"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." - Abraham Lincoln
Chapter 15 - Noveria: Peak 15
"Wreckage ahead, and quite a few heat signatures.", Ashley reported on the radio. "This looks like a roadblock to me. The crew of that Grizzly there never stood a chance."
I remembered an image of that wreckage, I think - and the burned remains of its crew.
"Would've been too easy otherwise. We don't have time to fight them one by one."
"Shepard?" I asked. I didn't like the tone in which our Commander was speaking. Not at all. "You sure that-"
"Everyone, hold on tight, we're going in. Make sure our shields stay up!"
And then, this madwoman let the engine rev up.
"Well, that was... rougher than I expected. But at least we're there. Everyone okay?"
Nobody replied immediately. As soon as the sickening feel of weightlessness in my stomach had become manageable, I came back to my senses.
"Flight attendant? May I have… a barf bag, please?"
"Shut… your mouth, Raven." She probably tried to make it sound annoyed, but the weakness in Ashley's voice and the fact that her face had the signature blanched-green to it ruined every attempt at pulling authority.
Liara made it simpler. "Humans.", she groaned.
Not having any window showing the outside made Shep's mad dash towards Peak 15 even more nauseating. But I guess what happened was that she had decided to just run over the road block. And the Geth manning it. And most likely the heavy Geth armature behind it. And the secondary road block. And the… well, you get the idea.
Unfortunately for us, Shepard had seemingly forgotten that this Mako wasn't fitted for her antics like our own. There was a reason why Garrus and I had spent somewhere between fifty and a hundred hours to increase crew safety and armor plating back on our own Mako; which I had jokingly nicknamed "Commander Proof."
But, back to the topic.
"I'm afraid I will feel this tomorrow." Even the calm and collected Kaidan showed signs of distress, rubbing the back of his head. Slightly worried, I removed my seat belts. "Do ya need a checkup, LT?"
"No, no, I'm fine, Raven, thanks. Just a bruise." He gestured to the four of us that were not on any stations. "Get out, take a look at our surroundings. Check for damage."
"And stay alert", Shepard added.
I happily obliged, slammed the big button on the rear and followed Liara, Wrex and Tali outside.
Almost immediately, I heard my armor's heater kicking in. And even then, I felt how the raging blizzard tore the warmth from me.
Visibility was fairly limited, not more than thirty meters.
"Mom was right… I should've brought a sweater." Kaidan commented, before shivering. "Brrr… Wish we could pop off some incendiaries."
I merely looked at him as he stepped out.
"No, Raven. Just no."
"As you wish…"
"We won't be able to stay out here for long, Commander.", Garrus reported in. "And I hope that you've got a good vehicle insurance."
I turned my gaze away from the Skadi Mountains - I wasn't able to see much anyway - and followed Garrus gaze instead.
Let's just say that I was happy that we were still able to drive that thing. The entirety of the suspension, at all six tires, had taken damage. One of the wheels itself showed a deep scar - and the front hull was deeply embedded in a Geth defensive turret.
Suspension and tires, that we probably could repair - but getting all the dents, scratches and ruptures up to shape, plus the paintjob? Unlikely.
"Naah. The Noveria Council should consider the expenses we're causing to be a fair and just punishment for their lack of cooperation." Shepard left the Mako last, examined it for a second, then gave the massive front left wheel an affectionate pat.
I rose an eyebrow to myself.
"Garrus, Red, get the Mako up and running again, and set the VI to defend this front entrance. Should we've overlooked any stragglers, I want them to be targeted automatically. This tank should be able to do that."
"Understood, on it." As we kneeled next to one another, patching up the damaged tire with omnigel, I deactivated my radio and laughed quietly into the howling snowstorm.
"And you, Garrus Vakarian, did call me a madman."
"Just because Shepard is one as well, does not mean that you are - what is this human expression - off the hook, Jess Raven."
To that, I laughed loudly.
We had done the best we could, with our tools being limited and the constant danger of freezing to an icicle looming over us. And with yet another a burning Grizzly-transporter behind us, without question filled with charred corpses. Lovely. Noveria's clean-up-and-cover-up crews would need to get paid extra for this.
Anyway. The Mako would hold together and bring us back to Port Hanshan if necessary. But it certainly would not withstand another beating like what Shepard had put it through.
Not the worst thing in the universe. A brief call to our ship made my squadmates from 905 ready up our own tank; ready to be dropped in should the need arise. Joker was confident that he could navigate the ship close enough to drop our own Mako into this storm, and our actions plus a bit of diplomacy and the threat of a larger Geth presence right in their backyard had gotten Hanshan security and their council to allow our ship to operate within the planet's atmosphere. After a lot of hard thinking that should've been unnecessary, and had only ended after we reached Peak 15.
Too little, too late to redeem their incompetence in my mind, but at least it was a comforting thought that our backup was only minutes away should things go south even more than they had done already.
"Tell Shepard that it's difficult to stay in contact - a lot of white noise on your end." Joker added. "It's almost knocking out your uplink. Hanshan Flight Control keeps saying that the snowstorm is the culprit - tsk, my ass. That's a hyperlink radio jammer. It won't hurt your short-range-comms, but you'll likely drop out of contact as soon as you enter that base."
"Understood, Roger that, Joker. I will tell Shepard, but I think we stick to plan A. You guys don't hear from us within four hours, send in our marines. "
"Understood. The weather report suggests that this storm will die down within three hours, I should be able to drop the Mako right onto you if things go south. Not without scratching the paintjob, though. Stay safe down there, hatchling."
"With all due respect, Flight Lieutenant: Eff Off. And thanks. See you when we're done here. Raven, out."
Shepard didn't have anything to add, and so, we regrouped inside Peak 15's hangar bay; Only a few steps further and we got company for the first time.
But the small garrison of a few Geth troopers plus a single krogan fighter didn't prove much of a challenge.
"That's it. Bag 'em and tag 'em.", Kaidan concluded, changed assault rifle to pistol and let his shoulders crack as the ghostly blue light around him and Shepard vanished. She nodded in response, but kept her guard up.
"There will be more, no doubt. Let's go; we need to strike them fast and hard."
If Shepard was showing signs of being extremely attentive, I was certainly showing signs of increasing paranoia. That undoubtedly came from knowing what else was awaiting us here. And I wasn't too keen on getting puked on with highly volatile acid... again.
"User alert." Suddenly, an artificial female voice was coming from the speakers. "All Peak 15 facilities have suffered a great deal of damage. Biohazard materials present through facility. VI user interface offline."
"We'll need to get the reactors back online.", Tali concluded.
"Yes. Follow me, stay alert."
"On your five, as always, Commander."
The first obvious sign that we had about matters being about to become problematic - well, more than the usual amount of 'problematic', anyway - were two automatic turrets in a small airlock that we had to pass. Which my squadmates noted straight away.
"Why are those turrets facing the wrong way?"
"... They want to keep their people in, as much as they want to keep others out." Liara gave Tali a worried look. Wrex was on point, as always.
"Wanna know what's even more unsettling, T'Soni?" Ashley asked, quietly, and approached one of these turrets, took a quick glance and turned around."They're powered down. Someone took out their power grid."
"... We better get a move on, fellas." I replied, soberly. To that, the Chief replied by rising her rifle.
Our path led us through a few corridors and an elevator - as soon as we stepped out, a wave of frosty air hit us.
It was a desolate image - with the entire station running on reserve power and the outer hull in pieces, Skadi had wasted no time to try and reclaim this part of her realm with merciless grip. Again, a very poetic phrase, maybe. But the way ice and snow already covered the majority of concrete, equipment and leftovers made one think.
A pointless exercise that ended as soon as I saw Geth signatures appear on my HUD.
"User alert. All Peak 15 facilities have suffered a great deal of damage. Biohazard materials present through facility..."
"I swear to god, if this damn VI keeps saying that, I will find a way to make it hurt." Ash snarled. Understandably. Having that message squawked from damaged speakers, only seconds after a pretty intense firefight. I had just finished my work on Garrus' armor - he'd taken a Geth Snipers round to the stomach, but thankfully, it had not punctured. With a nod and a pat on my shoulder, he pushed a fresh ammo block into his sidearm and went into a combat stance.
"Stay cool, Williams." Kaidan couldn't hide the tiniest of smiles, knocking some snow off his pistol. "If having a VI endlessly repeat some generic alerts is the worst we'll encounter -"
"Stop!" I said loudly. Incidentally, we stood in a circle, just like in the game. Almost like one, we brought our guns up.
