..
..
When I woke up Jennie was gone. And I still felt like shit. Losing a week of sleep will do that, I guess.
I got up, eyes still half closed and looked for my phone. It was after eleven.
I contemplated going back to sleep but I had to take a piss, and the amount of energy it would take to do that with morning wood would keep me awake. Once I got that done, I headed downstairs to find Jennie.
When I found her in the kitchen, I couldn't help but lean on the kitchen wall and just…watch her. I'm a creep, I know. But she looked too stunning to just ignore her. She was standing in front of the stove, there was a window right above it so the sun was shining on her black hair, making it look like liquid asphalt—but, the pretty kind. Never mind.
She was still in those damn shorts too. And that tank top. And…my morning wood was back, except it wasn't a sub conscious thing—I was just hard. I cleared my throat and announced myself before I had to leave.
"Morning."
"Oh, you're up! I'm making your favorite; potato hash."
I groaned and clutched my chest like I heard the best news. It was my absolute favorite. "Thanks." I grinned. I started a pot of coffee. I would need at least five cups to keep from passing out.
"Where is everyone?" I asked her.
"Dad went to work…are you drinking coffee or sugar?" She gestured to the sugar I was pouring into my cup.
"Both."
She shook her head and searched through the fridge, bending over to give me a view of her under-butt. I groaned internally. I had to get my head out of the gutter. "And my sister and Haein are at their hotel." She added.
I finished my first cup and felt ten percent better. I made another one. Jennie finished quickly and we ate together. "Any plans for today, Miss college grad?" I asked her. She shrugged and licked her lips. Her soft, full lips.
"I don't think so. I have to blog and then I guess I'll just wait for my email from The Citadel."
I furrowed my brow.
"The publishing company with the internship." She explained.
"That's lame. I'm taking you out to celebrate."
She shook her head. "I told you, I have to blog."
I rolled my eyes. "Jennie, your blog will take like two hours. I'm taking you out—end of discussion."
She huffed.
Jennie shagged our plates and did the dishes. I had a third cup of coffee. "And where are we going to go? There's only so much you can do in Florence."
I thought for a minute. Jennie wasn't the party type at all so I racked my brain for the best options. "J. Michael's."
She cocked a brow in disapproval. Should have seen that coming.
"You mean the place where you used to pick up girls."
I grinned sheepishly but she wasn't amused.
Jennie wasn't the jealous type at all, so don't think that. She never approved or disapproved of my man-whorish ways either. She was just…an extreme realist. Always thought I'd get some life-ending STD or worse, HIV. She even blogged about it. 'When your best friend is a man-whore.' Got hundreds of hits.
"Sure. You still want to go?"
She tossed the dish rag to the side and nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to write." She smiled a bit and then ran up the steps.
..
Soon as she was gone I groaned deep and rubbed my face in my hands. I was so tired. I thought going for a run would help. "Jennie? I'm coming in so I hope you're decent." I knocked on her door.
"Come in."
When I entered she was hunched over her laptop at her desk. She had tied her hair up with a chopstick, her hands flew across the key board at record speed.
"How's it going?"
"Fine. I have notes already so I'm going off of them."
"What are you blogging about this week?" I asked as I got dressed.
"Um…don't laugh." I laughed when she said that.
"Why?"
She stopped typing and spun in her chair to face me. I hadn't put my shirt on yet, but she didn't even look. Just another thing that discouraged me. "The topic is new beginnings. You know, graduating, finding a job. Being a 'real adult.'" She quoted me.
"Why did you think I would laugh?" I threw on a t-shirt and started lacing up my sneakers.
"I don't know. I thought it was corny." I sat on her bed, a few feet from her.
I memorized her face years ago, as we both grew up and she…filled out in places. But even now, sometimes I just stare. My eyes glance across the few freckles on her nose and the few under her eyes. I only saw them when she wasn't wearing makeup. It was cliché but without makeup, she was just as beautiful, if not more so.
"Lisa?"
I realized I had been staring. "Oh. Sorry. No, it isn't corny. I'm going for a run but I'll read it after."
She nodded and got back to writing.
I always read her posts before they went live. Even at school, she would email it to me. It didn't matter what I was doing, when I got that email I dropped what I was doing and read it. Always giving my honest input but I honestly always loved them. I'm not the English major but it made me the best impartial reader.
"Hey, when are you going to see your dad?" Her words stopped me in the doorway.
"Honestly, I don't want to see him. But…I guess Christmas day. Maybe." I left before she could talk me out of it.
I plugged my ears with the latest Yelawolf album and ran until my lungs burned. Then kept going. It calmed me, a good run. Coach had us lifting and sprinting more than anything else so I liked keeping it simple sometimes. I ran past my parents' house and kept going, same thing on the way back. No one noticed.
Once I got back to Jennie's I downed a bunch of water. My heart felt like it would explode but that was probably just the coffee. I went upstairs to finish. Sure, I could have done my push-ups downstairs but what fun would that be?
"You were gone for almost an hour." She hadn't looked up from her computer.
"Yeah…ten miles will do that."
She had a lot of free space in her room, she would usually do yoga here but I had to physically leave when she started that. I dropped down and started knocking out some push-ups.
"Lisa…you're grunting." She muttered. I chuckled but ignored her. I was almost finished.
"Sorry." I huffed on my last push.
I moved and sat on the floor, my legs stretched out in front of me. She swung in her chair and held up her laptop.
