"If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough." - Unknown.
Chapter 17.1 - Virmire: Assault
The Commander stood, as she always did, in the center of the circle of seats as we started piling in. I thought that she had a bit more tension about her than usual, but I could be mistaken.
My own tension, not to mention fear, may have played tricks on my mind.
"Thanks for being on time," Shepard greeted us all. "I'll try and make it quick; there isn't too much information about our next mission anyway."
She then gave us all a long, hard glance. The only other time I remembered her gazing upon us which such intensity had been our very first briefing - the one in which we had established our goals for this campaign.
I gulped. This did not bode well.
Two hours later, I found myself leaning against Ash's workstation, in the now routine ritual of preparing for the mission ahead.
"We're deploying on Virmire, a garden world in Sentry Omega, the frontier region between the Attican Traverse, meaning Citadel Space, and the Terminus Systems."
With forced calm, I clamped my boots shut and began to attach greaves and splints to my suit. I did it mechanically, thinking instead about parts of our briefing that kept repeating over and over in my head.
"The Council has informed me that one of the STG-teams they've sent to assist with Saren's capture has gone missing in this sector, with their last reported life sign being a jumbled radio signal, on a Council-reserved frequency, coming from Virmire."
I looked over all the small, little upgrades and modifications to my kit.
The squad had spent a long time preparing for this mission with a lot of unknowns involved. Subsequently, we all were going in with the best equipment we had. As an example, I seem to remember that Shepard had given Wrex both a Tier X armor and shotgun, although I may be wrong.
"I've had Intel look into this. Initially, High Command and I were convinced that their disappearance was likely to be the result of one of the numerous Terminus-backed pirate raids. They're having a pretty good time right now, with nobody left to take care of them out here."
As for myself… The gift of genetic enhancements allowed me to function at a level that I, unaugmented, would have never been able to reach. And I had the equipment to match.
I had been issued a Mark-IX 'Predator' light armor, arguably one of the best types of armor that existed. It would crack easier than the heavier armor most of my squadmates sported, of course. But on the flip side, it didn't slow me down, offered excellent hazard protection and extremely strong shields. And last but not least, the probably strongest servo systems in the light armor class. Which both enhanced my carry capacity and reduced all of the stress my body would feel otherwise - subtle and unobvious, but such a strong difference, I can tell you.
N7-grade Loki incendiary grenades had long replaced the original makeshift firebombs on my hips, and Shepard had somehow been able to acquire modified, definitely-not-standard-issue Mk4a stun grenades, eight of which were stowed in my chest carrier.
In addition, my other compartments were fully packed with medigel, other medicines, my share of omnigel and a lot of other small tools and equipment that could make a soldier's life so much easier. Finally I had updated my omnitool and changed the 'Fighter'-style omniblade to a model aptly, and unimaginatively named 'Shard-Pattern'.
Where the original, 'default' blade configuration was designed to be sturdy, but had required several cuts to bring that Asari commando on Noveria down, this new blade was designed to hold together for long enough to puncture whatever armor the target had - before detonating and sending razor-sharp fragments throughout the targets' body.
I had tried the effect on a dummy made from ballistic gel - let's just say that I'm fairly certain that it was against the Geneva conventions. Not that anyone fucking cared, myself included.
I still hadn't attached a bayonet, though. But that was really low priority.
And of course, even though it was probably only dead weight now, I still kept on to my trusty knife. If nothing else, it offered a false sense of security.
"But Intel is convinced that none of the major pirate or mercenary factions have been present there recently. Nobody with the tech necessary to have any chance of spotting the STG ships, nevermind their chances of destroying one."
I… darkly remember sitting there, by myself, surrounded by a lot of loud noises and bustling activity. I also remember playing with my rifle, constantly nestling at the dial to switch around between zero, 2- and 4-times magnification, before angrily pulling my hand away and placing it at my thigh. Needless to say that instead, I noticed myself running my gloved thumb along the blade of my knife a few minutes later.
I looked up, as Tali approached me. She merely looked at me, and said…
She… said…
…
I look up, wide-eyed, breathing heavily.
The starlit sky doesn't fit.
Why can I see the stars from the NORMANDY's C/E deck?
But, the NORMANDY -
- she isn't -
It takes a few seconds to pull myself back into the here and now.
I cry out in rage.
My breathing goes heavily.
I lower my gaze.
And curse it all.
Sudden movement, six o'clock.
I jerk my head around and stare into the shadows behind me.
The icy grip that had been around my heart thaws. Not enough to remove the chill, no…
But enough to no longer suffocate.
I turn around once more, again watching over the city's streetlights, the few that have remained, that had not been turned to ash, or since been rebuilt.
I take another deep breath, and engulf myself into my tale again.
Just before reality mingles with memories once more, I feel a hand on my shoulder.
Warmth spreads through my body.
I am not alone, and will be… nevermore.
