Title: Leather And Lace
Author:
Archived at:
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Pairing: Xander/Spike
Rating: Mature Audiences – for content and themes
Summary: Illyria took her Pet as the demons closed in, but it was not a match made in heaven. Somehow an old friend found him. Given time, they might both just might rescue each other.
Spoilers: Canon is Post S7 BtVS and S5 AtS.
Warnings: M/M – if you don't like boys together, don't play here!
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters nor make any money from stories etc, and bow down to their original creators Joss, et al., plus all the wonderful online writers who continue to give the Buffy/Angel verse characters life.
Dedicated to tempestsreach who inspired the story and deserves all the hugs that one could provide.
PART 7
The next four weeks proved far less stressful than the hotel experience, partly because the man and the vampire began to settle into their new abode and a regular routine, and partly due to Spike's improving health… though he still had his moments.
Particular behaviors seemed to coincide with bizarre dreams, leaving the vampire half way between asleep and awake. Xander now knew to simply push the duster close and feed Spike almost continuously with the glove until full consciousness returned. With the massive amounts of blood taken in such bouts, Spike had filled out and was walking on his own again. They now worked out together of an evening with the borrowed weights, and showered and ate together. What still wasn't quite right, however, was Spike's general mental state.
Xander had seen his friend homicidal pre chipping, pouting and petulant post; he had been obsessed/devoted to Buffy pre soul and crazed in a basement after; he had been brave and a friend to the end in Sunnydale… but this Spike… this vampire was as needy and as clingy as a small child. He waited quietly for instructions and only seemed willing to move from the curled position on their bed, or wherever Xander had left him in the morning, when his protector returned from work at the end of the day.
From time to time, over the ensuing month, Xander would suggest that they try something other than the feeding glove, but his somewhat recovering friend would begin to beg for it to remain. Genuine tears would fall as pleading blue eyes melted Xander's heart along with any resolve.
If he suggested that the duster might be hung in the cupboard rather than held in the vampire's arms during the daytime when Xander was at work, Spike would retreat into a corner, curl around the old coat in a fetal ball, and cling to the duster with a vice like grip. If Xander pursued the issue and tried to tug the leather away, the former 'Big Bad' would hold on for dear unlife and begin to shake as though in severe shock.
And if Xander suggested Spike go out at night – all the way out of the building - the previously fearless Master vampire would panic, pull himself tightly into his protector's side, and began to breathe so heavily that Xander wondered if he needed to worry about his vampire passing out from hyperventilation.
All incidents were peppered with the same plees for clemancy… "No! No! Please… Xan! Please… Sire… I'll be good! I need… I need this! I can't…Oh Xan… I can't… I sob … I just can't! Please Xan… I'll be good, I will! I'll be good for you…" The begging was always followed by an almost catatonic state of sobbing and rocking that would only abate after many minutes of petting and quiet reassurances from his exasperated carer.
When Xander was home, Spike was generally calm and charming, so long as he had the human's constant touch. Apparently the vampire was utterly at peace as long as he was in contact with any part of Xander, even if only a foot under a table or fingertips touching a thigh.
Jason and Mark visited several times, and a reciprocal dinner party saw a night of good take out food, classic movies from the thirties (playing as background atmosphere admittedly), and a very average game of mahjong, after they all drank a little too much.
The discussion was easy, Rachel and Elijah again charmed by Xander's slim partner. Spike was obviously well read and well traveled and had a keen sense of history.
By the end of the night there was no way Rachel and Elijah, Mark and Jason, or Miranda (and a new 'friend' - name still to be remembered) could have missed the constant soft touches, the tender stroking or, in the end, the inert figure of Spike curled up in Xander's lap snoozing happily.
As the others made moves to leave, Xander eased his sleeping friend onto the couch. He carefully covered the small male with a throw rug and bade farewell to their guests in the wee hours of the morning. Mark stopped behind for a moment, nodding knowingly to Jason who continued the short journey back to their apartment, before addressing their mutual friend.
"You know Jas and I think the world of you both right?"
"Well… yeah feeling's mutual… although I think you might just have 'But-face' there…."
Mark looked shocked and utterly confused for a moment "Butt … what?"
