Hey! Well this is chapter 2 that has been written for about a week and I've never bothered typing it up, not because I'm lazy but because I'm really not happy with it! So I'm just gonna post it anyway and see what you all think, but be warned its really rubbish! And I'm not online at the moment so I'll put all the replies to the reviews for chapter one in the next chapter or else I'll paste it onto the end of this one!
CHAPTER TWO – ONE STEP FORWARD
Her mind was preoccupied. She had left a few months ago before her pregnancy had started to show. There were too many memories of him there. She had tried to forget; she longed to forget about him and their beautiful yet brief romance. Sam looked at her nightstand and wept.
This was a nightly ritual for her. She looked at the picture of the four of them together. They had so many good times and yes there were bad times but she only wanted to remember the good times, the way they were.
Every night she asked herself the same questions 'Would it be different if I'd been with them? Would Jack still be alive?' Some nights these questions would just repeat around her head until she felt dizzy.
She looked down at her swollen stomach. In there, there was a life, a person that she and Jack had created. A life that before even meeting him or her she already loved more than life itself. That new life was all she had left, that and her memories.
She regularly heard from Daniel, every other day unless the new SG1 were off world and then it would be as soon as he got back. Sam guessed it was because Daniel thought she would do something stupid like run and never come back.
Daniel and her dad were the only people who knew she was pregnant with Jack's baby. Her dad came to see her as often as he could but for weeks at a time, he was on missions for the Tok'ra.
For once, the thoughts that preoccupied her mind soon subsided and she was allowed to drift into a troubled sleep. Every night she dreamed of the same thing, the people she loved being killed and she was powerless to stop it.
She saw Cassie, Janet, Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond, her dad and her brother all being killed. But more often then not, she saw Jack die. In her dreams she saw him die over and over again and she was couldn't stop it no matter how hard she tried as it came to the moment where she could try and save him she couldn't move.
When she woke up, the light filtered through her curtains. She looked at the clock, it read 6am. She had had 6 hours sleep which was good for her because she would usually have a couple of hours sleep and then wake up too frightened and upset to sleep again.
Her usual morning routine would be to mooch around her house for a while, get dressed and then do any grocery shopping she needed to.
However, today she broke her routine to do some things she knew she had to do and that if she kept putting off doing them then she would never be able to move on.
Another part of Sam's routine was to go to Jack's grave. She did this while she could because once the baby was born she wouldn't be able to. When she went to his grave she would take a single red rose with her. Sometimes she would just sit there and cry but most of the time she would talk to him, tell him about the baby and she would even take the pictures from the scans with her to show him. Sam believed that if she just sat there and listened hard enough she could hear his voice in the wind. When she told him about her dreams, she was positive she heard him saying to stop being stupid because there was nothing she could have done and even though she knew deep down there wasn't anything she could have done she still believed that there was something that could have been done. Sam also always talked about Daniel, he was always getting himself into trouble on the missions now, getting captured by beautiful princesses and the such!
Normally, she would then go do the grocery shopping and any chores she had to do but today she needed to start getting baby things and she had to go and clear out Jack's cabin, Daniel had said he'd go with her to help her but it was something she needed to do herself.
She hadn't set foot in the cabin since their last day of leave and things were exactly as they had left them. She was overcome with emotion as she sat down on his couch and could still smell his scent on the cushions she had gratefully sunk into on that first day. As she surveyed the room she could see something shrivelled up underneath the table. Automatically she knew what it was and she tried to fight the tears as she remembered their last night together.
It was the red rose Jack had given her on the last night they spent together before they had to go back to the SGC and where they would go from lovers back to Colonel O' Neill and Major Carter. She always remembered that night when she thought of jack.
FLASHBACK
Sam was soaking in the tub after last nights date with Jack. When she thought of it, her entire body was covered in an attractive blush and she had a wicked grin on her face. When she was with him she could imagine spending the rest of her life with him. He did things to her body that no other man could possibly even dream of doing, one smile from Jack would turn her knees to jelly.
As she lay there drifting off into a slumber the phone began to ring. She was tempted to stay in the tub but Jack said he'd call her and she wanted to answer the phone. As fast as she could she stood up, pulled a towel from the rack and hurried to answer the phone.
"Hello"
"Hey Carter, damn I mean Sam. I'm really sick so I don't think you should come over tonight, I'm just gonna head off to bed. Sorry."
"Oh erm, well okay, I'll see you tomorrow then Sir. Goodnight"
"Goodnight Sam."
As they hung up Jack was smiling. He could read Sam like a book!
Sam disconcertedly returned to her bath, all the preparations she had made seemed worthless, shaving her legs, plucking her eyebrows, painting her toe nails, having a facial and getting her hair highlighted and restyled. What seemed even more worthless was the new lingerie laid out on her bed ready to be put on.
