"All great and extraordinary actions come from the heart. There are seasons in human affairs when qualities, fit enough to conduct the common business of life, are feeble and useless, when men must trust to emotion for that safety which reason at such times can never give." - Sydney Smith
Chapter 16 - NORMANDY: Eye of the Storm
I spoke for half an hour.
I spoke quickly, rattling off a list that I had compiled earlier.
I told Shepard all I knew. About Ilos, about the Reapers, about what secrets the Mars archives held to end them. About Cerberus. About myself, and Mr. Crobis.
About the Shadow Broker, and his hideout. About Jack Harper - The Illusive Man, and Cronos station. I painted a rough sketch of how Virmire was supposed to play out, all to add as much credibility to my ramblings as I could.
I warned her to always watch her back, as Reaper pawns were never too far away to strike. I informed her of the Reaper carcass in orbit around Mnemosyne, the Collector base hidden behind Omega-4. And the Bahak solar system, which had the potential to ruin Shepard's name forever. But I also made sure to let her know that maybe, it was a trap in more than one way – after all, if you never play that DLC, the outcome in ME3 is almost exactly the same...
The Collectors, Their masters, their scheme, their 'duty'. To save all organic life - by destroying it. I told her that the Avatar of Vengeance was awaiting her on Eden Prime, and the Prothean's that might still be living in cryopods alongside him. It was only a small chance, one I didn't believe in myself - but should it come to the worst, it could only help to check as early as possible. As long as Javik and the rest would not end up in the wrong hands...
I revealed the secret of the Citadel - Conduit, Crucible, and Catalyst. I talked about the Leviathan. And I told her where to look for the evidence we so desperately needed, material that should be enough to push the Council into the right direction.
I didn't hold back anything, although admittedly, I never used the word 'videogame'. I just didn't want to put special emphasis on it all being knowledge 'from a game', which I figured could only hurt my chances of being believed.
"So, yeah..." I breathed. "This is all I know. These are the places you can, and need to look at if you want proof. Looks like that rambling scientist guy on Eden Prime was right, huh? Almost forget about that one. I think he may be indoctrinated as well, so maybe you should get a hold of him, see if you can find a cure for Indoctrination. I'm not aware that such a cure even exists, but that doesn't mean anything. You still have time. Not too much, though. Two and half a year. And every day counts."
Staring against the grey wall for a second, I finally gave a slow nod.
"Yes. I think I've warned you of every major thing that could go wrong. And, Shepard, again... find Crow. You must trust him. Because now, he is the only one left alive who has the same amount of knowledge that I do."
I shrugged, warily. "I've told you everything I know. My job here... is done, it seems."
Exhausted, I sat down on a nearby crate. Glancing at something in the distance, I sought a way to end this recording. And to explain myself.
"I can understand your anger, Shepard. " I said, staring into the recording lenses. "You must feel that I have betrayed you, and the whole galaxy. And at times, I feel the same. Maybe I should've told you right away."
I rightened myself up. "But ask yourself, would you have believed me? As much as I respect the amount of trust you have put into me, and all of us, I can't believe that you would've listened to me. And I especially don't put a lot of faith in Alliance or Council. Now you know, why. And even if, if everything would've worked out in my favor..."
I inhaled, and exhaled slowly. "... I just can't bring myself to tell you." I said, quietly. Quite frankly, ashamed to admit it. "This... adventure... is a chance that I should have never been given. Even now, after months, it feels so... surreal. I am excited, every time I wake up, knowing that the day will bring a new opportunity. To learn, and to... do something that actually means something."
I looked to the ground. "Have you ever tasted lethargy, Shepard? The fucking cesspit of indifference and apathy? Having to fight yourself for every small action, constantly questioning why you're doing it, what it matters in the great scheme of things?"
I paused briefly, followed by a snort. Putting all my feelings into words. Not exactly something I usually do. Or feel comfortable doing.
"It has been my companion for a long time. It makes you tired, and cynic. It makes you sick. The early 21st century wasn't exactly the best time to live in, let me tell you."
"Yet... since I joined your team, I have been able to hold it at bay. Everything I do here matters. Every small action is necessary, and has to be done properly, because if I mess up, you guys that rely on me will suffer for it. We share our success, and when we're down, we're helping each other up. I am proud to be a part of this... team. And without our work, many will suffer. Knowing that, and that you need to be able to rely on me, has allowed me to push myself - further than I ever thought possible, frankly."
"I have learned many things that I thought I couldn't do. I live a dream. And even now... well, if you're hearing this, I will have paid the price. And even now I'd prefer to die dreaming, if you get what I am saying. As soon as I falter, and give in, this dream is over. I will be placed in some secure facility, probably with decent food, and nice people... trying to squeeze everything out of me. Trapping me in a cage for the rest of my life. Because even after the end, they'd want to know how I knew ahead of time. Who knows what else I might know, right…?"
I chuckled dryly, without any trace of humor.
"And I'm lucky if those people are Alliance. Even your status as a SPECTRE won't be enough to get me out of there. If you are really unlucky, they'll... get you out of the way. Permanently. Hero of the Galaxy, or not."
I shrugged and looked to the ceiling, in a grandiose fashion that conveyed all of my fatalism regarding the inner workings of the galaxy.
"Secret services, backroom politics, and the personal greed of certain people. They're capable of anything. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Right now a young woman is loose out there, forever damaged by what bloody Cerberus has done to her. If you indeed happen to hunt down the Illusive Man… Make him suffer for this. And all the other disgusting shit he's done. And let's not talk about what the STG... or the Shadow Broker are capable of, should they get me."
I finally gave in and grabbed for a cigarette, lit it up, but then threw it away after just one drag. "All things considered... there are worse things than going out in an explosion. I just hope that it was worth it. You be the judge of it."
My omnitool beeped. Surprised, I looked up. Then I smiled.
With a feel of sadness and longing.
"You're calling for us, Shep. You call us back to our ship, without any doubt to tackle Virmire, maybe another side quest as well." I rightened myself, trying to look as determined as I was capable of. I grinned, lopsided, without joy. "If you're indeed listening to this, you've just called me to my grave. No hard feelings. I've chosen this."
I stared for a moment, absentmindedly looking into the distance, then rose.
"So, this is it." I concluded. "I will do what I can to make it out alive. Should you hear this, it hasn't quite worked. But well, then it was meant to be. Keep going on, Commander. Let nobody and nothing stop you. I know that you're the one who can bring an end to the Cycle. And I'm not just saying this because I believe it. But because I have seen it with my own eyes."
I saluted. This time, genuinely, and without the mockery that was usually involved.
"And know that it has been an honor to help you, at least for this part of the way, all of you guys in our squad. My friends. There are only two things I regret. That is that I won't see all of you succeed, and that I will never get to meet the thirteen of us that we would've been calling brothers and sisters in arms."
"But well, so be it then. My time to leave this stage."
"Farewell, Jane Shepard. I will see you, and all of our friends, on the other side. Good luck. Make them remember our names."
"Message... ends."
I made a gesture. The recording ended.
I stood in this dark alleyway for another ten minutes. It was quiet enough that I could hear the tobacco leaves burning inside my cigarette - something strange in a 'city' like the Citadel.
On one hand, I felt… sad. On the other hand… relieved.
Sad, because it felt like I had already sealed my death sentence, and because images of everything I would not live to experience were swiveling around my mind. Relieved, because I knew that, should it come to the worst, the galaxy would continue to turn. And, likely, win.
