Disclaimer: I (still) don't own Bioware; nor any of the assets used in this story. If I would, I would be writing this story, Cuba Libre in hand, on some hammock in the Caribbean instead of being stuck in European autumn chill with a bloody grog to stop my nose from being runny.

"No beast is more savage than man when possessed with power answerable to his own rage." - Hannibal Lecter

Chapter 9 – UNC: Cerberus

I lifted the rifle from the table and weighed it. Then I raised it and aimed into the air. Content with the current settings, I lowered it again and looked to the woman standing at my side.

Ashley leaned against her bench, had the arms folded in front of her and nodded approvingly. "Looks decent. So the two-zero-ex sight, you say?"

I nodded my agreement. "Great for medium range, good enough for close range. 'Least, that's what the guys upstairs 've been saying. And I like the red dot."

"You can't tell that just yet." she warned me. "Picking up a sight is fine, but it takes quite some time on-range to know if it's really good for you."

I murmured an agreement, but in reality focused more on field-stripping the weapon to the core. Of course Ash was right. But everything about the sight felt just right and comfortable, for the lack of better words, after aiming down sights a few dozen times. Only a test in the actual field could help me now, and then there were other thing about my rifle I had to keep an eye on. I only had it for like twelve days, and was still trying to get to know it well enough, but the results were extremely promising.

I didn't understand why the Lieberschaft Mark 96 'Mattock' Battle Rifle was ever retired from active duty to begin with. Well, okay, I can see why a battle rifle is less useful under the current Alliance combat doctrine, than an assault rifle... but a) the Marine Corps had quite a lot of marksmen in their ranks, b) the average marine was running around with four weapons anyway and c) quite some veterans were still very fond of their 'plate crackers'. That nickname went all the way back to the First Contact War, where the Mattock's firepower and precision proved to be one of the most deadly weapons of a humanity which technology was still far away from the standard of the Council races.

My Mattock wasn't quite that old, but still had a solid decade under its mantle. It was one of the last rifles that were delivered to the Marine Corps, and had never seen any combat – once on the Citadel, it had been put directly into the depot, in the reserve, and stayed there for all the time. And so, as I opened the crate, the first thing I smelled was a mixture of metal, oil and a bit of grease. Then I saw the plain white and black, and immediately fell in love (again) with the bullpup-like design.

"You do a good job, and you can keep it when you're discharged", Shepard had said with a grin. As such, I already regarded it as my rightful property. It only lacked a bit of customization. And a nicer paint job.

Ash sighed. "Since you're busy anyway, I'll grab something to drink. See you at oh-nine hundred."

I nodded towards here, then returned my attention to the working bench. The clicking of magnetic boots went quieter, but someone in armored boots stepped next to me instead. I turned and looked into a pair of eagle eyes, for once not covered by a holographic visor.

"Sooo." Garrus drawled. "This is the famous 'turian-killer' Corporal Miller was talking about."

I groaned. "If that guy is givin' you shit, I'll let Kaidan know."

"You don't need to worry, it was not like that. We just had a professional conversation about the concept of battle rifles during the last dinner."

"I can see Miller would do everything for not having to pay attention at the food." I said while using the screwdriver to fix the casing. I had missed last dinner. Was busy modifying stuff. A protein bar had to be enough.

"At least you don't have to live on nutrient paste here."

"True that." I turned again and saw him still mustering the rifle. "Wanna try it out?"

He thought for a second, then flared his mandibles. "Sure, why not?"

I brought up my left hand to my ear to activate my communicator and raised the right one to activate my omnitool. I dialled our XO.

"Pressley here. What's the matter, Private?"

"Sir, requesting permission for firing a rifle. Cargo bay, training ammo only."

"Granted. Make sure those are indeed training rounds." He ended the call, and I nodded gravely into thin air.

One member of the marine detail – I didn't know, who – had accidently used live ammunition during a shooting range session two days back. It caused a ship-wide alarm – of course during my sleep shift, it wouldn't have been fun otherwise – and the marine was heavily berated by at least XO Pressley and Kaidan. Considering that under bad circumstances, the ricocheting round could have hit the drive core, I was fully with them.

I picked up the rifle, checked the ammo – it was training ammo – and handed it to Garrus. He weighed it and inspected it from all sides.

"It is heavier then I would have thought."