…
…
...
...Ten minutes until we would be within sensor range of Virmire. Shepard's team was assembling. As were the marines of 905, who loaded rolls of barbed wire and other light barricades into the Mako.
"Commander, we're going in blind already." I had urged, when Shepard had asked for our opinions and a heated discussion had erupted. "Whatever is there, and powerful enough to take on a whole STG platoon, will have the tools to resist any attack that we carry out. We will need every gun we can get. And maybe even the equipment we need to dig in while we extract the salarians."
Shepard had only nodded. My colleagues weren't as convinced.
"All I'm saying is that if the STG guys aren't even in a position to send a proper message, or make sure that it goes through, they're in deep." I remember replying to Garrus.
"If they've really got a fortress on that planet that keeps the salarians from leaving and report back in, they'll have either heavy anti-air installments, or space and air superiority," he had said. I still had to grimace now, that I made sure the sabatons of my armor were set up right. "The only way we'll succeed is by being fast, not by wasting time on entrenching ourselves."
He would have been right under regular circumstances. I knew that. But I also knew that it was Virmire we talked about, and that made trying to convince Garrus without outright saying what I knew quite a pain.
Shepard intervened on my behalf. By proxy of me, Ash and Kaidan, she ordered the marine detachment to produce lightweight and quick-to-deploy fortifications, like razor wire and Garraway's improvised sentry turrets, which had proven very effective on Feros, or reinforcing spare cargo containers to act as deployable bits of cover.
"We do not have any Alliance presence in this area. And neither can we count on anybody coming over to lend us a hand. Whatever we'll find there, we've got to work as quickly as possible, you're right, Garrus. But Raven is correct. I don't see any harm in using up some of our spare materials, even if we don't end up needing them. They can be replaced. Good soldiers cannot."
I inhaled deeply, put on my headgear, and stood up. My wandering gaze briefly came to rest on the spot where I knew my message would be hidden, and my locker, in which I had left message, handwritten with armor paint on a piece of cloth:
'Left a message for Shepard. Check the Mako supplies. It's a bit hidden.' Signed with a simple: 'Raven.'
The walk over to the Mako, to start up its systems and get it ready for a possible drop felt longer the usual. And even when I sat on my seat and ran the last checks, Shepard's last warning when we had been dismissed from the briefing just didn't want to get out of my head.
"Guys, just as a reminder. No reinforcements are coming. We're on our own."
I have no recollection of what happened until we reached the STG outpost.
A look into my diary and the mission report Shepard forwarded to the Council tells me that Joker somehow managed to get the NORMANDY in under their radar. Mind you, his definition of 'staying under the radar' involved flying the ship through Virmire's canyons, with only fifteen meters below us, and less than three meters separating our wings from the unforgiving granite cliffs. The alternative however would've been to take our chance with the array of Geth AA installations - which was simply impossible.
I believe we knew at this point that we had run into a major and previously unknown Geth stronghold, but I can't be certain.
We were spotted almost as soon as our Mako touched the ground, or rather, the water. We, with Shepard at the wheel, Garrus at the gun and I at the sensors, apparently, came under fire from roughly a company worth of geth units, including two colossi.
Honestly, looking over the VI log now actually amazes me how we managed to get through there without taking more than a few rounds to our armor. But I think Shepard pulled all her tricks, using the the downward thrusters to jump over incoming rockets and whatnot to keep us in one piece.
It must've been sickening. I guess I should be glad that I don't remember that part.
The mission logs say that the other half of our team had to get out a few times in order to take out enough of the AA batteries so that our ship could land at the campsite, and to eliminate some barricades blocking our path in.
The first thing I do fully remember after that is how the squad exited the Mako, jumped into the ankle-deep river and waded over to where the STG commander was already in discussion with Kaidan and Ashley. They and Liara had stayed aboard ship, while the other five of us rolled in in style. Don't ask me why.
He looked quite anxious. But I learned later that what looked to me like nervously shifting your weight from one feet to the other, was actually the salarian equivalent of being relatively relaxed.
Our ship had landed next to the camp, casting an impressive shadow over our marines and some STG guys that were already busy moving supplies.
As we approached, I slowly started to understand what was said.
" - are we supposed to do now?" Ashley asked, annoyed.
"Stay put until we can come up with a plan." The salarian officer replied.
Shepard wasted no time with being overly polite and diplomatic.
"I'm Commander Shepard, Council SPECTRE. Are you in charge here? What is the situation?"
"I'm Captain Kirrahe, Third Infiltration Regiment, STG." He talked quickly, but calmly. "You and your crew just landed in a hotzone. Every AA gun within ten miles has been alerted to your presence."
"Do we need to expect a counterattack, Sir?" I asked when I finally stood next to Shepard. Kirrahe only now seemed to acknowledge the presence of the rest of us.
