hi Phil Fans. Here's Chappie 3. It might be a little corny, but I liked writing it. This one's more Phil's side of the story, so Chapter 4 will be Keely's take on the same situation, I think. Anyway, enjoy.
Chapter 3
After school, Phil walked to his house alone. Keely wanted to go home and change before the big event, and when he saw her walking up the path to the Diffys' front door a couple hours later, she did look great. Dressed simply in blue jeans and a bright pink sweater, Phil thought she had never looked better.
"Hey, Phil," Keely said excitedly. "You like?" she twirled around to give him a better view.
"Uh, yeah, you look... perfect," he said, flushed. "You look comfortable, too, which is a big part of the whole kissing thing. You want to be as comfortable as possible."
"I know!" squealed Keely. "That's why I thought jeans. I love jeans. These are new. And I moisturized and brushed my teeth like fifteen times. And I got new perfume just for this occasion. It's called 'Kiss Me'—isn't that perfect?" She held her wrist under Phil's nose. Keely's eyes darted around the room. "Well, where's the lucky man?" she said.
"Who?" said Phil, dizzy from breathing in the perfume.
"The replicate, Phil. Hello?" Keely said.
"Oh, right, sorry," Phil said. "Well, I haven't replicated anyone yet. I thought you should tell me what you're looking for, you know, in a guy... to kiss..."
"Well…" Keely though, scratching her head. But before she could describe anyone, Barb walked into the living room.
"Oh, hi Keely," she said.
"Hi, Mrs. Diffy. Did Phil tell you he's helping me with—" Keely asked.
Phil interrupted. "School. I'm helping her with school. Math. Big numbers. Great big ones," he said, motioning for Keely not to say anything.
"Well, that's my Phil. Always lending a hand," Barb said. "Are you staying for dinner, Keely? I can set another place at the table."
"Sure, Mrs. Diffy, that would be great," Keely said. "What was that about, Phil?" she said after Barb was out of earshot. "Why can't your mom know? She knows all about replicates."
"I don't know, Keel, I just..." Phil floundered. Barb knew all about Phil's feelings for Keely. His mother was the only one who he could talk to about it, and she thought Phil should have said something to Keely ages ago. But he really didn't want her involved with this kissing thing. "Well, she's, you know, old..."
"Whatever, Phil," Keely said. "Let's get this show on the road. Come on." She grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his room. She sat down in his desk chair and began skimming magazines, looking for potential replicates. Phil sat on the bed, the replicator in his hands.
"You understand that the replicate will be exactly who's in the picture. So if it's an actor, say, dressed in an alien suit, then the replicate is an actor in an alien suit," Phil explained. "Unless you replicate a real person, like someone in this room, then you won't get the actual person... and even if you did, a replicate can't think for himself. He's not much more than a robot. Does that make any sense?" There's no way she's going to just think of replicating you, Diffy. Look at her going through those magazines.
"Yep... found him," Keely said. She held up a picture of Johnny Depp dressed as a pirate.
"Keel, if I replicate him, you're gonna wind up kissing a pirate. Look at him. He doesn't look like he's had a shower… ever. And I think he's missing some teeth," Phil said.
"So? Johnny Depp as a dirty, toothless pirate is better than no Johnny Depp at all. Replicate him, Future Boy, I don't have all day," she said, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.
"Well, should we discuss technique at all? Form? Breathing? Nose position?" Phil offered. He thought if he could get Keely's mind off of Johnny-Depp-as-a-pirate, maybe she'd get sidetracked and forget him altogether. "Wait, hang on a second."
Phil left the room and came back a moment later with a teddy bear.
"This is Pim's bear, Dennis," Phil said. "Maybe you should get acquainted with him before the real thing. Huh?" He wagged Dennis in front of Keely's face. She took him from his hands, reluctantly.
"Phil, this is kind of corny, don't you think?" Keely said, looking at Dennis disgustedly. Pim had received Dennis on her third Nirday, and he was pretty shabby.
"Well, what if I make him bigger, you know, so that at least you're about the same height?" Phil offered, shrugging.
"Okay," Keely said with a sigh.
Phil zapped Dennis with the Wizard and suddenly Keely was holding a nearly-six-foot stuffed bear.
"Kiss him," said Phil, grinning.
"Phil... this is just not what I had in mind," Keely whined. "Do I have to?"
"Keel. Do you want to be an expert kisser or not?" Phil said. This would be so much easier, Diffy, if you just took her in your arms and made it happen, once and for all, Phil thought. She does look pretty ridiculous with that bear. "Just do it once, Keel."
Keely shut her eyes and leaned in and kissed Dennis, then looked over at Phil, who was on his back laughing.
"Phil, stop it. Phil. I'm serious. Stop it," she said, frowning. Phil kept laughing. "Stop it now and replicate Johnny for me."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Keel," Phil said, out of breath. "I just wish you could have seen how serious your face was." Phil shrunk Dennis back to his normal size and aimed the Wizard at the magazine photograph of Johnny Depp in a pirate getup. "Okay, Keel. This is it. Are you ready for your life to change?" Phil teased her.
"Phil, I think you're trying to delay this whole process. You're the one who came up with this plan, so you'd better cooperate," she said firmly. Phil scowled and pressed some buttons on the Wizard. He wanted the whole thing to be over with as much as Keely did. He couldn't bear to watch her kiss Johnny Depp, though, so he figured he'd let them have some alone time. There was a flash and then there he was, Johnny Depp himself, standing on Phil's bed.
"Argh," Johnny said.