"Yeah. From what they told me, they intentionally made it so the recoil is easier to control." I took a step back and crossed my arms in front of me with a grin. "Ash even wants me to install a heavier barrel. But I think it's heavy enough as it is." At roughly five kilograms plus another half kg for the ammo block, the Mattock was a bit heavier than a usual 20th century battle or marksman rifle. Any more weight, and it would have been problematic to use without bipod. Not to mention that I had to carry it.

Garrus bowed his head slightly forward, activated his visor, and brought the rifle to a ready. It wasn't exactly comfortable - the stock, adjusted to me, pressed into his armor - but it worked.

"Attention! Weapon ready!" I shouted, and everyone in the bay took a few steps back.

He aimed for a large crate, roughly eight meters away close to the cargo bay lock. It was filled with scrap and other useless ballast; stuff we would space soon enough. For now, we had painted a humanoid figure on it and used it for target practice.

He aimed down sights, inhaled -

The Mattock sounded characteristically powerful, the sound waves echoing back from the NORMANDY's steel walls.

The turian took another breath, then fired another three rounds in quick succession.

After all was said and done, he nodded and gave my rifle back. "Impressive." Was his dry comment, as I let the barrel retract, put the now-folded Mattock back on the working bench and walked over to inspect his work.

Four thumb-sized holes were spread all over the targets 'chest', one of them effectively cut the throat in half. The training-ammunition was hollow and made from a very soft alloy - an alloy that had only a very light magnetizability. That reduced the ammo's muzzle velocity by a great deal and from what they told me, the combination of soft metal, hollow rounds and low speed made it an ideal type of ammo for short-range shooting. Seeing the holes it made into the steel crate, I wasn't so sure about it being much less dangerous, though. If the target had been an unarmored human, only one of these hits would have effectively slit his throat wide open.

"Yeah, I think I'll have quite some fun." I said with a small grin. "The only problem I'll have to deal with is that the center of mass is a bit higher than with my former rifle. But if you'll show me how it's done, then I might be able to make it work."

He nodded in understanding. "Will do. That shouldn't be a problem - the sway is still less than with sniper rifles, or any long barrel." He flared his mandibles. "I wonder why the Hierarchy hasn't come up with this role. Considering we were the ones that first came up with the concept of precision rifles... Except of course the Asari, but they don't fight like an army."

I looked to him in interest. "You guys have no designated marksmen?"

He shook his head. "Every Turian soldier is expected to be as precise as possible. The better you are, the more powerful rifles you will be issued, but nobody gets specially trained for the job. The best shooters are granted access to the best rifles, and support the rest of the unit from behind the main frontline. I think this is similar to what you human 'marksmen' are doing… so, effectively, we separate between skill levels, like you humans do with marksman, sharpshooter and expert rifleman, but we don't separate between the roles."

I was a bit astonished. "How come you know more about our human stuff than I do?"

He flared his mandibles again, this time in amusement. "Well, I don't want to brag, but I am an expert marksman. One of the best of my unit. And, actually, have taken part in joint training missions with the Alliance. "

No bragging, huh. I suddenly had the "reach and flexibility" in my mind and forcefully pushed it away.

Before I could respond to that, our Commander called us over the intercom. "All members of my squad, please report to the comm-room within the next fifteen minutes. We have a change of plans."

"A 'change of plans'..." Garrus drawled, looking to the Mako. "Do you have an idea?"

"Nope." I shrugged. "I don't like the sound of it." We had been travelling from the Widow nebula towards Feros, in the Attican Beta cluster, and had arrived in the Hades Gamma cluster a day ago. We were scheduled to arrive at our target destination in four additional days… so any major change of plans would delay us even further, potentially putting our mission objective at risk. "Must be very important."

"It better be!" Wrex' loud voice from behind me startled me. He had been at his crates for the last three hours, but not made any noise, so I actually forgot about him. He pushed himself from his leaning position, and stomped towards the elevator. "I'm tired of doing nothing!"

I merely stared at him, before Garrus gave me a small nudge and a look, as if he wanted to say: Don't bother, it's useless.

I nodded meekly and hurried to follow him and Wrex to the comm-center.

Two days later, we hit dirt.

As the Mako came to a standstill, I readjusted my balaclava, and made sure that the breather mask was in place before attending to my screens.

Binthu was no place to joke around with. While the atmosphere pressure was okay, the temperature levels were around ninety degree Celsius, plus an atmosphere that was made up of carbon dioxide with the occasional toxic and acid rain involved. The seemingly hollow, very pale moon didn't really improve the dark and uncomfortable feeling I got. Not that my feelings mattered in any way.