"Okay, I'm…" I had to smile inside. Her eyes glinted across my sports bra. Oh yeah, I took my shirt off for good measure. I deftly noticed her eyes linger below my waist but I didn't think too much of it.
"Finished." She finally said. She cleared her throat and handed me her laptop. Her chest rose as she took a deep breath. That damn tank top. I adjusted my position on the floor so I wouldn't strain against my sweats.
"Cool."
"Hey, you want water? I'm going to get you some water." She rushed out of the room before I could stop her.
So that's the trick, huh? I have to get hot and sweaty to get a rise out of her. I know what you're thinking, this asshole is seducing her best friend against her will. Yet I couldn't help it. I stopped thinking of myself and read her blog. And man, it was good.
Ah, I breathe a sigh of relief. It feels like just yesterday, I began my first semester of college; now, I am done. What? Really? Yes, I have to remind myself. That last hurdle, final exams, are over. Unfortunately, it only gets harder from here…
I thought getting a degree would make everything easier. I thought I would have job offers rolling out in front of me, complete with a red carpet, but that didn't happen. It wasn't because I wasn't smart enough—my 4.0 GPA can attest to that, it was simply because I wasn't the only one who wanted that editor's assistant job, or the open copy writer position.
I think what we forget, in college, is that we will always be competing in this life. We are in a bubble in college; all we worry about is that next midterm, and that final, and that damned ten-page essay. Now, ha! Now, we worry about next month's rent, the car note, the student loans…the damn student loans. And everyone asking you, 'what's next?' See, I was ready to graduate on paper. But in my head, I was still a lost freshman.
I walked across the stage just yesterday and it feels like I've forgotten it already. Like it didn't really happen. When my sister and I were packing up my dorm room, she reminded me of when I first got there. When I was excited and scared…funny because I felt the same way when I graduated. The beginning is the same as the end—that's what graduating is really like.
So, for those asking, I'll tell you what's next. Happiness, no matter what—because life is short. Hope, because if you can get through college, you can't give up now.
This is Cheesecake, signing out.
-"College is fun as long as you don't die." -Tsugumi Ohba
I might have cried. No, it was sweat. "This is awesome—it's always awesome."
She grinned like I didn't tell her that almost every time.
It wasn't like she sought validation, but every compliment was important to her. She took them all to heart—the good and bad ones. And some of the assholes that commented on her blog had some pretty shitty things to say.
"Thank you." She grabbed her laptop from me. Clicked a few things and then sighed as she let her hair down. Damn, that was a pretty sight.
"I can't believe you still sign out as Cheesecake." I grinned.
She shrugged and looked off as if remembering the memory. She started the blog just before we left for college. I sat right in this room as she wrote her very first post. So, she is amid writing when she decides a shower will help. So, I wait patiently on the bed and she comes out—clothed, mind you, and gets back to writing.
I lean in close to her and I catch a whiff of something sweet. I tell her she smells different, not a bad different, though. She shrugs and keeps writing. I think about it for a minute then I start laughing. She looks all confused, like 'what?' I say 'Jennie, you smell like cheesecake.' She starts laughing and says it's just her new shampoo. I've been calling her cheesecake ever since. For good measure, she put 'this is cheesecake signing out' and has been doing it since then.
"It stuck." She giggled.
I sat there just watching her on her laptop. I didn't know what she was doing, but I liked looking at her. Her fleshy legs curled up under her. Jennie was never thin like most girls, and most that I've had sex with. She was petite, I mean really, small. Five feet and one inch at most, I can see the top of her head easily, remember? And I swear half her weight is in her hips and her boobs—not even being a dick. I mean, you could grab onto those hips and move them anywhere you want them. The perfect little pear shape.
"It wasn't too short, right? I mean, they're usually longer." She asked.
"No, it was fine." I stretched out and groaned. My muscles were tight but I felt good, better. "I'm about to shower." I stood up.
"Toss your clothes in my bin, I was about to do some laundry."
I grinned.
"You want to wash my dirty underwear?" I teased her. She rolled her eyes and groaned.
I stepped in to the bathroom, stripped out of my clothes and wrapped myself up in a towel so I wouldn't flash her again. She wasn't in the room when I put them in her hamper. My dumb ass looked too closely and glanced at a pair of red, lace panties in her hamper. Since when does she wear red lace? I shook the thought from my head and got in the shower.
I need to buy my own shampoo if I'm going to be here for a while, her coconut scent is going to stick. At least it isn't cheesecake. I laughed to myself. I tried, I promise I really tried but I couldn't get the image of Jennie out of my head.
All of them.
Her in the pink dress yesterday, then the short shorts and tight tank top this morning. And…my hard on was back. I tried thinking of my coach, tried thinking of the entire D-line but it didn't work. She just pushed her way back into my head. I relaxed under the hot water and gripped my throbbing cock, stroking myself, thinking—wishing it was Jennie. I imagined her soft hand on me, innocent and not knowing what to do, her big blue eyes staring up at me. I pictured myself kissing those perfect lips of hers, sucking on that pouting bottom lip as I guided her over me. Everything started to tighten, and I knew I was close. Groaning, I changed up the image, with her mouth on me instead. Warm and cautious. I would put my hands in her soft tresses and push her farther, letting the warmth of her mouth surround me. I kept going, until I was panting, gasping for air until my release took me fast.
"Shit." It felt like freshman year in high school all over again. I shook my head, rinsed off again and got out.
