I don't fear the unknown. I fear that what I do know is all that's left. – Stephen C. Hogan.

The only thing you should feel when you shoot your enemy is the recoil from your rifle. - US Marine Corps saying

Chapter 5 – UNC: Uncharted Territory

"You are breaking so many Alliance regulations by now."

I looked up to Ashley and matched her amused expression with a lopsided grin of my own.

"But ya have to admit it – I'll do it with style."

She snorted. Garrus chuckled briefly. I kept grinning while I checked my equipment, but the tension in the air was weighting too heavy on us to relax.

A few hours earlier, the NORMANDY had reached the Farinata-System and, after just a little bit of searching around we found the ONTARIO close to the systems asteroid belt. It hadn't answered to Joker's hails and refused every other attempted communication. So, with noticeable hesitation, Shepard had ordered us to gear up for a boarding attempt.

It had come both as a relief and kind of a shock – finally the first mission, but, yeah, the first mission. Up to this point things were relaxed, sort of – now it became serious. There was a tense silence on the C/E deck while we dressed up. Then Shepard came down to us – already fully equipped – and split us up into an assault and one back-up team. The assault team – consisting of Shepard, Kaidan and Garrus - would go in first, attempting negotiation and ultimately getting the hostage out, one way or another. The rest, led by Ashley, would stay just outside the airlock and cover their retreat with the hostage in case things went south.

I had hopes it didn't... because if I remember correctly from my own playthrough, after the initial firefight, either Shepard gets the hostage out by negotiation or the chairman gets killed. Plus, fighting against a complete crew of biotics, especially this early … well, I somehow made it work in-game, and I'm sure Shepard is better in playing Shepard in Mass Effect: The Real Life Edition than I am.

Why is it that I always make those horrible plays on words when I shouldn't?

Anyway, we were now assembled next to the airlock and the NORMANDY was already preparing the boarding. Considering that the NORMANDY's not supposed to do anything like that, I'll have to give Joker some credits for maneuvering us this close. Our helmsman didn't look too happy, though. Understandable. Literally, only one corner separates the bridge from a potential battlefield.

"Remember me when we're on the Citadel, that I'll request armor plating for this chair." he grumbled while keeping his gaze on the screens in front of him.

"Noted, Joker", the Commander answered with a tight-lipped smile.

We had done everything to keep the heat away from the NORMANDY – additionally to the main squad, four marines of the security detail were covering the bridge and the airlock to prevent any counter-boarding attempt. They looked determined, and I made a mental note to maybe talk to them later. I didn't really have much contact to the NORMANDY's crew, except for those I knew from the game. On the other hand, I hadn't any time to socialize. Ash's murderous schedule made sure of that.

I put the glasses I had carried in my left fist on my nose and fastened them. Ashley was right... almost everything of my appearance screamed 'makeshift'. I did wear the usual Onyx armor, but with a few... upgrades. Balaclava, glasses and a steel helmet replaced the usual Alliance-issued headgear. My knife and its holster were stripped to my right thigh. My wristwatch was on the left wrist, the clock itself turned around so that I could look on it while carrying a rifle. There had been a few questioning glances from the others (especially Tali, but knowing her and with that mask I wasn't sure if hers was curious, confused or whatever), but I strapped it on anyway and no one objected.

The most definitely-not-Alliance-standard thing was the dark grey chest rig. I have no idea in which hidden corners of our arsenal our requisition officer, the always wayward Postle, has found it (and I probably don't wanna know), but when he showed it, I promised him a beer in the next port we would arrive. It fit perfectly and solved the problem where to stow my Molotovs and the medigel Dr. Chakwas handed me to carry for Shepard. Still hadn't trained as medic, still not too sure what to think about it, but whatever. Ah, and last thing, since I yet hadn't found time to bring on some markings on my armor I still wore the brassard with rank and everything on my left shoulder.

To describe my outfit in one sentence: I looked like a mixture of a Mass Effect 1 marine and a 20th century US marine.

"Let hope that helps", Ash quietly muttered under her breath. I'm not even sure I was supposed to hear that, but it didn't make me feel any better.