But then, the will to live came back to me.
It's not over yet. This is merely a failsafe. You can make it out. You haven't learned from the best to fail now.
Feeling determined, I picked up the data disc and it's recording device, and left the alleyway where it had all began.
I would never return.
"Are you finished?"
The way Crow addressed me could've been considered annoyed. But if I had read his expression correctly, it was more than that.
"Yes. I've recorded everything. I can sleep a bit easier now. And I already have an idea where to hide it… should be rather safe. Garrus and I are the only ones that access that space anyway, given that we're the two designated Mako babysitters."
"Good." He chuckled.
"And Shepard has just sent us all a message to return to the NORMANDY within an hour. That's forty-odd minutes now."
"So this is it, hm?"
We had walked a bit down the main street. It was rather empty at this hour, halfway through the current 'shift'. It would be a few more hours before this part of the wards would come to life, with some people hastening to get to work, others to go shopping, and some just strolling back to their bunks.
"Yupp." I said, rather happily. "No goin' back now."
He exhaled. "Well then…" He turned to face me. We stared at each other for a minute. Then, a smile crept to his face.
He extended his hand, and I grabbed it for a firm, yet friendly handshake."If you don't try your best to get outta there in one piece," he said, "I will be both very disappointed, and very mad."
"Fair enough." I grinned. "But when you're done doing that, dress sharply and wait for that call. Ya don't wanna face a lady like Shepard while lookin' like you're straight from some trash bin."
Crow snorted. "I guess that will be my least important problem then. Good luck."
"Same to you." I looked down the alley, and let go of his hand. "Well, gotta go. See you on the other side, one way, or the other."
We nodded, one last time, in common understanding.
Then I took my leave, and didn't look back.
I spent my way back to the NORMANDY deep in thought, but just like so many times before, I was interrupted.
I guess it's fair to say that I was… astonished.
The view that presented itself to me didn't allow me to ponder the upcoming events, but instead served as a reminder just what kind of guys had been entrusted with safeguarding Humanity.
A bunch of complete and utter idiots, that is.
I had left the lower wards and entered the bright entertainment section of Tayseri Ward with the intent of crossing it as quickly as possible, as a shortcut to reach the Alliance docking bay by the lifts near C-SEC headquarters.
This 'cheaper' type of entertainment, involving pubs, dance clubs, and bars, tended to attract a lot of people, even in this time of relative quietness between shifts. Naturally, considering that this was certainly not the most lawful part of the Citadel.
You may imagine my surprise when, amongst all the other drunkards and people hungry for fun, I spotted both Flight Lieutenant Moreau and another member of our crew that I didn't quite recognize at first. They were just leaving some sort of a british-styled corner pub, among a few other mostly human patrons.
I'd say 'walking', but that would really stretch it. And that's not meant to be a mockery against Joker, it wasn't quite his fault that at this point in time prior to the Cerberus treatment, as he was forced to rely on a pair of crutches to move from one point to another. But rather the man whom he kept company.
You could see on your first glance that he wasn't exactly in the best shape of his life. Or, to use a German expression: He had quite a heavy listing, swaying to both port- and starboard like a sailor would in the midst of a thunderstorm. Another imaginary broadside hit him and finally caused him to trip, and fall flat on his ass. Fortunately, he 'dropped' fifty meters further down the path, and in a rather calm corner, not in the middle of that busy walkway. Furthermore, with all those other ecstasy-hungry people lurching around like nobody's business, nobody really paid any attention.
Still, I pushed a few people aside and slowly made way towards that pair. There was always the risk of some shady rascals trying some tricks, and I couldn't leave Joker alone with the trouble.
Leaning heavily on his crutches, our helmsman bowed down and talked to his comrade. Now, coming closer, I recognized the young gentleman on the ground as Private Second Class Martinez. One of two marines aboard the NORMANDY who had the questionable honor of being even younger than me.
I sighed, unceremoniously pushed a protesting asari out of my way and halted next to my fellow crewmen.
"Can I help you, Flight Lieutenant?"
Joker tilted his head towards me. His expression evidenced his relief.
"Raven! Good timing. Would you kindly help me to get this weakling here," he tipped his boot against the snorting man's side, "Back to our ship? I mean, before we're due to leave, and Pressley or Shepard go all "Oh boys come on the entire galaxy will burn because you were busy enjoying a drink or a dozen out in some shoddy bar?"
"By 'helping you', I assume you mean, 'carry him on my shoulders', right?" I asked ironically and looked Martinez over. He was physically fine. Aside from being utterly drunk.
"Well, as you probably have noticed, Raven, "Joker said, in his usual waspish way, "I'm not getting paid to drag some drunkards around the floor."
Neither am I, flyboy.
"No worries, Lieutenant." I replied, casting a somewhat sorrowful gaze at the downed marine. "You got grunts like me to do the hard work anyway." I added, sarcastically, but he ignored it.
As much as I wanted to make a snippy remark about Joker's brittle bone disease, for all the times he had called me a 'hatchling', bringing it up would've been too much.
Plus, he was still the guy in charge of flying the ship. And as the old saying goes:
Never shalt thou anger thy pilot, orst thou shalt be stuck in horrible places forever. Or something along those lines.
I bowed, grabbed young Martinez by his collar and shook him, feeling oddly indifferent at the whole situation.
"Oi, up on your feet, you sorry excuse for a marine!" I said, not quite shouting, but loudly regardless.
He merely mumbled something that I couldn't understand for the life of me.
"Get up, idiot! We don't have time for this!"
He, half conscious, turned his face towards me. The fumes of cheap alcohol engulfed me.
My indifference… lets say, waned significantly.
"Aufstehen, du verfluchter Penner!" (Stand up, you cursed dosser!) I yelled, directly into his ear.
His eyes went gaping wide, and utterly surprised, he actually managed to stand up on his own, but had to then heavily lean on my shoulder. I took him in a supportive grip, one that I usually reserved for the heavily injured.
I knew that would work, I thought, satisfied.
"Ss...ir." The 'downed' marine… disgorged, really, is the only word that comes to mind for the way he spoke. "I… aren't… we…"
"Commander Shepard has given the order to return to our ship, ASAP." I said, slowly. "We need to get you there, as soon as possible. Think you're strong enough to walk, Private?"
"Ssssure… lemme just, uh…"
"Forget it. I lead. Try to stay on your feet, you fucking drunkard."
I will be honest here, I've drunken my fair share of alcohol in my life, and occasionally I have really pushed my luck too far – with all the consequences. But I only ever was truly hammered in private, when there was nobody I could disturb, and I'd never pushed my luck so hard as to make a complete fool of myself.
As such, I found Martinez' behaviour to be disgustingly unprofessional. Three years younger than me or not, he should've known better. Maybe I was a bit too harsh - Shepard had called us roughly twelve hours too early, so my younger squadmate would've easily been able to sober up had things gone according to plan. But they hadn't.
And since the unexpected was always what you had to expect as a member of Shepard's elite, or as an Alliance Marine in general…
Getting drunk in and of itself was okay, nobody really cared about what you did ashore, as long as you remained coherent enough to respond to urgent calls. You could always sober up while your ship headed to the OP area.
Getting yourself so smashed that you turned yourself into a vegetable, was not okay.