I wrapped my towel around my waist and looked through her cabinets for some hair tonic or vitamins, or anything that could keep my hair reasonable. The medicine cabinet had nothing, but as I was looking around I knocked something out of the shelf. I was going to mind my own business and put it back, but I had seen the same array of pills before, Yaz was probably the front runner for birth control these days. A plethora of questions ran through my head but I stopped them before it drove me crazy.
I went back in her room, she wasn't there so I went ahead and got dressed. The only thing that would get me to go home would be to get more clothes. The jeans and brown sweater I put on were all I packed. Honestly, I'd rather just buy more clothes than go anywhere near that house again.
"I figured you were hungry so I made BLT's." Jennie announced herself, still donning her tank and shorts.
"I'm starved. Thanks." I thought about asking her about the pills. But was that invading her privacy?
I went downstairs in search for this BLT. Sure enough, she made it just how I liked it. More bacon than anything else. I grabbed a water bottle and ate like a caveman. I heard her in the laundry room so I met her in there.
"That was good. Thanks."
She smiled sweetly and kept sorting clothes by color.
"You sort your clothes?" She scowled at me. She shrugged and kept sorting.
"Yeah, Lisa. I don't want my shirts turning red or something."
"Like your panties?" I had to, I'm sorry.
She looked up at me, her blue eyes wide. Her cheeks flushed and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean, they're a little fancy."
"They were on sale." She murmured.
"Hey, I have a question." After a while, I bit the bullet. I sat on the table behind her. Bad choice, she was bent over.
"Uh huh." She sprayed a stain on one of her shirts with Shout.
"Um I was looking for hair vitamin in your bathroom. I sort of found your birth control pills." She froze. Shit. Abort mission.
It wasn't like we didn't talk about stuff like this. We literally have in depth phone calls about how bad the sex I had with some girl was. Plus, I'm pretty sure I was the first one she told about getting her period.
"What?" Okay, she definitely heard me.
"Jennie, just tell me to fuck off if I'm over stepping." I sat back and folded my arms above my chest.
She spun around to look at me, but she was fighting a smile. Okay, good sign.
"I just…it just threw me off. Seeing the pills, because I know you're…you would have told me if you finally lost your virginity. I assume." She giggled. I breathed a sigh of relief. I expected some yelling.
Yeah, Jennie is still a virgin at 22. I wasn't judging or anything, believe me. I always thought it was cute or endearing. She didn't have much to say when I lost it at sixteen and I didn't want to make it a thing. But I knew she would tell me if she did. I just knew.
"Yeah…I would have." I nodded. She wiggled her brow and smiled.
"What?" I laughed. She shook her head and kept laughing. Long, stifled giggles until she let out a little snort that made me laugh harder.
"Lisa, you're a smart girl, I can't believe you saw birth control pills and the first thing you think is I'm…losing it and going at it all of a sudden?" She jutted her chin and narrowed her eyes.
"Well…yeah." She rolled her eyes with a scoff. She laughed again before she said anything else.
"God, Lisa. I take birth control to control my periods," she spoke slowly, "you know, controlling the heavy flow." I felt my face get hot. I swallowed and nodded once.
"Oh." I wasn't squeamish or anything. I shouldn't be if I want to be a doctor. But I really wasn't expecting that. My mind must really be out of it. I blame her shorts.
"Yeah."
"When is your dad getting back?" I asked her after a while.
"Not until tomorrow. He had to change his days to be there for my graduation so he's working a double."
"Oh."
Her dad always worked the worst hours. Growing up, she was alone a lot so I spent more time with her. It got worse after her sister left for school. We were only ten at the time but I knew she shouldn't be alone. Firemen had the worst hours, right up there with surgeons I guess.
"Can we go to the mall? I need to get some clothes." I asked her. I didn't bring my car with me, thinking I would drive one of the cars at my house but, like I said, I'm not going there.
"Yeah, sure. I'm gonna shower real fast and then we can go." She finished up and skipped out of the laundry room.
I watched after her, her long black hair swaying behind her. Maybe I should tell her before Christmas, or New Years. Or any time soon because it's eating me alive.
..
..
"Are we going straight to the bar after?" I sat on Jennie's bed, scrolling through Instagram on my phone.
Everyone was getting engaged.
"Yeah!" I shouted back, she was still in the bathroom.
"Okay…eyes!" I sighed and closed my eyes, throwing my forearm over my head.
It was something we did, when she's getting dressed she just says 'eyes' and I close up.
I heard her moving around the room but I didn't peak. Yeah, I am a gentlewoman you know. It took a few minutes before she gave me the go ahead.
"You look nice." Though she looked better than nice.
Her tan legging hugged her curves just right. Her cream-colored sweater hung off her shoulder a bit. Her neck exposed, her black waves falling around her face.
"Thanks."
She sat down at her vanity and started brushing her hair. I remembered the day she got it, her sixteenth birthday. Remember, she isn't much of a girly-girl, brushing her hair is a luxury to her sometimes. Maybe that's how all writers are—their characters are dressed up and perfect and they just go about necessary hygienic procedures.
Besides watching her brush her hair, I couldn't help but notice she was tense. Shoulders hunched up, fingers fidgeting. I knew her very well.
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
"Hmm? No, I'm fine." She glanced at me in the mirror. I didn't really believe her.
"If it's about me asking about the pills, I'm sorry for overstepping."
"What?" She laughed once, "you didn't. I'm fine, honest." She waved me off and kept doing her hair.