Xander gave their friend a break, "But – as in I have just given you a compliment but so need to give you another message… 'But – Face' ie expression… ah geez not explaining, and so the babble guy… stopping now… Figure this is about my pretty partner right?"
Mark looked a little worried, "Xander, please stop me if I am out of turn. It just seems that Will is still very needy even though he's had a pretty good physical recovery. I would venture that there's more going on… He's learned to be helpless and really needs to work through that."
Xander looked worriedly at Mark, but the man's face was a picture of friendship, concern and professional knowledge, along with a willingness to advise. He replied in a near whisper, "Will's the bravest individual I've ever known, and if you'd seen… when I… he was so thin and so near to… And we've come so far but now it's sort of a plateau, I don't know what to do. Geez... Mark, he won't even go outside the building! I'm probably doing him more harm by giving in to his… it's just… oh… I don't know!"
Mark walked forward and placed a strong hand on the brunette's shoulder, "Don't think that – it's obvious you've been there for him but now how about letting me help if I can." Mark waited while Xander's shoulders tensed then relaxed a little.
"What am I doing wrong?"
"What? Nothing… Nothing! No wrong implied! Just that… severe illness often ends up leaving as many mental scars as physical ones. Can leave folks feeling powerless, needy… um… fearful it will all happen again – strategies for dealing with those issues is where I think I can help."
Xander looked back at the small figure sleeping on the couch, duster firmly in his grip. He loved the new Spike, but desperately wanted his friend strong and confident again. "What do I need to do?"
"There's some really big things that need to happen, but I don't know him enough to judge that, so for now maybe just start with some little changes. You know maybe you can gradually replace the behaviors that you feel are getting in the way of his recovery with more desirable, more 'confident', more independent ones. Praise him and reward him whenever he shows improvement – think of it like sports coaching. … And get him to tell you what he's thinking if he can, no matter how bad it is, and work it through logically if he's up to it… Seems like he needs to belong, and he adores you that's for sure Xan… not sure what to suggest without treating him formally… But just ask any time you need help – we're here for you Xander You do know that don't you."
Xander raised grateful chocolate eyes to the face of their lovely new friend. "Yeah… thanks."
Spike stirred a little, rolling over and releasing the duster from his grasp. This was followed by a rapid return to consciousness and swift action by Xander, placing the garment back in the arms of his beloved vampire, as he looked apologetically at Mark. He was embarrassed for Spike whose reaction was semiconscious, the relaxed nuzzling into Xander utterly instinctive, as the item was gently replaced. But Jason's lovely partner, their friend, took it all in his stride.
As soon as Spike was sleeping again Mark quietly suggested a few options then departed.
Xander wished he could have divulged his greatest worry – the feeding teat – but he suspected that such discussions would have led to his own incarceration in a nice padded cell, rather than any advice re Spike.
Mark hugged Xander as he left and whispered, "There's a nice coffee shop two doors up… they open late – take Will after work… and get him to wear the jacket… just a suggestion."
………….
Two evenings later – a Monday – found Xander trying to convince Spike once again, to venture out. He had eaten well, three gloves full of just outdated human AB pos and a little top up of 'Xander special' straight from the wrist – though sadly the former still taken via the teat. Xander pleasured his pretty friend with simple strokes and gentle nips and licks as his lovely charge fed, the two forms of pleasure so obviously interlinked that the act came naturally now and brought as much pleasure to the deliverer as the receiver. Yet still the answer to the question of giving up the glove, was an emphatic "No".
Spike slept a little following his climax and denial of the request, but seemed to rally a little around a half hour later, and Xander took his chance.
He tugged the old duster from Spike's arms and dropped it on the floor before wrapping himself in his lover's tight embrace in its stead. He lay awake thinking as his lovely blonde friend continued to automatically stroke his protector – even in sleep. Xander thought about Mark's words, his own knowledge of vampiric law and Spike's own experiences.
Spike woke, feeling for his duster but registered only the skin and strong body of his protector. He looked about alarmed and confused. But Xander was ready and before the vampire had a chance to panic, he started to lave and suck on Spike's original claim mark, Angel's mark. He'd never dared before, but now it made sense, there were sucker marks from Illyria overlaying those of vampire fangs, indicating a consequent claim that had endured unaddressed. Now another would overtake it.