"Finishing docking procedure in three, two, one..." came from Joker. The last word was lost in the loud bang! as the hulls connected. A metallic scratching followed, then an uneasy silence.

On Shepard's quiet order - "Ready!" - we raised our rifles and trained them on the lock. It hissed, opened and revealed the NORMANDY's outer airlock – still closed. We waited a minute for the ships VI to analyze what was on the other side.

"Area clear. No life signs in the entrance zone. Artificial gravity intact. Atmosphere green."

"Alright", Shepard sighed and then spoke with authority. "Remember: Charlie team, defensive positions. Bravo, stand by. Assist at my command only. Alpha, follow me. Passive stance, don't shoot first."

She, Garrus and Kaidan stepped forward and lined themselves up in the decon chamber, then the inner seal closed.

I tried to keep a calm appearance, but nervousness slowly tied up my throat. According to our plan, Shepard would scout the area first and then call Bravo team in to wait inside the enemy ship, close to the airlock.

"You're alright, newbie?" A voice to my left startled me to a jump. Turning my head, I saw one of the marines, by his rank insignia a corporal. His helmet concealed most of his face save for the eyes, his right hand holding an Avenger rifle by its grip and his left hand raised as if to calm me down.

"Sorry 'bout that, mate", he said, his voice contorted, "you just look pretty tense there."

I gave him a nervous smile – which he couldn't see, thanks to breather mask and balaclava – and nodded once. "Yeah, thanks, I think I'll be alright when it starts."

"Just try to relax, man." a second marine spoke up. He wore the same Onyx armor as the first one, but with only a single golden stripe – a Private First Class. "We all went through this. Just remember that you're with a team." Switching to a cheerful voice, he added: "And with any luck you won't even have to fire a shot!"

"As if that would happen." the corporal answered with a snort and a shake of his head. "Ya know who our CO is."

"Not helping, Miller." Ashley's voice came from my right, and the death ray of a glare she shot Cpl. Miller quickly shut him up.

"C'mon, Ma'am, we're just tryin' to sweet-talk our newbie into playin' some Poker with us."

"Yeah, well, it's not working, Gordon, so I'd advise you to shut up and focus." Ash snapped. I think I saw just a hint of amusement in her eyes, though.

We more or less went back to our former stances.

"What a shame. I really need someone else to mug."

"Miller!"

"Shuttin' up now, Ma'am."

I made a mental note to learn how to play Skyllian-V ASAP.

In any event, for a brief moment, I felt a bit more relaxed – which was probably the whole reason for this banter. That changed a second later when I heard a familiar voice over my earphones.

"Alpha, reporting in. No signs of hostile activity here. You can come in. Door's open."

"Copy that, Ma'am." Ash answered and gestured towards us. "Let's go."

We stepped first into the decon chamber, then into the ONTARIO. As soon as the ONTARIO's inner lock closed behind us (Garrus would tell me later how laughably easy it was to hack), the tension was back there – in full strength.

We came to the T-junction you spawn in in-game and took up positions like told – Ashley taking point and aiming into the cargo bay, Wrex to her left covering Tali, and me behind Ash and facing down the opposite corridor, watching the Team's back while Ash watched mine.

I nervously checked every angle, but no movement. Unsurprisingly, since all the action in this mission would happen in the cargo bay. Not even a sound. I almost expected Wrex to complain how boring this was.

Then, an inarticulated shout and gunfire. I flinched.

"Contact!" Shepard's voice came in, calm yet tense, accompanied by the sound of bullets. "Six or more tangos, pistols, biotics."

I almost expected Ash or Wrex to rush in head first, but the Commander's orders were clear – holding this junction until either Shepard specifically called us or retreated with the hostage.

That put me in a scary position – looking down a corridor, being responsible for my teammates safety while a firefight raged on not even twenty meters behind me. And my back was completely exposed, only covered by the guns of my squad.

I felt like I was getting choked and had to muster all my willpower not to turn around.

And to keep my hands from shaking.