It didn't change much. She pinned one side of it back, the side where her neck showed. I still felt like I pushed one of her few buttons I didn't know about. It never came up, but I knew it was something that…bothered her somehow. More than once I've comforted her when she gets upset, thinking she isn't good enough—pretty enough to get a guy interested. I promised her that wasn't it, any way I could without completely revealing how I felt about her. Every time it happened I hope what I said worked.
It doesn't stop her from getting upset over it. Her dating history is…without just saying I hate every guy who was in her life, less than good. Guys pretty much notice she's hot and go for the kill, except Jennie isn't easy so they pretend to be interested.
Then they get bored, ask for the sex they stuck around for, but she doesn't give it, and so they leave her heartbroken. She says she is waiting for love, but she is just waiting for someone…more worth it. Jennie is all about emotions, she literally crafts them every day, and reads about them when she isn't. She doesn't just want a one-night thing, or some fling. And I respect that.
I wish I was like that. But I opened the floodgates and got addicted too long ago. Don't even think about it, I'm not a sex addict.
"You ready?" She stood up, spritzed on some perfume and grabbed her coat.
"Pft, I've been waiting on you." I teased her.
She ignored me and kept going. See? Bothered.
..
"You still drive this thing?" I opened her door for her even though she was driving. This old Civic had been in their family for years. Their dad passed it on to Jisoo, and then Jennie got it. It's old.
"You gonna buy me a new car?" She pursed her lips.
"Sure." She scowled and shook her head. She hates when I buy her stuff. I mean, absolutely hates it.
Forget about me being filthy rich and buying a new car wouldn't put a dent in any of my checking accounts—she doesn't like it. Feels like she's using me. I don't see it that way and she doesn't fish, but it is just the way she is. She grew up way different from me, a lot humbler. So, I understand her not being used to the finer things. I vacationed in Maui, they took the family van out camping. She loved it—I would have preferred it.
When the car warmed up she set off for the mall. "Any reason why we're going to the mall?" She asked. I fiddled with the radio.
"I need clothes."
She shot me a funny look before turning back to the road. "Lisa, you should go home. See your dad maybe."
I shrugged. She had hope that things would get better. But my father doesn't budge at all. "He doesn't want to see me and I would rather avoid them."
She sighed in frustration. "You know; I get that things are tough with your dad. But you can't just…" she nearly ran a red light. The car jerked to a stop. I turned to look at her, her otherwise soft features were scrunched up in frustration. "I wonder, every day when my dad walks out the door if I'm going to see him again. If some fire is going to swallow him up. Family isn't something you can take for granted."
Awkward silence…I felt like shit, of course. I could be real selfish sometimes, I'll admit it. I didn't even think past my own feelings.
"I'm sorry, I had no idea I was…"
"Being an idgit? Yeah, I know."
It was best not to say anything else. She needed to stew. She never spoke out much, so if she did she must have been really hurt and upset. Then she would just retract, hold everything in until I forced it out of her. But she was driving and already almost ran a red light.
We were inside the mall before she said anything to me.
"Sorry."
I stopped next to a clothing rack. I rested my elbow on it and smiled down at her.
"S'okay. I'm not mad. I'm sorry too." She smiled a bit, her lips pursed up and moved to the side. She averted my gaze for a second. I leaned down, close to her face and she finally looked up at me.
"You gonna help me shop now?" I smiled wryly. I nudged her shoulder with my hand, the bare shoulder.
"Yeah, come on." She walked off and my eyes went right to her ass, fighting those leggings. I adjusted my pants.
My wardrobe didn't vary much so I knew exactly what I wanted. I grabbed three pairs of jeans, a few t-shirts and more sweaters. It was fucking cold.
"That's it?" Jennie followed behind me as I went to check out.
"Yeah. I think?" I looked over my shoulder at her.
"I only washed like three pairs of boxers, don't you need more?" She gestured to the underwear section right ahead of us.
"Nah, I can just go commando." I winked over my shoulder. She shook her head at me with a sigh. I laughed on my way to get some boxers.
Once Jennie was satisfied with my selection, I checked out. On the way out, I noticed her eyes lingering over in the ladies' section, on a particular dress. She stopped for a second, feeling the hem of the dress, thinking I didn't see her.
"You should get it." Her shoulders tensed at my voice. "It's nice."
She smiled at me shyly and shook her head. "I don't think so." She held up the price tag. A whopping two hundred dollars.
My instincts made me shrug in response but I immediately regretted it. I pretended to be rolling out a kink in my neck so she wouldn't notice.
"Pansy designers. Let's go, I'm buying dinner."
I hugged her with one arm around her shoulder. She wrapped her hand around my waist. It was nice, having her that close to me. The warmth of her body heated mine in the cold, even if only for a few seconds. She pulled away and I almost pulled her back to me, but the bit of rationality I had left told me to just let her go.
I tossed the bags in the trunk. "I'm feeling wings, is that okay?" I asked before we got in the car.
"Yeah, that's fine."
I hooked my phone up to her AUX, the latest piece of technology her car had, and played Imagine Dragons. Jennie and I always had the same taste in music, whenever I discover a new song or something I share it with her—we have the same Spotify account that we share.
"Hopefully we don't see anyone we know." We got to the Buffalo Wild Wings, where literally everyone goes that we've ever known, especially around school holidays.
"It's Florence, of course we'll see someone." She laughed.
And we did. Our server was the salutatorian of our class and I saw a few other guys from the football team back in high school. Mino, the outside linebacker, went to play for UT Austin and is going into the draft.
"I always thought you'd go pro." He leaned next to Jennie. I noticed him looking at her exposed skin, my fists clenched under the table but I kept my cool.