As she lay there she made a decision, she would put the lingerie on –because every woman likes to feel glamorous- under her jeans and a top and go over to Jack's anyway because he probably wouldn't be up to cooking something for himself.
She quickly dried off and moisturised, put on her lingerie and put a top on. She decided to wear her denim knee length skirt so she could wear her satin teddy underneath without it crumpling up in her jeans. She decided to take her top off because the teddy could be worn without a top over it as it looked like a strap top. The bra was brown satin with cream lace above each cup. The panties were also brown satin with the cream lace on the front. The teddy was brown satin and across the top there was cream satin woven in. She slipped on her flip-flops, sprayed some perfume on her neck and wrists, applied a slick of lipstick, checked her hair and grabbed her jacket and bag.
On the drive over to Jack's she debated with herself about whether or not to stop by the local Chinese restaurant but she decided against it. If there was no food in Jack's place then she could always order out later on if she needed to.
As she pulled up in the drive, she noticed the lights were on low in Jack's dining room. Suspecting the worst, she snuck up to the window to see if he was with another woman.
'Come on Major; pull yourself together just go and look. If there is another woman there just walk away and think of this as a holiday romance, nothing more and nothing less than a holiday romance. Just remember the good times and don't hold it against him, it would never work out anyway.'
Blinking back the tears she crept stealthily to the window. The window was open slightly and she could hear their song playing. As she peered in she could see that the table was set out for two. As she looked further in she could see Jack pacing and he looked as though he was talking to himself. Blocking out the music, she concentrated on the sound of his voice.
'Come on Sam don't tell me I got you wrong. I know that you would come up and see me if you thought I was ill, you did before.'
Instantly her heart was warmed and she was positively glowing from head to toe. She crept out from her hiding place and raised her hand to knock on the door. As she stood there at the door, she could hear his footfalls against the floor.
The door opened and Jack was stood there wearing black trousers and a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
"I had a feeling it would be you Sam. Come on in."
As Sam entered, she noticed that Jack was hiding something behind his back and she asked him what it was.
"Ah well, you see, I don't if I should give this to you or not. Erm well I guess I could give it to you."
From behind his back he pulled out a single red rose.
"Thanks, why have you given it to me though?"
"Well I got you a rose because like you its one of the most beautiful flowers in the world and I got you a red rose because red is the colour of passion and you are the most passionate person I know. Your passion for life is unlike anyone else's and I well, I love you for it."
Sam stood there shocked, thinking about what he had just said.
"That is the most beautiful thing that anyone one has said to me. I love you too Jack."
Jack leaned down to her and she closed her eyes as they shared the tenderest kiss Sam had ever had. If she had thought it was physically possible, they would have been glowing in a golden light.
"Come on Sam, dinner's nearly ready."
Jack took her by the hand and led her to the dining room. The room was full of candles and there was a fire burning in the fireplace. He let go of her hand and bowed.
"May I have this dance?"
In spite of herself Sam giggled.
"What did I tell you about giggling Major?!" Jack said with a smile. He crossed the distance between them and held her in a dancing position.
"Now, Sam, the light of my dreary old life. Do you want to dance?"
"There is nothing else in the world I would rather be doing then dancing with you."
"Nothing you said?" asked Jack with a mischievous glint in his eye as he spun her out and back into his embrace.
"What, what about dinner?"
"Shit, the pasta"
Jack ran to the kitchen to salvage the dinner.
"Hey Sam, can you open a bottle of wine? There's one already out on the table."
Picking up the bottle of wine, she inspected the label and smiled. It read 'Carter's Vineyard'
She poured out two glasses and took them into the kitchen.
"Thanks darling."
Sam smiled again and then frowned. There was something they really needed to discuss.
"Jack, erm I really don't know how to say this but erm, what's gonna happen when we're back at work? We can't have any kind of relationship with the frat.regs you know that and I know that."
"Sam, I will move heaven, earth and hell for us to be together, I'll resign god dammit. Us not being together drives me insane and now that I've got you I don't want to have to let you go..."
"But.."
"No Sam let me finish. I retired before and I'll do it again."
"Jack please, at least leave it for a few months before you do because if we don't work out then you'll have resigned, retired whatever for nothing."
"Sam, we will work out. I've never felt like this before about anyone not even the Simpson's and you know how much I love that show! Anyway dinner is ready to be served so if you would like to take a seat I'll bring it through for you."
They ate in a relaxed way, savouring everything about that night. Hands brushed against hands passing each other things and legs brushed against legs as they moved.