Luckily, this only lasted for maybe a minute before Shepard reported all hostiles down and moved on to free the hostage.

Another minute passed with nothing happening.

It should be fine from now on, I told myself while attempting to slow down my racing heart. Shepard's a paragon so she should be able to convince the biotics to -

"Hostiles, got the hostage, Bravo, move in!"

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Ash reacted fast. "Raven, Tali, hold this position!"

"Okay!" I answered, my voice cracking slightly. From the corner of my eye, I saw that Wrex didn't even bother waiting for his order – he bellowed a krogan battle cry and just stormed into the cargo bay, Ashley right behind him.

It would've been awesome to watch – if I hadn't suddenly suffered a severe panic attack. In retrospect, if someone would have attacked us at this moment I would have been a dead man.

This is not supposed to fuckin' happen!

"I've got the hostage!"

"Need to CD, Wrex, cover us!"

"Raaaaaah!"

"Alright, let's go! Let's go!"

The shouted orders over radio pulled me out of my brief shock.

Get yourself together man, they need you!

"Raven, Tali, we're coming in, got hostiles on our tail, watch out!"

"Copy that!", I shouted and tightened the grip on my rifle, turning around to face the cargo bay and pressed myself at the corner. A short glance to my left – Tali had drawn her assault rifle as well. For a brief moment, she faced me, and even though I couldn't see her eyes she looked dedicated.

A second later our guys run through the door – I was so nervous, I almost shot them. Ash taking point before Shepard who carried a battered civilian on her back, Garrus and Wrex behind her, Garrus firing his pistol over his shoulder, Wrex fully turned to the bay and firing shot after shot from his already steaming shotgun.

I pressed myself into the wall, the assault rifle and part of my head peaking around the corner and awaiting the incoming hostiles with shaky breath. Where's Kaid-

There he was, glowing blue and storming out of the cargo bay. His face contorted, his whole appearance exhausted.

And just when he charged by, someone else came into my sights.

The biotic terrorist screamed something inaudible, firing his pistol at Kaidan and only then noticing us.

For the fracture of a second, he looked... baffled.

I don't consciously remember pulling the trigger.

I'm not even sure if it was me who killed him, or Tali whose rifle sounded at the very same moment.

All I know is that his shields, already very low from the firefight before couldn't even handle a single bullet, and a moment later blood spilled from his chest.

He was without any cover, and he paid for it.

At least ten bullets hit him in various areas of stomach and chest – and at last, one the head.

He tumbled forward one step before going down in a mist of blood.

His last expression I saw through my sights was realization. Then he fell on his chest and didn't move again.

For a moment, I was just shocked. Then I felt bile rising in my throat and I had to close my eyes,

I barely, barely kept myself from puking.

Gunfire, ahead. Opening my eyes again, I saw Tali's shields flicker under fire, and her retreating back into the corridor behind me.

At that moment, every emotion left me. My body almost moved on its own, a result of mine and Ashley's hard and dedicated training over the course of the past two weeks.

A peek around the corner, carefully so that only my steel helmet and my eyes were exposed. Quickly counting three hostiles taking positions at the cargo bay's door, then diving back into cover, firing my assault rifle blindly around the corner.

A jolt of pain in my right hand. I inhaled sharply and fully pulled myself behind the wall. The enemy pistols sounded. The bullets impacting next to me sounded like rain drops drumming on a metal roof. A deadly rain at that. I got tunnel vision, blurring everything except for what was right before my eyes.

I looked at my hand. I couldn't move the middle finger. A lucky bullet had punched through the rather weak shield and through the glove. Blood trickled out of the hole.

Everything felt like I was drugged, my thoughts were somewhat clouded, yet very clear at the same time. Instincts kicked in, trained routines.

I knew there were at least three hostiles around the corner. Tali had taken position behind me, firing past me at the tangos. The others had either taken positions in the corridor behind me or were trying to get aboard the NORMANDY ASAP.

Thinking back, maybe the better choice would have been to fall back and let my squad mates covering my back while we retreated. But the trained routines I was running on thought about how devastating just a single biotic attack could be when it hit all of us, stacked as we were.