"I get that a lot, but no." I laughed uneasily. He had gotten bigger, probably had to beef up for the combine.
"What's next then?" He leaned closer to Jennie. Was he trying to get her attention? I had to laugh a little, she was staring at her phone, probably using her e-reader.
"Uh, medical school." His brows raised, showing off his reddening eyes. He was obviously drinking. Everyone made that same surprised look when I said I was going to medical school, I got used to it.
"Oh, that's awesome Lis." I nodded and went back to chewing celery, only to keep myself from telling him off when he started talking to Jennie.
"Oh, hey Jennie. I almost didn't recognize you." Liar.
She blinked rapidly as she looked up at him and smiled shyly.
"Hey Mino." She spoke quietly.
Jennie doesn't really get nervous around people or anything. She just doesn't really speak for herself much and when she does…yeah, she doesn't.
"Um…so I heard you graduated. Congratulations." He was really trying.
"Thanks." She nodded. She glanced at me quickly, but the good part of me, the part that's her best friend and not in love with her, urged her to continue the conversation. Stupid.
"I'm having a party tomorrow night, you should come." She stared at him as if she were side swiped. I just sat back and cleared my throat. Expecting her to reject him.
"Yeah, sure."
He smiled, showing off his perfect teeth that he probably paid for. He makes me sick.
"Cool, see you then." He bent over and hugged her with one arm, we were high up on the bar tops but he was still taller. My hand clenched around my celery when his hand lingered on the bare skin of her shoulder. He walked off with a new pep in his step.
"Guess I'm not invited." I muttered.
Her eyes flickered to me quickly before going back to her screen. I noticed then that her cheeks were flushed. He made her blush? Seriously?
"Guess not." She sighed. She sipped her water—more like gulped it until it was empty.
"Jennie, do you like that guy?" I finally asked her. She looked up at me and blushed even further. Her fingers twitched around her phone as she shifted in her seat.
"You really don't remember?"
I pursed my lips in confusion and shook my head. "I guess not…?"
She shook her head with a blissful sigh. "I had the biggest crush on him in high school. I used to day dream about us getting married."
I laughed and then immediately felt like an asshole because she huffed and went back to reading. I leaned closer and brushed my fingertips on her forearm.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I just…I thought you were joking. I guess not?" She chewed the inside of her cheek and finally looked back at me. I got lost in the glimmer of her blue eyes before I could speak again. "I didn't remember. So…you still like him?" I asked cautiously. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer.
Her shrug didn't give me much hope. If that was her type—a beefy, blond cretin, I was out of luck. "He's still gorgeous, but I haven't seen him in a while, so I don't know."
I didn't respond until our food got there and I ate a few wings. "What did you ever like about him?"
"What?" She cut into a wing with her fork, popped it in her mouth and gave me a puzzled look.
She always got boneless wings so she could eat them with a fork, says she doesn't want her hands smelling like mango habanero.
"Mino, what did you ever like about him?"
Her shoulders slumped. "I don't know." She muffled with a mouth full of food.
"Come on, you can tell me." I buttered her up with a soft smile. Sometimes even I have to pull information out of her.
"Well, back in high school at least…" she started, I prompted her to continue by leaning closer, "he was the quarterback, you remember that I hope." I nodded, unfortunately I did. He was—is a real asshole. In my opinion, of course. "So, there was that. I mean, he's really hot—the kind of hot I read about."
"What kind of hot am I?" I piqued. She giggled and ignored me.
"I always thought he was kind of sweet too, sometimes. In his own way." I never saw that. "But, he's probably different."
"I guess you'll find out tomorrow, huh?"
She nodded and kept eating, thinking I didn't see her smile down at her plate. Fuck.
Mino ruined my appetite, of course. After that I didn't eat much but ordered two beers. Jennie accused me of pregaming so I went along. Really, I was just trying to drown my own cowardice. I kept thinking, just tell her, but every time I did I imagined her walking away from me. And that was no good. It would hurt too much.
I didn't even feel like going to the bar after, but I promised her I would take her out to celebrate and I am sort of a woman of my word. Sort of. Only when it comes to her.
"You should come with me tomorrow." We were at the bar, squished up on the bar top. She surprised me by ordering a bourbon whiskey.
"I don't know." I sipped on my water. I already had two beers and I already knew I would have to drive us home—Jennie is a light weight.
"Why?" She shot me a funny look, her eyes were already glassy.
"He invited you, Jennie." I answered curtly. Don't even think it, Jennie is a grown woman and can take care of herself, I would only be going to play the jealous best friend and probably ruin her good time.
"Yeah but…"
"I don't have to do everything with you." I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. Jeez, I need to cool it.
"Oh. Right." Her throat followed her swallow and she downed the rest of her drink. I sighed deeply and placed my hand lightly on her knee.
"Sorry. I just don't like the guy." I was apologizing a lot today, it seemed.
"I don't have to go." But she didn't mean that, she really wanted to go.
See, in high school, it was the classic nerd and jock duo—the two of us. Jennie isn't even really a nerd; she just reads a lot. I was the star linebacker of the football team and she was the president of the English club, book club, and Writers of Tomorrow, Today. Long story short, she didn't get invited to parties or kickbacks—but I always brought her and assured her she wasn't tagging along at all. Really, if she didn't come with me, I didn't even care to go.
"But you want to. You're going." She turned back to her phone and kept reading. "What are you reading? We're in a bar." I bellowed. I grabbed her phone before she could stop me.
