Chapter One: Mad Dogs and Englishmen
The Doctor and Jamie entered the TARDIS, still chuckling from the parting words they shared moments earlier with the Doctor's future self and Peri.
"Oh, my word" said the Doctor with a smile on his face as he moved to the center console. "That Shockeye was quite a character wasn't he?" asked the Doctor to Jamie, who was rubbing his hands together as he observed the Doctor at work on the TARDIS.
"Aye, I just wish I could have been there to see him get his just desserts" commented Jamie. A frown came over the Doctor's face as he pondered the death of his old friend.
"Tis a shame about old Dastari, though. He should have realized that you can't change nature. The Androgum won't find their freedom with medical operations and genetic mutation…"
"I think all the Androgum want to find is the bottom of a plate" noted Jamie.
The Doctor chuckled as he adjusted his suspender strap and took a deep breath.
"Well, that's all behind us now, I suppose, Jamie. I wonder what errand they'll have me running now" said the Doctor, tapping the remote control device the Time Lords put in his ship to control his flight.
"This is really very irritating, you know! I am not an errand boy for them (looking upward). Its one thing to have me work for them, but it is an entirely different matter to hijack my TARDIS!" The Doctor started on one of his fits of rage as he began huffing and puffing, but regained his composure and took a seat in a Victorian chair that sat beside the console.
"Do you suppose there's any way you could, uh, 'go around' the control thing?" asked the ever optimistic Scotsman.
"No, there's no point, they can track me anywhere" said the depressed Doctor, who sank in his chair. Within two minutes, the center column began moving and the TARDIS was in motion. "Well they certainly don't waste any time, do they?" The Doctor and Jamie braced themselves for another bumpy landing, and after the initial turbulence, the Doctor checked the scanner. The screen revealed a beautiful tropical sunrise. After a few moments of examination, the Doctor felt confident enough to announce their destination.
"Ah! Hawaii!" said the elated Doctor, who smiled as he rubbed his hands together.
"Eh, come again, Doctor?" asked a bewildered Jamie.
"Oh, you've never been have you?" started the Doctor, "Well to most people it is known as paradise. Comparable to the beaches of Deraubus, remember?"
"Oh, aye" responded the Scot.
"Don't forget the beach ball, Jamie" began the Doctor. "Let's see what the problem is?" The Doctor stated as he checked the ticker tape type message from the Time Lords. He scanned the document for a minute and looked up. "Oh, my word, this is serious isn't it." The Doctor said as he paced around with his hand on his chin.
"What is it, Doctor?" asked Jamie with beach ball in hand.
"Nothing…" the Doctor said concerned, then shrugged it off and returned to his excited demeanor, "Now lets see what Hawaii has to offer, shall we?"
BEEP BEEP BEEP. The clock hit 11:30 AM and the annoying alarm sound rang throughout Thomas Magnum's room which was scattered with old newspapers and dirty laundry. Magnum was lying face down on the bed which hadn't been made in about a week. He stretched his arm out and groped around the clock before finding the snooze button. Magnum returned to his slumber until he heard the unmistakable sound of Higgins bursting irately through his doors. The two Dobermans Zeus and Apollo proceeded to the bedside and began accosting Magnum in an effort to wake him.
"Magnum, do you have any idea what time it is?" asked, or I should say, screamed Higgins to Magnum.
"Go away, Higgins" said Magnum, whose voice was muffled by his pillow.
"Magnum, I wouldn't mind your blatant disregard for courtesy if it were only me you were affronting, but when you stand up the entire Ming Hong society, I must object!" stated Higgins. Magnum immediately sat up in bed with a concerned look on his face.
"That was today?" asked Magnum as he began getting dressed.
"Yes, that was today. The men of the Ming Hong society took time out of their busy schedules to afford you a meeting today. If you hurry you might make it in time before they all leave." Higgins said detachedly and began leaving the room before turning to Magnum. "In the future you really should be more aware of time, Magnum." Magnum just smiled wryly and continued to button his Hawaiian shirt.
Magnum turned the keys on Robin Master's Ferrari, revved the engine a couple times, then sped down Highway 17 to Honolulu.
There's no better place for a man to catch up on some thinking than highway 17, surrounded by the Hawaiian seascape. Besides, the music on the radio was clashing.
Time. Time is a strange thing. Everybody has a set amount of it. You can't buy it or sell it. Most people spend theirs complaining that they don't have enough. I have always believed that time is an ongoing thing that you simply must accept and go with the flow of it. The sun always rises in equal splendor over the east shore every morning and sets again every night. Some people fear time, but I think of it more as a friend, who, despite how many times you curse him and get mad at him, is always there, dependable. The problem of course is convincing others that your perception of time and how you deal with it is the right one. So I constantly find myself at odds with other people's ways of scheduling and dividing time.
The Doctor and Jamie stepped out of the TARDIS on the beach and the Doctor quickly scanned the landscape. "Pollution scanners indicate that we are in the year 1985" said the Doctor, still examining the area. "I think we should get our bearings first, and then find a local chap who can help us out with some information. And remember, Jamie, just sit back and admire-""-Your diplomatic skills" Jamie finished the Doctor's thought. The beach was crawling with tourists this time of year. As the Doctor and Jamie were wandering about, they were met by an irate, 5 foot 5 suave looking Italian man.
"Hey, bub, you gotta come through the main entrance if you want beach access. Do you even have a membership card?"
"Well, um, you see…" began the Doctor, trying to piece together a scheme. "My hovercar has broken down, you see, and, I am in need of a laser wrench, if you happen to have any lying around" the Doctor said, half winking to Jamie. The man just looked even more confused before getting angrier.