So I decided for another option. To delay them for as long as possible.

Trusting Tali to keep them at bay for the moment, I dropped the rifle and grabbed at my chest rig. Hissing slightly as I had to bend the wounded finger, I pulled out and unsealed a Molotov and my lighter.

It took not even half a second for the slightly modified lighter to set the fuel-dripping rug in flames.

Waiting for a brief pause in the enemy fire, I threw the flask around the corner into the cargo bay.

As I pressed myself back into cover, I heard the effect more than I saw it. Screams. Angry yells. More bullets.

And then, out of all sudden, a loud slam.

Peeking around the corner, I saw that the internal emergency seal had kicked in and tried to contain the fire as good as possible.

Regaining part of my composure, I mentally kicked myself for not thinking about this.

But at least we now had an opportunity to get the hell out... it wouldn't take them much time to override the seal anyway.

"Tali, Raven, fall back, time to go!"

Ash's voice in my ear startled me just a bit, but the quarian and I hurried back to the airlock. The NORMANDY's marines covered our retreat, and a moment later the airlock sealed and a metal scratching told us that our ship had departed.

I felt completely numb, save for the pulsing in my right hand.

"Raven, you okay?"

With a blank stare, I looked into Kaidans worried face. Not able to formulate words, I made a gesture with my chin towards my hand.

Seeing my expression and the wound, he cursed and then grabbed my shoulder with his right while activating his headset.

"Doc, Raven's wounded, too. Bullet wound in his hand, minor shell shock. I'll bring him down ASAP."

He more or less walked me out of the airlock and towards the medbay. I tried to get a grip of myself, but was unable; the faces of those I walked past more or less shadows, and so their voices.

It was only when I noticed myself sitting on a coat in the medbay and had Dr. Chakwas checking my eyes when my brain snapped back to work. Kaidan said something about "checking the rest of the team" and left.

Then my facade broke completely. I tore Helmet, glasses and mask from my face. Shaking violently, I bowed to support myself on my knees - even though I was already sitting - and took a few very shaky breaths.

"Here, drink this." Chakwas handed me a small glass with a familiar smelling fluid in it.

I downed it in one go and inhaled sharply. Schnaps – as expected.

"That's a good one, huh?"

I fought my tongue and my throat to speak again. "Indeed it is."

"There's no better way to get someone out of a shock than to give him a glass of pure Serrice Ice Brandy."

In any other moment, I would have known better than to react to that, but I was way out of balance. And laughed. Quite hysterically, actually. It was only when I had to fight for air that I realized the mistake I had made.

Chakwas gave me a curious glance. "What's so funny about that, dear?"

I quickly thought of an answer. "I'm sorry, Ma'am. But ain't Serrice Ice among the most expansive drinks in Alliance space? And you're using it as a shock cure?"

She smiled and poured herself a glass, too. "Yes, I do. But not without reason." Mischief glinted in her eyes. "That allows me to put it on my medical requisition list. And give the bill to the Alliance."

I laughed. Noticing that I calmed down, I took a look around – to see Shepard half lying on the bed opposite of me, half leaning against two or three pillows and looking at me with green eyes.

She was still wearing her armor. With horror, I noticed small streaks of red going from holes in her chest part towards her mid.

"Shep, you're alright?" Another mistake, I noticed even before the last word fully left my lips. I had adopted Kasumi Goto's nickname for Shepard over the course of the Mass Effect series. Alright, if you're the one controlling her. Not so much, when you're her subordinate.

"I'- I'm sorry, Commander, I didn't mean to..."

Like always, my attempt at excusing myself was cut short.

"Oh, shut up, will you."

Her tone and her grin took the sting out of her words.

"I thought you said something about not caring about the chain of command, didn't you?"

"Well, that doesn't mean I wanna be deliberately disrespectful, Ma'am."

"I'll come back to that." she replied dryly. "In any event... I got a few bullets when I tried to get Burns" – she gestured towards the chairman whom I noticed only now, laying unconsciously on a coat in the corner - "out of there without a bullet in his head. Worked out, somehow. And now the good doc won't shut up 'bout checking the scratches."

