"Oh Remmy!"

Sirius's voice floated from the entrance the Marauder's dormitory. Remus sighed and snapped his book shut, glancing at Peter, who sat muttering, poring over his Potions textbook. James and Sirius sauntered in, collapsing down on Remus's bed.

"Yes Padfoot?" Remus asked grumpily, looking longingly at the book lying on his bed.

"What a response!" Sirius complained, laying the back of his hand on his forehead and rolling his eyes dramatically. "Prongs, old chap, our pal Remmy seems less then over the moon to see us!"

"What woe!" James agreed, clutching his heart and staring at REmus imploringly, "I forgive you Moony...I..." his chest heaved in a fake sob, "I just wanted to do you a good turn."

Remus frowned at him.

"My dear Mr Prongs, what in the name of arse are you raving on about?"

"If you don't know then we're not going to tell you until you beg our forgiveness and help us with a little project." Sirius settled back with a complacent smirk. Remus groaned and said crabbily.

"I, Mr Moony, implore your forgiveness, Messrs Prongs and Padfoot. As a Marauder I solemnly swear to never commit this terrible disrespect ever again, and I continue to follow the Marauders Code of Honour. Happy now?"

"Very." replied James. He reached into his robes and pulled out the crystal phial. "Potter sent you this. Says to take 100mls every night of the full moon and ask him if you have any questions."

Remus's face lit up, and he happily accepted the potion before turning back to his friends.

"So what in Gods sweet name is your little project?"

Sirius gave him a very scary smile.

"If dear Mr Wormtail would like to come hither, myself and Mr Prongs will inform you of our master plan."

Peter didn't move. Remus sighed irritably.

"Wormtail, Padfoot says to come here."

Peter squeaked and jumped about a foot in the air.

"Sorry Moony. I was just..."

"Doing homework. How could he Padfoot?" James wailed.

"I know not, Prongs," said Sirius gravely. "Redeem yourself, Wormy, and get your arse over here."

As the Marauders settled on their official headquarters (Remus's bed, chosen because it was cleanest) James announced with some pride.

"Friends, Marauders, mischief makers, I give you..." he paused dramatically for effect, "Operation Matchmaker teachers."

Sirius let out a gasp and applauded, but Remus sighed again.

"we're not trying to set up Dumbledore and McGonagall up again, are we? Because I've told you a thousand times that it isn't going to work."

Sirius just smiled condescendingly.

"Moony, Moony, Moony. That is so passé. Besides, those two have probably been at it like bunnies for the past twenty years. It is not of them I speak. Prongsie, explain."

James grinned.

"I'm sure you've noticed that our dear defence teachers flirt just a tad." Remus snorted. James glared at him. "Anyway, the way they were behaving when we popped in to see them cemented our suspicions."

"He means it made them certain." Remus clarified for Peter's benefit. "Why, what did they do?"

"Ginny kept touching his hair, and when we left she sat herself down on his lap."

Sirius sniggered at the memory of Potter's surprised expression. "Now we may not be the relationships guru of the group, but I reckon that there's something afoot in the wind,"

"Oh my God, he's turned philosophical," Sirius muttered.

"I'll choose to ignore that. Anyway, what do you think, O Wise Relationships Guru?"

Remus considered.

"Well, first off, I think that both of you suffer from highly overactive imaginations. However, since you delivered my potion without spiking it and because I actually think there's something going on between the two of them, I'll help."

"Me too!" Peter piped up.

§

"So how are we going to plan this?" Sirius asked, lolling back on Remus's pillow.

"How should I know?"

"Because one, you're the relationships guru, and two, you came up with all those plots to get Lilykins and Prongsie together."

"Ha, yeah, because they worked so well. In fact, I'm actually snogging my girlfriend Lily Evans now!" Sirius looked surprised.

"Are you?"

Remus ignored them, and responded to James's point.

"Well, they would have done, if Prongs didn't understand, 'don't show off' as 'hex Snape into oblivion.'"

"Easy mistake to make." James insisted.

"You reckon?"

"Yep."

"You lie."

"Nope."

"You do!"

"Nope."

"Shut up, I call this meeting to order." Broke in Remus, hitting James and Sirius in turn round the head with his book.

"Moony, Marauders Rule number one is; never partake in anything resembling order." Sirius reminded, looking like a parent giving their child the 'I'm very disappointed in you" lecture.

"Whatever. In that case, I call this meeting to organised chaos." Remus grinned, pleased at getting the upper hand.

"That's more like it!"

"So. We have two teachers who both flirt shamelessly. Lets establish exactly what we know about them. Starting with Potter."

"He looks like Prongs."

"His first name's Harry."

"He's survived Avada Kedavra."

"He can throw off the Imperius."

"He's totally in love with Ginny."

All of the Marauders turned to Peter, the last one to have spoken, with varying looks of incredulity. Peter shrugged.

"What? I'm not blind or anything!"

"Wormtail has a brain," said Sirius in an awed whisper, "The miracle has happened."

Peter went red,

"Shut up, Paddy. We al know those two brain cells of yours must get lonely rattling around in your head by themselves."

Another silence. (I know Peter is really OOC, but we have to remember that he wasn't always evil, OK? Actually, I don't think he is, even now.) That was most probably the wittiest thing Peter had ever said, and it was all James could do not to burst into tears of happiness.

"Peter, you have successfully shown both insight and sarcasm. Well done. But I believe our meeting was called for a different purpose. We will start at the observation stage, closely watching both Professors and learning exactly what their feelings for the other are. Have any of you noticed that she keeps mentioning the 'Overprotective prats' and he mentioned himself being beaten up by six red heads. Sounds like she has brothers that think she's a baby or something."

"Hmm, good pont, Moony. Maybe he's scared of them." Sirius chuckled, "He doesn't give a damn about riling Voldemort, but look at the way he acts around Ginny! He's terrified of her!"

"Terrified of her, or does a really good job of pretending to be," said James thoughtfully, "I mean, it's obvious that he could repel any hex she throws at him."

Remus frowned.

"Good point, Prongs, I didn't know you knew how to observe something as subtle as that."

"You're rubbing off on him," injected Sirius, "He'll start reading all the time and being sensitive if we don't watch out."

James looked horrified.

"Padfoot, don't let the nasty sensitive bugs get me! They have nasty powers!"

"At least you'd have a better chance of winning Lily." Pointed out Remus. James glared at him.

"I've given up on her, Remus, OK? Will you please stop rubbing it in?"

Remus fell silent, for once feeling the emotion that we retain from 'putting our foot in it'.

OK, that's that done now. Next chappie is gonna be a physical combat lesson, in which we're gonna see a display of Harry (& Ginny, but especially Harry)'s fighting skills, plus a nice bit of banter and Ginny kicking Harry's arse in a tongue lashing competition. Thanx to:

Chyp

Tondo the Half Elf: don't worry, I'm gonna let the readers decide if they were snogging or not

Honey P: As ever

Neferseba: I think this chappie might answer your question

Wuldnulike2no

Nixtear

StaringStars: And I love writing them bantering

Readerofhp: Thanx. The comp I sometimes use didn't have SpellCheck, so I was a bit buggered

TheColorofAngels

MrsHellFire: Don't worry, this is definantely an HG fic. And I'm trying to make the chaps longer, but I prefere to update little and often

PandasRuletheWorld

AND ALL YOU OTHER LOVELY PEOPLE!