"What are you talkin, about, pal? I think I need to show you two bums the door" he said, motioning to two bouncers as he turned his back and returned to his station behind the outdoor bar.
"What were you thinking, Doctor?" asked Jamie in a raised tone of voice"
"I'm sorry, Jamie, my history is not that keen on this period of history. You would think they would have invented a hovercar by now!" the Doctor yelled.
As the two men were dragging the Doctor and Jamie away, the Doctor thought of something.
"This is outrageous! I will have to inform the British ambassador of this! I am here on an important diplomatic mission! I play one joke on the manager and I'm jostled by a band of ruffians!"
The Doctor desperately spouted. The man stopped in his walk back and motioned for the release of the Doctor and Jamie.
"You got one shot, pal, now I need to see some I.D." he said threateningly.
"Yes, indeed you do, don't you" the Doctor rambled as he rifled through his pockets. A satisfied smile came across his face as he pulled out a small laminated card. "There you are" the Doctor said proudly.
After a moment of inspection, the man returned the card and looked embarrassed. "Sorry, sir, I just, well, you know, I need to keep a tight ship, right?" the man said. "My name's Rick Wright, I'm the manager of the club" Rick said, reaching out his hand to the Doctor and Jamie. Jamie shook his hand first.
"Jamie McCrimmon. Nice to meet you" said Jamie.
The Doctor grabbed Rick's hand with both of his hands and shook it vigorously. "I'm the Doctor".
"A doctor of what?" asked Rick as he pulled away his hand.
"Well, its sort of a codename intelligence gave me, so I must go by that for the time being" the Doctor said in a low voice leaning toward Rick.
"Oh, right" Rick said, remembering that the ID handed to him was from U.N.I.T. "I tell you what, you wait here for a second while I check with my boss on this ID, just formalities you know" Rick said with a smile before quickly heading for the telephone. He dialed Robin Masters' Estate number to talk with Higgins.
"Robin Masters' estate" said Higgins formally.
"Yeah, Higgins, it's me, Rick" whispered Rick, keeping an eye on the Doctor and Jamie who were chatting with club members.
"Are you in some need of assistance, or is this just another attempt to disrupt my busy schedule?" asked Higgins.
"Well, you see, Higgins, there's this British guy and a Scottish guy here at the club, and it's like they just popped outta nowhere. I checked this guy's ID and he says he's from British Intelligence" stated Rick.
"What branch of Intelligence does his Identification papers indicate?" asked Higgins.
"Well, that's just it. I've never heard of it before. It says UNIT, like an acronym or something. What do you make of it?"
"Oh, my god" Higgins said under his breath.
"What was that? I can't hear ya" responded Rick.
Higgins voice took on a serious tone.
"Make sure they do not leave. I will be down momentarily" he said, immediately hanging up the phone.
Rick just shrugged his shoulders and looked confused at the phone receiver before hanging up. He leisurely walked over to the Doctor and Jamie.
"Well, looks like you guys are good to go, sorry about the wait"
"It's quite alright. I can appreciate your dedication" the Doctor said as he began to walk away.
Rick started to panic and walked around the bar blocking the exit before trying to convince them to stay.
"Well, why don't you fellas sit down for a drink" Rick plead, but the Doctor kindly declined and continued on his way.
"Uh, on the house!" Rick said, raising his voice. Jamie quickly hopped up to a stool and motioned for the Doctor to tag along.
"Ah, C'mon, Doctor. We're here, we might as well enjoy it"
"That's right. Might as well enjoy it" Rick concurred.
"Well, you can't deny hospitality, I suppose" said the Doctor as he took a seat.
In a couple of minutes, Higgins arrived, carrying a severe look on his face. He walked out to the beach bar and approached Rick.
"Which one is from intelligence?" Higgins asked, foregoing niceties.
"The one in the suspenders" Rick said, wiping a glass, not changing his facial expression. Higgins walked up to the Doctor;
"Excuse me" he said in a dignified tone. The Doctor turned around, still sporting a wide smile. Higgins was shocked and took a moment to gather his wits before addressing the Doctor. "What are you doing here?" Higgins asked, still in shock.
The Doctor was perplexed at first, but after some examination burst into laughing. "Higgins? Jonathan Higgins?" The Doctor exclaimed reaching his hands out to greet him. "How have you been? Its been so many years" continued the Doctor, not releasing his handshake.
Higgins was still somewhat shaken, but continued the conversation. "You still haven't answered my question, I'm afraid"
"Oh, yes!" the Doctor stopped himself. "I was sent here by my superiors to continue an investigation"
"You still work with U.N.I.T.?" asked Higgins, unaware of the Doctor's true reasons for being there.
"Well, technically no, but you know how intelligence views retirement" the Doctor joked. Higgins answered with a smile and a chuckle:
"Yes, they tend to think of it as more of an extended vacation than a status of life"
"Ah, Mr. McCrimmon, nice to see you again" he said still with a smile on his face.
"Aye, Mr. Higgins" Jamie said quickly in between drinks.
"Well, I think that a reception is in order" commented Higgins.
"You must join me at the estate for a small luncheon"- "Estate, eh? Doing well I see, Mr. Higgins" interrupted Jamie.
"Well, you see, I am the curator of the estate of Mr. Robin Masters. I'm sure you are familiar with some of his work, Doctor?"
"Yes, of course" said the Doctor. "I'm sure that Jamie and I can join you. What time will you be expecting us?"
"Things will be ready for your arrival in about an hour or so. I'm sure that Mr. Wright will provide you with directions to the estate."
"We look forward to it" The Doctor finished as Higgins returned to his vehicle.
The Doctor then turned then to Jamie and pulled out his sonic screwdriver.
"In the mean time, I think some investigation is in order."