Sunday, February 28

Matt

Something was up with him. Although Matt pushed it off yesterday, whatever it was, it was still bugging him. Matt tried to push those thoughts away. He didn't know TK well enough to make any conclusions.

TK turned to the door, getting ready to leave again. Matt didn't know where he was going, but that didn't matter. He sighed, making his way to his brother's side.

He had to know why he did what he did on Friday.

Matt tapped his shoulder. TK jumped. Matt flinched. He didn't mean to scare him. TK turned to him. When he saw it was Matt, he blinked.

"Something up?" he asked while he reached for his coat. Matt sighed, pushing past the nerves as he played with his hands.

"This might be a bad time, but can I talk to you later?" TK paused for a minute, eyeing him curiously. Matt shifted his weight. Why was this so awkward?

Then again, what did he expect? He said two words to TK yesterday, and it was this bad. Why did he think a conversation would go any better? TK was silent for a moment as he looked down, not meeting Matt's eyes.

"Sure. When?" Matt almost jumped. He hadn't expected him to agree.

"When you get back?" Part of him wondered if he was pushing it. Two conversations in a day for them was a lot. Hell, this was the most they talked in years.

"See you then." TK replied, finally looking at him. His expression was unreadable, which Matt was a little frustrated at. If he could read him, he'd know what to expect. More or less.

"Sounds good."

"Okay," TK said, nodding. He turned back to the coat rack, slipping his coat on as he waved to Matt. "Bye."

"Bye," Matt replied. TK made his way out of the apartment, and Matt watched him leave. Although he felt a little more at ease, he knew things had to be said. He wanted to fix things, at least to the point it wasn't awkward.

Matt turned away, walking over to the couch and sat down. TK might hate him, he probably did by now. Matt wanted to change that. It was too much to ask, Matt knew that, but he wanted things to be okay between them. A conversation shouldn't be that awkward.

He wanted things to change; he didn't want to be miserable anymore. At this point, he wanted to sleep well for once. If his friends knew when he wasn't okay, as selfish as it sounded, they could help. He didn't plan on begging for help or anything, but he felt a lot better knowing he had support.

He didn't have to hide anymore. He didn't want to do this anymore. The least he could do for himself is work his way back to somewhat normal behaviors.

Matt didn't want to change everything, but he did try to sleep last night. It ended in him having a nightmare, making him tense every time he thought about it. The closet was always scarier in his dreams.

But Matt didn't want to fight it alone anymore. Even though he didn't think he and TK would ever be friends, that nagging guilt didn't help him in any way. He wanted to make things right, for both their sakes.

He might have been looking too far into it, but he doubted TK liked the awkward tension between them. If they could at least tolerate each other, he'd be happy.

His biggest challenge will be finding a way to cope. Matt hated change. With as much as this was going to bring, between his attempts to be more honest with people and sleep, that was a lot. He had no idea how he was going to deal with it.

Matt sighed. This wasn't the time. He had to focus on one thing at a time, for the sake of his sanity. Too much would make it all fall apart, and his struggle, albeit short lasted right now, would be for nothing.

A few hours had passed and TK hadn't come back yet. Matt didn't think too much of it, it had only been a few hours. He spent most of his time pacing in his room, dreading their conversation and trying to figure out how to move on.

Thinking of a way to cope was the toughest part. Matt knew it wasn't going to be easy. He needed something to rely on. What that was going to be, he decided, time would let him know what worked.

Matt had been at this for a while. It wasn't until there was a knock at his door that he finally left his thoughts. He turned to the door, seeing Nancy stand in the doorframe.

"Hi," she said. Matt offered a small smile, at a loss of what else to do. He shifted, placing his hand on his upper left arm. Okay, making things less awkward with others isn't going to be easy. Nancy looked back at Matt, after both of their silences. "You haven't heard from TK, have you?"

Matt shook his head. It's not like he had a way to contact him, he didn't have a phone. Even if he did he doubted he'd have his number.