"Not immediately, Private. There is currently no enemy movement within five miles, and our spotters cannot detect any increase in their ground activity either. We are safe - for now."
He seemed neither surprised, nor angered at someone of the rank-and-file interrupting him. Which instantly promoted him to my personal top five of non-Alliance commanding officers in the entire series.
"So what do we do in the meantime?", Shepard requested.
"We stay put until the Council sends the reinforcements we requested."
O boi. Here it comes.
I darted a meaningful glance at my superior officer. My look of surprise and shock was feigned, Kaidan's was not. The rest of us weren't faring much better.
"... We are the reinforcements." Ashley said. It didn't sound too convincing.
"What?" I could almost see the disappointment radiating from Kirrahe. "You're all they sent? I told the Council to send a fleet!"
When I had first played Mass Effect, when I had been a few years younger, I had been a bit angry at that statement, I have to admit. How did he dare to disrespect the NORMANDY squad! But now, after a few years of wisening up, I understood his concern. Compared to the army that he had been requesting, we merry few didn't look like much.
But still.
"We couldn't understand your transmission. They sent me to investigate." Shepard explained.
"That is a repetition of our task." Kirrahe grumbled. His anger wasn't directed at us, that I could tell - but rather at the Council. "I lost half my men investigating this place."
"So what have you found?", Kaidan requested to know.
"Saren's base of operations." Kirrahe replied, flatly.
Well, judging by the looks on my comrade's faces, that certainly made everything much more... interesting to them.
"He's set up a research facility here, but it's crawling with Geth and very well fortified."
"... Is he here?" Shepard asked, disquieted. "Have you seen him?"
"No." Kirrahe shook his head. "But his Geth are everywhere, and we've intercepted some comms referring to Saren. This is his facility. No doubt about that."
I shifted my weight from feet to feet in growing unrest while Shepard continued to ask questions. And then, Kirrahe dropped the bomb.
"He's researching a cure for the Genophage."
I immediately looked to Wrex, whose sole reply was to narrow his eyes, and followed the dialogue closely. This was a crucial moment for the rest of the trilogy. A brief explanation later, and everyone understood the significance of this information. Shepard summed it up perfectly.
"The Geth are bad enough… but a Krogan army… he'd be almost unstoppable."
Kirrahe agreed. "We must ensure that this facility and its secrets are destroyed."
"Destroyed…?" Wrex drawled. "I don't think so. Our people are dying." He leaned forwards and glared holes into Kirrahe's skull. "This cure can save them."
I must give Kirrahe credit - for not flinching one bit. "If that cure leaves this planet, the Krogan will become unstoppable. We can't make the same mistake twice."
That was it for Wrex' temper.
He stepped forward.
"We are not a mistake!" He declared in a threatening voice, a finger pointed at the salarian. But then, he just walked to the water. I could taste the tension in the air.
"Is he going to be a problem?" Kirrahe asked, obviously irritated. "We already have enough angry krogan to deal with."
"With all due respect, Sir." I spoke up, calmly. "Without this krogan, I don't think any one of us would've survived this far."
Kirrahe eyed me warily, but refrained from saying anything. Smart Salarian.
I turned to Shepard, who too had her eyes on me.
"Requesting permission to talk to Wrex, Ma'am."
She gave it a brief thought, then nodded. "Yes, but I'll come with you." Fair enough.
"I'd appreciate that, Commander." Kirrahe blinked. The fact that salarian eyelids move up- instead of downwards briefly confused me. "My men and I need to rethink our plan of attack. Can you give us some time?"
"Go ahead, Captain." Shepard pointed in Wrex' direction, who, in the meantime, had pulled out his shotgun and sent blast after blast into the waves. "I'll be back soon."
"We won't be long, Commander." With that, he turned around and walked to what looked like his NCOs.
"Looks like things are a bit of a mess." Kaidan said quietly and folded his arms.
"Yeah." Ashley agreed and cast a suspicious look in Wrex' direction. "I wouldn't be so worried if it wasn't for our big guy. He looks like he's going to blow a gasket."
"Aye." He looked like always to me. But I too knew that inside of him, things were about to boil over. "We have calm him down. I'll talk to him."
"It wouldn't hurt." Ash nodded, but added hesitatingly: "Well, it might, actually. Be careful, Raven."
"I'm coming with you, Raven." Shepard said in a tone that didn't allow any opposition.
"I guess that's for the best, Commander." I gave her a tight-lipped smile. "Please refrain from shooting each other."
Shepard looked at me funnily. Not surprising.
The way I said it, it didn't sound like a joke.
"This isn't right." Wrex said. Shooting another cluster of nine metal shards into the water, he finally turned around as we approached. He ignored me, though, and addressed Shepard, letting his shotgun hang loosely in his hand by his side. "If there's a cure for the Genophage, we can't destroy it."
"I understand you're upset." Shepard replied in earnest. "But we both know Saren's the enemy here. He's the one you should be angry with."
