Disclaimer: I do not own The Prince of Tennis.
Author's Words about this Chapter: This was a particularly confusing chapter because I was trying to see through Ryoma's eyes into his memories and thoughts. Please bear with it if you, fellow-reader, find it strange. Also please tell me if you have any comments because Ryoma was a really difficult character for me and I would like to know what you thought of my interpretation of him.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Ryoma on the Train
Meanwhile, on an earlier train, Ryoma was sitting alone. He was staring out the window, lost in memories.
He remembered Ryuzaki with her long braids and shy smile.
He remembered that day they were both on duty in class. They had to stay after school and note down everything that had happened in the class journal.
There were only the two of them in the classroom; everyone else had left.
Ryuzaki was doing the writing because her penmanship was neater. He was feeling sleepy and bored as he always did when he was not playing tennis. The next thing he knew was Ryuzaki shaking his arm and calling his name.
Apparently, he had fallen asleep and she had finished writing.
After waking him up, Ryuzaki had taken her hand off his arm, blushing like she always did around him.
Everyone thought he did not notice but he did.
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He noticed everything about her since they turned fifteen and was in the last year of junior high.
He knew that she had a crush on him but he never acted as if he cared because he hated being teased by the Seigaku regulars.
He always practiced with them, even when they went up to the senior section because he simply had no one who could compete with him in the junior section when he was in his last year.
He thought that they would always be like this; Ryuzaki and him.
He never thought that they would become a couple because even though he noticed her, he did not know what he felt about her.
It was too complicated and he disliked complicated things. Moreover, he was concentrating on his tennis. He was always concentrating on his tennis. He knew that she was aware of that and yet she still liked him.
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That afternoon, he must have been groggy with sleep; his mind still woozy; it must be that because he could not understand why he paid particular attention that day.
He could remember very clearly that he was paying more attention than usual, spending time just looking at her face, all pink and soft.
Her face was not too round and not too thin, just the right oval shape.
It looked sweet; she looked sweet. He remembered thinking if she tasted sweet too, he did not understand why he was thinking that, he thought that it must be because he did not have enough Ponta that day.
It must be the lack of sugar and the dimness of the classroom. It made everything rather hazy to him, even with his super eyesight.
He ignored the fact that even before that day, he had started to notice certain things about a girl's body, actually if he was more truthful, her body to be exact, not that he was worked up about it the way some boys would be. He just… noticed and then shrugged it off. It could not be that interesting if he could shrug it off.
Ryuzaki was not prettier than any other girl though her eyes did not glimmer with calculation like some of the other girls he saw looking at him; those he avoided like the plague. They gave him the unpleasant feeling that he was being stripped naked.
Ryuzaki's body was also not too outstanding; it was trim and fit without all the muscles even though she trained. He suspected she spent half of her training time fallen down and getting up again. He would not put it past her.
She was always tripping one thing or another. He noticed that about her, oh, and he noticed that she was always lost.
He noticed that she was not too bright in class as well, though she worked hard and was a good student but that was because of her own efforts and not any natural talent.
He noticed that she would go to the library if there was no club practice that day. She used to spend those afternoons watching the regulars practice… no, she had once confessed shyly that it was him that drew her. Later she thought that since he never seemed to notice her, she would rather spend the time trying to study.
He noticed even if she spent her afternoon in the library, she would come out just as the regulars finished practicing. She would say goodbye to him softly and he would answer, then she would smile softly and leave.
He noticed so many things about her but he rarely talked to her.
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He did not think of her regularly but he would just see her when she was around.
That day, she was not only the only one around but she was right in front of him.
They were sitting at the same desk, across from each other, and she was peering at him with a worried expression. He had spaced out again.
Her forehead was gently puckered and without thinking; he said that his mind was still woozy; he lifted his hand and smoothed her frown away. She was supposed to be all soft and smooth; there, that looked better.
She blushed again and he had thought that her face must be hot with all the blood going there.
He had not noticed that he let his hand linger on her cheek until he knew that her face was hot.
He was somewhat surprised and he thought that he must be under a spell. It was strange and peaceful; neither of them spoke.
She tried to but no voice came out.
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He had not understood this crush she had on him.
They were not close and yet she would do things for him.
She would support him at games and ask after him. She would make food and ask him if he wanted some; he always said yes because she was a good cook and there was no point in refusing free food.
He noticed that she always looked happier after he ate whatever it was that she made.
He never suspected that she would put weird ingredients in it.
He suspected everyone else's though, after some stories told by his senpai-tachi.
Eiji-senpai said that he had once passed the cooking classroom while there was a class in there and his eyes, those extraordinary eyes, had spied a girl secretly mixed in some of her own hair in the saucepan and had chanted something.
He recognized that same girl going up to Momo at lunchtime with a bento. Momo had accepted it happily and when the girl had left, Eiji had popped out and told Momo what he saw. They were freaked.
After that, all the regulars became wary about accepting strange food from any girl. He was the same but for some reason; he always ate Ryuzaki's food.
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He was always someone to take action when he wanted to, rather like a cat, people had said. He did not mind because as long as he got what he wanted, what people said never mattered.