Nancy nodded, and he heard a small sigh. He looked up at her, she wasn't looking at him. Matt tensed up as silence filled the room again. Worry tugged at his chest, was something wrong? Is that why she was acting like this?

"I can go look for him if you want," he said, instinctivly. Nancy looked back at him, thinking it over. He cringed, in hindsight, that wasn't the best thing to say. He was never allowed to leave before, why would he be now?

"You don't have to," Nancy replied, looking at him, "unless you want to." Matt cringed. He dug himself in a hole this time. He saw how worried she was and would feel bad if he said no, but at the same time, was too scared to say yes. But she wouldn't give him the option to leave if she wasn't okay with it, right?

"Do you know where he went?" Nancy nodded, motioning with her head behind her.

"Down to the park," she replied. Matt nodded.

"Alright, I'll go."

Nancy smiled. "Thanks, Matt." Matt nodded, making his way past her and out the door. A small part of him was guilty for how quick he left, but he didn't want to risk their encounter becoming awkward.

Matt made his way out of the apartment building on his way down to the park. They walked past it every time they went to school, so Matt was confident it wouldn't take too long to find him.

He strode down the sidewalk, a small burst of confidence shinning through. It didn't take him long to find TK, considering he hadn't made it to the park. TK had been walking on the sidewalk when when he saw him. Matt stopped, that confidence left him.

No. No, it was fine, he'd be fine. They didn't have to say much. He made his over to TK, catching his attention. TK looked up and blinked before tensing and walking over to him.

"Hey," Matt said. TK waved apathetically.

"Everything okay?" TK asked. Matt looked at him and nodded before kicking some of the dirt on the sidewalk. They were off to the side so they wouldn't be in anybody's way.

"Mhm. Mom was getting worried so I came to look for you." TK nodded. For a second Matt thought he was going to laugh; he didn't. He wasn't sure what to make of it so he ignored it. TK glanced in front of him, looking out at the cars passing by.

"I was just on my way back." Matt nodded, not knowing how to reply. Something told him TK was having trouble with that too. Matt turned to the direction of the apartment.

"In that case we should get back." He imagined that TK nodded, he heard him start walking behind him. The rest of the walk back was quiet, although it was a comfortable silence, surprisingly.

It didn't take long for them to get back. Matt hadn't gone far before finding him. Matt kept his eyes glued to the sidewalk, keeping a subtle but noticeable space between them.

He finally glanced up when they made their way back to the apartment in silence. By the time they got to the elevator and made their way out of it, TK strode ahead of him. It caught him off guard when he passed him. He had forgotten that TK was taller than him. Although it wasn't much, he still was.

They made their way to the door, TK reaching up to open it. Matt blinked, noticing a small pool of blood that was on his jacket sleeve. Matt tensed.

"You're bleeding," Matt pointed out. TK jumped and put up his hand defensively.

"I'm fine. It's just a little cut," he said quickly. Matt looked down, a twinge of concern shining through. He wasn't convinced, that was his excuse to hide injuries for years, but he didn't push it. Instead, he nodded murmuring a small okay as TK walked inside.

He watched him, briefly remaining outside of the apartment. It didn't hit him until now how much he had changed. Although, Matt couldn't tell if it was for better or for worse, but he wasn't the same kid he had been years ago. People change over time. Matt sighed, he wasn't prepared for that. He wasn't expecting TK to be older.

There was one time he fell and scraped his knee at a store. Their parents hadn't noticed, they were arguing about something. TK had ran straight to Matt, trusting him more for comfort. He had calmed down completely by the time their parents had stopped. They hadn't noticed at first because TK was calm, staying near Matt the entire time. He felt safe near him, knowing someone paid attention.

That was one of the things that got him through the harder days, knowing somebody needed him. His little brother needed him. He didn't anymore. TK grew up, and he had gotten through everything without him anymore.