We were there to wake sleeping dogs.

A certain three-headed bitch, more specifically.

I looked briefly to the rest of the Squad. Wrex on the cannon, Kaidan on the engines, Tali and Liara as cargo.

A look to the blue sort-of-woman next to me caused me to grimace, which was luckily invisible due to balaclava and glasses, as always.

Liara seemed to have serious problems adjusting herself to the planetfall. She had turned a much lighter shade of blue and looked positively ill. Ill enough for me to wish that in her stead, we had brought Ashley... She and Garrus had stayed behind this time around, though. Ash was not yet fully cleared for combat (the wound received on Therum had caused an infection), and Garrus wasn't feeling too well either. A mild turian version of a cold. As it stood, I was substituting him as marksman. And all things considered, it was good for Liara to gain as much experience with the squad as she could. Even the part where we all fell victim to APCickness femshepardia.

It was only a few days detour from our original route to the Cerberus research base of Binthu. Just enough for me to know that Shepard considered them a threat. Enough to delay our arrival at the mission-critical objective Feros. A good sign for me. Pictures of the Cerberus I had seen in part two and three haunted me these days.

More and more, I felt uneasy. I felt that I couldn't stay in my comfort zone forever. I am not referring to the fact that I foresaw a lot of bullets flying my direction, for the future… seeing who I was travelling with, I pretty much considered that a given right from the start. But with every mission we accomplished, and especially ever since I met 'Crow', I began to worry more and more about my own standing - and the future.

It was easy to identify myself with the mission. It kept my mind at ease. Just being one of the cogwheels. Dramatic, I know, but I like the picture. I was just working in the machine, making sure that the story progressed…

I just wondered how Cerberus would react to me two years later. Or maybe more pressing - within the upcoming two years.

With Crow on the field, we had actually a chance to make things better. I couldn't risk to screw that up.

"That's it! Tower down!"

I shouted that message across the Mako and into the comms.

That was the third time. Twice already, we had played the same game - dancing around the rocket turrets defending the Cerberus bases.

For the third time, Shepard gave the order to get out and storm the castle. Our boots hit the dirt, we ran out of the open and lined up at the entrance. Tali's hacking skills got us in, and together, we advanced through the airlock into the narrow small entry hall, filled with crates and metal. Spartan.

"Looks like the other two bases… exactly like the other two."

Kaidan's dry analysis was on point, but not really needed.

"Don't let that fool you. There may be a trap that the other two bases didn't have. Stay on your toes!", warned Shepard. As usual, she was taking point. I was in the rear, pointing my rifle above Shepard at the ceiling, watching out for any type of bad surprise.

It was an established routine now. My light armor and semi-automatic rifle designated me for the backline, from where I was able to deal loads of damage while taking the least fire in return. The rest of my 'skill set', as I ironically called it, was just right for the 'waterboy role'. Literally, as I still carried an additional bottle of water with me.

On the other hand, I was only carrying two weapons now - my Mattock, and an upgraded pistol. Ashley and I had given up on me carrying a shotgun, and with the marksman rifle, a sniper rifle was quite expendable, although I still occasionally trained together with Garrus.

That freed me up to carry other things. And as such, my chest carrier and my belt were filled with other gadgets and gear. Stuff like a First-Aid-Kit, or a reserve breather mask, or some omnigel. Or my 'signature weapon' - the Molotov Cocktail, now a full-fledged Incendiary Grenade.

I lined up behind the squad and used the small pause to knock briefly at all parts of my equipment, just making sure that everything was ready. Molotovs - check. Pistol - check. Knife - check. Medigel, shield generator, flashbangs…

I looked briefly at the newest addition to my arsenal, and grinned.

Shepard was damned right. Stunningly effective, those stun grenades.

You are around Joker far too often, 'Raven'. For you own sanity, and the sanity of everyone around you.

Ten days ago, Shepard had finally decided to invest some of my 'skill points' into a new 'ability'.

Seeing how I got more confident with my role and position, she decided that now would be a good time to further specialise me to 'rearguard/marksman/support specialist'.

She personally took over with my training. Multiple workout sessions with full armor and rifle. Specialised shooting range tasks. Many practice hours throwing fake grenades, enough to make both of my arms hurt. But also continuing to learn from Dr. Chakwas, how to keep people alive.

