CHAPTER THREE – TWO STEPS BACK

"Hey Carter..."

Sam didn't hear the rest of what they had said as she had passed out into Teal'c's arms.

Sam's eyes fluttered open. She couldn't remember where she was or why she was there. Beginning to become more aware of her surroundings, she realised where she was and whom it was she had seen. She sat bolt upright, tears rolling down her face and plopping onto her top saying to herself over and over again, "Its not him, he's dead, he isn't here that wasn't him."

As she was repeating the mantra to herself, she felt someone gently pushing her down on the bed. It was Daniel.

"Get some sleep Sam, it's late. We'll talk in the morning, ok?"

"Yeah. Daniel is it really him?"

"Yeah, I think it is. We're gonna do some tests just to check."

"But, he, he died in your arms Daniel. It can't be him. How did he get here?"

"Sam Just trust me, we'll sort this all out I promise you."

"Ok. Goodnight Daniel."

"Night Sam."

Sam snuggled down into the bed and Daniel placed a chaste kiss on her cheek, stroked her hair and left.

As she dozed, Sam was sure she could feel someone stroking her cheek, but she was too comfortable to investigate. She unconsciously leaned into the touch earning a smile from the person who was sat there. It was Jack.

The next day Sam awoke refreshed. It had been the best nights sleep she had had in almost seven months. But something was niggling her at the back of her mind. Daniel came in not long after she had woken up and took her up to the briefing room.

"Are you sure you wanna go in there Sam?"

"Daniel, I thought you could understand that I need to know where he's been for the last seven months. I need to know why he hasn't been there for me and the baby."

"Sam, for all intent and purposes, he's been dead for the last seven months."

"Well what the hell is he then a ghost for crying out loud?"

"I don't know. That's what we're trying to find out. Please don't get your hopes up because I don't want you to be disappointed if he can't remember anything. Come on lets go to the briefing room."

As they walked up to the briefing room, Sam became more and more apprehensive. Except for seeing him for a few seconds before she passed out, she hadn't seen jack in seven months. It would take all her strength baby or no baby to stop her from vaulting across the table into his arms, the place that felt like home.

"Morning Carter, Daniel." Said jack. He too looked apprehensive but for an entirely different reason to Sam. She had noticed him staring at her swollen stomach, which instinctively made her wrap her arms around herself protectively.

"Hey Sir." Next to her she heard Daniel saying the same.

The door opened and this Janet emerged followed closely by General Hammond.

"Now that we're all here we'd better get down to business. Colonel O' Neill perhaps you'd like to start for us. Where have you been for the past seven months son?"

"Well, I'm not sure how to answer that sir. A lot of it is a blank, I can just remember before I died, and not wanting to leave." Jack responded whilst looking at Sam with an intent gaze. This did not go unnoticed by Teal'c, who was sat there with his usual impassive face, taking every word and every reaction in.

Sam felt nervous under Jack's gaze and she sat there silently praying that someone would take the initiative and ask him a question, even if it would only divert his gaze for a few minutes. Daniel sensing her discomfort spoke up.

"So you disappear for seven months with no memory of what you've been doing and you expect us to believe its really you?"

"Look Danny, I know its unbelievable but it is me. I'll do anything to prove that it's me."

Sam spoke up. "What happened on the last night of leave, the day before you died?"

"I, no, I'm not ruining your career by telling everybody what happened."

All eyes were focused on Sam.

"I don't have a career anymore, I haven't since I found out I was pregnant. So tell them." She snapped, all the anger and the pain being released at the person who had caused it.

"Carter... Sam, I'm not gonna discuss this with you now. Its not appropriate."

"Huh, not appropriate" she scoffed.

"Sam, please. Not now."

"Please could we just get back to the matter at hand? Do you remember anything of the last seven months?"

"I told you I don't"

With this he got up and stalked out of the room, frustrated at not being able to remember.

However, that night as he lay there on his bed, praying that sleep would welcome him, he became restless. Jack deciding that he wasn't going to get any sleep went to one of his favourite places. One where no one would think to look.

He slowly began to climb the ridge. He remembered it being a lot easier the last time but the last time he needed to think, he hadn't lost him memory of the past seven months. What he didn't expect was to see anyone sat up there. Noticing the person up there, he turned around but not before he was seen. The person arose and started to make their way back down the ridge. He caught a glimpse of the persons face and called out

"Hey Sam. Wait I think we need to talk."

"I don't have anything to say to you."

She began to make her way back down, but jack was in hot pursuit. He grabbed her wrist and turned her to face him but in his haste Sam lost her footing and tripped.

I wanted to be evil and finish it here but I couldn't do that to you

Jack was pacing outside the examination room in the Emergency Room. He'd called Daniel not knowing if it was a good idea or not. He was just sat there glaring at him and a look of what jack could only perceive has hatred.

"How could you do that to her Jack."