"Joker, would you be so kind and contact Ash or Kaidan? One of 'em should know that it may take a while 'til we're there. And maybe they should send someone over to help me, this guy's getting very heavy very fast."
"No problem-o, Raven."
"And if you don't," I said, and grunted when my 'patient' finally started moving, "Bloody stop humming 'What shall we do with a drunken Sailor', I will strangle you with your own intestines. Sir."
The situation deteriorated quickly. PSC Martinez was constantly on the verge of collapse, and unfortunately even my loudest impression of 'angry German' wasn't enough to keep him awake much longer.
We must've made for a pretty interesting image, one human half-carrying another, and a third one on crutches moving alongside. Again, it was a good thing that we were off duty, without uniforms and thus not shaming the Alliance... More than usual anyway.
Plus, Joker kept his snark to himself. It showed me that he pitied me, at least a bit.
I will return the favor a thousandfold, mate. I though as I tried my best to keep the pace up. As difficult as it will be to keep my mouth shut when you meet EDI.
Fortunately, Alenko had indeed sent us some help. I grinned. It wasn't whom I had expected, but, oh well. In this situation, I wasn't going to reject any help.
"Hallo, Schraubenverdreher!" (Hello, Screw-twister!)
My countryman, Serviceman 2nd Class Michaelis from Engineering returned the greeting with a wave and a smile, before giving Joker a small salute and the other idiot a long, hard glare. Knowing me, and probably wanting to mess with Joker, he didn't bother with English at all.
"Wir sollten uns in Bewegung setzen. Konteradmiral Mikhailovich ist zur Inspektion da. Und wie's aussieht, ist er nicht gerade glücklich darüber, dass wir uns das Schiff mit Aliens teilen." (We should get moving. Rear Admiral Mikhailovich is there for an inspection. And the way it's looking, he doesn't appear to be happy that we're sharing the ship with aliens.)
"Na großartig." (Well, marvelous.), I panted. That man had seamlessly carried over his habit of being an annoying nuisance from the game. "Fass mal mit an hier." (Give me a hand here.)
Michaelis did just that, and with both of us taking our 'fallen' friend in our midst, it went much smoother right away.
"Komm. So wie ich die Lage einschätze, ist der Alte längst auf hundertachtzig." (Come on. The way I evaluate this, the Old Man's already hopping mad.)
"Ehm, anyone care to gimme a translation?"
I did Joker the favor, and the three of us plus the drunken body with us increased our pace.
We arrived at our ship roughly five minutes before the time was up. I was actually impressed that we'd managed to be on time, as much as my muscles were protesting and I longed for something cool to drink.
That feeling left me, however, as I saw three men leaving the tube connecting ship and dockyard. It was not all that easy to recognize a specific human, given the difference in graphics between RL and ME1. But the fact that all of them wore the uniforms of Alliance commissioned officers, with the one in the middle having three golden stripes on his pauldrons kind of gave the Rear Admiral away.
Thing is, he was on his way out. I wanted in and get rid of our package.
Maybe it would've been a smart thing to hide and await his departure… but it was too late now.
Mikhailovich, a man in his mid-fifties with a three-day beard that already showed signs of greying merely stared at us newcomers. Serviceman Michaelis, quite obviously nervous about the entire situation, immediately gave his superior a salute. And even the always respectless Joker stood at attention and gave him the honours, as far as he was able with his crutches.
With kind of ninety kilograms of drunkenness around my right shoulder, I was kind of in a bind there.
"Sir."
The admiral didn't look pleased at all, but didn't say anything. I spotted Shepard behind him at the airlock, watching with interest and… slight worry.
And unfortunately, my mouth tends to be faster than my mind.
Just for reference… do not try this at home.
"Umm… please, imagine me showing proper respect right now, sir. My apologies, but I am a little bit occupied with… a medical emergency."
"What do you think you're doing?" It wasn't the Admiral himself who had spoken, but his adjutant, someone a bit older than me, in the rank of a Staff Commander, and with an obviously quite bad temper. And a stick up his arse that even your average turian officer would envy him for.
"Identify yourself!"
I rightened myself as much as I could. Nobody talked to me like this.
"Private First Class Jess Raven of assault squad nine-zero-five, assigned to SSV NORMANDY under Lieutenant Commander Shepard - Sir! As for what I'm doing, I am carrying my fallen comrade from the fields of honor into medical care - Sir!"
That, kind of left them speechless. A good moment to get myself even deeper into the jam.
"This man here has fought bravely and valiantly, Sir, and never did he cease to resist until overwhelmed by superior numbers… of shot glasses, but still."
The adjutant looked positively like he wanted to explode.
His boss silenced him with a single glance, surprisingly enough.
"Private Raven, I will ask you once, and only once." Mikhailovich addressed me. The way his rather deep voice stayed monotone brought an uneasy feeling to my stomach.
"The enemy your comrade fought against… would you consider it an honorable fight, Private?"
Fuck it. I'm in deep anyway.
"Yessir! Considering how difficult it was to get him here, and how much work it needs to keep him from, quite literally, worshipping the ground at your feet, Sir, it must've been a truly heroic struggle."
In my feverish mood, I didn't notice how quiet everyone had gone, and how the atmosphere tensed up.
Then, Admiral Mikhailovich couldn't contain the twitching of his lips any longer.
"Say, Private," he continued. "May I inquire as to where those 'fields of honor' are situated?"
"Dublin 4th Street, it is called, Sir." I replied, flatly. "Looks like they got some sort of a discount event happening right now. Apparently vodka, judging by the way my comrade reeks, if I may say so, Sir."
He nodded, before suddenly changing his tone and addressing me quite sternly.
"Should I decide to visit this place, Private… would I encounter any lasting damage to the interior, or our Marine Corps' public reputation?"
I gulped, before realizing that it wasn't my problem, strictly speaking.
"I cannot say, Admiral. I only arrived in time to provide support. What I can say, is that all of us are in civilian clothing, and we've tried our best to conceal our identity as Alliance Marines on our way back. Permission to speak freely, Sir."
"What have you been doing those last few minutes, Private?" Mikhailovich asked rhetorically, eyeing me warily, before nodding briefly. "Granted."
"I am fairly certain we behaved quite well, compared to some of the turian sailors in the area, Sir."
After this attempt to play with the rear admiral's xenophobia, I finally was at my wits end. Loose tongue or not, at some point everyone realizes that they can only make the situation worse by keeping it up.
"Is that so...?" the greying man drawled. Then he nodded curtly. "Very well. I will pretend that I've never seen your comrade in such an… improper fashion, Private Raven. Make sure that it doesn't happen again."
As much as part of me wanted to say that I wasn't Martinez' bloody caretaker, the overwhelming majority of me was glad to have found a way to cut my losses and fuckin' bail.
"I will, Sir. Thank you for your, well, understanding.", I said and rightened myself up as much as I was able to. It got increasingly difficult to ignore the quiet blabbering of the idiot I was carrying.
"Your commanding officer will handle this situation appropriately, I am sure. Carry on."
Rear Admiral Mikhailovich nodded once, then gestured to his companions to follow him. The staff commander that had called me out earlier gave me a poisonous gaze, which I replied to in kind.
I wasn't aboard the NORMANDY to win some officer's favour, I was there to take part in a war. And with all due respect, I think I played a marginally more important role than this random 'desk officer' that probably had not once gotten his uniform dirty.