"Uh, hi, Mr. Pirate. I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Keely," Phil grabbed Keely's hand and yanked her toward the bed. "Keely, this is Mr. Pirate."
"Hi, Johnny," Keely said. She held out her hand.
"Name's Captain Jack Sparrow," Johnny said.
"Now, why don't you two get to know each other," Phil said. "Keel, I'm just gonna go check on something. You think you can handle this?"
"I don't know, Phil," Keely said. By this time Johnny the Pirate was picking his teeth with a short knife that had been fastened to his belt. "He's kind of old, don't you think?" Keely eyed Johnny uneasily.
"Old?" Phil asked. "So you'd like to go younger?"
"Well, I just hadn't really considered age, but now that he's here, it's a little, you know, gross that he's so old," she said, furrowing her brow. "Zap him back."
"If you say so," Phil said. He took the Wizard from his pocket and aimed it at Johnny Depp. "Captain Sparrow, I'm afraid I have to send you back to your, uh, ship," Phil said.
"My dear girl," Johnny said to Keely, "It never would have worked between us." And he grinned devilishly. Phil pushed the Wizard's buttons and the pirate was back inside the magazine, safe and sound.
Keely sat down on Phil's bed. "Maybe this is all just a bad idea," she said, pensively. "I should just relax and let things happen as they happen. Right?" She looked at Phil. Gosh, she's pretty, he thought. Keel, he wanted to tell her, I can do it. I can kiss you. For practice.
"I don't know Keel. Maybe it would be better as a surprise. That way you don't have to worry about it. It'll just happen, you know?" Phil said. He hated seeing her so distraught over something that should be a happy experience.
"Yeah," Keely said. "I want it to be with someone I really like. Someone I trust. Someone I'm totally comfortable with. Someone who won't, you know, think I'm weird cause I've never kissed anyone before." She picked up Dennis the bear and nervously twiddled one of his ears with her fingers.
Phil took a deep breath. "Keel?" he said, turning toward her.
"Yeah?" she said. She looked into his eyes hopefully.
"What about…" He stammered.
"What about… ?" she said.
"What if I replicated… myself?" he said then he leaned back and looked at her, trying to read her expression. To his surprise, a smile crept over her face. "I mean, it wouldn't be me, exactly, but it would you know, look like me, and we're best friends, and so, it would be comfortable for you, I guess…"
"Are you sure, Phil?" she asked, tucking a stay hair behind her ear. "Because that just may work."
"Yeah, it's no big deal…" Phil said. He stood and aimed the replicator at himself. It's the next best thing, right Diffy? He thought. At least this way she's not kissing any other guys. This may be as close as you ever get.
In a swirl of gold light, Phil 2 appeared, identical to Phil number one. Keely looked from Phil 2 to Phil 1. "This is freaky, Phil," she said.
"I know… we don't have to do this, Keel, if you don't want to…" Phil 1 said.
"Do what?" said Phil 2.
"Kiss Keely," said Phil 1.
"Who's Keely?" Phil 2 asked.
Phil 1 rolled his eyes. "See what I mean?" he said to Keely. "He's only a lookalike. We don't share anything more than that. So, there's no, um, feelings, or memories, or personality at all, okay?"
"Okay," Keely said. She looked at Phil 2. "So what should I do with him?" she said back to Phil 1.
"Well, just kiss him," he said.
"But, I mean, how?" she asked.
"Keely, put your lips on mine—I mean Phil's—you know, and close your eyes, and just do it," Phil said.
Keely closed her eyes and puckered her lips. She leaned over to Phil 2. Then she stopped, opened her eyes, and looked at Phil 1. "I can't do this, Phil," she said. "Not with you watching."
"Okay, I'll, um, give you two some time alone…" he said. "I'll just go downstairs…." Phil 1 stood and left his room, with Keely and his replicate sitting side by side on the bed. He shut the door behind him, hesitated, and opened it a crack, peering through. Keely's lips were puckered up again, and she was leaning toward Phil 2. Phil couldn't bear it, so he shut the door again and sat down on the floor.
How can I be so jealous of myself? He thought. She's so amazing looking when her eyes are closed like that, with her hair falling around her face… Phil pressed his ear against the door, trying to listen for any sounds. Silence. He wanted to scream or to jump up and go in his room and knock Phil 2's lights out. Can't do that, Phil. Got to focus. Let her get this thing done. Then you can try for yourself. Maybe the replicate's a good kisser. Maybe she'll be all over you after this is finished. He pressed his ear to the door again. Nothing. He looked at his watch. Five minutes gone. It seems like it's been a year since I left them in there. Only five minutes?
Phil daydreamed about the first time he met Keely. He tried to decide when he'd fallen for her. It happened like rain. Like little drops of water, he thought. A drop at a time until he had found himself soaking wet and standing in a puddle, mad for her. This wonderful adorable girl. Who was in his room this minute kissing his replicate. Five more minutes passed. He pressed his ear on the door again. This time he heard footsteps. Then the door opened and Phil was suddenly sprawled out on his back in the doorway, looking at Keely upside down.
"Hey, Keel," Phil said, blushing. "I was just, um, waiting here… on the floor, for you, you know…"
"Hey, Phil," Keely whispered. She was trying to suppress a grin. Her face was flushed and Phil thought her hair was disheveled somewhat.
Phil glanced over at Phil 2, still sitting on the edge of the bed. He had a sleepy look on his face. And lipstick. It had happened. Keely had finally kissed a boy. And that boy had been Phil. Sort of.