"Really?" His voice became more passionate. "Saren created a cure for my people. You want to destroy it."
The Commander did not fail to notice how his gun was ready to immediately be brought to action. He slowly closed the distance, eyes blazing in fiery red.
I cursed inwardly. The lead had been taken from me too quickly to react. And now we were back to canon.
"Help me out, Shepard." He growled. "The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand."
"This isn't a cure, it's a weapon. And if Saren is allowed to use it, you won't be around to reap the benefits. None of us will."
"That's a chance we should be willing to take! This is the fate of my entire people we're talking about!"
They were now face to face with each other.
"I've been loyal to you so far. Hell, you did more for me than my family ever did. But if I am going to keep following you…"
He suddenly brought his shotgun up - a motion Shepard matched in an instant.
"...I need to know we're doing it for the right reasons."
"Wrex! Calm down!"
Both of them suddenly noticed my presence. My demand ended up with me staring down the business end of his shotgun. I fought the instinct to try and get out of danger. Instead, I kept my hands up, in his line of sight so he knew I wasn't trying any bullshit.
"What do you want, pyjak." Wrex growled. The expression in his reptilian eyes made it clear that the situation was on the verge of escalation.
I took a deep breath. Somewhere behind me, I imagined Ashley getting ready to take the shot.
But she couldn't. I had positioned myself in her line of fire.
"... I am not going to raise my gun against someone I consider a friend." I said, keeping my voice steady.
The ancient battlemaster didn't move an inch. But he didn't pull the trigger either. He wanted to hear what I had to say.
"I agree with you, Wrex. Destroying a potential cure for the Genophage is a bloody waste. Your people deserve better than to slowly fade away like this."
I shifted my weight, always maintaining eye contact.
"But at the same time… Would you take the cure, if that means handing over your entire species as hostages?"
I waited for five seconds. His posture didn't change a bit. I felt safe enough to continue.
"If you would ask Saren for his cure, considering everything he's done and we've seen so far, he would demand your unconditional loyalty as a price. He'd use you, just like the Council used you against the Rachni. And if I remember what happened to Beneziah, to the Thorian, to his friend Nihilus, almost to Shiala…"
I lowered my voice, and tried to match the intensity of his gaze. "I have the bad feeling he'll just get rid of you once you have outlived your usefulness to him. If. That cure even works. If. It isn't just a trick."
He remained quiet. Shepard stowed her gun away.
"Raven's right. He'd turn you into his tools. Just like he did with that Krogan on Therum. The one you called a Korolart, if I remember correctly."
Wrex flinched ever so slightly. But his weapon remained trained on my chest.
"Is that what you want for your people?"
Ten seconds passed without anything happening. It didn't help my heartbeat.
But then, he holstered his gun.
"All right. You two made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead, Shepard. Just one thing. When we find Saren, I want his head."
"That can be arranged." Shepard smiled a surprisingly cold smile. With one last glance on me, she turned around and walked back to the camp.
Wrex and I watched her go.
"Thanks for stepping in, pyjak."
The low rumble with which he spoke surprised me. I turned around, but he ignored me and began to follow her.
"One last thing, Wrex."
He stopped.
"If Saren has indeed found a cure, one that actually works and is not just something that he uses to lure an army to his service… Then we know at least that it does exist - and can be found again."
I stepped beside him, my arms folded behind my back. I stood as upright as I could.
"And should that happen... count on my help to get it."
Neither of us spoke for a few, long moments.
Then he actually chuckled.
"Good to know."
We returned to our squad. Ashley, in the meantime, had stowed her gun away and didn't mention the incident again.
Do you know what's funny?
I have no idea why I did that.
I have no idea anymore why on Earth I decided it was a good idea to intervene into the Shepard/Wrex talks.
I can't find any explanation. I just… I knew, that Shepard was leaning heavily towards Paragon. I knew, that we had found Wrex' family armor. I knew that this ending up in disaster was unlikely in the extreme.
And until Wrex was fully in control of Tuchanka, or at least his own clan, there wasn't all that much that could be done with him. In that sense, the outcome of ME 1 - him returning to become the de facto leader of the Krogan - was already the best one possible.
So why did I want to get involved? It was just plain stupid.
And yet… Maybe being on Wrex' radar a bit more was going to work out in the future. At that point however, I didn't have time to really think about it.
My concentration was tested enough as it was.
"Alright." Shepard said and motioned for us to assemble and listen to Kirrahe, who had returned from his conversation with his men. "You've come up with a plan. Let's hear it."
Kirrahe nodded. "A plan - of sorts. We can convert our ship's drive core into a twenty kiloton ordnance. Crude… but effective."
No doubt. I gulped and felt my palms getting sweaty. Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
"Nice." Ashley said with poorly hidden malicious joy. "Drop that nuke from orbit and Saren can kiss his turian ass goodbye."