In short: We had left the basics and went on to the specializations, to the fine-tuning. (At least that's what I told myself in order to not feel that inferior anymore, compared to my squadmates.)

And: Under all the crates and packages that had been delivered to the NORMANDY as part of our fresh supplies from the Alliance HQ on the Citadel, there was one crate, looking quite similar to the one with Shepard's HE grenades and mods in it. There was a large lightning painted on it, and I was only allowed to open it under Ashley's and Shepard's watch. Ash was just as flabbergasted as I was, though. I immediately recognized the design - it hadn't changed at all in the last 150 years.

"Commander, are those actual flashbangs?" Ash had asked, unbelievingly weighting one of the black-yellow cylinders in her hand.

"Yes, Williams, those are a hundred Alliance issued Hahne-Kedar Mk 4 Stun Grenades, delivered directly from the N-school." Shepard had confirmed, watching the other woman and me with a small smile. "Just what we need to get inside enclosed positions and to breach through even the toughest of defences."

"I thought these things are only delivered to special operations teams?" The regular M-code marines were never issued any special grenades, just regular frags, and even those only occasionally. Too much risk aboard ships. And probably a questionable decision at command level.

"Well, I am an N7." Shepard grinned mischievously. "And what I do with them, AllCom doesn't need to know. 'Sides, I think we do qualify as a spec-ops-team. We are special, and we conduct operations." After that surprisingly sarcastic argument, Shepard turned to me, changing to seriousness. "Raven, you've been doing quite well in these last missions. I trust you to put these flashes to good use."

She then proceeded to personally show and teach me how to use those flashbangs effectively. The Commander took that training very serious. To the point where she made everyone leave the cargo bay and made me use live flashes - the risk of causing fire or other actual damage was completely erased with the new models. And later, she even asked me to blind myself with one of these things - so that I would know just how effective they were. Who was I to say No?

Even though I threw it to the far end of the bay and only looked at it from the corner of my eye, I was blinded for roughly ten seconds, the ringing stayed in my ears for the next ten minutes, and the afterimages stayed the entire day.

Another lesson learned. Always stay in cover, when throwing that thing.

The flash bangs had really proven effective when raiding the Cerberus bases. They were 'old tech'; tech that had somehow and surprisingly fallen out of the public mind. Still in use by special forces - reliable, durable, effective and efficient. And, surprisingly, almost unknown to non-humans - most likely due to a strongly different military history.

I liked that idea.

A well-aimed (*cough*) flash had eliminated all risk when we pushed through the first base's corridors. The Cerberus agents on Binthu were fanatic enough to not even try to surrender, and so, we took them out.

In this base, we had the Rachni Warrior. It unsettled me, but we were busy enough taking out the Cerberus soldiers and research technicians. A lucky bullet hit the console and unleashed that thing. The Cerberus guys took it out quickly, but in the meantime we had moved in and had gained the upper hand, taking what was left of them apart. I don't think anyone realized just was that bug was, though, before it was disintegrated with incendiary ammo. We had time for that realization on Noveria - later down the line.

The second base contained Thorian Creepers. But only I recognized them for what they were. Basically, the entire mission was us killing people and me trying not to prattle away.

And actually, this time, we unleashed them deliberately. When we entered the main laboratory, Cerberus tried to hold their ground. A useless effort - but it gave Tali the time to rush for the containment field controls, and shut them down. The following, very gory and splattery scenes, don't need to be described in detail.

What troubled me a bit, was that watching their sniper dying from acid and getting torn apart by a creeper's claws didn't trouble me that much...I wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or worrying if seeing people die like that didn't bring me out of my emotional balance anymore.

I settled for "good thing". I would need a good stomach for the Reaper War.

And now, the local Cerberus forces made their last stand in the third base.

I was anxiously awaiting – dreading - to see Kahoku in person.

Shepard opened up the door and entered, the squad in her back, securing all angles.

There was no guessing game involved in finding the holed-up Cerberus forces. They were clearly visible on our HUDs. None were even remotely close to the door.

We used the force field in the laboratory as cover. Shepard leaned around the corner, and that was where Cerberus started shooting.

"Raven!"

I nodded, pulled the pin and threw the flash around the corner. The loud bang sounded, we spread out and returned fire. The Cerberus forces were caught off-guard, one of them tumbled into my sight. His shield was already depleted.

The red dot connected with the centre of his chest. I fired twice.