"Have you seen something, Raven?" Garrus asked quietly.
"Shh!"
I looked up, closed my eyes and listened intently.
No.
I was not hallucinating.
I opened my eyes again to find Shepard looking at me. "You've heard that as well, haven't you?"
"I think so, Commander." Bringing my rifle up and slowly sweeping the ceiling, I continued slowly. "Some metal parts are creaking here..."
"Animals? Wind? This place is in a bad shape…"
"Probably debris. Don't have a panic attack. I'll protect you." said Wrex, slightly amused at Liara's continued worry.
That changed, as I found the window I was looking for and started to bellow.
"Over there! We got company!"
Then we all heard the rachni scream.
And suddenly, we were surrounded.
I took cover by vaulting over and behind a massive table, entered a crouched stance and opened fire on the swarm of insects trying to drown us in numbers.
"Raven! Torch that place!"
A red position marker showed on my HUD, and quickly I dropped my rifle, readied an incendiary, and with wide throw plugged their entry point with fire.
I couldn't stop to admire my work - I pulled my pistol and shot a lone Worker, just before it could jump me.
Not this time, buddy! I thought, grimacing into my mask.
The rest was gruesome, but very much under control. I counted five scorched bodies and two more tally marks on my rifle.
Once the last Rachni Soldier disintegrated to Shepard's Warp, a very much out of breath Ashley asked the question we all had.
"... what were those?"
"Damn if I know." Wrex moved closer and glanced at the remains of one Rachni whose body had been torn in half by one of Garrus' rounds. "But someone on this mountain does."
I looked at Kaidan. He looked back, inclined his head, then spoke.
"We have seen them before. One of these insects almost took out Raven and I."
Shepard froze.
"The LT is right." I added, seeing an opportunity to shift some balances. "Which brings up even more questions. 'Cause now that I think about it, didn't they also have one of those Creepers that we later saw on Feros?"
"... how is Cerberus linked to all of this?" Garrus joined Wrex and inspected his work. "They are a terrorist group, as far as we have learned - but they are pro-Humanity. They wouldn't work with Saren. Especially not since everyone knows that he hates your species."
Our commander bit her lower lip - as I had learned, a quirk that was a telling sign that something didn't quite fit. "We won't figure it out here. Let's find those scientists, and anyone else still alive. As Wrex said - someone on this rock knows more."
"Let's just hope they are still alive…"
Tali's very quiet, almost inaudible comment got everyone to increase their pace.
We proceeded to restore Mira, Peak 15's VI, by letting Shepard press buttons and Tali assist with the actual hacking. All in all, not that interesting, although I still had to grin at that classy one-liner with which we were met - "It looks like you are trying to restore this facility. Would you like help?".
Looks like that stupid Microsoft Word-97'-paperclip did indeed make some pop culture impact. Only '90 kids will remember. And not 2090 either.
As Shepard asked for Benezia, I could barely contain a laughter, and I wasn't alone.
"Is there an Asari here?"
"There is an Asari I cannot identify standing right next to you."
"How you tolerate literal-minded VI is beyond me." Liara groaned.
Shepard ignored her, although a grin tugged at her lips. "The creatures we've encountered here. Did they come from the labs?"
"I'm sorry, Commander. Inquiries related to our research require Privileged Access. Only executives of Binary Helix have that level of clearance."
I dramatically leaned over to Garrus and, with an outstretched hand before my mask like in a bad comedy and a loud whisper over my speakers. "Also known as: Spot-on, Commander."
"I told you already - sometimes you need to shut up, Raven." he replied, but his voice held mirth.
Anyway, back to the task at hand. A lot of "User alert!" messages later, and with a reactor fixed and connections restored, we were now able to push further.
A lot of dead rachni and disabled geth were left in the wake of our advance. The rachni were disoriented, and were the geth even trying?
Or maybe our teamwork had just grown to the point of giving us all near invulnerability. And instead of just Shepard plus two, all of us had walked into the fray - and with the experience we had gained, we had become a damn effective machine of death.
Even I played my part in it. And I was very proud of that. Something I never thought I would (have to) be.
We left the damaged components of Peak 15 behind us and took the tram to Rift Station, where we had the majority of personnel holed up.
It was a nice and quiet ride. Although it didn't feel like it, as everyone was half expecting some other BS to happen. Right until we met Captain Ventralis and the few men left in his command.
I relaxed, temporarily. They wouldn't stab us in the back - yet.
Ventralis looked tired; worn out by the constant fighting around him. Long shifts and stims. My sympathy was limited; I stealthily checked his dented and dirtied armor to check for weaknesses I could exploit later.
But now we had a lead on Benezia; the hot labs. Down the emergency elevator, into the glacier, into the heart of the infestation.
"Okay." Shepard nodded. "We have work to do."
"Yeah, I hear tha-…"
Screeching, from below me. I gulped..
Oh crap. I forgot about that.
"Man the perimeter!"
The ground I stood on vibrated, and I jumped away as quickly as I could before the grille I stood on burst away to reveal three more bugs. Fortunately, they went down quickly, but not before slashing one of the remaining guards at his arm. He grimaced and hissed - that strike cut right through the thin ceramic plating.
"Well, that was nice." I commented as I stood up, breathing heavily.
As much as I disliked handing out an advantage; I walked over and handed the injured guardsman a dose of medigel. But I didn't spend any time on actually giving him a full treatment. There was no point in wasting time on someone we might have to shoot later anyway.
Raven giveth, I thought, sarcastically. Raven taketh away… Medic and marksman. What a combination. I'll make sure you're feeling good before I shoot you.
Before descending, our squad went over to check on the people that had found refuge inside this makeshift fortress. Signs of combat were omnipresent; but it wasn't nearly as bad as Feros. The people that had lost friends, loved ones, sustained injuries or died would disagree, though.
A minute later, we met Alestila Iallis.
As much as I wanted to put a bullet through her skull and end it right there, the situation just didn't allow for such a thing. So, I folded my hands behind my back, listened in as Shepard had to deal with the unpleasant arrogance that this wolf in a sheep's pelt spouted all over us and remained silent.
"Do you know anything about Matriarch Benezia?"
"Why ask me, and not your friend?" she replied, faking cluelessness.
"Because I do not know anything about the Matriarch." Liara answered firmly.
"Then why would I?"
It wasn't until we reached the elevator leading to the barracks area that I spoke up.
"... 'Why would I'... We better watch that one. I don't trust her. I think she recognized Liara. "
"Watch out that you don't get paranoid." Shep turned around, looked at me, and folded her arms. "Although, should you be right, I actually wouldn't be surprised. Liara?"
Our Asari shook her head at the unspoken question. "No, Shepard. I do not remember her. But I never knew all of my mother's closest acolytes."
"Plan A, then.", our CO concluded, righting herself up and took the lead again. "Be ready for anything."
Turned out, my companions weren't quite ready for everything.
Han Olar, the volus who was the only one lucky enough to make it out alive had obvious signs of PTSD. It didn't need any closer look to hear the exhaustion. The way he described his colleagues death. Emotionlessly he described how he had fled, how he had made it to the tram, how he had closed the door behind him, she had banged on it - before being sliced into pieces.
And then, he dropped the rachni.
"Rachni? That's preposterous!" Liara couldn't believe it. Everyone recoiled. Except me.
Shepard stayed cool. She had to. "How did they get here?"
"They found it in a derelict ship. *ks* An egg. *ks* Waiting since the last battles. They brought it here…"
"Shut up!" A human scientist treating his turian companion shouted from the back of the room. He looked angry, but also fearful. "Do you want to get us all killed?"
The Volus turned around. "I don't have any control over who lives or dies here." he exclaimed, gravely. "*ks* Do you?"
The turian flared his mandibles. "If you wanna be crazy, be the quiet kind!"
"Crazy? *ks* I'm sane." He fell into a whisper. "God, am I sane."
There wasn't anything we could do. This was a case for a therapist, not a combat medic.
As soon as we were out of earshot, Kaidan exhaled sharply.
"Rachni? And I thought this day was intense already."
"Is that even possible?" Tali looked to Wrex. A lot of eyes followed her gaze.
"No." Our battlemaster sounded grumpy. "My ancestors have wiped the Rachni from this galaxy! But…" And he sounded unsure, in an agressive kind of way, "My blood boils hotter whenever we fight those… things. Could they... be the Old Enemy?"
"Can we keep existential questions for later?" Ashley interrupted him, visibly annoyed.
"Agreed." Garrus said, curtly. "Clock's ticking."