But the captain immediately shook his head. "Unfortunately, the facility is too well-fortified for that. We'll need to place the bomb at a precise location."
I secretly pressed a key to have my armor inject a weak dose of sedative to keep my racing heartbeat down. If Chakwas noticed it, she didn't made any mention in our radio.
I listened intently to what was being discussed. The plan, as it stood, was simple. Not easy, but simple. Infiltrate the rear area of the base with Shepard's strike team, designated 'Shadow', to take out any ground and anti-air forces in the vicinity. Meanwhile, the remaining STG agents, split into three teams, would launch a frontal assault to act as a distraction. As soon as Shadow's area was clear, the NORMANDY would come in to deploy the nuke.
Kirrahe was realistic enough to expect extremely high casualty rates among his men.
"And that makes what I'm going to ask even more difficult. I need one of your men to accompany me. To help coordinate the teams."
Shepard thought for a few seconds. "We'll need someone who knows Alliance communication protocols."
"I volunteer, Commander." Kaidan spoke up without hesitation.
"Not so fast, LT." Ashley interrupted him. "Commander Shepard will need you to arm the nuke. I'll go with the salarians."
"With all due respect, Gunnery Chief." Kaidan said, slowly, but impatiently. "It's not your place to decide."
"Why is it," Ashley blurted, "That whenever someone says 'with all due respect' they really mean 'kiss my ass'"? She gave Kaidan a poisonous glare, to which the LT reacted equally hotheaded - quite unlike him.
I stared at Ash. Sure, she had been angry in the game. But not on this level. That was almost 'Horizon', or even 'Citadel Coup, but she doesn't trust Shepard' level. I just couldn't find an explanation. Had I missed something? Or did 'tHe gAmE' just lack the animation quality of real life?
To defuse the situation, Shepard addressed Kirrahe again. "Who would be better suited to the mission?"
"Either of these two will do, Commander. Both seem willing to sacrifice their lives if necessary, though if we are lucky such sacrifices won't be required."
Hell lot of an 'If', Kirrahe, I thought and felt the effects of my sedative vanish.
It was obvious that Shepard didn't make that choice easy on herself. She didn't reply for whole twenty seconds - knowing how quickly our Commander could react if needed, it felt like an eternity.
"Alenko, you're with the captain. Keep it simple, understood? No need to be flashy."
"Aye-Aye, Commander."
I suppressed the urge to inhale sharply. Kirrahe merely nodded. He seemed to like that choice.
"I will have the ordnance loaded onto the NORMANDY, and have one of my men brief your crew on its detonation sequence. Do you have any questions before we go, Commander?"
Shepard shook her head, but turned around to face us. "How about you guys? Any questions, any suggestions?"
I closed my eyes.
This is it.
"Yes, Ma'am, I do."
Shepard didn't seem puzzled in the slightest. Which, depending on how you look at it, was either extremely good, or extremely bad.
"Captain, this is Private First Class Raven. Raven, what do you need?"
"A question, and a few suggestions, if you don't mind, Sir."
Kirrahe faced me. "Yes, Private, what is it?"
"Firstly, a formality. I know that it's probably our only chance, but, ehm, excuse my language… Isn't the Council going to come after our asses for detonating a nuke on a garden world? I mean, the Commander's a SPECTRE, but we're all Alliance and STG..."
I had to at least ask. I had no authority to go against both command officers, but if something could be done to keep Udina from grounding our ship - or the entire Virmire situation from going to shit, for that matter, I just had to try it. Meekly in hindsight, I know. I should've… nevermind.
Kirrahe replied in an unusual manner. He grinned.
"Do not worry, Private. The Council is willing to bend the rules, if necessary. They realize just as well that sometimes the end justifies the means. It is the whole reason the Special Tasks Group exists in the first place."
"Good to know." I sighed. Udina will still put us in lockdown.
If I make it out.
Ah, whatever.
"I also have a few concerns regarding our battle plans." I continued. Shepard rose an eyebrow, and I'm sure Kirrahe would've done the same, if salarians had those.
"My main concern," I almost sputtered for the fear of having my voice fail from anxiety, "Is that the Geth will eventually notice what's going on behind their backs. I mean, taking out their AA installations will ring some bells, and if then the NORMANDY comes in to offload something, they would be fucking stupid to not realize what's being played."
I had to pause for breath. Shepard eyed me. "Continue on."
"I have taken a look at the maps of this planet you've forwarded to us, Sir, and we did notice a few Geth cruisers and frigates in orbit when we approached."
"I am informed about the NORMANDY's stealth capabilities." Kirrahe said and closed both of his eyes in a fashion that reminded me strongly of Mordin Solus.
No wonder he gets to be both a Major and allowed to be where they research these Krogan women in two years.
If we survive.
Fuck.