After they had finished, they sat on Jack's sofa with a glass of wine and talked. They talked about anything and everything as if it was going to be their last day alive.
A few hours later and it was getting late.
"I have to go Jack, we need to be at the SGC early tomorrow for the briefing."
"Stay over Sam, we don't know when we're gonna get the chance to again."
"Well ok, I'll have to leave early though."
"Well you can go on up and use the bathroom and stuff first while I clean up."
Sam ascended the stairs and literally ran into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and then took off her skirt and flip-flops. She applied another slick of lipstick and lay down on the bed in a way she hoped was sexy. She was really glad she had decided to put her new lingerie on! She wanted to make this night one they could both remember until the next chance they would have to steal some time together again.
She heard Jack climbing the stars and she looked as seductive as possible. Jack walked into the room and just stood still his mouth slightly open. Sam sat up slightly and motioned for him to come to her. She drew him into a lingering kiss and then pulled him down to her.
After their love making, Sam laid awake watching Jack's chest rise and fall. She moved carefully not to disturb him and positioned herself so she could see his face. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Innocent and really cute. She snuggled down into his arms again and lay there fulfilled and content.
That morning when she left she was in such a rush that she had forgotten to pick up the rose from the table and brushed it under there with her bag.
"Hey Sam!"
"Yeah?"
He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her with all the passion in his being.
"God, your gonna see me in a couple of hours."
"Yeah but when I do see you I won't be able to do that."
"Well.." said Sam smiling, "I guess you better kiss me again so you can resist the temptation to do so in the briefing."
They kissed again with a more desperate and urgent need as though that kiss would be their last. And it was.
Sam rubbed her fingers across her lips as though she had just felt Jack kiss her again. She wiped the tears from her face that were starting to roll down her cheeks and went into the kitchen. She opened the fridge in the hope of finding some bottled water in there but all she found was bottles of Guinness. She giggled to herself and was certain she could hear Jack chiding her about it.
She went up on the roof to start packing things up from up there. She didn't have the heart to do it because she believed that Jack would be coming home back to her but she had seen his body and she went to his grave nearly every day. It was her last lifeline to her dreams.
In a few hours she was done. It was hard for her to comprehend that one man's life could be packed up in such a small amount of time.
She left most of the boxes in the place she had packed them, as they were too heavy for her to lift now. She would ask Daniel to come by and do it later.
She gathered up her things, this time remembering to pick up the rose. She climbed into her car and headed to the baby shop. All the way she was wishing that Jack were going with her. This was his baby too and she wanted him to do everything that she was doing, she would have given anything for him to be there with her now, the way it should be.
She bought all the things she would need and placed them in what was now the Baby's Room. She like other expectant mothers was superstitious so she wasn't going to put up the cot until after the baby was born. She also bought some baby clothes and a rocking chair. Once the rocking chair was in the right place she sat on it and looked out of the window. She loved this room so much, which was why it made a perfect baby room. It was filled with an incredible natural light with a large window that led onto a small balcony. In the summer, she could imagine the windows being open, the curtains gently blowing in the light summer breeze and the last golden rays of the sun bathing the room.
She was peacefully drifting off in the chair when the phone began to ring. Being lazy, she decided to let the machine get it. First hearing her own voice then the beep she heard Daniel's voice ring out saying that she should get to the SGC straight away. At first she thought there was a problem with her dad so as quickly as she could, she got up from the chair and got into her car.
The drive to the SGC seemed to take triple the time it would usually take. She kept hitting red lights. She pulled up into her usual spot and the guard on duty let her straight through.
She walked down to the briefing room as fast as she could and was relieved to find Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond gathered there. There was a fourth person there she couldn't see and she assumed it was her father.
"Hey guys, Sir"
"Its George now Sam."
"Sorry Si..George."
"Major Carter you did not inform us that you were with child."
"Well, that's another part of my life Teal'c. But yes I am with child, I'm due in about two and a half months."
From the look on George's and Teal'c's faces, Sam could tell that they were doing the math. She quickly changed the subject before the awkward questions started.
"So what did you need me down here so quickly for?"
"Please sit down Sam." Said Daniel.
"Well if its ok with you guys I'll stand because its getting harder and harder for me to get up. So what's up? Is my dad okay?"
"He's fine Sam."
"So why did you call me down here so fast?"
"There's something we need you to see."
As George said this, the fourth person stood up and turned round to face Sam.
"Hey Carter..."
Sam didn't hear the rest of what they had said as she had passed out into Teal'c's arms.
Well, I hope that that was ok for you all. That seemed a lot easier to write then some of my other fics it just flowed.
Cookies to everybody that has reviewed. Please keep reviewing because it makes what I do worthwhile!
Love Lis xXx