The last one we talked to was Dr. Zev Cohen. And that was the worst of it all.
"Tell me again why we're trying to cure some idiots that are choking on their own bloody bioweapon?" I asked, annoyed. "Sounds like bloody karma to me."
"Raven, what is up with you?" Shepard calmly asked as the containment seal closed behind us.
"This is fucking Feros and Earth all over again." I replied, less loudly, but no less intensely. "Some businessmen and scientists thinking that people are toys to play with for profit. I'm tired of it, want to see the entire place burned down and the guys in charge hanging from the gallows. That's the long and short of it."
"I know, Raven." Shepard turned around and placed a hand on my shoulder. Her face only held calm strength. "But our mission comes first, and by healing them all, we may be able to gain ourselves a vital advantage."
To my utter surprise, she even winked, and her lips showed signs of mischief. "Besides, by creating this cure, I will record all the processes needed to recreate it. And then, I'll send the recipe to the Alliance medical corps. That will turn Binary Helix' multi-million investment more or less useless - on top of gaining them a hell lot of judicial problems."
"I… may have not looked at this from that angle, Commander." I replied, stunned.
She smiled, let go and turned to the lab table. Helped by Liara, Kaidan, a VI and the scientist's data, it was surprisingly easy for Shepard to synthesize that cure. It took seven minutes. Seven minutes that we others spent on guard, nervously checking the entrance and the air ducts.
"Okay; we got it!" Shepard finally sounded satisfied. We turned around to take a look. That was our first mistake.
When the lock hissed and opened, none of us had their guns ready.
"Your mission ends here, Shepard." Alestia Inallis said, reeking of smug superiority. With two other Commandos and four heavy geth behind her, she had every reason to. In her mind.
"I thought she seemed odd." Tali deadpanned. Intentionally or not, it was difficult to tell.
"What happened to Ventralis' man?" Shepard asked, already knowing the answer.
"I didn't have permission to come in. He got in my way…" Her noxious smile caused my blood to run cold. I tightened the grip on my Mattock, lined up the sights and sorted my targets.
The three asari first. Closest to you, center, left. Leave the geth to our heavies. Flashbangs will harm us more than them, you pull an incendiary, and you're dead.
"I was ordered to eliminate you, should the opportunity arise. And here you are, trapped in this lab."
"Just a quick question." I asked loudly. "What makes you think you clowns will fare any better than the other hundred that we took out today?"
My attempt at trash talking fell spectacularly short.
"You're exhausted." She explained, calm, unfazed. "The lesser mercs were expendable obstacles, but they served their purpose. And we were personally chosen by Lady Benezia herself. We will not fail her."
"She picked wrong." Wrex said, dismissively.
"Weapons free!"
Our second mistake was that we were clustered up. When the three Asari opposing us combined their biotics, collateral damage followed.
Myself included.
I had my gun up before Iallis even ended her order and slammed her shields with three rounds. But then, I failed to notice a cloud of dark matter heading my way. Really fast.
One of the other commandos sent me flying. And I was not quite as lucky as I was in the Cerberus base. I had barely enough time to press one button before I made contact.
I impacted in some very unforgiving steel lockers. I blacked out briefly, and then the adrenaline surge kicked in. With the drug helping, I barely dodged fainting. A certain death sentence, no doubt. Still, recovering enough for my senses to function required valuable seconds. When I had a grasp of the situation, I was in shock.
Two geth were down and out. One Asari was bleeding heavily. But four of us had been felled.
Only Shepard, Kaidan, Wrex and Liara were left standing. And our four biotics unleashed all hell upon our opposition. But it wasn't enough. They were being pushed back.
Glancing around quickly, my confusion only increased. Tali, knocked down, but no obvious injury. Garrus fighting to crawl behind cover. Ashley…
I don't know what happened there. I just… lost it, I guess is as good an explanation as any. But how do you react when someone you have learned to appreciate, whom you may consider a friend, is on the ground, unconscious, and bleeding heavily?
I had to do something. And with my rifle knocked away in the fall, there was only one option. I pulled my trump card.
The syringe hiss was still echoing in my ear when I pulled myself up. Only then did they realize that I wasn't out yet. Unfortunately for them, they had already pushed too far in, leaving their flank open. One of the unnamed commandos shifted her aim at me, but then she turned from blue to violet and her movement slowed down.
I jumped.
There is a turian saying, pretty famous in our day and age, although used in a rather cynical way these days, given the things that have happened since Noveria.
"Asari commandos are the finest soldiers in the galaxy. Fortunately, there aren't many of them."
It was suicidal. Under normal conditions, any asari should've been able to take me out easily. The things that saved me was that I caught her off-guard, she didn't have her biotics ready, and that my reflexes were now enhanced.
Still, she deflected my first blow. A blunt strike to her head with my left hand wouldn't do it. This misstep allowed her to fire her pistol at me, almost point blank - but what little of my shield was left held together.
Then, my left gauntlet finally shone orange. Almost mechanically, I followed Shepard's training instructions to the latter.
From below her waist, below her cover, I only had to make one move.
The sickening sound of my omniblade tearing through flesh for the first time, and the ugly feeling of twisting the blade around in another being's stomach to maximize the damage dealt. I will never forget that.
The asari merely stared at me, as I pulled the blade from her innards. We returned to real time as I gripped her head with my right. Purple blood briefly covered the orange light, before the searing hot blade vaporized it into thin air. What were in those eyes? The strange lifelessness… was Death already coming for her, or did I see the effect of indoctrination?
"...now close your eyes," I hissed, "And say goodnight!"
Nausea filled me, but I buried my blade in her chest again.
And again.
And again.
Then she slouched onto me. With one last move, I kicked her from my blade, which finally shattered. She slid down. And stayed there.
Instinctively, I crouched. While she had been alive, the commando had shielded me from her buddies' line of fire. With that advantage gone, I was now exposed and still unarmed.
And Iallis had no intention to let her prize slip from her grasp. She screamed as she saw her friend go down and rose her pistol to finish me off. I merely stared.
An angel with a shotgun saved me. Commander Shepard, engulfed in blue light, danced over the battlefield and slammed into my would-be-executioner.
And as Iallis was still fighting for her balance, Shepard mercilessly brought her shotgun up. And the commando was still only wearing a labcoat.
A single blast removed the asari's upper body from existence.
Deafening silence surrounded us once more.
I attempted to stand up. Which ended in my dropping onto both knees and sickness and heat overwhelming me.
"You okay, Raven?"
"... Die sind alle tot. Mich gibt's noch. (They're all dead. I still am.)" I replied, feeling oddly detached. It felt like my face had turned wax. Like my limbs were no longer part of my body. Like I was floating.
"Shit!" She ran over to me, took my head in both her palms, then removed the recon hood with swift motions. Cool air hit me. As did the stench of fresh blood and guts.
"Kaidan, detox!"
"Top-right chest pouch!", I heard from somewhere.
My Commander worked on my vest, found what she was looking for, and then I felt a sting. It pushed me from my agony, and I looked up in surprise.
Then, every single vein in my body caught fire.
I screamed. My vision went black, and my arms were flailing uncontrollably.
Someone gripped me firmly, allowing me to vent the pain without dealing damage to myself.
It lasted only for seconds. Then it died down as quickly as it came.
I regained my senses, and through a veil of tears I saw that Shepard still held me firmly. Her green eyes conveyed no emotions, her flaming red hair was glued to the face with sweat.
"Th-Thanks, Shep." I choked. I had overdosed my stims, and going for the most radical detoxification I had in my arsenal had been the only way to keep me from going into a toxic shock.
I was surprised again.
Shepard hugged me tightly.
A few moments passed before my overtaxed mind caught up with what was happening. More out of reflex than anything else, I returned the hug.
Suddenly, everything seemed to calm down inside me. Not for romantic feelings, may be a strange surprise to a lot of still very hormone-driven teenagers, if I may be allowed this sarcastic assessment.
But there was something more powerful than that. The knowledge that she was a friend. Someone who pushed me hard, harder than I had thought myself able to, but had my back when I needed it most.
In this moment, the fear and anxiety of the ever-looming Reapers, of Virmire, of myself and everything else was gone.
I didn't think about how a Paragon Shepard would be forming her squad, leading by example, taking care of their emotional needs and instilling undying loyalty in them. I ignored all the analytical stuff that usually ghosted in my head.
I just felt it. And maybe, that was all I had needed.
"... I just wished you would give me less of a headache, Jess Raven." she said, and even though I couldn't see it, I felt her grin.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Jane Shepard." I replied, smiling one of my rare genuine smiles.