"Hey!"
"What book is so important?" Sure, she was always reading but not like this.
"It's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events.'" I laughed.
"No, I mean the book you're reading, not me taking your phone." And then she laughed, right from her gut until she couldn't breathe. Was there something on my face?
"Lisa, that's the name of the book—well it's a series." Wow. I mentally kicked myself. Please believe me, I'm a smart girl. You were confused too, right? Right?
"Oh."
She giggled again. "The series is coming to Netflix next month so I'm trying to read it again."
"How many books are there?" I nearly shouted.
"Thirteen." She shrugged like it was nothing.
"And you're on…"
"Book seven."
I nodded.
Seconds later, the bartender placed a cosmopolitan in front of Jennie. "I didn't order this." She pushed it back across the table."
"He ordered it for you." He pointed behind her and walked off.
I turned at the same time as her. Sure enough, a douche looking man smiled and waved. I gagged, she blushed.
"Go talk to him." I had to check myself again. Why would I encourage her, you're probably thinking? Like I said, I have to be her best friend first.
"What? No." She shook her head and turned sideways.
"Jennie, you can't drink it and not talk to him. It's rude."
Her eyes widened and she chewed her lip nervously.
"Come on, drink it for liquid courage and go over there. He's still staring at you." She looked at me in shock, slowly she turned and saw him in fact, staring right at her. She blushed scarlet and turned back to the bar. She downed the Cosmo, hopped off the bar top and walked away. Remember how hard it is to watch her walk away?
It sucked I couldn't drink. I had no choice but to watch, completely lucid as they talked. I could tell he was trying to make her laugh, well, it worked. She was laughing. I couldn't hear her because the bar was too loud but I played the sound in my head as I remembered it—memorized it.
Every muscle in my body clenched when he would touch her, even look at her. From here, I could tell he was trying to see through her shirt. I know the signs. He was trying to get her naked. My blood boiled with jealousy, I wanted to go over there and rip her from his attentions, but that would raise too many questions leaving me no choice but to blurt, 'I love you' out loud.
"You don't look like you're having fun." I didn't notice the voice was talking to me until I felt a hand on my thigh, dangerously close to my crotch.
I flinched and turned, staring for a minute. The woman was hot, I won't lie. She had stark blonde hair, full red lips and her body was squeezed inside of a tight black dress, complete with 'fuck me' heels.
"Guess I'm not having fun." I answered. She smiled and leaned closer until her boobs pressed against my arm. Her hand moved closer up on my thigh until it was completely obvious that she had one intention.
"How about now?" She was so close I smelled the mint and vodka on her breath and her strong perfume—lilac I think.
I glanced over at Jennie, she looked like she was having a good time. I couldn't be a sulking mess, and I didn't want to ruin her time either…I have needs, nothing wrong with that, right? Whether I was right or not, I made a choice.
"A little better." I laid on the charm, drawing my voice out and smirking.
She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and exaggerated drawing it out.
"Let me buy you a drink."
She nodded. She wanted a bloody Mary and I stuck with my water. She gave me a funny look between her sultry pout.
"You're not an alcoholic, are you?"
I laughed a bit. "No, I have to drive home. I came with a friend." She nodded and sipped her drink, purposefully making her lips linger on the cup. Her plays were working, she's hot, I can't lie. She just isn't Jennie.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
"Rosé."
I mouthed her name and held out my hand.
"Lisa."
The corner of her mouth turned up in a smile. "Nice to meet you."
She asked me a lot of questions. Eventually she found out where I went to school, that I played football, that I was graduating soon. I also found out she was a dancer, it explained her rocking body. But she was visiting in between tours. I didn't ask much after that.
She was on her second drink when Jennie appeared.
"You can…can you drive my car home?" She giggled like she told a joke. She dangled her car keys in front of my face. I noticed Rosé staring as I talked to her.
"Where are you going?''
She pointed to the door, where asshole number two stood. Mino is asshole number one. "With Kai." I looked from her and back to him. I felt uneasy, letting her go with him.
"I don't know if I should let you go with him."
She scowled. "Aren't I supposed to be celebrating? I can take care of myself."
"Yeah Lisa, she can take care of herself." Rosé snaked her hand around my bicep and squeezed gently.
"Please, just drive it back." She shoved her keys in my pocket, hugged me quickly and then danced off with Kai. I stared after her in shock. No way she was going home with him, no fucking way…
"Is that your friend?" Rosé drawled. She was already pretty wasted too.
"Yeah."
"Let's get out of here too." She stood up. I paid the tab and left with her.
Yeah, before you say anything, I was letting her distract me—I'll admit it. If I went back to Jennie's, I would be up wondering where she was and probably ruin her good time. I couldn't control her life, no matter how I feel about her. Part of me was hella mad, but another part—the rational part, knew the guy looked like a professional type, he was clean shaven, put together and not too wasted. I chose to believe he was of the few decent guys in the world. And if he wasn't…I had to be the shoulder she cried on, not the one that pushed her any way I wanted.
..
..
I sighed in frustration. I hoped she would be here. It may sound crazy, but this isn't how I imagined her losing it, if that's what was going on. I hopped in the shower for a quick one. I threw on my sweats and sports bra and laid on her bed—she wouldn't mind. I kept checking my phone, over and over until it fell against my chest and I fell asleep.
Course, I didn't know I fell asleep until my buzzing phone snapped me out of it. It was Jennie.