The chest plate of a human armor usually sports the thickest layer of plating. That didn't matter, though. The high-calibre rounds tore two large holes, shattered the ribcage and dealt critical damage to lungs and heart.

He was sent flying on his back and only shivered briefly before going limp.

I hid behind cover, Kaidan unleashing his biotics right next to me, and took a breath. Only few bullets came my way, the squad was overwhelming Cerberus in no time.

I noticed movement from the corner of my eyes, and looked to my left – there was the barrier, simmering blue – and behind that, a fucking bug looked straight at me.

The problem was... the barrier ceased to exist.

With an unearthly scream, the once contained Rachni workers attacked everything in their sight.

The one before me jumped at me.

My enhanced reflexes allowed me to shove that fucking thing away.

Then it exploded.

Something poured down on me.

I screamed, first in surprise...

Some of the stuff splatter on my glasses.

Then I heard it hissing.

It felt hot. My face. My hands...

Acid!

I panicked fully, fell to the ground, tried to somehow get that stuff from me.

"Raven!"

I tried to tear the glasses away – they were caught -

Someone dragged me behind cover, helped me removing my breather mask.

My eyes were wide open, but the acid limited my view extremely. Only one eye was able to see anything at all, so it took me a while to recognise Shepard.

Her face was a mask.

"Liara, help Kaidan! Wrex! Make sure they're dead. Tali- Tali! Focus!"

Shep's voice was far too cool for my liking. I can't say though, if she was angry or just efficient.

"Help me here! Raven? You okay? Can you hear me?"

I nodded. That was all I could do.

"Calm down, boy, calm down. Don't move, lay still."

I did calm a bit and focused on regaining control over my breathing. In the meantime, Tali appeared in my field of view. She shivered violently.

"I'm- I'm sorry!"

"Tali, give me a hand here -"

"I only, I -"

"TALI!"

Shepard had snapped at Tali. She had snapped. At Tali.

"We'll talk later. Calm down, Girl. Help me. Remove his gloves."

The quarian looked shaken. Something must have gone really wrong.

No shit.

I only watched as far as I was able, and kept still. Shepard took a few, fast looks, then pulled my knife from my thigh holster and held it to my cheek. With a few strokes, she cut my glasses loose, and then tore them away before doing the same to my balaclava. A cold wave of air hit my did as told, but with her shiver, it took her ages. Shepard only needed a few seconds to remove the second glove. Then she looked me over.

"Only surface. No flesh hit." Shepard looked at me, the slightest twitch in the corner of her mouth. "You got a fuckton of guardian angels, you know that, Raven?"

I opened the clasps keeping my helmet in place, and tossed it a few feet away, before sprawling on my back on the ground. Then I opened my mouth. Which did cost a surprising amount of energy. "Shep... what the fuck? What the motherfuckin' shit just happened?"

"Hey, pull yourself together. Was just an accident. A damned accident, if you ask me. It's alright." She patted me on the shoulder, breathed noisily and looked at someone stepping closer. I recognized Liara supporting Kaidan, who clutched his left side. "You alright, Eltee?"

He groaned. I saw that his suit had taken severe damage. The Lieutenant had removed his shoulder armor's exterior layer – most of the polished, black ceramic plating were gone, exposing the night-blue 'fall-back' layer. And even there, a few holes showed.

I was somewhat lucky that he had been to my left, and had taken the brunt of the hit. On the other hand, I felt myself shivering at the thought of the full amount of acid hitting me. That shit had burned through the armor plates faster than Kaidan, the experienced SpecOps-Marine, had been able to drop them.

He removed his hand from his side, exposing a thick layer of light-blue medigel – and a big and fringy hole in the thigh plating.

"Acid burns, superficial. Don't feel well, but I'll manage." He looked down to me, grimacing.

I merely looked up, and felt tired. I only shook my head, to which he nodded in understanding.

"Raven and I can't extract right now," He said aloud. "Our gear is totalled, Commander."

Shepard bit on her lip, then nodded and raised the hand to her ear. "NORMANDY, this is Shepard – Pressley, all tangos in the mission area are eliminated. Doctor Chakwas on stand-by, we got multiple wounded." She turned her glance to the side, her mimic turning to stone. "We've found Admiral Kahoku. He's down. We'll attempt to revive him. Chances are... slim."

"Understood, Commander. Pressley out."

I followed her glance, and saw someone in dress blue on his back, on the ground. I suddenly was chilled to the core.

Liara and Garrus were over him, scanning him. They looked hopeless.