"And you know I won't, because if I do, you just walk into your cabin and try to treat yourself on your own, Commander." the doc chided her. "I know you for a while now."

"Bugger.", Shepard mumbled. I had to grin – it sounded like a mother scolding her child who was afraid of the dentist.

"And what 'bout you, Raven?"

"Took some fire in the corridor." I answered and showed her my hand. "Bastard got lucky and hit it when I was firing blind."

"Speaking of fire." Shepard said, and her eyes narrowed a bit before she sighed. "Normally, I would have to give you an earful 'bout doing what you just did."

Hm? "What did I do wrong, Commander?" I asked, puzzled.

"Blame me and Ashley for not telling you in time." she said. "But first..." She propped herself up on her elbows and fixed my with her eyes, slight worry in them. "How do you feel?"

"I dunno." I answered after a bit of hesitation. "I just … "The image of the terrorist's grimace as he died came back, and I flinched. Now that the adrenaline was starting to wear off, I felt increasingly sick and, even though the mission barely took ten minutes, tired. Not to mention that I was still bleeding. "I think I'll take a long and hot shower." I finished lamely.

"That's a very good idea.", Shepard said with a sigh. "Trust me, I know how you feel. Completely worn out and kind of dirty, right?"

I merely nodded.

"That happens to almost everyone after his first fight." she assured me. "Guess your time on Earth made it easier for you. You didn't even throw up."

"Was damned close, though." I whispered. Shepard nodded. "You never get fully used to killing someone." she answered just as quietly. "The only thing you can do is to remind yourself that you're doing the right thing."

We were silent for a moment. Dr. Chakwas scanned Shepard in the meantime and assured her that the damage was only superficial ("Told you. Only scratches." Shepard grumbled. The doc merely grinned.) , and that she would be able to leave the medbay in roughly a hour ("You didn't really thought you can keep me here, did you?"), then she came over to inspect me. Getting rid of that useless glove hurt like a biatch, but finally Chakwas was able to inspect the finger. From my professional point of view, it was a wonder that said finger was still attached to my hand. I had to look away.

"Your finger is broken", Chakwas told me matter-of-factly, "and it seems like the muscle tissue has taken quite some damage, too." She used medigel before firmly bandaging my whole hand. That made me hiss again, but fortunately, the miracle medicine took away the worst of the pain. "At least one week of rest for you, and come see me every day."

I nodded, still numbed and with the alcohol's taste on my lips. "Understood, ma'am."

"You just finished your first mission, soldier." I didn't expect Shepard to speak up. A hint of… pride? Sympathy? Hard to tell - "Don't worry, you will get used to all of this soon enough."

I'm afraid so.

"Hey, look at me."

I tore my gaze away from my hand to look in Shepard's eyes.

"You did well for your first time. No one goes into his first mission and then gets out without a scar. I've seen what you did, and you kept yourself together."

She spoke to me like I was a child trying to learn how to ride a bicycle and failing. And it worked. At least a little bit.

"Thank you, Shepard." In truth, I wanted to get away from it all, at least for some time to bring some order into the chaotic storm of thoughts that ran through my mind.

"Now, go get yourself a hot shower. You've earned it." she said while offering me a weak smile. She probably knew exactly what was going on inside me. "We'll do a debrief in two hours in the Comm-room. Take your time."

"Aye-Aye, Ma'am."

I rose from my seat, grabbed my gear, and was just about to leave the medbay when a thought struck me. "Before I go – Commander, what was with the fire?"

She rose so that she was fully sitting on the bed, pointedly ignoring the doc's frown. "I noticed that you were using one of your incendiary flasks. Under usual circumstances, okay. And it worked this time, too. But, for future reference" - and at that she smiled an ironic smile - "please don't do that on a ship. At least, not without me giving you the order."

"I'm sorry, Commander, but I don't understand."