Spike submitted to the feel over his mark and groaned as Xander bit down hard, obliterating the circular scoring of flesh and drawing blood with human teeth, continuing to take the obviously willingly given gift until his lovely friend spent without being touched and sobbed with relief.
Sire had finally taken him fully. Spike relaxed and allowed a tear to fall. His rescuer, an old friend, the one who felt like Sire, had claimed him at last. He took Xander's proffered wrist and bit down reverently, taking but two drafts then licking the wound closed.
"Thank you Sire." It was said with such adoration and awe that it was Xander's turn to feel teary, but the sparkle in the azure blue eyes gave him hope.
They both snoozed in their embrace for a short while before Xander struggled to consciousness and as Spike's awareness returned, it was obvious that the strategy had at least 'moved the bar' a little.
Spike rolled over and kissed his brunette lover, but unlike before, did not panic at the absence of his duster. He seemed content to simply touch his friend.
Xander praised and kissed his lovely vampire, stroking him to conclusion as a reward for his bravery. His resolve almost faltered as Spike arched silently, spent his seed, and sighed, 'Sire', before snuggling into Xander once more.
Taking a further risk, Xander waited several moments then kissed his vampire back before extracting himself and heating two bags of blood, offering Spike a mug of blood for the first time since he had been around him in Sunnydale. The look of distress was expected, as was the "Please Sire… Please!"
What was different was the response to Xander's voice. It seemed that the taking of Spike's blood and consequent actions had indeed made a difference.
Xander addressed his friend in a commanding tone, "You will take of blood from the cup Childe, only then may you suckle for comfort."
Spike acquiesced immediately and did as instructed.
By the end of the following week, the duster was permanently draped over the chair near the bed, and the feeding glove was only used for morning comfort as Spike tried to fall asleep again after Xander went to work.
A week later, Xander had been asked to attend an evening work function and could not come home in between. Spike made it to Elijah and Rachel's penthouse suite under his own steam for drinks 'by special invitation'.
It was a significant achievement. He managed to decide when to eat, when to leave, dressing, finding keys, leaving a note and, more importantly, leaving the duster behind. But he had promised Xander and would be gifted with Sire's blood or the feeding teat that evening if he was successful.
The evening was delightful. Rachel and Elijah had invited another elderly neighbor Pauline, an aging wealthy ex New Yorker, whose ample form, bleached hair and easy laugh made for fine company.
The evening consisted of cocktails and fine music and discussions of literature and travel. The 'older' neighbors were again pleased at William's genteel nature and extensive knowledge. The evening ended in an impromptu game of poker, played with the rice crackers from the cheese board as 'collateral'. No one minded who won or lost.
Pauline was as taken with William as her two hosts, and upon exit promised her dear friend Rachel to 'look out for that one'.
Spike returned to the haven of their home alone, but immediately felt Xander's presence.
A sleepy voice and warm arms greeted him as he entered the bedroom, "Hey… Good time?"
Spike stripped quickly and joined his lover under the covers, snuggling down onto a broad chest before he answered, "They're nice, but I missed you." He was offered the wrist and the teat and took the wrist for the first time as a preference since his return. Xander grinned as the vampire bit down. Spike laved the wound shut and they both sighed with relief for very different reasons then drifted off to sleep.
………………..
Less than a week later, Spike and Xander ventured out of the building for the first time. Spike wore his duster and would be allowed to drink from the glove, if he needed, upon their return (that was the deal).
Vampire and human walked close together in the chill of the evening. If anyone had cared to notice, they were hand in hand.
They headed for the small bar/restaurant recommended by Jason.
They ordered drinks and tiramisu to share, adding to the rather handsome male waiter, 'Juan' according to his badge, that Jason and Mark said 'Hi'. Juan grinned and he replied in a heavy Spanish accent, "I have been waiting for jyou to come! Jaison and Marko are the best – jyou have good friends!"
Juan was attentive and unobtrusive, delivering their hot chocolate 'on the house' at the end of the evening.