Kaidan reached out with his good arm. I took his hand – it felt strange, without a glove – and he pulled me up. I looked around. Corpses, blood and acid every-fucking-where. I couldn't even feel sick anymore.

I picked up my helmet and followed my squad mates into the centre of the room, dodging bug grime and acid pools, and then looked down onto a human corpse.

Kahoku looked surprisingly well. His body was well-preserved, no signs of decomposing. No obvious injuries, no bullet holes, no acid had hit him. That was all that was well about him, though. The face was so damned bloodless, looking like made from wax. And those eyes... his eyes looked...

They had no life in them. They were broken. I stared into them for a long time, unable to to look away. That image still haunts me today.

Kaidan looked to me once more, nodded to Shepard and kneeled next to Kahoku. He moved as if nothing happened, suggesting a high dosage of omnigel and some painkillers. I felt my legs grow weak and sat down, leaning myself against one of the containment field controls.

I felt someone heavy stepping next to me, and looked up. Wrex. He just leaned into the console, watching what happened in the middle.

Kaidan raised his gaze to meet Shepard's. His voice was calm, but professionell-chilled.

"Admiral Kahoku is dead. No pulse. Revival attempts have failed."

He looked down again, closing the dead man's eyes. "No obvious trauma. But, rigor mortis aside, he appears to have suffered strong cramps before his death. Fine restraint marks at wrist and knees. And then, there's that."

He pointed onto the Admiral's arm. Shepard bowed down to take a closer look.

"This looks like a needle mark. He got executed."

Kaidan nodded. "The rigor mortis is already beyond its peak. With the poison that was obviously used, it is impossible to pinpoint the exact time of his death – but I would say he died between forty and sixty hours ago."

Shepard bit her lower lip and folded her arms. "Unless Cerberus has something faster than our NORMANDY, it is unlikely that Cerberus has held him captive for long. They must have gotten him very soon after he transmitted us this location. The question is... why bringing him here the first place?"

"They must have attempted to question him, Commander, maybe figure out whom he transmitted to." Garrus said. "Maybe they kidnapped him when he was still on the Citadel. I know how C-SEC works, and it is not difficult to get inside information."

The Commander shook her head. "We won't figure out by guessing. Garrus, Tali, check their data storages. Find out what you can. Liara, come with me. We're getting EVAC-suits from the Mako. Raven and Alenko can't leave this place in their current state, the atmosphere of this shithole of a planet would kill them. Kaidan, you and Raven, help each other. Prepare Kahoku's remains for transportation. We're not leaving him here. Alliance frigates will need a few days to come here, I don't want to give Cerberus the opportunity to wipe all evidence. We will get his body to his family, give him a proper burial. Wrex, scavenge whatever you can. Check the lockers too. Watch for booby-traps."

A few Aye-Aye's and other confirmations sounded. Shepard raised her arm again.

"You alright, whelp?"

I looked up to Wrex, surprised. He still looked intimidating, but he sounded pretty calm.

"I'm okay... somewhat."

He snorted, gave me a long gaze and walked to the dead Cerberus operatives.

I remained silent, with no idea on how to respond to that. I grabbed after my rifle, found it on my back - I didn't remember putting it there - and picked up my helmet.

I stared down on the black paint. A small few drops of acid had splashed upon it, leaving a few holes here and there. I was tempted to touch them, but touching the acid without even a glove wasn't exactly the smartest idea. Instead, I found a scar, and traced it.

With omni-gel, I had managed to patch it up, but the bullet the slaver-sniper had sent against my helmet had still left its mark. Only a ricochet. A direkt hit would have killed me.

I looked to the side. The Cerberus soldier I had killed still lay there. My bullets hadn't penetrated the backside of his armor, he was not lying in a pool of blood. He still held his rifle, but with Death taking him, his finger had lost hold on the grip.

I felt empty.

Then Shepard began to speak. I looked up and saw her back, one arm raised to the head, the other one akimbo.

"NORMANDY, this is Shepard. Rear Admiral Kahoku is confirmed dead. Repeat; Kahoku is Delta Oscar Alfa.* Friendlies have taken damage. Prepare pickup at the following coordinates..."

I sat in the Mako, feeling very uneasy.

There were two causes for that. First, the additional suit I was forced to wear.

The Alliance EVAC suit closely resembles a hazmat suit, and effectively serves the same purpose – keeping hostile influences away from the living being, to put it in general terms. Only that these hazmat suits were specialised for personnel working or fighting on hostile words, with mine tailored to be worn above light infantry armor.