"Weeeeeell." she drawled, "With you growing up on Earth, you probably don't know that fire on ships can be quite dangerous. They've got a lot of electronics, for example. If you fry them, almost everything can happen."

Her look changed to an interesting mix of indulgent and sarcastic.

"With bad luck, you could have caused the ship's VI to vent the atmosphere. Or you could've just blow it up entirely. "

Oh, goddamn-!

"No hard feelings. We all started out as greens."

"Thanks... I suppose."

With that, I left the room almost as pale as I walked in.

The cargo bay was uncharacteristically quiet. The only sounds to be heard were the steady, almost sleep-inducing hum of the engines and the quiet scratching and occasional shuffling of armor parts. I had literally taken my whole equipment apart, cleansing it, checking it and even adding some modifications on my own. Ash was a very good teacher.

Except for me, the cargo bay was completely empty. The CQC course had been removed; even the Mako was missing from his usual spot.

Roughly two hours after the mission, we had transferred Chairman Burns to the Alliance courier frigate SSV VERDUN and then immediately set course for Artemis Tau cluster (more precisely, the Sparta-system) where we had finally arrived a few days ago. Alliance Intelligence still was unable to find Liara, and I was seriously asking myself just how competent they were. It was very tempting to just say 'Therum' and be done with it, but... yeah.

Anyway: In order to get the team some much needed practice time with our resident APC, Shepard decided to more or less begin the Cerberus-questline by searching for Admiral Kahoku's 'Missing Marines'. It's at least in the same cluster as Liara, and with any luck we would be able to get a hint on our own - or so Pressley told me. I just shut the fuck up.

As always, Shepard took a squad of five people with her – and since I was still wounded, the Commander decided to leave me behind. After what I experienced on the ONTARIO, I didn't mind it all that much. I still hadn't really processed what happened there.

I put down the cleaning kit and took a look at my armor. It hadn't even been smudged in the fight, still I had felt the need to fully clean it to get rid of the imagined stench. Then I took my pistol from my holster, opened it up and removed the ammoblock.

Usually, I enjoy the silence. Sure, most of the time I'm alone I am listening to music, but it is always nice to just … shut everything down. To calm down and be able to think without anything disturbing me. It allows me to balance myself out, so to say. And it makes me very self-aware, something I find very important.

But for the past few days, I hadn't dare to stay in silence, always having noise around me, even going as far as listening to music while trying to rest at night. I was afraid to think about... everything.

Eventually I found myself unable to continue like that... it was enough that the pictures of both the burning turian back on the Citadel and now the dead terrorist were haunting me in my sleep.

So once the squad had left the NORMANDY to face the thresher maw (though they didn't know about it) I grabbed my gear and went to the quietest corner I could find. Cleaning everything was not that hard of a task, even with a bandage... but it kept my hands occupied.

In the meantime, millions of thoughts went through my mind... underlaid by the omnipresent fear and uncertainty which had dominated me for the last few days. Even though nobody had said anything, I am sure everyone in our squad has noticed how restless I got. I think they blamed my injury and the shell shock for it, and to tell the truth, they were partially right. However, the sting was deeper than that.

The storm in my brain got worse and worse, making it almost impossible to grab one single piece of information I could work with. After a while, I lost it, and threw my pistols' ammoblock onto the ground in rage. The loud impactimmediately sobered me up, and I expected someone to come down to investigate. Everything stayed quiet though, and there I stood, clenching my fists and taking a deep breath. Then I started wandering around, trying to maintain a steady breathing.

Alright, from the start.

First: Why did I panic so badly? Okay, I am new to this. I never was in the military; I was never in a real firefight. The closest I've ever got to that was paintball. Of course I might panic in my first fight. There's my life at stake, for crying out loud.

But why now, and not on the Citadel? Was it because I was able to prepare myself back then? Do I have to expect panic attacks the next time I'm in the field? Can I still trust myself?

Second: Why did the Commander - did we – manage to get Burns out, even after Shepard obviously failed the negotiation?

Why did that negotiation fail in the first place? Shepard is a full-out paragon, ain't she? She should have easily been able to convince the terrorist leader to let Burns go. Or is there some restriction I don't remember anymore? Nay... hell, do those rules even apply here? This is real life, isn't it?