We separated. Still kneeling, Shepard checked me over once more. Then, the smile faded, and our gazes became equally focused. In silent understanding, we nodded and rose.
There was still work to be done.
I hurried over to help Kaidan, who had removed the Gunnery Chief's chest and torso armor plates and was treating some bullet wounds close to her throat.
"You need help, LT?"
"Yeah. Check her vitals, Raven. Tell me if you're seeing the same as I do."
I brought up my tool and hurriedly linked up to his medical programs. This looked extremely serious.
Then I hesitated, eyes wide. "I'm seeing that as well… but…" Then I laughed hysterically.
"What's happening?" Shepard had finished her check-up on Tali (no injuries) and ran over to us, after hastily instructing her, Garrus (who got away with uncomfortable bruises) and Wrex (krogan, simply a krogan) to guard us. "Is Williams recovering?"
"She's asleep." I deadpanned, with a lunatic grin.
"... what?" I rarely saw Shepard stunned, but this one was just brilliant.
"Gunny here is taking a nap, Commander." I giggled. "No coma, no unconsciousness - honest-to-god sleep."
"...Ashley Madeline Williams," Shepard took a look at my charts which proved in clarity what I was describing, before shaking her head in disbelief, "Is one tough daughter-of-a-gun." That even sounded respectful.
"Don't tell her when she wakes up, Commander," said a very relieved Kaidan, "but this woman never ceases to amaze me." He had completed his work. "Doctor Chakwas should do a proper checkup, but it looks that the rounds have only penetrated surface tissue. A lot of bleeding, but no lasting injury. She can continue."
My hysteria receded only slowly. "And here I am, going all-in to save this woman's sorry ass," I giggled some more, "And she thanks me by sleeping in. What the hell."
"... I... thank… you anyway, Raven."
The groggily voice startled me a bit, but my grin only got wider. "Good morning, princess. Now get the eff up."
"... Watch yourself. That's some real' insubordination there." She opened her eyes, still a bit sleepy. She first looked at me, then at Kaidan.
"...Seeing anything you like, LT? Buy me some drinks first."
I burst out into another laughter at that sleepily-seductive voice. A fact that wasn't helped by how Kaidan's face suddenly lit up red.
Shepard should probably have called her out. But all she did was to shake her head some more.
"As soon as you can move, Williams, we should relocate to the crew quarters. Fifteen minutes of rest. We need it."
I sat down next to Ash, who was righting herself up - Kaidan was suddenly much less inclined to help - opened the latches holding my vest in place, took out my drinking bottle, some emergency rations and threw the rest to the ground.
"Supplies here. Grab 'em as you need them. Don't touch the chest pouches though, unless you want to set off fireworks of are interested in getting stoned." I shouted. Then I shared a look with Ash, who was now reattaching her armor.
"We're in for some crazy-ass madness, aren't we, Sarge?" I asked quietly.
"It's still Chief, Raven. But yes, we are. Hell, we are."
The much-needed break, the energized water and the stale-but-filling rations refreshed us. But I could still feel just how much had already happened that day. This was my first long-term mission. Therum had been a quick hit-and-run mission, on Feros, I didn't have to go the full distance, but now here on Noveria, it showed clearly that while I was effective enough for our usual plethora of short missions, I lacked some stamina to go for full-distance missions. With what was still waiting for me in the future, I made a note to work on this aspect of my fitness when we returned to the ship.
Regardless, with everyone patched up, a bit recuperated and re-armed, we were now ready to tackle the last part of our mission. And the fact that I now had to carry around five kilogram of material less wasn't hurting, either.
We found the guards dead body - good in my books. One less to stab us in the back.
And we found Han Olar again, or rather, he found us. He told us where the Geth and the Asari had come from, told us that we needed to talk to a team leader - like our potential war-criminal Doctor Cohen - to access the maintenance are to plug that hole. Or more.
Dr. Cohen, in return, was very grateful about our cure… but shocked to hear the news about that asari 'scientist'. He spilled the beans on her being put into place by one of the stockholders… it was too easy to count two and two. Saren was a crafty bastard, I have to give him that much credit.
He also warned us that the guards had been on edge even more after our arrival. As if they were expecting us. Which could only mean one thing…
"Should they oppose us…" Kaidan asked, icy calm.
"We try to talk." Shepard replied, firmly. "But should that fail…" she trailed off.
"Lethal force authorized." the LT finished, unfazed. And checked over his pistol for good measure.
These guards were not supposed to betray us anymore. But well, what did that count for…?
As we finally pushed into the hotlabs, through tunnels of ice stained with dried blood and guts, our patience and endurance got rewarded at last. The opposition we met as we stepped out the elevator threw itself against us with quite some zeal. They stood no chance.
We cut off all escape routes on our march forward. The Matriarch had nowhere to run, or hide.
She didn't looked like she wanted to, though, if I'm being honest.
Benezia stood calmly, hands hanging by her side, and looked down on us. Radiating coldness and calm. Indifference, even.
"You do not know the privilege of being a mother.", she said. I knew this line, of course - it just goes to show how mighty her presence was that I still felt a chill. "There is power in creation. To shape a life. Turn it towards happiness... or despair."
She moved her left. And suddenly and only then did we notice the presence of the Queen.
"Her children were to be ours.", she continued. "Raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies."
She strode a few steps forward, confident, strong. "I won't be moved by sympathy. No matter who you bring into this confrontation."
Shepard, solemnly, shook her head. "Liara's here because she wants to be. Not because I asked her to."
The young asari to her left was visibly moved.
"Indeed?" That wasn't a question. Not really. "What have you told her about me, Liara?" A frosty taunt.
"...What could I say, mother? That you're insane? Evil?" Shepard's hand left her shotgun's foregrip and carefully touched Liaras shoulder, which Benezia noted with mild interest and Liara didn't seem to notice at all. Too deep was the sting of seeing her mother like this, and knowing what she stood for.
"Should I explain how to kill you, what could I say?"
The daughter almost cried the last question. The mother didn't even move a muscle, the only sign of response being how her eyes flicked back to Shepard.
"Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have…"
"That's all you got?" I asked, cockily, but tense. A single glance from Shepard silenced me.
"I can't believe you would kill your own daughter." She moved slightly, to shield Liara. The younger asari shivered. I couldn't see, but rather feeled her raw emotion.
"I now realize I should've been stricter with her."
The same moment she rose her arm and lit up blue, I had my hand at my chest. As she made her gesture, I tossed an object and yelled.
"Eyes!'
As we were frozen into place by the Matriarch's power of will, a flashbang exploded right in front of her.
The best way I can describe what followed is… as a 'battle of attrition'.
Garrus and I broke off together, making a mad dash down the corridor to the side, around the Rachni queen's pod, constantly hounded by biotic impacts and rifle fire. I tried my hardest to keep his back clear as he grabbed his sniper rifle, taking down a few commandos and geth as Garrus put his talent to excellent use from the cover of the lower catwalks.
One after another, they fell. Directed by our commander, our team showed off the skills drilled into us like a well oiled machine, with the play between Shepard's and Benezia's orders creating a seemingly well choreographed but no less deadly dance. Only, we danced better. Push, retreat, bunker down. Breaking line, splitting up, then tightening the noose.
Three times, Benezia called in reinforcements. Three times, they were repelled. Where being cornered had hurt us earlier; the space we had available to maneuver here helped us avoiding casualties from flanking attacks, and fortunately their indoctrination seemed to slow them down, hindering their ability to coordinate properly.
That's not to say that we walked away easily. I alone took two more injuries - a strained neck when I was hit by a biotic 'Lift' and a shot to the leg. Nothing that I couldn't treat myself, but enough to make me feel discomfort. But this was the beauty in training and experience… a greatly increased pain tolerance.
And whenever our lethal dance allowed me a glimpse at Benezia… I took a shot.
Finally, their reserves seemed depleted.
We regrouped and approached the platform Benezia stood on, her back facing us and staring out of a window. Blood, pouring in small rivlets from three bullet wound, staining her black-and-grey dress with droplets of purple. Yet, surprisingly, she stood defiantly as she turned around and gathered what was left of her biotic reserves once more. This moment, I had an idea, and activated my omnitool. Tapping two buttons, I lowered it again and returned my attention on our enemy.
"This is not over." She exclaimed, sound almost unconcerned by her wounds. Almost. "Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear."
"The rachni didn't cooperate. Why should I?" Shepard asked, not even needing to catch her breath.