Maybe it'd be best to let him continue to do that. Matt hated change, who was to say TK didn't too? Matt sighed and walked inside the apartment, it was time to move on. TK clearly had, and he was happy without him, so they didn't need to talk.

Right?

TK

TK stared off into space while he waited for them to arrive. He had arrived at the park a few minutes ago, having sat on a bench as he waited. As he did that, he stared off into space, watching everyone else walk around, going about their days.

Though he was alone, he didn't let his mind wander. He didn't want to get emotional before they got there. If this conversation was going to help anything, his thoughts couldn't get in the way. That could lead to things getting worse.

TK held a sense of dread. He had no idea what was going to happen today. He hoped they'd trust him, at least a little.

"Hey." TK perked up, meeting Kari's eyes. He looked back down, avoiding her glance.

"Hi," he replied. Davis stood awkwardly behind her. He didn't look at TK. Part of him wondered if he was on his side. Davis never said it out loud, which he could understand. Maybe he was in the middle. Either way, whoever he believed, TK hated that he was making him the middleman without trying.

Kari sat down beside him, following his gaze in front of them. Davis sat down too, staying silent as well, a weird thing for Davis.

TK looked down at his feet, the ground wet from the melted snow, a few patches still surrounding the park. They were in the awkward season transition where the weather was always crummy.

The group's silence continued for a while. TK decided to let Kari start the conversation since she was the one who wanted to have it. She said nothing for a few minutes, playing with her sleeve.

"I'm sorry," she said, followed by a sigh. TK glanced over at her, but she still looked at the people in front of them.

"Why? You don't need to apologize," he replied. Kari looked down at her hands.

"I didn't mean for Yolei and Cody to get involved," she said. TK bit his lip, looking away from her.

"It's alright." Kari shook her head.

"No, it's not-"

"It is. I'm the one who upset you. They wanted to defend you. It's fine, Kari, really." She wasn't the one who had to apologize. It was him. He'd been pushing her away, not the other way around.

"You never upset me," Kari replied. The two made eye contact and sat there for a moment. "What makes you think you did?" TK sighed, pulling out his phone, looking for a specific text from Aiden. He showed it to Kari and let that do the talking. Kari took his phone, reading the text over. TK looked down at his hands again.

"He called you worthless?" Kari asked after a brief silence. TK flinched.

"That's not important. I just want to know if I upset you."

"It is important," she replied. "How long has this been going on?" she asked. Her voice was softer this time. TK's heart dropped. He'd hoped she'd gloss over that part.

"Too long," Davis said. The two turned to him. "He refused to say anything." TK didn't reply. Kari gave him his phone back, and he took it, putting it in his pocket.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Kari asked, turning to him. TK shrugged, avoiding her glance. TK knew why, but he wasn't going to say it. He didn't want to worry her anymore than he had been, and there was his fear of retaliation. TK didn't know how Aiden would react if he found out Kari knew.

"You were happy," he said, "and you got mad any time I hinted at it." Kari sighed and TK stood up as he mumbled a quick goodbye. There wasn't anything else he could say. He walked away before Kari grabbed his arm. TK winced, hissing in pain. She didn't notice.

"How could I be happy with someone who said that to my best friend?"Out of the corner of her eye, TK saw Davis stand up.

"There's more to it than that, Kari," he said. TK turned around, breaking free from Kari's grasp.

"Davis," he warned. Davis turned to him but said nothing.

"That's why you kept warning me, wasn't it?" TK still didn't reply. Sure, he wanted Kari to leave Aiden, but she knew more than he felt comfortable with. He shuddered. "TK?"

He turned away from her, crossing his arms. "I didn't want you to get hurt." TK kicked a rock in front of him. "Regardless, just be careful with him, okay?" He turned back to Kari, but Kari looked away.

"I'm not staying with someone who treats anyone like that," she said, "especially you." TK tensed. Why did it matter if it was him? If he didn't care, why did she? TK sighed.