"Hey, you okay?" I heard her breathing but didn't hear anything. That wasn't a good sign.
"Lisa…"
I shot up, her voice was laced with fear and uneasiness. "Jennie, I'm here. What's wrong?" I rushed.
"I…can you pick me up?"
I rushed to find the keys. "Yeah, where are you?"
She coughed. "I don't know…Kai lived like, a couple minutes from the bar. I really don't know." Her voice cracked.
"That's okay, just stay wherever you are and I'll find you, okay? I'll find you." I was already out the door.
"Okay." She hung up.
I wanted to stay on the phone with her but I was driving too fast to try and call her back. Shit, it's cold. I glanced down. Good hell, I didn't put on a shirt.
I went to the bar and then drove down the street, right on to the apartments. Nothing. I circled back and went the other way but still nothing. There was a neighborhood with smaller houses a few more miles down but she didn't say it was that far. But was her perception of time that good?
I stalled the car and called her back, it rang so long I didn't think she would pick up.
"Jennie, I can't…just, do you know your way back to the bar?"
"Uh, I…I don't know."
Damnit.
"Just try okay? I'm going to circle around again."
"Okay."
"Don't hang up this time."
She didn't reply but she didn't hang up either. I went back the first way, most people lived here if they weren't in Woodmont, he had to live here. And where was the prick anyway? She would have to explain it to me because this is a dick move.
My eyes searched in the darkness over and over. I saw something moving, finally. I drove slower and slower.
"Is that you? Turn around." I said to Jennie. She turned around. I sighed with relief.
She ran towards the car and got in quickly. I drove off. "Where's your shirt?" It was barely a whisper.
"I was rushing. What happened?" She shook her head and looked out the window. She didn't want to talk about it yet.
I got back to the house and helped her out. She wouldn't let me get any closer to her than inches apart. I didn't like how she looked. Her eyeliner was smudged, she had obviously been crying and her eyes were red—from alcohol and from the crying. Once we got back into her bedroom, I shut the door behind us. She was consciously avoiding my gaze.
"I'm going to run you a bath, then we can talk." She didn't reply, she was still hugging herself pretty tight. Shivering. My blood boiled with anger…if I ever see that guy again…
I searched under her sink for a bath bomb, she always had them somewhere. I ran the water and plugged the drain. It filled up, I dropped it in.
"It's ready."
She nodded once and brushed past me. I touched her arm lightly as she stood in the doorway, she looked up at me, her blue eyes touched with a world of pain.
"Are you okay, Ruby Jane?" She nodded, I didn't believe her. But I couldn't argue with her before she shut the door.
I sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard as I waited for her. I was tired before but I'm wide awake now. I was worried about her. I didn't have any other way to say it, but she's just…fragile. But also strong. Jennie holds her own, she really does. She has great street smarts, good judge of character; her dad taught her that. But when it comes to guys, she gets a little dopey eyed. Thinking it can happen just like it does in her books she reads, and writes. But it doesn't. She hasn't had a good relationship that could teach her that.
She had been in there for maybe ten minutes so I knocked on the door. "Are there enough bubbles for me to come in?" I called through the door. It wasn't the first time she took a soothing bath while I sat on her toilet seat.
"Yeah."
I came in. She rested her head on a towel and had her eyes closed. I sat on the toilet seat next to the tub where her feet were. "Jennie, look at me." She didn't. I took a deep breath. I hate when she closes up like this—one day she'll get an ulcer from holding her emotions in. "Ruby Jane." I said again. Finally, she looked at me.
The bubbles were still up to her neck and she slunk further into the tub. I fought my gaze from sticking on her bare skin. Her collarbone rose as she breathed. She took a deep breath, the center of her chest hollowing. I wanted so badly to just reach out and kiss her right there.
"You want to tell me what happened?"
She shook her head, glaring up at the ceiling. "Nothing. I just…I just needed a ride home."
I scoffed. "No, you were crying. Just…" it made me sick to even think about it, but I had to ask. She stared right into my eyes now. I really didn't want to ask. "Did he…did he force you to—"
"No!" She cut me off, "No. Nothing like that."
I nodded and relaxed a bit, my fists came unclenched. "Okay. Good. Then why…"
"Can I finish first? I swear I'll tell you everything when I get out." Her eyes pleaded with me. I nodded and stood up. I kissed the top of her head before leaving her alone.
I waited for her on the bed. Still feeling like shit.
..
"Eyes." She spoke quietly.
I closed my eyes, covered them with my forearm until she gave me the go ahead.
"Come here."
She sat next to me on the bed.
I prompted her to lay down on my lap. She stared at the ceiling and I stared at her. I crossed my arms so I wouldn't touch her, if I did I would get carried away. "Why did…just start from the beginning."
Her shoulders tensed up. "I can't."
"What?" I sniped.
She turned to look at me, her head moving farther down my leg. Good. "I mean…it's a really long story."
"I want to know why he left you walking around in the dark. Something could have happened to you."
"It's Florence, nothing happens in Florence." Her brow arched as she pursed her lips at me.
I shook my head, smiling a little. "Doesn't make him any less of an asshole."
"He wasn't I swear. I told him I had a friend waiting and I left."
"He believed you?" I snapped.
"Lisa, how much attention do you show your one-night stands?" I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. My mouth formed a hard line.
"I guess that's…fair." She nodded.
"Just tell me everything, Jennie. No judgement, it's me. Why did you leave with him, were you going to…" I couldn't bring myself to ask her.
