he knew, and he knew that she also understood this, that he needed to put behind Christine. Erik knew that in order to give Clara the life that she deserved that he needed to find some way to end his obsession with Christine. He needed her to leave so he could handle this and not lash out at her again. Clara was everything to him and he wouldn't see her hurt on the account he couldn't let a false dream die.

But as Erik stood there and felt Clara's tears run down his bare chest he knew that he needed to assure her that he wasn't abandoning her. Everyone that Clara ever cared for left her, and the last thing he needed to do was to run away. Prying her off of his chest, Erik gently cupped his hands around her face and tilted her head up towards his. Taking one of his hands Erik wiped Clara's tears off of her face. "Clara, I need you to leave so I can put behind Christine. I don't want any anger from my past with Christine to harm you. I can't have that happen again," Erik took his hand from her cheek and ran his hand down the arm he bruised. "I'm not abandoning you. I just need time."

Clara nodded, she understood that he needed time to deal with his emotions and if leaving him for awhile is what he needed. She needed to be understanding enough to give that to him. "Erik where am I supposed to go?" Erik turned and walked over to his desk. Clara wrung her hands together as she watched him write down what she assumed was an address. As Erik walked back over to her, he handed her a piece of parchment.

"Do you know where this street is Clara?" Clara nodded and Erik smiled, "a friend of mine, a Persian by the name of Daroga lives there. He'll look after you." Putting the money in her hand, Erik added, "give some of this to him. It will hold you until I finish here."

As Clara clenched her fist around the money she asked him. "What do you intend to do Erik?" Erik gave her a knowing smile and whispered.

"Say goodbye." Taking Clara by the arm he pulled the lever to open the gate to his chambers. "Clara you need to take this main passage until you reach the fork near the end. Turn right and there will be a ladder that will take you to the old stables next to the Opera house." Erik watched Clara as she looked down the sewer with a fear that only rivaled his own when he thought of going onto the streets. Walking over to his desk he picked up his most prized possession and handed it to Clara, "here, so you know that I will come after you."

Clara looked down to what he held in his hand and let out a small sob. It was the monkey that she had given to him in their youth. Flinging her arms around him Clara gave him a mouth crushing kiss. Knowing that this was probably the last time she would be able to kiss him for awhile. Pulling away Clara cupped his face in her hands and whispered gently, "I love you Erik." Before Erik could respond Clara was making her way down the stairs to the boat. Looking back only once at him Erik mouthed the same words she had just said to him.

And as Erik's chambers fell out of sight Clara believed for the first time that everything was going to work out in the end.