"My point is," I said, pushing my worries far into the back of my skull, "That if the Geth decide to get a dropship on top of whoever is at the bombsite, unless they're prepared, they'll be overrun within minutes. Extraction would be impossible. We need to reinforce that position as good as we can, to hold back whatever troops they throw at us from reaching that bomb."
The Captain frowned. For a scary moment, I thought he'd outright reject my suggestions. The average human commander probably would have. After all, I was only a trooper, and relatively green one. Fortunately, Kirrahe didn't know the latter; and there's one very positive thing I can say about Salarians… they are used to, and embrace the concept of thinking outside the box.
To Kirrahe, rank didn't matter all that much; all what counted were results. He was actually quite similar to Shepard in that regard.
"Your logic is sound, Private." Kirrahe agreed, frowned. "Unfortunately, we do have neither the men, nor the equipment to both to defend the bombsite and still create a suitable distraction. Even if we could, the distraction team would be too small to create enough diversion to keep Saren's forces away from the bomb."
"Which is why I am going to suggest something else." I faced Shepard again. "If we're fighting against stupid odds, we will need all the firepower we can get. Let's use the NORMANDY for heavy fire support."
Silence.
"You do realize, Private," Kaidan said, slowly, "that the NORMANDY is just a frigate, and our only way out, right?"
"I do, Lieutenant. At the same time, we're gambling already, so why not go all the way? These gentlemen here," I gestured at Kirrahe, "Are willing to sacrifice everything to see this through. I don't see why we shouldn't do the same thing." I shook my head. "No. If we want to have a chance to get as many people out as possible, and still succeed; we need the NORMANDY. If Shepard's team is going to take out the AA batteries anyway, that should give our ship enough room to navigate and take out any dropship or gunship trying to close in."
"If we also," I looked at Shepard, Kaidan and Ashley, "deploy every single member of 905, we should stand a decent fighting chance if things go pear-shaped. Or, at least we should be able to hold our position until we can all get extracted. Unless the Geth try to board the NORMANDY, we'll be useless there anyway. "
I inhaled. Exhaled.
"And since you're sending the LT with the Salarians… 905 needs some dedicated medic with them. I'd suggest that I join that team to balance it out."
This was it.
I know that some people will probably be angry or disappointed and come up with a million suggestions on how stupid a plan this was. Or, alternatively, why I didn't try this and that, really bend reality and make some far-flung rescue attempt to really change everything.
Honestly, I have asked myself this question far too often, as the years continued to pass. And, frankly, I have reached a point at which I am beyond caring how my actions may be evaluated by others. But I will try and explain my intentions regardless, so that the gentle reader may at least follow my thoughts - even if they may disagree.
Let me reiterate.
First, the amount of things that I could really influence were not as great as one might think. I couldn't mess with the bomb without either making people suspicious, or blowing us all up. The ignition mechanism was too complicated for me to understand, let alone tinker with unseen, and the simple fact that the STG guys had to explain to us how to even set it off should speak for itself.
Aside from that, the facility had to be destroyed. I knew that Reaper tech was around; the experiments that one Rana Thanoptis had carried out on captured STG members were still somewhere in the back of my head. And to my mind, having that stuff fall into the wrong hands was potentially even more dangerous than Saren's genophage cure and all the Geth tech combined.
The risk of having high-level people indoctrinated this early was just too high.
Second, I had decided to stick to what Shepard had taught me. The KISS principle, which is an acronym for 'Keep It Simple and Stupid.' In my case: Keep it as straightforward as possible and change only the minimal amount of variables to keep as much control over the outcome as possible.
The main problem of the Virmire mission in the game was a lack of manpower.
The salarians and the one accompanying them do not have enough firepower to hold the line for long enough, and will be overrun if one goes back to save the one at the bomb.
And on the other end, whoever sets up the bomb inside the facility has no chance whatsoever. A singular geth ship would drop so many firepower directly on top of their position that their only option would be to make their sacrifice worth it.
What made that more disturbing was that it was heavily implied that the few marines helping the bombsite defender would too give their lives to make sure Saren's base wouldn't survive.
The lack of firepower on both fronts didn't allow either team to hold their lines, and as a consequence, there was no time to allow for the evacuation of both parties.
My best bet was to boost one of the two team's defenses, allowing the NORMANDY to pick them up one after another. The salarians could stand their ground, to an extent. The others could not.
I was murderously sure that, if no intervention happened, Shepard would choose to save the salarian team. Saving as many lives as possible.
Which meant that Ashley and whoever else remained at the bombsite was doomed.
But, what if the threat of immediatly being overrun by Geth units deployed by that one dropship was removed? What if we then set up as hard a defense as we could?
We only needed a little more time.
Enough time for Shepard to extract the Salarians, and get 905 out without the need to preemptively pull the trigger.
It was a risky call. But no alternative offered less risk and the same chance of success.
Kaidan joining Kirrahe's forces was good. It meant that I had a plausible reason to stay with the bomb myself.