Was I being an arrogant ass? No doubt. It felt good anyway.
My face was positively alight. Desperately ignoring the astonished gazes some people gave me, I kept my focus solely on Shepard. She kept her facial features in check, causing my stomach to sink even further. Then her smile went into full blossom, causing me to sigh inwardly, in relief.
I had barely stepped into the airlock when two pairs of hands grabbed PSC Martinez' collar. I diverted my attention to the two men that had freed me of my burden. Miller and Gordon. Of course. Whom else.
The American stared at me, in almost comical disbelief. The sort-of Englishman carried one of the widest and most disturbing grins I had seen in my life.
"Quite the show, Raven." Joker had caught up, dramatically leaning on his crutches, giving me a long side-gaze, then nodding in approval.
Pleasant laughter startled us all, and we turned our heads, mildly perplexed.
Our Commander, head thrown back and eyes turned towards the ceiling, merely stood there in the docking tube… and laughed.
"... Wow." Miller muttered, deeply impressed.
Now was my time to chuckle.
Surrounded, on all sides, by lunatics.
In other words: I was back home.
Strong and mighty it towered over the field, it's dark and threatening aura imposing a deadlock on everyone in its vicinity.
Alas, the rook was doomed to fall.
Raven merely watched, his greyish-blue eyes locked with those of his opponent as the mighty bulwark got taken out unceremoniously by a mere pawn.
Then a sigh.
"You're learning far too quickly for my liking, Garrus."
The turian in question merely twitched his mandibles in response as he removed the offending black piece from the board.
"Rich, coming from the one who challenged me to a re-match in the first place."
"I did not!" Raven replied in mock-infuriation. "I said, verbatim: 'Do you wanna play a second round to learn a bit more?'"
"It still sounds like a challenge to me. Right?"
Liara and Tali nodded, the former smiling, the latter looking at Garrus' hands as he calmly placed them on the table, awaiting the humans turn. Kaidan and Ashley, both with datapads in their hands, replied with a simple "Yes." Alenko's voice held sober mirth, William's was just amused.
"I. Hate. All of you." Raven stated matter-of-factly, his tired gaze betraying a certain, mocking defeat.
Garrus chuckled.
These two have a strange kind of dynamic, Liara mused as she took a sip of tea. An enticing, strangely human blend of sweetness and bitterness, and one of many things she had to thank Karin Chakwas for. Always bickering, and yet they seem to work together most effectively when needed.
In the case of Garrus, this wasn't surprising. It had long since been established as one of the Turian species' more pleasant character traits. The average turian would do what they felt like, but, if the situation called for it, would not hesitate to submit themself to a superior authority, or to what they felt as the 'greater good' of all.
Humans however, Liara had long since concluded, were just strange.
Interesting, sometimes abhorrent, sometimes fascinating, in one special case, alluring - but always strange.
Raven's facial expression changed within a fracture of a second. Now attentive, he took a long look at the board.
Liara assessed his chances to be minuscule. Unbeknownst to her comrades, she actually knew this ancient human game. A fellow asari and self-proclaimed humanophile had taught her the basics during one of the many forced breaks at one of the many dig sites she had been to during her studies. At first, it had appeared as if Matron M'Kiala had merely wanted an opponent she could mercilessly defeat.
However, once Liara had begun to understand some of the finer aspects, she had been able to turn the table - much to her amazement, her colleague had burst into a delighted laughter upon receiving what turned out to be her first defeat in almost a decade. It was one of many more to follow.
Smiling, she pushed these memories to the back of her head. As far as she could tell, Raven had still a chance to win.
She didn't doubt that he would try.
Tali decided that she liked the new routine.
It had been a shock at first, only a few hours after their ship had left the Widow Nebula. Nobody dared to disturb her whenever she worked herself as deep into the inner workings of the NORMANDY as only a quarian could. The human crew had understood this immediately, and with her skills being embraced to the fullest, Chief Engineer Adams made sure that the quarian pilgrim had been given all of the liberties she needed.
Which, on a regular Alliance combat vessel, would have been impossible and very likely a severe breach of all protocols regarding espionage and 'fraternization'.
Then again, this specific ship was definitely, without the shadow of a doubt, not a regular Alliance vessel.
From day one, Tali had dived headfirst into the wonders of human and turian engineering. She had rarely left her post, at first due to just how much work the experimental technology generated, later because she felt like she would only step on other people's toes.
She felt that her time was best spent in the Engineering department, where she could make herself useful.
That was, until Engineer Adams had told her, quite sternly, that she was overworking herself.
"As much as I appreciate your help, Miss Zorah, you're coughing, and you almost can't walk straight. The wounds you've received on Noveria have not healed. You should take a break."
"I can-"
"Apparently, you cannot look after yourself." This harsh interjection had surprised and upset her. The normally even-tempered man sighed. "Sorry. Do me the favour, girl, and take the day off. We can manage without you, and I would feel much better if Kari- Dr. Chakwas could take a look you."
"It seems I have excellent timing. As always, of course."
Both had turned to see a turian clad in blue armor entering the maintenance area.
"Vakarian." The chief engineer nodded curtly.
"Chief Adams." The gesture was returned in kind, then he turned his attention to Tali.
"If you want to, you could join us in the officer's mess. Everyone else is there. Even Wrex."
"Is something wrong?", she asked warily. To that, the odd turian had laughed.
"Yes. If you consider it wrong that, for once, we're all in one place without any orders or bloodshed occuring."
She had looked pretty confused, but followed as Garrus lead her to where their teammates were having dinner and chatting amongst themselves. Tali was caught a bit off-guard as both Raven and Liara voiced their cheer and surprise at seeing her 'outside of that machine bubble', as Wrex called it. Seeing him in company of all the others had been the strangest part of it. And the old krogan battlemaster hadn't even looked gruffy at all.
The last time this had happened, he had been teaching her 'a few neat tricks' about her shotgun.
Their meetups had evolved from there over time, and what had started as the rare occurrence of everyone having their meal at the same time would become a regular thing as the days began to pass. During the last half an hour of a shift, everyone who was free would assemble in the officer's mess. Sometimes only to eat and quietly chat amongst themselves. Sometimes to take a few minutes of break. Sometimes just to talk about whatever was on their minds.
Or, like now, to play a game.
Garrus and Raven were present during most of these occasions. When Kaidan had inquired as to why, both men had shrugged and explained that finally, their work on the Mako was reaching an end.
"There's only so much you can do to this thing before you're starting to break two things for every one thing you want to improve." Raven had said, accompanied by Garrus' nod. "Fact is, we've come to the conclusion that we're done there, and may as well spent our time here. Better than losing all my hard-earned pay to the other marines at that rigged game of theirs."
"I thought I had forbidden Corporal Miller from playing with higher stakes." Kaidan mused.
Raven's tired stare said more than a thousand words.
Tali couldn't help it. Whenever she looked at her squadmates sitting in their chairs, conversing, grinning and occasionally laughing… she couldn't help but feel confused about how it didn't fit with how they acted during missions.
Whenever she looked at the ever-calm and friendly Kaidan, she saw a mental image of how he, in a display of honed biotic strength, had frozen a dozen of those wretched Thorian Creepers in place, and watched with a contempt sneer as Raven and Garrus tore them apart. When her gaze fell upon Raven, she had to compare his laid back, sometimes lazy attitude to the ferocity with which he had dispatched the Asari commando. And whenever her eyes lingered on Garrus…
Comparing the slightly arrogant, and yet strangely intriguing turian off-duty to his posture and behaviour on the battlefield seemed impossible.