It was necessary. The damage the acid had dealt to mine and especially Kaidan's armor was too substantial, even to guarantee a safe walk to the Mako. The suit gave us the ability to move in hostile territory

To be on the safe side, Shepard had decided to do two runs with the Mako, bringing out half of the team at once. We were on the first trip – we, which were Shepard as driver and Tali, Kaidan and me as cargo.

The three of us were sitting in the transport compartment. It was a simple delivery run, no one was needed on any post.

Second – the corpse in our mid.

We had put the Admiral's remains in a bodybag – the Mako always carried a few – and, for the lack of another suitable place, put it into the cargo compartment as well.

I was a memory that made me shiver. The fact that I hate being around corpses actually only played a small part in it, or that I had to move a lifeless body.

When putting his remains in the bag, all I kept thinking was –

"You know? It's your fault he's dead. And you knew it before. In fact, you accepted it without much resistance. You called it necessary, didn't you?"

I stared down. The blue fabric obviously concealed the features, but the human shape was undeniable.

It was my fault.

I knew this would happen.

I had ample opportunities to stop it from happening.

I had resisted against interfering into the story. Messing with anything Cerberus-related could seriously fuck up ME2 and 3. Too much risk.

And now I stared at the contours of Rear Admiral Kahoku's face and asked myself if it was worth it.

It was unsettling. My field of view was severely limited with the transparent plate concealing my face, Kaidan was in his suit next to me, and Tali sat across. She looked pretty timid.

"I... I am sorry."

I looked up, finally forcing my gaze away.

"What for?"

"It's my fault you are like... this..."

I gave her an incredulous look, which was barely visible. Kaidan beat me to it.

"No, it's not. "

His voice was muffled by the suit. Tali' made an attempt to answer, but the Lieutenant didn't let her.

"Yes, you did deactivate the containment field. But you didn't know that one of these bugs was right next to us. You couldn't know that they would explode, or that they were filled up with acid."

The face-plate turned into my direction. I nodded.

"You made a mistake in the decision-making, so what?" I added. "I dunno how many mistakes I've made so far."

"And we're all still alive to learn from them." Finished Kaidan. With that, he leaned back against the wall.

I wasn't sure if he had noticed anything. I claimed to be a former street gangster. I should be used to be surrounded by corpses, if what I had read about the streets of the megacities on Earth – the ones that were ruled by gangs - was true. I started to notice just how against my background I acted at times.

Tired and uncomfortable as I felt, for now, I could only hope that I was avoiding anything that could raise further suspicion. And that the points I had earned so far would block any questions for long enough to raise me above all suspicion. I knew very well that I gambled.

"Seriously, Tali, don't worry that much." I said to the girl, and grinned despite not feeling like it. "The Eltee and me were too close to that hazard. We came out without serious injury. That's all. End of story."

"What you just said, Raven. What you just said." He said, sounding sleepy. The painkillers were starting to show their side effects. I felt to uneasy to give in to the sleep. We still had a visit with Dr. Chakwas scheduled for us. Tali looked at us, then nodded slowl. Her body relaxed just a bit.

I was tempted to follow Kaidan's example - but when I leaned back, the tip of my boots came into contact with the body in front of me, sending strong shivers down my spine.

And so, we returned to the NORMANDY. We had found extensive data on their research. Scientific BS, not mine to decipher. There was only one bit that was important to me -

Nepheron. Columbia system. Voyager cluster.

Cerberus' main base of operations for Mass Effect One.

I had no idea if there would be consequences in number two. I just knew that I wanted those fucking dogs dead.

A/N: *NATO alphabet; Delta Oscar Alfa - DOA - Dead On Arrival; patient was found to be already clinically dead upon the arrival of professional medical assistance. (Source: Wikipedia, of course.)

Hello, fellas! It only took a felt decade, but finally it is here, the latest chapter of ME: Raven. An look: We breached the 100.000 words, and are not even close to the finishing line. I hope you all enjoyed ME: Raven so far, and are looking forward to the next chapter as well; UNC: Hades' Dogs. This Chapter gave me quite some headaches, and would have once again resulted in numerous scientific catastrophes if it hadn't been for 5 Coloured Walker. Thanks once more, mate! One of these days, a cameo appearance will hit you when you expect it least.

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Thank you, and until next time!