At that, Benezia glared at her.
And then her expression cracked.
"I will not betray him. You will- You…"
Suddenly, her lifeless eyes were alert, aware, and the ice in her frame seemed to melt.
"You must listen! Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions. Briefly. But the indoctrination is strong."
"Why are you able to break free of his control now?" Our Commander kept her gun up. Benezia saw it, and a shadow crossed her face.
"I sealed a part of my mind away from the indoctrination. Saving it for a moment when I could help destroy him. It will not last long."
"So, you will turn on us again." I concluded, but lowered my rifle.
"Yes." The matriarch and I locked eyes, and even from this distance, I saw the pained expression. "But it will not be my will. People are not themselves around Saren. You come to idolize him, worship him. You would do anything for him. The key is SOVEREIGN, his flagship. It is a dreadnought of incredible size, and its power is extraordinary."
"That fits what we know, Commander." Ashley spoke up, hastily.
"Sovereign's not like other ships.", our Commander acknowledged. "Where did it come from?"
"I cannot say. The geth did not build it. Its technology is far more advanced that that of any known species. The longer you stay aboard, the more Saren's will seems correct." She sounded bitter, angry at herself, disgusted even. "You sit at his feet and smile as his words pour into you. It is subtle at first. I thought I was strong enough to resist, instead, I became a willing tool, eager to serve!"
Hopeless, but strong. That's all I can say about how she sounded. Defiant, proud, and yet succumbing.
"He sent me here to find the location of the Mu Relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago."
She spoke at length about this portal. About how it had been moved by a supernova's blast, with an unknown trajectory and unknown speeds. How this system happened to be inhabited by the Rachni. And how she had taken the knowledge about its position from this revived queen. And that she wasn't gentle.
I tended to switch my brain off whenever dialogue like that happened that I had heard before. Not this time. I was hanging on every single word Benezia said, enthralled by the charisma this woman radiated, now free of the Reaper's will, even while on Death's doorsteps.
"You can still make it right," Shepard said. "Give me the information."
"I was not myself, but…" Benezia replied, quietly. "I should have been stronger."
As she walked forwards, unsteadily, my urge to help became too strong. I grabbed after my medigel reserves - but an outstretched arm blocked my path.
I exchanged a gaze with Kaidan. He shook his head. Reluctantly, my left went back to hold the Mattock's front grip.
"I transcribed the data to an OSD. Take it. Please!" She tossed it to Shepard, who caught it easily.
"Knowing the coordinates is not enough." Liara was trying to be calm, but failed. "Do you know where he planned to go from there?"
"Saren wouldn't tell me his destination. But you must find out quickly. I transmitted the coordinates to him before you arrived."
Then, her hands went to her head, and her voice became desperate. Pleading. Urging.
"You have to stop - me. I can't - His teeth are at my ear. Fingers on my spine. You should - you - should -"
"Mother! Don't leave me! Fight him!"
Liara's pleas were heartbreaking. But her mother walked away, to increase the distance between herself and us. But then she turned around for a final time. Her eyes held tears.
"You have always made me proud, Liara." Then she shielded her face from us. Desperation, anger and dedication set me alight. I raised my rifle, no longer bothering to only go for injuries anymore.
The Matriarch slowly faced us again. Her eyes were dull. And as her biotics went into overdrive, as the last wave of Saren's puppets stormed into the room, she uttered a single word.
"Die."
As soon as I knew that I was out of danger, I ran to Benezia, ignoring the last smoldering resistance form the few reaper thralls left standing .
Slouched against a window, her body was broken. No less than ten bullets had hit her. The blood loss was substantial. Without treatment, she would die within minutes.
"Hold on!" I said quietly, putting all of my charisma into my voice. "I still got medigel, I can -"
"No."
She said this with all the strength she had left, in a voice already cracked and filled with pain.
I froze mid-movement. Then I lowered my head. I had expected nothing less.
"So, that's it?" I asked her, defeated, as my squadmates approached, but kept a respectful distance. Liara kneeled next to me and took her mother's hand. She sobbed.
"Is there no fight left? Has Saren beaten you? Are you just - giving up, Lady Benezia?"
"He's still in my mind. I cannot get rid of him, I will never be myself again."
I expected her to be angry at this challenge. But there was nothing. We looked at each other. Strangely, in her last moments, her eyes shone… warmly.
"I have lived for a thousand years. Death, does not concern me. After those long years of pain, the Goddesses warm embrace will be a liberation. I can finally let go." She smiled, despite her labored breath. "Maybe, one day, you will understand."
I bowed, out of unfaked respect.
"This may sound, well… the galaxy will know that you fought. You will be remembered, Lady Benezia."
Benezia smiled at me, but with a sad note. "Thank you, child…"
Her vital signs were fading quickly. But still, Benezia rose her hand. To touch her daughters tear-stained face. "Mother…"
"Good Night, Little Wing… I… will see you again… with the dawn..."
Her breath quickened dramatically.
Her heartbeat became erratic.
Her hand fell.
"No light?", she murmured. "They always said… there would be…"
I had to fight the lump down my throat. But then I spoke again. As tenderly as I was able to.
"... but there it is. Can't you see it?"
"...ah…"
Her last breath.
And then, Benezia T'Soni's head fell on her shoulder.
She closed her eyes, and a calm smile would cover her face for eternity.
Liara broke down. How she had been able to hold on, I don't know. But now, the only thing to be heard was the sound of her cries. She clutched her mother's body firmly, as if she would never let go.
Carefully, I placed my hand on her back. But then I looked over my shoulder.
Shepard stood there. Watching. Uncertainty turning her face into a blank mask.
I had a good idea of what was happening in her head right now. And so, I gestured for her to come over.
She remained glued in place, the inner conflict now obvious in her features.
I frowned. This was ridiculous. I was supposed to be the immature one here.
Again, I bobbed my head towards Liara, this time with more vigor.
Finally, Shep went into motion. Slowly.
I let go of Liara, and rose.
Shepard kneeled in my place and began to talk to Liara, quietly, so that not even I could understand, before cautiously placing her heavy glove on the young asari's shoulder.
I nodded to myself, grabbed my rifle, turned away and walked over to my teammates. They all glanced at me, with various level of understanding, but mutual respect.
"... They will need some time." I said, almost whispering. "I suggest that we check for whatever evidence or intel may be left, and ready up for extraction."
Ashley nodded, followed by Kaidan, then Tali and Garrus. Wrex gave me a long, hellish gaze, then wordlessly turned around and walked to some lockers and tables on the far side. The rest of us spent a couple of minutes on yet another round of patching us up, rehydrating. In almost absolute silence, not wanting to disturb Liara and Shepard.
Then we, we split up and went to work.
I myself went into motion and, drawn like a moth to the flame, closed the distance to the pod in the mid, where the Rachni Queen faced me.
Unfazed by the low screeching sound she made, I leaned against the glass and closed my eyes.
It was unlikely to work, but I wanted to try it regardless.
I emptied my whole mind - which, as some cynics would say, didn't take much - and searched for something. Anything.
Can you imagine my surprise, my excitement of indeed finding the tiniest flame in some corner of my mind?
A taste of colour. Only barely noticeable, like a spoonful of sugar in a glass of water.
I wasn't trained in meditation. But I still tried to focus on this, this tiny spark, and read it.
I could not.
What I could decipher, were emotions, very weak. An echo, if you will. Trauma, Hurt… Uncertainty...Interest? Hope?
I heard shuffling behind me and knew what I had to expect. Opening my eyes and thus breaking the weak link, I turned around. Seeing the zombified asari rising was still… unsettling.
"Commander…" I said aloud. That set things in motion.
"What will you sing?" The rachni-asari asked. "Will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?"
Shepard remained silent for a second. The Queen had just told us her story. Her part of it, anyway, urging us to 'silence' her children that had gone insane. My squadmates didn't share my placid state of mind. Well. Having a rachni queen speak though a near-dead asari… If you weren't ready for it, that would be the logical response, I guess.
I wouldn't know. And my first playthrough was far in the past.
Shepard was still in thought. That gave my six teammates plenty of time to voice their opinion.
"There are acid tanks rigged up on that thing. Set them off!" Wrex was as aggressive as I ever heard him. "Millions of my ancestors died to put these things down. Don't let them come back."
Ashley and Garrus made their agreement known.
"They made a mistake.", Liara countered. She was in control of herself once more, but it would take a long time for those puffy eyes to heal. "They let the Krogan go too far. This is our chance to atone. She did nothing wrong." Tali and Kaidan nodded to this.