"I DIDN'T.. I didn't go after her I was going out onto the ridge and she was already up there, I said to her that we needed to talk she said she didn't have anything to say to me, she started making her way back down I grabbed her arm and she must have lost her balance or something. I tried to catch her but I couldn't."

"Well," said Daniel coolly, "you should have left her alone when she said she didn't want to talk to you she's confused and she's hurting, Jack. She has nightmares every night about trying to save YOUR WORTHLESS ASS!"

At this point a doctor came out of the room.

"Doc how is she?"

"She's in shock and a small of pain but there is no damage to the baby from the fall. Luckily she only bruised two of her ribs, but it could have been a lot worse."

"Oh thank god" jack mumbled while rubbing a hand over his face.

"Now gentlemen, if you don't mind I have to remind you that this is a hospital and that there are sick people here. So if you're going to start arguing then I suggest you leave. Now which one of you is Jack O' Neill?"

"Er, I am doctor."

"Right Miss Carter has been asking for you. So if you'd like to go on in. but please don't agitate her she is tired and needs her rest."

Jack looked at Daniel, who gave him the slightest of nods and curled his hand around the doorknob internally debating with himself whether or not he should go in. Throwing caution to the wind, he turned it, opened the door and stepped inside.

"Sam, I am so sorry I never..."

"Jack, I can't handle this right now. I have mourned you for the past seven months. I don't want to go through this again the next time something happens."

"Sam, I never in a million years wanted to leave you. I'm gonna do anything I have to do to find out where I was because I can't believe how much I've missed out. I will never leave you again."

"I'm sorry jack but that just isn't enough for me. You'll still keep going on missions through the gate. And what if you not luck this time? What if you die and don't come back? Please just leave jack."

Jack said nothing else, he just turned on his heels and left.

"Sam, are you okay?" asked Daniel cautiously.

"No I, I don't think I am." She said through her tears.

"Oh Sam. What did he say to you?"

"He didn't say anything. Its what I said to him."

Daniel just looked at her with pity in his eyes and pulled her into a hug.

Jack didn't know how long he had been sat there, looking at nothing in particular, just thinking. He was beginning to wonder when everyt6hing had got screwed up. Ah yes that was probably the first time they'd met. How they had bantered during that first meeting. Her smile made his heart fill up with hope. A hope that this world wasn't as messed up as he thought it was.

The door opened and he was brought from his reverie by Teal'c.

"Are you well O' Neill?"

"No Teal'c I'm not well not well at all."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Nah, it doesn't matter T. Its just confusing."

"Perhaps if you start at the beginning it will not be so confusing."

"Have you got any beer?"

"I came prepared," said Teal'c producing a pack of beer.

"Right. The beginning. Well that would be before the first mission. Before we met you. She strode into that briefing with her head held high and a look of steely determination on her face. Her whole body language just read 'Don't mess with me' and I was hooked. As I got to know her more, the more I wanted to spend time with her. I would never have guessed she felt the same until that whole Zay'tarc fiasco when she admitted she felt the same. Those three months when I couldn't get home my heart ached for her. I had tried to forget her. I threw myself into pointless flirting with Laira just so I would forget Sam's face. Her eyes haunted my dreams. And the thought of her smile kept me going. Those nights we shared together before I died or whatever the hell it was I did, were the best of my life. I didn't want to leave her." He was sobbing now "and now she's told me to stay out of her life."

"O' Neill, have you told Major Carter of your feelings?"

"There's no point now. She hates me. I almost made her loose her baby. If I hadn't have grabbed her arm, she wouldn't have fallen and bruised her ribs."

"O' Neill you must tell her how you feel. You have nothing to loose."

"Thanks T but I don't think I can tell her."

"Very well O' Neill."

Teal'c rose and left Jack alone to his thoughts and his Bud.

Sam was awoken the next morning by feeling someone's intense gaze upon her. She rolled onto her side and looked into Daniel's eyes.

"Morning did you sleep ok? What happened with Jack then?"

"Morning, yeah I did and I really don't wanna talk about it. He must hate me now so I'm just gonna get on with my life now! The doctor said I should be ok to go home today. I just need a final examination and then I can go. So I'm gonna go home and soak in the tub. I'll call you later on Daniel." She garbled desperate to not dwell on the previous nights events.

"Sam, talk to him, tell him how you really feel, how you really feel. You love him and I understand that you're hurting but he didn't want to leave you and I know that he would never intentionally hurt you."

Sam sniffed. "I know Daniel but things have changed now. I have to move on. I made a promise to myself that I would."

"Well ok. Call me when your home so I know your safe."

Daniel left the room and hurried to the SGC. He needed to talk to Teal'c and fast. If their plan went accordingly Sam and Jack would get back together soon. They would make sure of it.

A/N 2 Because I love you all so much I decided to upload two chapters as my humble apologies for not updating sooner but I caught that really nice cold that seems to be going around that lingers for about 2 weeks!

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