I'll be honest, as much as it pains me to say it.
The prospect of having to put my life on the line in such a manner scared me beyond belief. Me, who had been big-mouthed enough to tell Crow that I wasn't afraid of dying, suddenly got cold feet.
Who would have fucking thought.
I slept badly.
I ate without appetite.
I went still, getting more and more introverted the closer we got to the start of the mission.
More than once I toyed with the idea of just… telling Shepard. Or harming myself in some way, so that I wouldn't have to be on the surface in person. Not having to deal with the whole situation, happily pretending that everything would be alright - just like that.
I remember doing so once in the bathroom, staring into the mirror and contemplating to just 'slip up' during the mandatory fitness training for the day. A pulled or even torn muscle, even though much quicker to heal with modern medicine and my bodily implants, would still render me combat ineffective for enough time that I wouldn't be cleared for Virmire.
It was… alluring.
Until I forcefully pushed myself away, stepped under the shower and turned the dial all the way to 'cold'.
I may not have been brave enough to tell them all the whole truth.
But I would be damned if I would hide and run away while others had to pay for my decision. I would join my comrades, and place my fate in fortune's hands, just as I had done with theirs.
… Yet, at the same time - and while this may cause some people to turn up their noses at me - there was one small detail that made me hopeful.
There are unused bits of dialogue hidden in the data for Mass Effect 1, cut from the Virmire mission debrief that suggest that there would have been an option to save both Kaidan and Ashley in the game. I remember Ashley making a remark about how Shepard had almost sacrificed the whole mission to get both out in one piece. And Kaidan remarking about how he would've called anyone else 'lucky' for pulling such a stunt.
Call it a leap of faith, call it stupid and dimwitted, I don't care in the slightest.
It was possible.
And I was bound and determined to make it happen.
"Intriguing suggestions, Private." Kirrahe said and gave me what I considered an approving look.
"I will admit, I would feel a lot better about our chances if your men are willing to take this additional risk, Commander. And my men, who had to brace the Geth alone for so long, would also appreciate this act of bravery, I am sure."
"Are you certain that using the NORMANDY that aggressively is a good idea, Raven?" Liara spoke up out of all sudden. I turned to reply, but someone beat me to it.
"Raven is right." I was surprised at Garrus, who stepped forward and looked at his omnitool, which had the STG's intel on display. "The Geth have air superiority. With that air superiority, they will be able to roll over us with ease if they see what we're up to. And if they don't see that we're literally putting a bomb in their backyard, they're stupid." He looked up to meet Shepard's inquisitive gaze. "Pardon me, Commander, but Saren isn't stupid."
"That… sums it up perfectly, as far as I'm concerned." Ashley spoke up with a hint of gallows humor.
Wrex and Tali didn't say anything. Wrex probably didn't care.
Yes, I know that I frequently make it sound like he was the ultimate icon of disinterest, but that's just how he was - at least, most of the time.
And Tali was likely happy to follow Shepard's lead.
I cannot possibly give that girl enough credit for the quiet valor she showed so often. She was a pilgrim, half a child still. And yet, she just… quietly went about her business. And while she avoided the spotlight as much as she could, without her engineering genius, I'm willing to bet that we wouldn't have made it out of many sticky situations.
… Sorry, I am rambling again.
"... I get why you wanted us to produce as many barricades as we could, Raven."
This small, off-handed comment could've been interpreted as a little bit of irony.
The way Shepard made it sound send spikes of fear through my heart.
"I am sorry, Commander?"
"Nothing. We'll talk when the mission is done." She turned her attention at Kirrahe. "Raven has a point. I'll radio our pilot and make sure that the NORMANDY is fully combat ready should we need her. We can also deploy a total of eight additional marines to hold the bombsite, their designation is going to be Overlord."
Well, that one definitely makes sense.
"But, I could use one of your men to help the fifth team in setting up and protecting the bomb. Can you spare anybody?"
"A fair deal, Commander." He nodded. "I will have to talk with my men, but I think I know who would be best suited to act as a liason. He'll report in on the NORMANDY shortly."
One more for us, I thought, one less for the three distraction teams. Could work. Better them, than us. Not gonna lie, I wasn't bothered with how our allies would do at that point. They would manage.
A few more questions were asked and answered, but all of them were directly 'copied' from the game. Like details about the bomb, and that if activated, barely anything could stop it.
"Good." Shepard casually cracked her knuckles. "I'm ready when you are, Captain."
Kirrahe merely nodded again. "Excellent. Then if you'll excuse me, I need to prepare my men." He turned around and began to shout for everyone to assemble.
"Well, this is it." Kaidan addressed us. His voice carried what I would describe as 'calm urgency'. "Don't do anything foolish while I'm gone, people. An' that goes for you too, Commander."
"We'll be fine, LT." Ashley assured him.
"Yeah, I just... " He sighed. "Good luck."