Then why did the scene on the Citadel go exactly like in-game? Well... except for the parts I manipulated by being there. But then, how did my presence on the ONTARIO change the events on that freaking ship?

I sighed and put my head against the wall. There we go again.

I stood there for at least ten minutes, trying to solve this clusterfuck of a mess in my head.

Then I gave up.

I literally said "Fuck this all." There is something going on I can't influence. All I can do now is to continue like I did before. And if there's something coming up, I have to deal with it. At least it sounds simple enough.

My gaze fell upon the ammoblock. I picked it up and inspected it – the edge had broken off. Most people would think that a simple block of metal would be all it takes to feed a weapon, but in reality, this block needs to have a certain quality. If it is scarred enough, the weapon may get unbalanced, or the mechanism for splitting off the ammo-grains may fail, resulting in some kind of jamming.

Sighing again, I threw the block into the recycler. Then I walked over to the work station... to support myself on it and look down on my hands.

So, no more 'let the Crew do the job and just hang around with 'em'. I assumed that my time in Mass Effect would more or less consist of: "Be part of the team, let the events play out as they would in the game and occasionally intervene to defuse some of the more BS situations." Virmire, for example. Because if I intervene too much, I may end up fucking up this whole story. I mean, the Reapers do get defeated in the 'vanilla' ending. I just can't risk that.

But how do I do this when I can't be sure anymore?

My gaze fell on the fresh pistol ammoblock next to Ashleys spare assault rifle. Frightening. But, on the other hand... Well...

I hesitated for a second. Then I grabbed that thing on impulse, took my pistol from my belt and slammed the block in. And grinned ever so slightly.

At least it gets interesting. If all these things aren't certain anymore, then I will have to take part in the action. What I do really has an effect on this freakin' universe. I can make a difference without risking too much – except for myself. And that's what I've basically been doing from the very start.

Feeling just a bit better, I turned around just in time to hear Joker's voice over the intercom. "Squad leader reports EVA ending. Approaching pick-up coordinates in T minus five. Everyone, clear the cargo bay!"

The Mako would literally fly into the cargo bay, and anything in it's way was likely to get reduced to the size of a stamp. Shepard as experienced N7 and Joker as best frigate pilot in the Alliance always make sure that it won't get overly dangerous... but for once I was glad that security protocol existed.

I quickly fixed the gear lying around on the magnetic part of Ash's workbench and headed for the elevator. When the shutter closed itself behind me, I thought about the mission. Alright... with the Missing Marines out of the way, the next part that follows is...

… not what I expected, but whatever.

A/N: Hello folks. As you've probably noticed, yeah, I'm not dead or anything. Where do I start? ._.

During the last eight weeks, there's been a lot on my plate. Starting with university stuff, a writers block, Fallout 4, more university stuff... and serious motivation issues overall. For an example, the first part of this, the one aboard the ONTARIO? I've been rewriting this. Four goddamned times. Before I had remotely a feeling like that was any good.

There just came a point where I said: "Break from Mass Effect. Now." So I stopped writing for a few weeks and have been doing other stuff instead. For example, reading through all these fanfictions that had been on my list for like a year and I've never had the time to. But rest assured, this story will. be. finished. I like to keep my word, and it's not like writing this is no fun to me - if it wasn't, you wouldn't be reading these lines. But don't expect me to publish a chapter every month again - considering what my schedule looks like, I must've been drunken when I wrote that statement. I also didn't thought you guys would be that much interested in this story - thank you all for reading so far!

I wanted this Chapter to be a bit longer - there's still a side mission coming up before we move on to Therum - but looking at what's coming up in my real life, I decided to release this chapter as it is now and add the missing part as another, shorter chapter. With any luck, it will be finished before the end of this month, but even if it is not, it won't take another full month.

Alright then. With this out of the way - thanks again for continuing to read this story, which was once just a silly idea of mine! Please consider reviewing, fav'ing and following :) Until next time!