Shepard remained silent, still. This was too obvious.
"Three for, three against. It's down to me, huh…" I muttered.
Nobody commented as I walked past Shepard to the front, to the glass. The queen's pale grey, yet glowing eyes seemed to have no pupils. Yet still, they appeared to be fixed on me.
"... I don't think we want to commit genocide now, do we?" I asked, sarcastically. "She hasn't been a danger to us. She has sounded sincere. And who are we to end an entire species? Let her go, Commander. Maybe she can help us later."
"Are you stupid?" Wrex was not happy. "Your people didn't fight these bastards, so maybe you don't get it."
"Says a member of a species," I countered slowly, "That has been subjected to a similar treatment."
"No, this is not similar at all!"
"Cut it, both of you." Shepard spoke patiently, but with her full authority - which was enough to shut me and Wrex up.
She had made up her mind and walked over to the control panel. "I won't destroy your entire race. You'll go free."
The image of that faked queen from ME3 faded from my mind, and I exhaled in relief. That would've been a grade-A catastrophe. I never really doubted that our Paragon-leaning commander would spare the Queen… but had this uneasy feeling with me for too long.
But maybe, just maybe, my presence had tipped the scales? I would have to be more careful from here on out.
"As Raven said… I too, would like to have the Rachni on our side in the future."
"Arh. Do what you want. My people will clean up this mess later, just like we did for the salarians."
"If I would follow through with what you're saying, Wrex," I replied. "I would have to agree with the Genophage. I would even say that compared to that, the Genophage has been a gentle treatment. I do not."
I openly returned his blazing gaze. A few months prior, he would've caused me to back down. I had hardened, though - and was absolutely convinced of what I was saying.
He averted his eyes first. Still not contented. But he didn't say a word.
"You will give us the chance to compose anew?" Even by proxy of her puppet, the Queen sounded… excited? "We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children."
"Great. Bugs will write songs about you. Mark my words. You will regret this."
I didn't even bother to reply to Wrex' grumbling.
We watched in silence how the pod was lifted out of the room, how the dying asari slouched to the ground, like a puppet whose strings had been cut - and how the Queen embraced her new freedom, to once more see the Rachni rise to the stars.
We'll meet again, I thought, solemnly. Hopefully not under the circumstances I am anticipating.
There was still one more thing to be done - to grant the Queen her wish, and silence her estranged children for good. And by doing that, saving these sorry scientists and their lab coat-covered asses.
It was pretty much straightforward from there on out. Going to the right part of the hotlabs, meeting that russian scientist, Tartakovsky, learning a bit more about these bugs, and activating the neutron purge to clean up the mess they all had created.
I earned some Karma points for pushing Tartakovsky out of the way and saving him from being impaled and tossed like a ragdoll. He was grateful and showed that by running out of harm's way… which was probably the smartest thing to do, given that even we had trouble to hold the area for 120 seconds. At last, the explosions went off… and we were, finally, done there.
Contrary to my belief, we actually left the area without being bothered by the rest of the ERCS guards. Shepard chose to extract quickly - a few of our injuries, Ashley's especially, were starting to be more of an issue. Planetside, we couldn't do much - Dr. Chakwas had to help. And frankly, I think everyone just had enough of this cold hell.
We left the facility as quickly as we could, without saying 'Goodbye' or leaving our postal address. Fortunately, the Mako had indeed been able to deal with the few geth stragglers that had followed us - the VI log confirmed fifteen kills without any damage received. I secretly made a copy of the VI's targeting program.
Maybe Garrus would able to use it to - and I hate to say it - 'calibrate' our own Mako accordingly.
Shepard drove the damaged tank back to Port Hanshan. It took much longer than before - partially due to the damage, partially because there weren't any robots left to be run over. And with her driving style, I'm not even sure if I'm joking. We parked it back in the garage, then boarded our ship before anybody noticed.
Two last notes that I received as our ship left the docking bay confirmed that Miss Dorning would survive indeed. A very flowery message from her boyfriend and a much briefer, yet still very grateful message from Captain Matsuo were testament to the skills I had been taught. I smiled at a good deed well done, as Dr. Chakwas attached a few tubes to my arm to infuse my blood with antitoxins.
I wasn't alone in the medbay, and not the one with the worst condition either. Ashley and Garrus had taken quite the beating, Tali needed to check over her suit, Liara needed moral support and wasn't present - neither was Shepard, take it for what that's worth. And Kaidan's biotic amps were all but burned out, and his headaches had grown to a level that forced him into a pill-induced sleep.
Needless to say that we weren't quite in any shape for a proper debrief. That, Shepard kept for when we all would be fully healed. We medics and our grey-haired boss would have our hands quite full over the next few days.
With top-speed, the NORMANDY sped for the Citadel. A good thing in my books.
I needed a drink, and a talk with a certain someone.
"... there really was nothing I could do." I washed away the bitter taste of defeat with another sip of whiskey, a bit more than a week after we had left that spirits-forsaken place. "Her body had numerous injuries, but nothing that I couldn't treat - her mind however was just... broken, I guess. She didn't want to live anymore."
I sighed.
"At least she stood strong until the very end. And she broke free for long enough to give us a real shot at stopping Saren. Whatever she had been in life... may her soul rest easy, knowing that we will do whatever it takes to make sure she hasn't died in vain." I rose my glass and took a sip.
A pair of steely blue eyes, similar to mine, followed my every gesture intensely. Then, slowly, the head they were attached to nodded.
"Was she as impressive as she was in the game? In real life, I mean?", Crow asked quietly.
I sipped again, thinking of a good reply.
"... Had I been born as an asari, I would've been humbled and proud if she'd decided to take me in as an acolyte. In just the few moments when she was actually in control of her mind, she managed to leave me impressed - and I'm not easily impressed. It felt as if she radiated every single year that she had lived - and all the experiences of a millennium. Does that answer your question?"
He leaned back, slowly, shaking his head. "Verdammte Reaper."
To that, I wholeheartedly agreed.
He took another swig, seemingly deep in thought. But then he laughed quietly. "If Aethyta is anything like her former bondmate..."
"... Shepard is in for a hell of a time." I added, and for the first time, I grinned.
"So Femshep slash Liara is actually canon?"
"Both of us are here. This can't be canon anyway."
"You've got far too much spare time, if you're able to think about that." He took a deep swig from his glass, but otherwise showed no sign of annoyance at my remark.
Satisfied, I swiveled my glass and watched the cubes of ice dance. Then I glanced to our side.
The Flux was buzzing with life, as always. In a place as political and diplomatic as the Citadel, alcohol was always in demand, and The Flux delivered.
But even in an environment this crowded, this diverse, the table to my right caught my interest.
A young human man, maybe my age, was sitting there, his side of the table filled to the brim with datapads. The few I could look at properly showed some technical schemes - I recognized ballistic charts - and excerpts from the all-encompassing Codex.
The human wasn't the interesting one, though. On the other side of that table, an elcor towered over everything, on all fours of course, casually sipping a colourless drink with what Tali would've called an…
"Emerrrrgency. Induction. Port."
"Hm, what?"
I bobbed my head towards them. "Do you happen to know what the story of those two guys is? They're... well, interesting."
"You find a lot of things... interesting."
"Aren't we both too old now for this cheapest of cheap sarcasm?"
"You can never be too old for that. Ask Wrex. Or Aethyta." He looked back at me.
"Seriously though, I've seen them a few times here, and actually, once or twice back in the Mannovian. As far as I can tell, that guy there is tryin' to publish a novel, present-time - but he always gets the tech-blabbering wrong. And that elcor there seems to be a walking, talking codex when it comes to technology."
"He doesn't look like that." His relatively light grey skin colour was, as almost always with Elcors, contrasted by his colourful clan/herd attire. Only this particular specimen had taken it up to eleven, with every part of his clothing having a different colour. 'Arm' braces in red, 'leg' braces in blue, a green and black 'rug' on his back. And a white skullcap rounding out the picture.
It was an effective image, to say the least.
Crow rose his hands and gestured exasperatedly. "You're not lookin' like a soldier either. Yet here we are, Private."
"Touché."
I emptied my glass, crunched the remaining bits of ice with my teeth, grimaced when the coldness hit some nerves and placed that thing back down.
Then I exhaled loudly.
"Writing a simple short story. Like I used to. March of 2015, before this whole mess started. Now that sounds like a nice little vacation from all the stuff that has happened so far. And that, that was only the tip of the iceberg."