"Is there something you wanted to say, Kaidan?"
"It's just weird, going under someone else's command," he replied to Shepard's a bit worried question. "I've got so used to working with you… all of you."
"Don't worry so much." Ash tried to cheer him up as well. "We'll see you on the other side."
That actually caused him to smile slightly, for a brief moment, before his features fell again.
"I know. I, uhm… I just wanted to say it's been an honour serving with you, Commander."
"Don't you fuckin' dare jinxing anything, LT." I said, in a joking manner that I didn't really feel. It caused Kaidan to chuckly anyway.
"Yeah, you're right." He stepped forward and gave my pauldron a friendly shove. Not something I had expected him to do, but it felt good regardless. "Get to the NORMANDY and tell the other marines what our plan is, Red. And tell them to dress up for some serious heat. Williams will radio in with their full briefing shortly, when the salarians get the bomb and their man to you."
"Already on it, Sir." I grinned, but turned to Shepard. "Unless you still need me, Commander."
"Just so that everyone is on the same page." Shepard looked around. "Kaidan's with the STG. Raven, you're riding with the NORMANDY and make sure that the bomb is ready when we get in. Williams, you'll stay with me for the assault, but will take command of 905 when we regroup. Raven, tell Corporal Miller he's in charge until then. Everyone else is with me. Understood?"
"Yes, Commander." "Aye-Aye." "Okay, Shepard."
"Well then, folks. Let's deal some damage. Good luck everyone." Shepard nodded in my direction. I took that as an order to get to our ship, which I did immediately.
As shame that I couldn't listen to Kirrahe's famous 'Hold The Line!' speech in person. But, well, it does get boring to hear it after a dozen times anyway.
I was almost out of hearing range when he began talking. I briefly turned around and saw a line of STG agents standing at attention. The wear and tear they all had been through was painfully obvious.
Yet still, they all stood upright and attentive. Discipline and comradeship at its finest.
Maybe there was still hope.
"You all know the mission, and what is at stake…"
I nodded to myself, stepped into the NORMANDY's shadow and waved at Miller who stood on the ramp, watching the gathering with interest.
"Guys, we've got work to do!"
"'Sup, Raven?"
I felt my lips twitch.
"The salarians have a small, twenty kiloton gift for Saran. And we're going to be the delivery service..."
A/N: Okay, fellas. Real Talk.
I know I've promised to finish Mass Effect 1 in 2018. It, obviously, hasn't happened.
And since my struggles IRL seem to continue without an end and have led me to some drastic measures, I will also need to apply some drastic measures to the future of this story.
Instead of making extremely infrequent updates which then are more than 10.000 words strong, I will instead start to restrict myself to a hard limit of 8.000 words, split missions and subplots up more, if I must, and try to increase the frequency with which I release new chapters instead, so that at the very least you can reliably expect a new chapter to be released every 2-3 months.
I grow increasingly tired of sitting on half-finished chapters which I then start to re-edit and rewrite major parts of, because I think they can be done better, when in fact all I'm doing is making things worse by trying to improve. I mean, Noveria was bad in that regard, and although the common consensus seems to be that the pair of chapters was alright, it's probably for the best that you don't know how they have been 'produced'.
Anyway, rant over. Sorry, but this has been eating on me for some time now, and I think I need to make a change.
But, yeah. 2019. You guys alright? Have a hard time believing that it has been almost 4 years since the first chapter has been released, and although writing it is not always pure joy (... as you can probably tell now), I like to think that it was and continues to be worth it. It's nice to see that even though it's now been 6 years since the release of the last part of the trilogy, people are still interested not only in the games themselves, but also the myriad of fan-made stuff.
I digress.
Serious question: Is the way Raven thinks and acts logical to you? I mean, it makes sense to me after more or less tearing the mission apart in-game; but then again, Raven and I are essentially the same. I don't know if the way I think makes sense to you lot, and I would absolutely hate for things to be misunderstood. I mean, 5CW is doing an excellent job at questioning and putting the logic in this story to the test; but it's just the two of us compared to over a thousand of you that are being addressed. And if things appear aloof and far-fetched to you all, in this story with the premise to stay as much down-to-earth, logical and 'realistic' as possible, then I am not doing my job very well.
Please let me know in the review section! I dunno if you've noticed, but occasionally, I do actually address some open issues of one chapter in the following chapter; and I reply to feedback directly via PM. That is, if you have a profile on this website - I can't reply to those of you that are writing guest reviews. Also, kindly consider following to stay up to date with the releases; and marking this story as a favourite to show off on your profile.
Enough of my ramblings! Thank you all for reading; and I'll see you next time, when Shepard Nukes A Garden World. I think.
PS: And this chapter is 5ColouredWalker beta'd and approved. If you spot any errors (Again. Sorry.), please throw the tomatoes at me… If nothing else, I can use them in a salad :P