He remembered that she had trembled slightly when he started to stroke her cheek absentmindedly.
It was so soft, like velvet, very warm velvet and he had thought that he might have decided to do this sooner if he had known how comfortable it would feel.
Suddenly she stood up and started stammering something about needing to hand in the class journal and other nonsense.
He had narrowed his eyes in annoyance. He had been enjoying himself and he did not want her to go.
He caught her wrist and pulled her down onto his lap. He had then resumed his stroking, his eyes half-shut with pleasure.
She had squeaked, "R-R-Ryoma-kun?" She had tried to get up again but was held tightly by his other arm which had snaked around her waist.
He never knew that a girl could be so soft, or was it just her?
Suddenly an image of Momo-senpai and his stupid father had popped out and they were saying stuff like, "Tell her you like her!" and "If you don't, someone else will be doing this to her!"
He never listened to these two when it came to girls but that moment he was fully awake at the thought of someone else stroking her cheek.
He was surprised by the nasty feelings it evoked. He did not like those feelings but at that moment, he was more concerned about the 'someone else'.
He was wide awake now and he was also aware of what he had been doing.
He may not have understood what it meant for him but he did understand that when he wanted something, he had to get it by himself.
He put her down from his lap and stood up facing her, "Ryuzaki, become my girlfriend."
She had squeaked, "What!" and her knees promptly gave out and she slid down to the floor, looking up at him with unbelieving eyes.
He had followed her progress with amusement and knelt down in front of her, "Become my girlfriend, Ryuzaki."
She had stared at him and just as sudden as his words, drops of tears started to trickle down her cheeks.
He was flustered now and not knowing what to say, had pulled her into his embrace. She tensed but soon put her arms around him tentatively.
In between her sobs, he could hear her say, "H-hai…"
He was pleased, ridiculously so. That day they did not have practice and he walked her home, holding her hand.
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When everyone found out, he had to put up with a lot of teasing.
Momo and Eiji had teased him about being in love and he had answered, "I'm not in love."
They had thought that he was being shy but at that moment, he was serious. He truly believed that he was not in love. He merely did not like the idea of someone else touching her.
To him, becoming a couple with Ryuzaki did not change anything.
It just gave him the right to touch her and hug her and kiss her. He liked all of these and he liked to do them with Ryuzaki because she was so gentle and soft.
He did not change the way he acted and neither did Ryuzaki. They still had lunch with the same friends and sometimes she would look at him with a strange look but he never thought about what it might mean.
He still did not know what it was that made two people a couple.
For him, it was just that she was his girlfriend and that was it.
Well, he did start to walk her home each day because she would wait for him until after practice and it seemed like the right thing to do.
He did not especially want to see her because she was always there. He would say that he did not have the chance to miss her until she became ill and was absent from school.
That day was not a nice day.
He kept unconsciously looking out for her and when his friends teased him about missing her, he realized that what he was doing was missing her.
He immediately went into self-denial mode and when he was on the rooftop trying not to miss her, her friend, Osakada came up.
He usually made it a habit to avoid her because she was loud and noisy and utterly too bold. When they were in junior high, he had learnt to just tune her out.
He was caught this time because she came up with the intent to speak to him and he could not leave without being too rude.
She had said, "I came up today because Sakuno was not here and I just wanted to tell you something, Ryoma-sama."
He had just looked at her.
She continued, "I am not asking you to give me an answer or anything because I know that you like Sakuno."
He had not liked her words, thinking why did everyone have to say that? He did not like her, he just liked being with her. It was different, wasn't it?
She said, "Ever since I first saw you in our first year in junior high, I have liked you a lot. I just want to end my crush with a kiss. Just one kiss so I can treasure it and put an end to this crush."
He had been surprised but he had shrugged and thought that since it was just a kiss, what harm could it do? Besides, he was mildly curious if it was only Ryuzaki's kisses that were so sweet or maybe other girls' kisses would taste just sweet.
For him, it did not mean anything because he was only curious and if one kiss could put a stop to her yelling "Ryoma-sama", then he reckoned that he had a bargain. So he kissed her.
How was he to know the timing was crap because Ryuzaki saw them and ran off. Then there was the accident and she disappeared.
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His hell began.
He started to miss her like crazy and he would ask Ryuzaki-sensei to tell him where she was but she always looked at him with disappointment and shake her head, saying, "Let it go, Ryoma."
He tried asking Inui-senpai but he could tell nothing because he knew nothing.
He always had to avoid Osakada but now, it was her who avoided him.
Momo-senpai had asked him about it and he told him. Momo-senpai had been shocked that he had cheated on his girlfriend but he did not think that it was cheating.
He told Momo-senpai so and Momo-senpai had shook his head and said that he now understood why Ryuzaki-sensei did not tell him anything.
Well, Momo-senpai had understood but he did not and no one explained him, not that he asked.
All this time, he had been worried and frustrated and his world seemed upside-down. He did not know why. He could not understand it. He was in a constant state of confusion and not even playing tennis could totally clear his mind anymore!
Out of all the confusion, he was just aware of one thing and that was he wanted to see her.
With that thought, he stepped off the train and made his way to Rikkai Dai.