Two nights later they attended the restaurant again with Mark and Jason, staying so late that the night was completed with Juan and the rather portly but no less attractive French chef, Fabian, sitting at their table sharing a bottle of port and platter of leftover hazelnut and chocolate barquettes.
Spike engaged with Fabian easily, the chef and guest arguing good-naturedly (in fluent French) regarding the merits or otherwise of various quirks of French cooking, including truffles, brioche and a number of wines that Xander had never heard of. Xander was initially worried as he simply could not tell what the heated gesticulating was all about, but when Fabian roared laughing and grabbed Spike across the table to kiss him on both cheeks, then continue the rapid conversation, the human relaxed. There were definite flashes of the Spike of old shining through.
Mark leaned over to Xander and whispered, "Shoot Xander! He is beautiful, I never would have thought? One minute he's talking to me about the intricacies of anatomy and the next he's there with Fabian and in French! No wonder Rachel's reading to adopt! My Jas's the one for me… but just look! Gahhh Xan… he's wonderful… and you've done such a great job… incredible."
Xander grinned at the lovely psychiatrist, "Yeah he is special. We're not there yet, but hey, what you said made the difference. Anyone asks, I'll be tellin' them that I took some good advice from a friend, an expert!… So there you go… thanks… for everything." Xander reached over and squeezed Mark's hand.
Jason noticed and Xander smiled at him also. They all watched the recovering blonde as he engaged Fabian in an intense conversation regards the merits of double or triple cream when accompanying fine poached stone fruit.
Mark grinned and knew without a doubt. Their lovely neighbor William had much more to his story than he or Xander had divulged to date – not the least of which was the history of his fluency in French, knowledge of anatomy and obvious flair for literature and the finer points of gastronomy!
They all departed the restaurant around midnight, Fabian and Juan making their own way home, while Mark and Jason, Xander and 'William' took a leisurely stroll back to their apartments arm in arm with their partners.
Spike looked around twice. He kept hearing the whine of electrical equipment, but eventually put it down to his own paranoia at their first trip out. He grabbed Xander's arm a little tighter and despite their relatively exposed position, pulled in for a passionate kiss while waiting for the crossing lights to change.
Jason and Mark smiled, happy to see their lovely friends finally beginning to enjoy each other in public again. Jason took the moment to give the usually reserved Mark a quick fondle and was rewarded by a nip to the ear and a "You'll pay for that", with the reciprocal naughty grin and a "Counting on it." in reply.
Spike could smell their friends' arousals. Xander didn't need to. They all increased their pace and were home within minutes. But not before the Wolfram and Hart surveillance team had all they needed.
Spike fed from the glove, then he and Xander explored each other until mutual climax saw them both fall into sated sleep in the early hours of the morning
……………………..
The following morning should have been perfect – at least in Xander's mind, but there was the old argument again.
"I still bloody need it … please just a little?"
"I thought you were getting better… I mean we went out and we had … fun and…"
"No the same … Not the same! Please Pet… Luv… Oh Gahhh… Sire… Please!"
Xander finally gave in and filled a glove again before leaving for work. He tied it off and handed it to the vampire.
"Just… let's get this straight… I need you strong Spike… I want you strong… but you've got to… help yourself too… Geez I can't do everything!" He gave the vampire a cursory kiss on the forehead and very brief hug before storming out, feeling frustration and shame in equal measures regards the last half hour of conversation.
………………..
Xander was called up within minutes of attending the site.
"I'm a little confused, Mr Johns? Can you define for me what is wrong with my team in your opinion? We are on time, in fact our team is ahead of your defined schedule, which quite frankly, given the variable weather conditions, is a tribute to the group – and your choice of team, Sir."
Xander stood, hard hat in hand in front of the rather cheap desk, matching the office that sported neither fan nor air conditioning.
The rather sweaty, rotund gent with watery eyes stood uncomfortably in the presence of two unnamed men as Xander fielded his questions. Nicotine stained fingers pulled at a loose edge of the veneer of his desk, and an overly rosy nose reflected both his after hours imbibing and current extreme discomfort.