She paused to look at all her squadmates.
Impossible. Just as her entire stay aboard had been. From the moment Raven had rescued her, no - from the moment the HONORATA had discovered the ancestors-cursed Geth signal in the Crescent Nebula, matters had become impossible. Somehow, her pilgrimage which had been intended to start on Illium had led her across half the Milky Way, aboard the most advanced vessel in Citadel Space and in company of some of the galaxy's deadliest people.
Including Commander Jane Shepard.
Tali had lost track of how often she had conversed with the woman she had chosen to follow, and still every time it felt like she was learning something new. At first, Shepard had mostly asked her questions about her home, about the flotilla. Then they had proceeded to more personal questions. And lately, she had found herself to be the one asking questions.
And Shepard had spoken freely about her upbringing aboard the ships of Alliance Fifth Fleet, about how her parents had often being assigned to different ships, forcing Shepard to grow up in always changing places. She felt that she could relate, maybe more than any other.
Whenever she touched the subject of Elysium however, the red-haired human seemed unwilling to talk. It wasn't as big of a deal as everyone thought it to be, she had said. For once, Tali didn't quite believe her. The other humans at her workplace had been too much in awe of her accomplishments on that day. But she didn't push her commander further.
Tali had begun to feel like a full part of this strange team, she'd started to feel worthy of it, and she was starting to feel more confident because of it. And now, when she looked around at this astonishing group, knowing that she had become an established part of the effort and knowing that they valued her highly, she felt a deep sense of 'connection' and 'attachment' that she hadn't felt since the small ceremony that had marked her departure from the RAYYA.
In other words: She felt… home.
"You should give up, Raven." Garrus let his mandibles twitch.
"You wish, Vakarian." Raven replied, grinning.
They had, figuratively speaking, continued to trade blows. Liara still didn't envy the humans position. He'd had his chance to come back, but a few more mistakes had found him more or less cornered.
Garrus is learning quickly, the asari thought. If he were wearing his visor right now, I'd know the reason… They are both so similar, Raven and Garrus, she directed her gaze to both men's eyes, which incidentally had the same colour, yet very different indeed.
Unlike the first game, which had been more or less a practice round and an easy win for Raven, for the second game Raven had opted for a rather defensive setup as Garrus had chosen a series of high-stake gambles in an aggressive manner. The marksman had suffered too many losses, and while he had managed to stabilize his defense a few turns later, the pieces he had lost were so valuable that slowly, but surely, the sniper was able to grind away Raven's side of the board, being in a position where he could allow himself to go for unfavourable trades and still come out on top.
"You're only prolonging your suffering." Garrus rumbled, showing a turian expression of friendly mockery. It obviously was not meant as an offense - but Liara could see how the humans jaw ground regardless.
She was worried about him. More seriously than just with regards to their game.
Asari were a very empathic species. Their unique ability to join their minds with all other known sapient species had taught them to value different perspectives. From this, they had come to value balance above everything else. It was what had led them to the most peaceful unification of all known space-faring species, what had been the driving force behind the founding of the Council and what had caused them to be as regarded as highly, in commerce, diplomacy and leadership, as they were.
Asari could, for the lack of a better word, sense when emotions left this balance significantly. Not to the extent that one would call it telepathy, but where others looked at a grin and only saw a seemingly positive emotion, asari were able to sense its hidden and true meaning.
Liara was only a maiden; she would in due time grow to be wiser and stronger. This was the way of the Goddess her mother had so revered, once. But even the young and inexperienced Liara knew, without the shadow of a doubt, that Raven was afraid.
He hid it well, but the subtle cues couldn't be missed. She hadn't been exposed to humans for that long, but it seemed like asari and humans were more than superficially similar to each other.
She was wondering about the reason for it. There was, from the outside, nothing that could trigger such fear. His subconscious ticks reminded her more than any other moment how she had felt that day when he had dragged her out of the collapsing ruins of her dig site on Therum.
The answer however eluded her. For the moment.
As she watched Raven making another move, suddenly, Liara sensed another presence, burning brightly as ever, approaching her.
She turned her head only slight, and sure enough, the lock to her Commanders personal quarters opened.
Shepard stepped out, and as soon as the two of them locked eyes, and her friend smiled, Liara felt her cheeks heating up.
"Sorry to interrupt, guys." Shepard said as she approached the table. A lot of heads turned her way, and her human subordinates immediately sat a bit straighter. She let her eyes roam, smiling almost unnoticeably at seeing the chess board. "I've just received a few bits of intel that you might find interesting."
She sent a message to her team's omnitools. They all read the short notes, a mixture of news reports and partially declassified reports from various branches of the Alliance military. A few minutes passed in silence.
"... This doesn't seem right." Ash spoke up first. Lifting her gaze to her Commander, she frowned.
"You're right, Williams." Kaidan nodded, slowly. "We aren't simply 'winning', like High Command is suggesting. This looks like the Geth are merely reorganizing their forces."
"Remember the report that came, like, a few days after Feros?", Raven asked. He was still reading, his face betraying his irritation. "About the deadlock in the Skyllian Verge, and how the Geth were supposedly regrouping without making any push?"
"This is their next step." Garrus gave a rumbling sigh. "The media is wrong, or is being fed false information. The Alliance and Hierarchy forces are not retaking lost ground without major resistance because the Geth are running out of reinforcements. Spirits, they're machines. Where we would need to recruit and train new soldiers, they can simply build new ones. Yes, Lieutenant, they are consolidating all of their assets."
"But, why?" Liara looked confused and unsettled.
"The Geth have done this before." Tali spoke up. She still didn't look too comfortable speaking in front of everyone else, but had dropped the habit of constantly wringing her hands. "They have spread out and attacked on all fronts, then suddenly broken off to go after a single high value target."
"Makes sense." Shepard nodded. "They don't feel any loss of morale from loosing or giving up hard-fought conquests. This begs one question, though: What is their target?"
Everything fell silent for a moment. Then Ashley shook her head, wide-eyed. "God, no. You think they'll go for Earth? But, they'd have to go against no less than three fleets!"
"It is possible, but unlikely, given what else we know. It all depends on what this bloody Conduit is." Raven replied, finally looking up. Shepard did not miss the trace of dread in his eyes. "It also depends... Do the Geth, does Saren indeed have the numbers?"
"What are you thinking, Raven?" Shepard inquired, folding her arms and musing him thoughtfully.
"The Geth had three centuries to quietly, almost undisturbed, build their numbers. Quite literally. My question is: Has Saren got access to all of those resources?" He leaned back, and closed his eyes. "Something doesn't add up. Okay, he has that dreadnought, SOVEREIGN, but I would think that if his forces had enough strength to smash through the entire Verge, they'd done so already."
"Don't forget what we've learned so far, Raven." Shepard warned. "He's looking for the Conduit, and only now knows the location of the Mu relay. Now may be his time to strike, but we don't know exactly where his strike will land."
"I am not forgetting that, Commander. Still, I think there are two possibilities: Either Saren has all the Geth behind him; which would mean that he can simply afford to waste some ten thousand platforms and ships just to keep our main forces occupied. In which case..."
He raised his fist to his throat, before drawing a line across it with his thumb.