"Vacation does sound like a good idea. You look terrible."
"Thank you."
"More than usual, I mean. I can see the wear and tear."
"Yeah…" Closing my eyes briefly, I felt a distant, yet omnipresent tiredness creeping through my bones. Always looming. Staved off for now, but not forever.
"Tell you something… I will be glad when this first campaign is over. I've learned a lot, I've made good progress… but I can never drop my guard. Not for a single second. And slowly, this is driving me insane. I need time. I need to arrive in this universe, live in it for a while, get more used to it - then, maybe, I can rest a little. The time between missions just. Isn't. Enough."
"I feel you. I mean, I need to be careful as well - but that doesn't compare to being surveilled constantly."
"Exactly. Always under someone's watchful eye… and knowing that there are Cerberus agents on board doesn't help either. And even when I sleep, I can't rest - Am I talking in my sleep? Is someone checking my belongings? Has someone caught you? Have I been compromised? And at the same time I need to worry about what I can do to alter things in our favor."
Crow put down the empty glass. His tone held authority. "Stop it. You're worrying far too much. It really is that simple. Your top priority is to keep your cover intact. Number one, no doubt. Then you can worry about everything else. From my perspective, we're doing good on our way to reach the optimal outcome for ME1. Getting yourself killed is not an option!"
I knew what he was referring to, and replied equally annoyed. "This is the plan, it either works, or it doesn't, but I will stick to it. What else am I supposed to do? Put something in one of their drinks, replacing them and have Shepard decide between myself and the other instead?"
"How about not putting yourself in harm's way? Sabotage the bomb, it's timer, whatever - "
"I don't have a deathwish, if that's what you want to say." I replied, more sharply than I intended. "But you can bet that I won't send other people to do my job. I have that much confidence in myself, thank you very much. And even if I could, without anyone noticing... merely sabotaging the bomb will allow Saren to keep producing troops. Unacceptable."
He breathed in deeply. But before he could speak, I pulled a small OSD from my jacket and held it right under his nose.
"We should get to work. We need a lifeline to you, should everything else fail."
"Is that…"
"Yes. That, is going to be my testament. Or rather, our last resort."
Crow took the disc carefully and watched the club's lights dancing on its surface.
"It's about to get real, huh."
"Yes." I said. My heart was beating faster, my palms became sweaty, but I said it firmly nonetheless. "If I fail, I'm dead. I don't fear death… but I fear that everything will be lost, should I die and there be nothing to push Shepard into the right direction."
"My connection to Shepard is non-existent." Crow continued, slowly. "If you go down, I can't get close enough to continue our mission as normal. And Shepard has no reason to trust me. I would have to put all cards on the table. And even then."
"Which means that I need to give you credibility… even from beyond the grave. Yes." I finished.
We fell silent for a few, long minutes.
"I'm not going to discourage you from what you're planning." He said softly. He didn't look at me at all, merely tapped his fingers on the table and looked towards the invisible speakers spreading the heavy beats across the club. "You know that that's the closest to a deathwish that you ever had. You know that your attempt at balancing your cover and still getting everyone out alive is a dance on razor's edge. I'll just ask you one single question. Is it worth it?"
I thought about it for a few seconds. My friend wasn't someone who asked such things without actually meaning them. Then I nodded.
"Yes." I laughed from a dry throat. "As I told you - had I not interfered to fight off the guys that had us cornered there in the quarantine lab, we would've had a Critical Mission Failure. The velvet gloves are off. I'm now part of it, and seemingly, Kriegsglück has placed part of the responsibility on me as well. I need to perform and do my duty, if I want, or not, right until the bitter end - right to that final push."
I my tone became more emotional. "Also... What kind of person would I be if I left Kaidan or Ashley for dead without saying a word? After all they've done to get my arse out of the line of fire? No. I refuse to stand by and let them pay the price for my silence." I switched to English and a solemn voice. ''Tis a soldier's duty, in this age of crisis - Death is a fate with which he dices…'"
"...'one wrong roll, and he may lay lifeless.'" Crow ended. "I see, you've discovered that author as well."
"Yes. Sage advice from a human born roughly a hundred years after us. Ashley quoted him, when we were back aboard. Who would've thought…?"
"World War Three must've been pretty ugly." Crow nodded. "I see your point, though."
"Yes. Shepard will save the one who's with the salarians. She just ticks like that, I'm certain. Many lives for the price of one. The one guarding the bomb lived for long enough to allow the NORMANDY to escape Virmire, at least in the game. I must extend the time this person has for long enough to allow Shepard to pick both parties up. I must stall the geth for long enough. And there's realistically only one way of doing that." I looked down.
"I just pray that I won't get everyone killed." I said quietly, feeling how my mask cracked. "Am I a bad person to calculate like that? With the lives of people that trust me?"
"May I have a cigarette?"
I looked up, surprised, but nodded and pushed one over the table. He lit up for both of us.
"Yeah, I didn't use to smoke - but I'm afraid working in the Lower Wards makes you pick up a few bad habits."
His attempt at light humor caused me to crack a smile, but wasn't enough to break the tense atmosphere, the grip of fear and panic around my throat.
He lit up, inhaled and blew some smoke into thin air.
"The calculus of war. The ruthless, bloody, calculus of war. Remember that one scene from ME 3, where Garrus and Shepard discussed the turian war assets?"
It took me a while to remember, but then I quoted, again in English: "Ten billion people die here so that twenty billion over there live."
"Precisely. And although Javik is surely one damaged individual, to say the least… he has a point. 'Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls, and ask the ghosts if honor matters.'"
"The silence is your answer." I nodded grimly.
"This is not the game anymore, my friend. This is real life. There won't be a guide to follow - other than what's in our heads, for what that's worth. You think it's worth it? Do it. We will have much harder decisions to make anyway, regardless of if you succeed, or not. We may as well start now."
"This is not an answer to my question."
"But it's all the answer you should need. From my perspective, it's that easy. You owe Kaidan and Ashley a lot. Letting them die is not an option for you. You're putting yourself in harm's way to change fate. Are you risking other people's lives? Yes, but you are not sending them to certain death. In my eyes, you're doing everything in your power. I still don't like this, but… You're throwing the dices with the best preparations we both could think of. How they land, that's down to you and Lady Luck alone."
I smiled, relieved. "Good to have you here, you know?"
"Yeah, yeah." He leaned forward, and looked me dead in the eye. "I just hope you've no unfinished business here."
"Heh." I lit up again, now calm. "I think that should I bite it here… I will probably be back in my bed, back in 2015. Likely with no memory of what has happened. Maybe I get to see whoever was responsible for getting us here, and ask them what the hell they were thinking."
"You don't believe that."
"No. I don't." I sighed. "But well, you may never know? I'm not religious. I don't believe in an afterlife, and I think that every single religion out there is deeply flawed. But well, who knows? Maybe I will be proven wrong, after all."
I exhaled again. The club atmosphere was choking me, a tiny bit. All those people dancing, without any clue that they were all dancing on a timed bomb.
"I mean, we ended up here somehow. There must be a reason for this. Why us? Why not someone else? Chance? Something scientific? Or Divine Intervention? I have no idea. Perhaps we'll never know. But this cannot stop us - without anybody to give us orders, we must do what we think is best. That's what I'm counting on."
I leaned back and took another drag, before steadying my gaze on the empty glass in front of me.
"But trust me on one thing." I gave my voice a steely edge. "I will do whatever it takes to make it happen. Somehow. Because I do not have, in fact, a deathwish. I've come too far for that, and I am not done here. Not by a long shot."
We fell in a somewhat comfortable silence, letting our thoughts flow.
A moment of peace and tranquility - that was harshly interrupted by a deep and gravelly voice from my right.
"Increasingly annoyed: A modern firearm does not work like this in any way. Exasperated: Do you even read the resources I gave you?"
His partner gestured, desperately, to the pile of datapads around him. "You've given me the entire history of firearms for the last one thousand years, mate! All I wanted to know is whether or not an assault rifle can be compared in functionality to a shotgun. And then, those texts about I think every type of steel used in the construction of spaceships -"
"Tiredly amused: Only the most important ones, and just enough to determine a solid comparison."
"- I don't need all of that! My readers don't need to know their resilience to the molecular level; all they need to know is that that's pretty hard stuff."
"Exhausted: They would probably know if you stopped putting so many grammatical errors into every chapter."
"Oh, come on."
"Sarcastic, with obvious enjoyment: I have left a complete list of every single mistake you have made in the annotations. And an extranet link to a very good spell checker."