Hamish Johns was a man in his late fifties, and had always enjoyed the patronage of Wolfram and Hart. He had benefited from tax breaks, several 'favorable legal outcomes' and advantageous negotiations, all in exchange for overlooking a number of dubious employees and several anomalies in the buildings' designs – simply building to plan.
But occasionally Johns had the hard yards to do for his 'advantages' with the company so he reviewed the report from the company directors. He liked Xander and could not give a toss regards his employee's personal lifestyle choice – despite his investors' concerns and having been provided with photographs from a 'private source'. If they were prejudiced than it was not his concern – and if push came to shove, he would be sure to tell the unions how Alexander Harris had proven himself time and time again as a professional.
As far as Regional Manager Johns was concerned, Alexander Harris was one of his best project managers – with a history of large construction contracts and an impeccable record. Yet now he was being asked by the investors to move his best manager 'sideways'.
What fascinated him was the trouble they had gone to find 'dirt' on his mild mannered and utterly competent employee. But Hamish valued his own job, so called Xander in to 'discuss options'.
"There's nothing wrong with your work, Xander… It's just a… restructure of the company, that sort of thing."
"So I'm losing my job?" Xander suddenly felt like the Xander of Sunnydale, pre construction industry. Yet another job lost – and how would they pay for the apartment if he wasn't working?
"No… no… Alexander, you must know that I value your work immensely, but I suggest you have a chat to these gents. They are quite persuasive so I'll understand if you want to move on instead of opting for another position here. You've done great work… terrific! And I'm also conscious that you've got some family responsibilities." Hamish had been shown the anonymous photos by the W&H team but believed in a person having their own 'quirks' so long as it did not impose on their work.
Lilah had been furious that the site boss had been rather blasé regarding his newest employee's sexual orientation, but unwilling to show their hand, swiftly decided on a different tack. They approached the directors of the construction company and proposed a consulting position for one of their 'newest and brightest' employees.
Xander was sitting, rather stunned in his boss's office only half listening… A promotion? After only a few months? "…So that's it. I'll understand if you do decide to go… Anyway, you've been called to head office. Congrats son, if you take the promotion you'll be missed but I'll be the first to say it's well deserved. They have a car waiting for you now."
Xander collected his briefcase and jacket before joining the 'investors' in the waiting limousine. Instinctively he knew there was something amiss as he entered the car, but the conversation with the pretty PA was cheerful enough. He was a bit puzzled by her choice of traditional sari and flowing soft pants and … rather unusual footware, but as the pretty woman smiled at him he relaxed and dismissed any queries.
They drove to an enormous glass clad black building downtown. His pleasant hostess seemed to be a little uncertain on her feet as she alighted and he helped her to stand, only to realize that the woman had some sort of physical disability and was struggling to navigate the polished surface of the entrance. He assisted her graciously but wondered at the severity of deformity that might have caused the need for such odd custom made shoes and all covering, flowing long black pants. It was obvious that Wolfram and Hart were an 'inclusive' employer but surmised it was the quick smile and intelligent wit of the woman as the reason for her work at the firm.
The young PA ushered him to the enormous board room on the twelfth floor.
Xander was aware that he did not have his resume or any other material one would normally take to a job interview/review with him. But it was seeing Lilah at the top of the boardroom and photos of and obscured Spike and he kissing… and their fuzzy forms making love in a Powerpoint loop that he realized his error in even entering the car.
"Welcome Alexander Harris. I always thought we would meet again. Now it seems you have a new little 'friend' and I guess we were curious… Oh we're not particularly worried about your orientation – though that is fun (seems your employer really isn't interested which is a shame!) No, what is more interesting is the idea that he is a vampire… oh yes Mr Harris we do know that. His 'signature' is also that of an old vampire – a master – what a delicious coincidence, given that we would love to have a Master around to 'review'." There was no mistaking the malice in her voice.
"And of course we would love you to join our 'inner circle', the directors of the entire building group with a wage plus bonuses. All you need to do is hand over your little friend. A Master vampire needs to be controlled after all!"
But Xander was a child of the Hellmouth, "Well not wanting to be ungracious, but gotta say guys? Not interested… Happy here and if that means I lose this job too well… hey… got the Tshirt for that."
"I think you should consider carefully Mr Harris, it does seem your partner is at risk at the current time – indeed you may both be of interest."