"Not yet." Shepard replied coldly. "The second possibility?"
He paused, briefly. Then, slowly…
"Would it be reasonable to assume a schism among the Geth?"
Shepard pursed her lips. A few of her squad made small gasps, others shook their head slowly, not necessarily in denial.
"No! The Geth are one collective intelligence, with the single intent of destroying us all. They do not just split up like organics would, Raven!" Tali replied with surprising fervor. Had she not been wearing that mask… Shepard was certain the light in her eyes would've inflicted burns on the marksman's skin.
"Emphasis on 'intelligence'!" Raven interrupted, raising his voice slightly. "If they were still united, and fighting as one, all revering the Reapers as their 'gods', why would they now make costly retreats? They could simply keep the deadlock up, and make sure that our fleets cannot break off and regroup as well!" He shook his head with fervor, and grimaced.
"Fuck, the simple fact that they seem to have a 'god' could mean that maybe they've got more of a personality than we all think…!"
An uneasy silence befell the group.
"No! No, no, no!" Tali's sudden outburst startled even the Commander. Bitterness and outrage dominated the usually shy and withdrawn quarian. "The Geth are a soulless enemy, they have been our bane and nightmare for three hundred years. Their whole creation has been a mistake, and my people have paid dearly for it! Don't think-"
"Enough!"
Nobody had noticed Wrex' approaching. His bellowed command echoed throughout the deck, which was fortunately rather empty at this time. It still caused the Privates Danners and Dickson, who were on guard at this time, to nervously check for their sidearms.
He stomped towards the table. "Your bickering is giving me headaches. Stop it."
"... Where the Hell did you come from?"
"Medbay." He growled in Ashley's direction, as if that would explain anything.
"I'm not saying I'm right, Tali." Raven continued carefully to not upset their machinist any further.
"But honestly? I'd prefer it that way. If nothing else, it would mean that the Geth we're dealing with are more or less cut off from their main bases behind the Veil, can't replace their numbers as well, and we won't have to deal with roughly three hundred years of industrial output at once." The private shook his head. "For comparison's sake, that's roughly as long ago as Humanity starting to understand the concept of industrialization. We had just discovered electricity."
"You know, I think you may be right, Raven."
"You do, Chief? That's a new."
Ashley ignored Raven's irony with surprising grace. "Yeah. I don't wanna deal with, you know, three centuries of pent-up robot frustration either. Imagine the output."
Half the table chuckled nervously. Half the table grimaced and shook in violent disgust. But at least the agitated quarian appeared to be much calmer now.
"What you're saying has merit, Raven, but we don't know enough just yet. There are just too many unknowns.", Shepard added, as soon as she had gotten rid of the sudden sour taste in her mouth. "I just wanted to let you all know. Also, I've spoken with the Council."
"Back to the topic of 'pent-up frustration', then." Surrounded by the laughter of her squad, Shepard briefly narrowed her eyes. Of all people, why did Kaidan have to add up on this..?
"Mind out of the gutter, ladies and gentlemen. Anyway, I've forwarded the recording Raven made on Noveria. That got some people thinking. Councillor Tevos was shocked, to say the least."
The Noveria mission debrief had happened a few days prior. A very somber matter, and one that almost saw Ashley and Liara come to blows. Shepard had cursed herself inwardly. It had been obvious both of them had hurt, the marine from her wounds, the scientist from her raw emotion. Even a week between the action and the talking had done little to smooth things out, but at least Ashley had moved on to apologize in person.
That however had only been the tip of the iceberg. The follow-up on her report, the usual long-distance meeting with the Council made Shepard seriously consider just hanging up on them, for the first time in her working relationship with her three new 'employers'. But, as much as she had wanted to personally wipe that frown off the turian councillor, her rational mind won over her temper and she remained calm.
It had left her when the connection was ended. All of the main leads had been investigated. A clear picture had been drawn. A sketch, maybe, but more than enough to make Shepard deeply worried. But there was still one more loose end to be tied.
"I'm not surprised." Kaidan said, rubbing his brow as he leaned back. "I honestly hope they're taking this under consideration. What about the Rachni Queen?"
"Councillor Sparatus accused me of unleashing death on the galaxy once more." She said, flatly.
"Councillor Sparatus is a barefaced fool, and a disgrace for the Hierarchy." Garrus replied coldly as he returned his attention to the chess board.
"No comment." Shepard nodded slightly, feeling oddly pleased at the turian's comment. "We've got one more lead. But I need a bit more information. Alliance Intel is working on it, and Admiral Hackett has promised to forward their findings in the next two Citadel days. I'll brief you shortly after I am."
"Good." With that, Wrex turned around and stomped back into the medbay.
"Jesus." Ashley swore softly and stared after him. "Anyone knows what's gotten under his skin?"
"A needle."
"What?"
"A needle." Raven repeated himself as he stretched to move a bishop across the board. The Commander saw how he fought to keep his features impassive. "Dr. Chakwas is taking a blood sample for emergency. Big Guy isn't pleased, but strangely, lets our doctor get away with it."
"... Wow."
That was about the most apt way Williams could've put it, Shepard mused to herself. "Okay, that's all I wanted to tell you. We'll meet for a group briefing in roughly two days… hopefully I'll have a bit more of solid information to share with you."
"Understood, Ma'am." Kaidan answered on behalf of everyone.
"See you at dinner."
With that, she turned on her heels and returned to her cabin. And the paperwork that being a commissioned officer in the Alliance brought with it. Her seven wingmen watched her until the door had been closed.
"... We're nearing the end, aren't we?" Tali asked to no one in particular.
"Yes. No doubt." Garrus replied, and nodded grimly. "The Geth are consolidating, Saren is running low on options, and we're firmly on his trail. Something is coming up. That much is obvious."
"Anyone having any idea what Shepard knows that she doesn't want to share with us right now?"
"No idea, Ash." Raven replied flatly. The tone of his voice was likely a result of him focusing on the board. He made a move that would appear like one stupid to many, but made Liara smile slightly. "We'll know in time, I suppose."
"Indeed. Let's worry about that when the time has come." The asari scientist kept her eyes on the board, smirking behind her hand.
"Yes. Well then, Raven…" Garrus drawled, and moved his rook into a position to cut off any escape routes. "I got you."
"No, you don't." Raven grinned, and leaned back to take a long sip from his juice.
"Face it, human. You have run out of pieces. My rook and my queen have your king locked down. Your remaining bishop cannot move to intercept. The game is over."
"It is, you're right, Vakarian." Raven said, not bothered in the slightest. "I, in fact, cannot make any move right now. Stalemate. We're draw."
Pause.
"You're kidding me right now."
"No. I cannot move any piece, because that would put my king into check. I am not allowed to do that. It's a draw." Raven chuckled. "And if I never play against you anymore, I can always say that you have never beaten me."
Garrus' groan was drowned out by his squadmates' laughter.
"Spirits. Why does that vile woman have so many ideas?"
I laughed lightly at Garrus' displeasure as I removed another screw from the floor plating."Isn't that what we like about her? We had it coming, mate. And nobody else wants us in their department, I've asked. Looks like we're chained to this bloody thing 'til the end times."
"We've done everything both of us could think of to make this cursed tank as hardened as we can." The turian cop-turned-engineer grumbled from the Mako's rear hatch. "We've added as much armor plating as the engine can move, and then we even got Tali to improve the engine, because apparently we like the pain so much."