The growl with which the human slammed his head on the table would've brought a Krogan honor. "I need a drink. Triple-filtered whiskey. Without. Ice."
"With sardonic joy: I am completely fine here." The Elcor returned his attention to his straw.
I returned my attention to my counterpart. Crow stared at them, with various signs of interest.
"It's like this every time.", he explained. "And they continue to amaze me."
I chuckled. But returned to seriousness immediately after.
"Before we go ahead… There you go." I tossed him a package of ten, hand-sized electronic chips. He caught them effortlessly. And nodded. "Do they work as intended?"
"Yes. Elkoss Combine, ten à five thousand credits each. Heavily encrypted, considered forgery-proof even by the volus. Which means: No ID required." I lit up one more as well. "Was surprisingly easy. Took me two hours of research back on our ship; and effectively 45 minutes here on the Citadel."
He stowed the documents in his pockets. Fifty-thousand credits weren't something you wanted to let people know you were carrying. Especially in the lower wards.
"Good thinking, by the way." I remarked as I took another drag.
"We'll see." He smiled. "But you have to agree - if anything will give us certain profit, then it's pouring our money in there."
We had to start thinking long-term. And one of those thoughts was that we needed quite a bit of money. You don't fight a galactic war without having hefty amount of resources at your disposal; and although our options were limited up until now; with what both of us had pooled together, we could create a solid foundation to build on.
Crow had come up with the idea of pouring credits into a few chosen arms companies. A cynical, but logical line of thought… with the Citadel coming under fire, the heart of the so-called 'central sectors' threatened, the Citadel defense force basically wiped out and the Alliance needing to step up as the fourth council race; it was easy to foresee an economic crisis. So, what would people invest into?
We had split the risk somewhat. With the pay I had gotten until now, plus some thousand credits I had managed to… 'liberate' during our missions, plus a small part of the resource scanning bounty that Shepard had shared with us, plus everything Crow could put to the side, we invested approximately fifty thousand credits into Elkoss Combine stocks. The most likely contender for mass-producing thermal clips in the future. Those I had given to Crow, for him as a worst-case-scenario reserve. Myself, I kept roughly five thousand credits worth of stock in Hahne-Kedar. As the main supplier for the Alliance forces, they would undoubtedly be quite busy in the near future.
I had requested Liara's aid in this, and she - bemused, but happily - helped me out in setting up some transfers. The explanation I had given - that I wanted to set something up for me to escape my gang past forever - was satisfying enough.
"Alright. With that being covered… we should get going." I added. "I do in fact have one more unfinished business here."
Crow bobbed his head, extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray and rose. "Meet you in Tayseri Ward then. In forty-five minutes."
"Copy that."
He left Flux.
I exhaled some more smoke, thinking empty thoughts.
"Chapter four… Endgame." I murmured.
Then my gaze fell to our neighbors, and I grinned.
Ah well, why not.
My cigarette stub joined Crow's, then I walked over to the bar where Jenna greeted me with a smile.
"This is for the drink, and this is for you. Would you mind telling me what that Elcor over there has?"
Two minutes later, a drink in each hand, I approached their table. Both of them looked up, the human now with a red patch on his forehead where he had banged it against the table, the Elcor still with that straw in his mouth.
"For you, on me." I said, grinning. "Both of you look - and sounded, quite loudly - like you could use some refreshment."
"Thanks, mate." The human sighed and nodded as I put another glass of ice-cooled whiskey next to him. "This'll be a long day."
"Amused: I agree.", the Elcor added. "With surprised gratitude: I appreciate this gesture. Thank you."
"You're welcome." I laughed quietly. "When you're done, send me a copy. Sounds like a read I'd be interested in."
"Okay… you're certain nobody can hear me here."
"For the fourth time; yes, for now." Crow gesticulated wildly. "Now get started. We don't have much time until some random guy will walk past."
I didn't want to tell him… but nobody would walk by here. I was sure of it.
"Good. May I ask you to stand guard, in that case?"
He shrugged. "Sure, okay." He walked out the alleyway.
With a strange feeling of 'fate' washing over me, I positioned myself behind some familiar crates.
The last time I had been here, I had been in panic, in obvious clothing, and a fresh arrival to this madness.
I had returned.
I placed the small disc on one crate close to me, made sure that it faced the right way, activated it and waited.
Seconds later, a blue light appeared.
I inhaled deeply. Then I spoke, quickly, but calmly.
"Message begins. To whoever finds this, this is a message for Commander Shepard of SSV NORMANDY and her squad. It is encrypted to her SPECTRE codes and will only correctly play in her presence and should only be opened if my, PFC Jess Raven's, status is MIA or KIA. Commander, this message is for you, and you alone - but I guess it won't do any harm should you decide to share it with our squad. Your call. Message ends."
I waited for a few seconds, then started anew.
"Message begins. Hello, Shepard. I guess you are surprised to find this last greeting, this way. Of course, should you receive it, I guess it qualifies for a message from the dead. A strange thought - but then again, in those last few months I've seen enough strange things. But this is not the reason I'm leaving this."
I closed my eyes, then opened them again and looked straight into the lenses that recorded my three-dimensional image, imagining them to be a pair of green eyes.
"I know you as a very strong person, Commander. You aren't easily shaken, I have seen it myself. But what I'm about to tell you will be difficult to believe, even by our standards. I can only hope, and beg, that you will hear me out to the end, regardless of how mad you must be at me. I hold vital information; information that may win us this war. And I am not talking about the Eden Prime War; I am talking about the war against the Reapers."
I took a step back, looked down, and up again. "Surprised? Probably not much. I know that you're suspecting something at the time of this recording. I tried my best to uphold my cover, but I know that I made a few mistakes. Still, I guess it's a fair assumption that you still don't fully understand who I am. I… was thinking about taking this, my last secret, with me in my grave; but I owe you and all the people that have been with us on this journey that much. Again; you probably won't believe me at first; but I implore you - listen to me. Trust me, this last time. And see for yourself."
I breathed heavily, but my gaze remained steady. "Allow me to properly introduce myself. 'Jess Raven' is an anagram, made from my real name. The name my parents gave me, when I was born in 1994. My name is..."
A/Ns: Happy 4th of July, all you people in the USA!
I've tried my hardest to complete this chapter for this day, as a small 'Thank You!' to you guys across the 'pond'. You make up for the majority of my readers; and given that I was gone for half a year, I think this chapter compensates for that a little.
Have I overdone it? Ah, maybe. Then again, I do not apologize for being in a writing-induced hypnosis and compiling this chapter in a single month. That being said, I realized once again why I usually require more time…
The sole reason this chapter is not a total catastrophe is, once more, your one and only 5 Coloured Walker! And I finally had the chance of giving back a bit… even though a little tongue-in-cheek, as I tend to do. Have you spotted him? :)
I had to promise him a later appearance with tank-grade weaponry. I'll see what I can do.
Anyway… yeah. 14.000 words is… something. And I actually wonder if it's too much. What do you think in regards to chapter length? I'm a huge fan of writing larger chapters instead of small 4k-5k word ones, but even I agree that this is maybe uncomfortable to read. Let me know.
Also, a small - not issue, but thing I've noticed from a few people that have contacted me via PM, wondering why some of Ravens actions appear inconsistent.
Keep one thing in mind: Raven is not an omnipresent and neutral narrator. What he says will, inevitably, have some flaws. Some of them are due to my writing - some of them are, in fact, intentional. I'll leave it to your imagination to fill the gaps (but still call me out if I make obvious blunders.)
Oh, and lastly - credits to Dan Bull's Rainbow Six Rap for the quote with the 'dices'. That man just knows what he's doing.
That...should...be...all? I think. Don't expect to hear from me that soon, a lot of stuff on my plate - but I am now more confident than before that I can start serious work on ME2 before this year ends.
Alright then! Thank you again for reading! Please give some thought to fav'ing, following and especially leaving a review. See you around!
P.S.: This is 5 Coloured, writing this as all beta'ing is done. Glad to be back with you, I'll be sure to stick around as long as I can and maybe poke Raven. Don't feel shy if you think you've noticed something I've missed. If nothing else, you could be right, and then RedRaven will get to poke me with it. It's only fair he gets some revenge.
At least, more than making me an Elcor. It's been a couple of days and that's still stuck in processing.
Last edit: 02.08.2018 - Improved polish and wording; plus what I think is a very solid improvement on the scene of Lady Benezia's death. And I can finally start poking 5CW. Happy day.