Her cheeks flushed, her whole face was red. "Jennie…"
She swallowed, keeping her lips in a hard, pressed line.
"Okay, I have no choice but to tickle you into submission."
"No!"
Too bad I was stronger than her.
I tickled her abdomen until she was writhing beneath me, trying to get away from me. I held her down with one arm, her breasts pillowed against my forearm but I had a mission, I couldn't get distracted.
"Okay, okay!" She shrieked.
I let her go.
She pulled her tank top back down, but she was wearing pants this time so I wasn't too messed up.
"Alright," I exhaled, "lay it on me, Cheesecake."
She sat up and looked at me. My eyes drifted down to the exposed skin of her breasts, lingering for a bit before I looked at her face. Her soft, angelic face framed by her wavy black hair.
"I hadn't decided in the beginning, but after he bought me that drink I just started thinking…" her eyes found mine and she stopped. "You can't laugh." She said.
"I won't laugh." I made the sign for scout's honor and she nodded.
She took in a shaky breath before continuing. "I thought 'this is it' that it could be the moment I finally…you know."
I couldn't help it. "Jennie, please don't have sex until you stop calling it 'you know.'"
She smacked my chest and I deserved it. And I noticed her eyes linger on my abs before finding my eyes again.
"Noted." She glared. "Anyways, that's what I was thinking. I got to his house and we were making out…"
"Making out? Is this the seventh grade?" Man, I'm an asshole.
"Lisa. Stop it." I looked at her, she was really upset about this. I took a deep breath, feeling like an ass. I took her hand for a second.
"Okay, I'm sorry." She nodded and continued.
"After we were making out he started talking to me, and I didn't mind. He's actually a pretty nice guy. But I just couldn't do it. He wasn't an ass about it or anything, but I didn't want him driving me home or anything because I didn't want to really talk about it. I left and then called you."
"But…you sounded really upset. I was really worried about you." I held her gaze.
"I know. Because I felt stupid. Really stupid. And I was…embarrassed." She muttered.
I held her shoulder softly. Before I knew it, I was caressing her face with the back of my knuckles. I felt butterflies in my stomach; I ran my thumb across the swell of her cheek. She leaned into my touch but when our eyes met, I tore my hand away.
"You should never be embarrassed to talk to me. I'm your best friend." She smiled a bit and nodded.
"I know. It was probably all the alcohol." I laughed a bit.
"You know you're a light weight, Cheesecake. You can't do stuff like that. And I was scared to even let you go with him." She nodded and sighed before laying back on my lap.
"I don't even know why it bothers me so much."
"What? Being a virgin?" She nodded.
"Jennie," I sat her up again. This time I was serious, I didn't want her upset about this anymore.
"You almost made a huge mistake tonight. And that scares me, it should scare you." I took a deep breath. "There is nothing wrong with being a 22-year-old prude—I mean virgin." She giggled, "it just means that whatever lucky guy gets to break you in will be the first to touch you, make you feel good. And there is nothing wrong with that. It should be special, and not the first night you meet a guy at a bar. Don't let it bother you anymore."
I locked eyes with her. She nodded slowly. I grabbed her hair and parted it in two—it looked cute that way. I ran my hands down her head until I cupped her face, forcing her to look at me.
"I just think sometimes…that something is—I don't know, this girl told me I look too much like…a girl." I made a confused face.
"What kind of twat would say that?"
"My old roommate."
"Well, she is a 'c-u-next Tuesday' and that's stupid. Not everyone has a crazy libido, and I'm pretty sure there is some kind of club for people like you. What a cretin." She giggled and it made me relax.
"You think so? You don't think I... that I'm not womanly enough."
"What? No." She chewed on her lip nervously and averted my gaze. I used two fingers to lift her chin up. Might as well go down all at once.
"Jennie, you're beautiful. And sexy." Her eyes widened, "you have an awesome rack and quite the ass on you. Seriously, you gave me my first hard on."
She gasped. "What?"
I didn't even regret telling her. "Yeah, when we were fifteen. My parents' Fourth of July pool party. You showed up in that bright red bikini." I was sure my face was bright red too.
She laughed uncontrollably and I laughed uneasily. I wasn't sure if I completely made a fool of myself and made her uncomfortable.
"Oh my gosh. Is that why you disappeared until later that night?" I nodded. I hid until the fireworks, when she was fully clothed. "Wow."
"So, there you go. Even then you…and you've grown up so," in so many words I told her it's only gotten better—worse. Worse for my cock.
"Oh." She tucked her hair behind her ear and laughed again.
"The sun is almost up…I guess we should go to sleep." I broke the silence.
She nodded. I moved to get off the bed but she stopped me.
"Can you…it's just cold."
I nodded. No, this isn't new either. Really, I and the other guys can sleep with girls all the time and it doesn't mean anything other than shared warmth. "Sure."
I got into bed with her. She laid on her stomach, facing me while I laid on my side. Our knees touched, but that was about it. I closed my eyes and was about to drift off to sleep.
"Lisa?"
"Hmm?" I didn't open my eyes. She didn't say anything. I opened one eye to find her nervously chewing on her lip again.
"What's up, Cheesecake?" She didn't look at me. I sighed. "Are you still thinking…"
"No, no you convinced me, I just…" I opened my eyes completely and nudged her shoulder. She looked at me and flushed before looking away again. "I was wondering if you still—if your hard on was a one-time thing or it still happens. Because of me." She whispered hesitantly. My heart might have skipped a beat as I closed my eyes.
"All the time, Cheesecake."
..
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