Had a year already passed since he last saw her?
He was unsure of when and how everything had happened. He felt like he had been living in misery all along by himself for perpetuity.
All the troubles he used to encounter day by day were nothing compared to the wretchedness he felt when his friend left him. He had always loved her. He had vowed to protect her. He had done everything for her. And what happened after that? She had left him and had gone with a total stranger.
Everyday, he would lament in one corner…
Everyday, he would think of the memories he had had with her…
And that every single day… the pain was becoming more excruciating for him much more…
What's wrong with me? Am I not worthy of you? He would question himself repetedly. What did I do to that drove you to chose him other than me? Nanda!Poor Hideki…
No matter how hard he tried, he could not just drive the young woman out of his mind.
He could not just forget the memories of her lovely face… of her tender voice.
Oh, just imagine how hard it is to love someone who loves another especially if you have already loved her more than you should.
+8:00 A.M.
Properly dressed but with a worn out look on his face, Hideki went outside the apartment he was renting.
For a year, he had always been walking the lane every morning.
Noticing a solitary figure journeying the path going nowhere, the birds that were resting on tree branches sang a soft and heartrending melody that caused Hideki's tears to stream down his gentle cheeks.
The sun was already rising. The sunrays beamed through his tears making them glistened like stars in the morning.
Hideki was a man of great melancholy…
An ill-fated survivor of a cataclysm…
THE ADVERSITY OF LOVE!
Once, he thought love was an angel soothing his soul… calming his spirit. He had thought love was everlasting and never hurting.
Back then love was really a glorious mystery.
But now…
Everything had changed for him.
For him, love was only a temporary pleasure and was never permanent. It was only a sharp sword that has the ability to shatter, even the hardest heart, into pieces.
And now…
The trauma of loving again was slaughtering him to death.
He could not bring the past back… neither could he deny what had happened.
He could not just forget everything for he had not forgiven himself yet.
For him, it was his fault not Chi's.
If only I was strong! If only I was able to prove myself worthy of her! Especially… If only I was able to tell her how much I love her…Hideki had always regretted that day.
It was raining so hard back then…
He was lost in the rain searching for Chi all over the large vicinity of Tokyo, Japan.
He was shouting desperately. He was trembling both in cold and in fear as he yelled Chi's sweet name over and over hoping she would hear him and show her face to him.
He was delightful to see her but what could have happened?
She had chosen to go with a stranger.
And so, she left Hideki and enjoyed the comforts of the get backer's powerful arms.
Hideki's deep thoughts were interrupted by the barking of a dog lost in the streets.
He stared at it.
He kneeled down and petted it.
How I wish I were a dog being taken care of by my master. He said to the dog.
And how I wish my master is Chi. He sighed.
Could there be any possible medication that would heal a wounded heart?
Even though he cried all his tears out, the pain would not leave him unless he forgave himself. But what could he do to ease the pain?
All his hopes…
All his dreams…
All his thoughts…
All were shattered…
SHATTERED!
He had been deprived of his only love…
He had been deprived of his everything!
And now…
He was lost in the shadows of his own fear…
The fear of trusting…
The fear of loving…
And most of all…
There was the fear of sharing both his pleasure and his grief with someone else.
His future had turned so dim that it could now be compared to a star that was already losing its light and no one could ever tell if there was still a method left to nurse his wrecked spirit.