Xander was on his feet and ready to leave when Lilah spoke up. "It's a pity… Ahhh to be twice denied… Seems you are of no use to us Mr Harris. Although, we do have one client who might have use for you, and is rather starved of attention at the moment. I have assigned you to her and look forward to you working in that capacity.
"Oh… and you will be pleased that your little 'love interest' will be looked after following your 'change of workplace' – part of Wolfram and Hart's commitment to their clients. We will find him and I imagine he will be of interest given his 'non-human' status". Xander panicked and began to stumble backwards and headed for the door before feeling the prick of a needle and registered with alarm Lilah's last few words as he fell into blackness.
……………………………
As he came to consciousness again he registered his own nudity, and that he seemed a little… stuck! He tried to pull away. The more he tugged and twisted, the more he became entangled. Panic ensued.
It felt like he was in a bizarre dream as the hairy appendages captured him, the barb punctured his thigh and his body only just coming into his control, immediately fell still, refusing to cooperate. He was paralyzed… He lay entwined and immobilized, staring up in horror as a myriad of eyes, eight hairy legs and a huge hairy abdomen loomed over him.
He wished he and Spike had not quarreled as he lay helpless while his body was touched by the furred prickles of giant spider legs. He somehow knew that if knew he was to be dinner and wished Spike would forgive him for being so stupid, for being late, for abandoning him, for failing to come home with his O pos as promised, for not making love to him, for not... just for everything he had ever failed at.
He wished Spike might know, wished the vampire would run, wished someone might have noticed… wished someone would come… but his 'reality chip' kicked in and he knew, there would be no rescue… a second piercing of the barb led to the inevitable… he passed out.
Xander had no idea how long he had been unconscious. He was still oddly numb all over and utterly unable to move any of his limbs. He was aware enough to know that he had been folded into a fetal position and that he was being lifted swiftly by four of the spider's eight legs. The giant arachnid then began to drag a thick sheet of silk and spin him in her arms as he was bound tightly like an infant in traditional swaddling. With no control of his own gaze, he saw the floor, the black hairy abdomen, the ceiling, the wall, then the floor repeatedly. Bound tight, he felt another sting as he was injected yet again, this time it was somewhere in his lower back. He would have cried with pain if he could but then felt an incredible lassitude overtaking his body as functions slowed to a near halt.
Bound as he was, he was still conscious, though now obviously without any control of voluntary muscles. Even his eyes were out of action, apparently fixed forward, though thankfully he was still able to blink, and his heart, lungs and other internal organs continued, though he knew at an impossibly slow rate. His digestion seemed to have slowed to a halt and bodily functions along with it (Though a day or two later Xander reflected that it might also be due to the final terrifying moments before his complete paralysis when his body had rid itself of the last of its waste).
He had no idea of time nor of how long he slept and did not sleep, but was merely aware that he was warm and 'contained'. He was unbelievably thirsty and had no control over his tongue but did manage to groan as the Spider returned for the second time and dinner – two bodies up from his own hanging grave.
He could just see through the fine silk, though sounds were muffled. Xander's concern was that he could see that he was suspended by in the 'larder' section of the web, along with three other wrapped forms. What worried him more was the hand sized spiders – obviously the infants beginning to emerge from the now empty shell of a fourth hanging figure. Obviously they had been gestating in the figure and were now making their own way in the world.
Being sucked dry in an afternoon suddenly seemed a preferable option to being eaten alive from the inside out by several hundred hungry young spiders. But in his current inert and tightly bound state, it was hardly his choice. His heart and breathing rates were out of his control too, but his tears were still his own. Xander let them fall and they kept falling until the silk holding his form was soaked through with the salty outpouring.
He slept again and woke with an utterly dry throat, cracked lips and a thumping headache. He contemplated that he would die of dehydration through lack of a drink far earlier than evisceration by his eight legged captor. One more day with no water and he would be unconscious with thirst and no longer need to worry about his situation.
He knew Jason would look after Spike… or would he? Xander sent a prayer to whatever higher power was listening, and asked that they look after his lovely friend, and that his friend understand that he had loved the vampire to the end, that he had not, would not abandon him.