"You asked. Leave me out of this."
Garrus ignored me.
"I've optimized this cannon ten times over, and we can't improve the suspension because Shepard will just break it anyway."
"Maybe you should've said that before she ordered us to reinforce the wheels." I mused.
"Do I look like I am tired of life, Raven?"
"You could've stayed back on the Citadel, Vakarian, and deal with all the petty crime. And yet you decided you sign up for this shit."
"While I really want to take down Saren, going against Shepard was not part of the offer."
I merely laughed at that. A full day had passed since Garrus had caused himself to trip in that match, and true to my words, I had refused a rematch. Apparently, this still was eating at him. Shepard's orders to look into upgrading the structural integrity of our Mako's wheels wasn't helping either. It had been such a nice break from the constant tinkering…
The day was about to get even worse as well.
"Oi, lads, how are ya doin'?"
I looked up and saw two familiar faces. Corporal Miller, who wore an impertinent grin, and the equally amused Private Gordon.
"How does it look like?" I answered, sighing. "What's up?"
"Looks like that idiot Martinez has recovered." Gordon smirked. "Enough at least that the LT's giving him a lecture, right now."
"Seriously." Miller only shook his head. "He ain't exactly the smartest guy on the block, in't he? First that fallout with sweet Danners, then he almost blows up our friggin' ship, and then he challenges Joker to a drinkin' contest."
"Wait, wait, wait." I looked up, astonished. "That's all his fault?"
"Yep." Gordon grinned. "That girl's a wildcat, I tell you." The cat whistle he gave immediately after sent shivers down my spine. And not of the pleasant type.
"I was talking about Joker doing a drinking contest." I replied slowly and continued where I left off.
"Aaah. Well, never underestimate that guy, Raven. His bones may not be able to take a lot; but trust me, if only half of the stories they're telling are true, he's got the liver of two men - or more."
"Can he outdrink Chakwas?"
"I wouldn't be surprised."
I guess you just can't afford to become drunk easily when you're going to fracture your everything that easily, I thought.
"Colour me impressed." I rightened myself up, and faced the two senior marines. "But, is that all you two wanted? 'Cause, you know, we got work to do here, and your shifts are starting in ten if I'm correct."
"Aye." Miller noded. "You're still talk of the crew, by the way." His grin only widened at my groan.
"If I had known that would happen, I'd just left fucking Martinez and bloody Joker where they were and gone back here."
"Ah, c'mon. Isn't every day ol' Mick gets all friendly with a lowly private."
"Cut it." I warned.
"Hey! Just sayin'. That was some impressive quick talkin' there, and if I'm impressed, crew's impressed."
"And I suppose you've made sure that they're impressed, haven't you?" My reply was soaked in tiredness and dripping with irony. "You're making a far too big deal out of this. Wanna know how it felt like? Like someone emptying a bucket of ice on my head, immediately followed up by an hour in a smelter."
"Tell you what, boy." Gordon said, in a sickeningly fatherly way. "You gotta take that stick out your ass and chill a bit."
"Do me a favour, and shut up! I'll never hear the end of it anyway, and I wanna get my bloody job done soon and get some sleep. Anything else you wanted?"
I had laced my voice with just enough ice that he shrugged and turned around.
"Fine, be that way."
Miller watched his companion enter the elevator, grumbling all the way. "Don't take this too serious, mate," he tried to allay me once Gordon was out of hearing range. "He's probably salty that you've not been joining us for the last week or so. We're missin' ya company."
I had successfully unscrewed the ground plate, gestured Miller to help me, and with combined efforts we got it out of the way. The hole that was now gaping in the floor revealed an assortment of spare parts, tools and supplies, from a box containing recoil dampers to a stack of reserve tyres and part of a Mako armor plate.
Even in a ship relatively spacious like the NORMANDY was, you did not want any loose parts lying around and being a potential hazard, especially whenever the Mako was brought back in.
The turian engineers designing the C/E deck had come up with a fairly decent solution. Since there had to be an access and maintenance area between this deck and the outer hull anyway, the idea to have the entirety of both C/E decks lower floor turned into a storage area was actually quite smart. As such, while the 'walkway' splitting the cargo compartment into two halves covered the maintenance tunnels for the lower hull and kinetic barriers, which was connected directly with Engineering (ever noticed that you have to walk a bit further down to reach the drive core?), the rest of the empty space allowed for both storage and, occasionally, better maintenance access for any vehicles the ship carried.
I will have to say that those engineers probably imagined their soldiers to be more… orderly. But, well, we made do. And frankly, having all the things we didn't need regularly out of our way was quite helpful. Plus, with the exception of the heavy rear shutters/ramp, this additional buffer zone between our workspace and the hull made sure that we wouldn't be sucked into outer space immediately, should there ever be a hull breach. As an added bonus, this layout did wonders to make our ship look bigger than it in fact was, which then helped to reduce cases of 'cabin fever' - a real problem for a deep-space scout frigate.
... Sorry, I got carried away.
"I'm not sure, Mils." I sighed and, with the help of my fellow soldier, moved the plate further aside. Electromagnets would make sure that it stayed there. "I'm sick and tired of some of the stuff the others are doing." I had adopted his nickname, as he felt like the closest to a friend I had in the unit.
"Yeah, I feel ya, at least a bit." This confession surprised me. "When yer gettin' older, all that fun stuff starts feelin' bloody silly. Take Martinez. That boy ain't doin' himself any favors. Would'a laughed 'bout his shenanigans five years ago, now I'm just disgusted. Danners was right to bash his head in back then, and the LT's doing right to make him scrub all the toilets now. 'S far as I care, he should be doin' that with his own toothbrush."
I had to grimace at the mental image, but nodded.
"Yeah. I dunno. You, Danners, maybe Kats and Gordon are the only ones that I feel comfortable around. The rest? Reminds me too much of my gang days, I think." I lied, felt bad about it and subsequently added: "You're all career soldiers. I'm definitely not. You know why I'm here. No offense, but I rather stick with Shepards squad - most of the time, anyway."
I couldn't tell the truth. Unfortunately, that happened too often. But one thing was true - that I felt more at ease around those I sort-of knew for longer. And the 'gap' between those who had chosen a life in the military and those who only tagged along for the sake of stopping Saren and/or our Commander was honestly quite large. I just… didn't feel like I belonged into the marine detachment.
"I understand. Not sayin' you're wrong either." Miller righted himself up to stretched his back, sighing slightly at the satisfying crack this caused. "But if I were you, I'd still stick with us a bit more. We're gettin' close to the end now, and people are gettin' nervous. 'Specially when the one guy who's supposed to be our medic ain't around us, most of the time. We're trusting you, no worries," he cut off a shocked question before I could utter a single tone, "But still, it isn't the best feeling in the world. Hope ya understand that."
"Yeah…" I sighed. Miller had a point. I hadn't chosen this role, but that was true for a lot of things and didn't meant that I could do whatever I liked. "But still. Garraway, Davis and Martinez aren't exactly the best people to spend time around, y'know?"
"Davis is a bloody poser who will soon enough either fall in line, or get spaced," Miller replied, matter-of-factly. "Garraway's an ice-cold bitch and seriously underfucked, almost as much as that guy Martinez who managed to get 'imself blue-balled and wasted three times now. Maybe I should try'n get those two together. If nothin' else, everyone else will have a laugh 'bout 'em."