"You don't have to-"

"TK, shut up and listen to her," Davis snapped. TK looked over at him. "It's best if we all get away from him." TK sighed, looking down at his wrists. His sleeve had a little blood on it now, not enough to be too noticeable, though.

Kari placed a hand on TK's shoulder, catching him off guard. He jumped before looking at her again.

"You didn't have to hide this." You don't get it. TK nodded. It'd be better to go along with it. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. Whatever was going to happen next scared him. Je wanted to go home, hide, and never come out.

Aiden was going to be pissed.

It didn't take long for their conversation to end. Kari went back to her apartment and Davis and TK were returning to theirs. Davis's was a few blocks away from TK's, so they walked together.

Davis had told Kari what was going on, despite TK asking him not to. Although, he felt better knowing he didn't have to hide it. Well, he was still going to; he had caused enough problems.

While they walked, Davis tried to get him to talk. TK had been quiet most of the day, trying to end the conversation as quick as possible.

Davis stopped walking. TK looked up. He had his arms crossed, and he had been following Davis most of the walk, staring down at the sidewalk the whole time.

"Why the hell-"

"TK," Trent called. TK tensed up and looked ahead of him. Trent walked towards them. Why is he here? He lives on the other side of town. "Here, take this." TK blinked at him as Trent handed him a piece of paper. TK didn't take it, keeping his arms crossed defensively. "Please? Actually, never mind." Trent said, walking past TK. "See you later, dweeb."

TK blinked again, watching him leave. Trent turned a corner, so now he was out of view. He wasn't as scared around Trent; he was never the main offender. Recently, he seemed to defend him. If the last comment was an insult, it felt forced.

"What was that about?" Davis asked. He looked up at him and shrugged.

"No idea."

Davis rolled his eyes and looked back at him. "That was rhetorical."

"You know what that means?" TK asked, chuckling. Davis slapped his arm playfully.

"Oh, shut up," he joked. The two laughed as they walked towards their apartments. They were at Davis' in a matter of minutes. After saying a quick goodbye, TK turned down the sidewalk and started walking back.

He had been gone for a decent amount of time, so he quickened his pace. He doubted Nancy would be too worried if she was even home. Still, he wanted to get home fast, just in case.

It didn't take long for TK to get lost in his thoughts. After about five minutes of walking, he had almost made his way home. He glanced up, and he blinked. Is that Matt? TK continued to look in that direction for a while. Yep.

TK sighed, making his way over to him. He knew he wanted to talk about something, but he didn't expect it to happen in the middle of a sidewalk. That, and he didn't have the energy.

"Hey," Matt said. TK gave a soft wave. He studied Matt, who was doing his best to avoid looking at him. He looked anxious. TK sighed again.

"Everything okay?" This made Matt look at him before nodding.

"Mhm. Mom was just getting worried, so I came to look for you."

"I was just on my way back." TK said, trying to bring himself back to the conversation. Matt mumbled something about going back, and TK nodded, following along. He stayed behind him, keeping distance between them.

It had been about a three-minute walk before they got to their apartment. Subconsciously, TK was thankful. Although this 'walk' had been less awkward than the ones to school, by a lot, it was still uncomfortable. Not to mention whatever Matt wanted to talk about. He wasn't sure if that was still happening.

Regardless, when they finally got to the door, TK was relieved. He wanted to be alone for a bit, clear his head. After leaving the park, he planned on reading a little to focus on something else.

"You're bleeding," Matt said, pulling him out of his thoughts. TK pulled his hand from the door.

"I'm fine. It's just a little cut," he replied. It wasn't a lie, at least. TK sighed, making his way inside. He didn't look at Matt, though when he got inside Nancy said something to him. He smiled to be polite.

She said nothing after that, which TK was thankful for. As long as she didn't think anything was wrong, he'd be okay. It was becoming a lot harder to keep things a secret; he wasn't sure how to feel about that.