"... Bah!" The way the corporal mixed up different accents while he spoke, the content of his speech and the mental imagery in my internet-indoctrinated brain blended together as a symphony of abhorrence. "Seriously, stop it." I jumped into the roughly half a meter deep hole in the floor.
"Point is," he continued, stoically ignoring the way I sought cover, "You gotta spend some more time with us, and if those three give a trouble, I'll take care of 'em."
"Yeah, yeah, you win." I replied in graceless defeat. I leaned my folded arms onto the floor and looked up to him. "You're right. I will be there for a game or two, at twenty-three hundred. Satisfied?"
"Yep." he looked down, and grinned. "If for no reason but Shepard savin' yer ass right now. See ya later."
He walked away and saluted our approaching Commander on his way out.
"It's good to see," Garrus whispered to me from the cover of his computer screens, having of course heard everything, "That both the Hierarchy's average legionnaire and your Alliance's regular marine are equally distasteful beings."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you once a soldier yourself?"
"Yes. And I'm not saying that I was or am any better."
The loud clicking of magnetic boots coming closer and our Commander's greeting relieved me of having to respond.
As soon as formalities and the usual sitrep and small talk had been dealt with, Garrus addressed Shepard in an unusual sober tone. "Commander. I wanted to thank you."
"What for, Garrus?"
"For everything. Taking me with you. Letting me be part of your team. I've learned a lot."
"I second that." I quipped, as difficult as that was from my position. I peeked my head out and gave our leader a friendly smile. "But, of course, you've heard that already. Many times, in fact."
"You're welcome, both of you." She returned the smile. "Both of you have done excellently."
"Raven, may I speak with Shepard alone, for a moment?"
I looked up, surprised, but nodded. "Of course. I'll sort this out in the meantime." Diving back under the floor, I occupied myself with the task of sorting all the rarely used tools and parts back into some semblance of an order.
That was, until I could not longer hear their steps. As slowly and quietly as I could, I risked a look.
Shepard and Garrus stood close to ramp sealing the hangar bay against the void, across the deck. In just that moment, I heard Garrus speak up, quietly, but audible.
"I've thought about what you said. About not sacrificing innocents to achieve the goal. About finding the best way through, not just the fastest."
This was the opportunity I had been waiting for. I didn't remember every conversation from Mass Effect 1 anymore - that wasn't humanly possible - but the way this went convinced me that this one was going to be a lengthier one. Nobody was watching me, and the walkway in the middle plus the relative darkness gave me some visual cover.
I went to work quickly. I crawled through a gap between some parts and reached into an area a few meters away towards a pile of three spare tires. The absolute last reserve, one that we would likely never touch. With only one last Mako deployment on Virmire, plus the drop on Ilos which would see our Mako being destroyed anyway... Even if we would have to fix all six wheels it was likely that Garrus and I would go for the wheels I had stored closer towards the tank.
Just as planned.
"Words mean nothing until you turn them into action, Garrus. What are you going to do about it?"
Shepard's voice served as a reminder that I had to hurry. I took a screwdriver from my toolbox and used it as a lever to create a small gap between the tires. It was made from reinforced steel, even as heavy as the tires were it wouldn't break.
I grabbed into a pouch on my uniform and removed the OSD that had been burning holes into my chest all day. Figuratively speaking. That being said, the small yet durable disc had roughly the size of a lighter.
With fleeting hands, I stuffed the disc between the tyres and made sure that it would hold. It would. The way everything was physically tethered to the ground and each other made any movement impossible.
Removing the screwdriver and putting it back in my toolbox, I quickly moved back towards the Mako making sure to sound like I was working as I moved.
"Don't worry, Commander. I will.", Garrus said as both he and Shepard came back. "Spirits, what have you been doing, Raven?"
"I'm trying to find the titanium braces we'll need for this." I replied and looked up to him, appearing confused. "Any idea where on Earth we put them?"
"Over there! Right there!" He said and exasperatedly pointed towards another area. I looked at it, and groaned.
"Right. Sorry. It's been a long day."
"Apparently." Shepard smirked. "Carry on, you two."
When I left our Mako an hour later, to shower off the hydraulic fluids and catch some z's, I briefly stopped and looked down through the crevices. I could see the OSD. Barely visible in the shadows.
Of course, hiding my greatest secret like this made me anxious about everything that could possibly go wrong. But I had installed some of the best encoders and safety mechanisms I had access to, and since I was part of a SPECTRE's entourage, that's something.
And should worst come to worst… if I aimed well, a single bullet through the crevices would be enough to destroy the OSD, at least enough to make it unreadable.
Reassured, I walked to the Engineering bay to kiss Tali a good night and go to sleep.
Just kidding.
I had barely made it into my bunk when my omnitool rang and ruined any attempt at finding some inner peace when I spared a quick look on the display…
Just like that, my heart began beating faster, my blood ran cold, and my throat felt constrict.
Briefing in ten hours.
-Shepard
I stood there in the open sleeper pod for a good ten minutes. Then I nodded to myself. It's on.
I closed the hatch and attempted to sleep. It didn't quite work.
For several hours, my thoughts kept circling around the next mission...
Virmire.
A/N: Greetings to you, dear readers! It has taken more time than I thought - I originally had planned for a 'small' chapter of around 6-7k words, but then I made the mistake of letting my mind wander, and well… this is the result. And at the same time, I have completed the long-overdue update to Chapter 4.1, plus completed some necessary work on Chapters 8 and 6, so I haven't exactly been idle. Plus, well, PAYDAY 2 had a special event going on called 'Breaking News'... and with that game's storyline being fulfilled, and a lot of things being revealed, it's fair to say that my mind has been blown. Could be worth a short story at least… ah, but that would be something for another day.
Yes, I fully agree… not a lot has happened in this chapter. That is, unless you're taking the not-so-obvious into account. And I really wanted some things to be done before Virmire. And as such, this chapter was one of few opportunities I get what I feel I cannot fully do in Mass Effect 1: developing stuff on my own. Plus, a 'small' experiment I haven't exactly been doing for a while: A somewhat lengthier passage that is not, in fact, Raven's POV. Let me know what you think! I like getting other people's char development etc. across, but doing that one only from Raven's POV would have the risk of being extremely shallow. I know myself, and I know that I am everything but aware enough to, you know, 'guess accurately how people are developing their personality'.
Just adds to 'Raven not being an all-knowing storyteller' as far as I am concerned. Again, if you disagree, let me know! As those of you who've written reviews in the past know, I like to answer them via PM - am just not that much of a fan of clogging up the text even more than I already do. (Just personal preference, not a shot at authors that do. Just for the record.)
That would be it for this time, I think. Well then. *Deep breath* Let's see if my vision of how Virmire would play out finds your approval, or not. I can't satisfy everyone, but I'll try and write it up in a satisfying manner, at least.
Thanks once more to my Beta 5 Coloured Walker for being my 'test dummy' with all these interesting ideas, and for his help reworking CH 4.1.
See you, next chapter!
P.S. from 5 Coloured. Sorry for the delays, someone got hit by a sudden fulltime job. Woo! That said, good things are coming, I really hope you're looking forward to them as much as me. As for errors, I think I've caught them all, feel free to yell if I haven't.
P.P.S.: Last edit made on 15.11.18. Corrected a few small tidbits pointed out to me in the comments. *inhales* Fiiivveeee-Colooouuuuured!