A child Called It

by The Last Shadow Rider

She felt that she was unworthy of being loved, she was forced to suffer shame. Tears of laughter, devastation, and hope: all create the journey of this girl dubbed "It" and her unforgettable search for love. R for abuse.

7. Emotionless

A Child called "It"

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Disclaimer: Uh yea me no own. Thanks to everyone that reviewed…I just loved all the flames! I was laughing for hours! Really sat here laughing my head off. I am sorry about the scene I couldn't help it; it was necessary for the plot. Uh hey look I don't own Inu, I don't own Kagome's sanity…or insanity which ever you picky people choose, I uh also don't own the woman's hand part…nope sorry, got that somewhere else. Heh, Heh. Yea anyway…No I will not be posting any stupid Sesshoumaru fan girl crap…I haven't had enough sugar. But…..If you insist.

Sesshoumaru: Oh no. This can't be good.

Me: Hey…Guess who I think Sesshoumaru would have fun uh glaring to…Nope guess again, yep. HIEI!

Sesshoumaru: Okay, lets go over this again. Who gave you the sugar?

Me: Points to Hiei

Hiei: Hn, I did not.

Sesshoumaru: You're the only other damned person er uh demon here! You had to have been the one!

Hiei: I did not!

Sesshoumaru: You did to! Glares

Hiei: Glares back

An elf runs by.

Me: Oh mister elf! Can I have more sugar?

sweat drop

Me: Okay on to the story! Oh fluffy!

Summery: She felt that she was unworthy of being loved; she was forced to suffer shame. Tears of laughter, devastation, and hope: all create the journey of this girl dubbed "It" and her unforgettable search for love.

Flashback or scene change
Thinking ''
Talking " "

Dream
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By yours truly: The Last Shadow Rider

Chapter 7: Emotionless

Hey dad I'm writing to you

Not to tell you, that I still hate you

Just to ask you how you feel

And how we fell apart how this fell apart

Are you happy out there in this great wide world?

Do you think about your sons?

Do you miss your little girl?

When you lay your head down how do you sleep at night?

Do you even wonder if we're all right?

We're all right

We're all right

It's been a long hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart; you broke your children for life

It's not ok but we're all right

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes

But those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive

The days I spent so cold, so hungry, were full of hate

I was so angry, the scars they run deep inside this tattooed body

There's things I'll take to my grave, but I'm ok, I'm ok

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Last time

" Why, why did it have to be me?" I silently questioned him. Upon receiving no answer I raised my head. He stood there, shock written plainly acrossed his face. " Sesshoumaru?" Silence seemed to roll on for hours. " You can leave me here if you want, I'm sorry." I returned to crying. Suddenly he seemed to snap out of his daze.

" I will not leave you, nor is it your fault. You have nothing to be sorry about; I am the one who should be sorry. I should have prevented this." He said as he picked me up careful of my lower body. Cradling my body against his chest he turned and jumped out the window. I snuggled closer to my protector, needing all the warmth I could get. I felt so cold and empty, like a ghost in a shell. Like the dead. I closed my eyes and welcomed the shadows, finally giving into the sleep that my body demanded.

She was in pain.

It was clear to see as she writhed and squirmed against his chest. But even this she didn't seem aware of as she thrashed about, trying desperately to get away from whatever was plaguing her mind and body. She was being tormented in her mind. It reminded Sesshoumaru of a poem he had once heard before. He recited it:

"Tormented in her mind, and left behind.

Fallen from the sky, an angel cries.

Look at the angel as she cries through the mist.

The pain conflicted on her life that insists.

Look at the angel as she tries to resist.

To end it all with the slit of her wrist."

It wasn't the best poem to be thinking of in a time like this, but it just seemed to come back to him for no apparent reason. He hated when those kind of things happened. He smiled. Then scowling he thought. 'Why am I smiling? Am I truly a monster?'

He thought back to when he had found her. At first he had thought she was dead, the pain-laced aura that had led him to the room was heart-rending and there had been so much blood. That scent alone, even without the aura, could have led him to Kagome's side. I scowled at the thought that he had thought that the ordeal had killed her.

'But it hadn't,' He reminded himself. 'She had survived.' But to what limit was not known. She seemed lost in her own world. She wouldn't respond to anything he did. That evil half demon was still alive and seeking to reclaim his prize. He had thought that things would have gotten better. But they didn't.

Suddenly, still beaten and broken from the ordeal, Kagome opened her eyes; she snarled with all the venom of a hellcat but then stopped struggling when she noticed Sesshoumaru was the one carrying her. Looking up at him she let the tears rise to her cheeks and spill over onto her white face. She gripped his shirt and sobbed uncontrollably.

" Kagome." He said looking back forward. She did not reply. "I am going to take you back to my home, Kaede will help you with your wounds. I have some business to attend to." He said not really caring if she did not reply, he knew she had heard him. He sighed when she put her head back down to cry into his shirt. Soon she stopped crying, drifting into an uneasy sleep. He finally brought her down upon his bed, and called for Kaede.

Kaede waited hoping that she would be okay. But her hopes were in vain; the miko would never be okay again. Not after what had happened. Kaede had healed her wounds, changed her cloths, and then whipped off the blood. Just because her wounds were gone didn't mean that she wouldn't be in extreme physiological pain and turmoil. Now her eyes were open, staring off into an unknown land. They did blink, but that was after all involuntary.

Her mouth was open in a strangled scream but no sound escaped her lips. Her brow was furrowed in pain and her mouth gaped open exposing still razor sharp fangs. Her claws reached out, trying desperately to fight off her attacker but nothing was there in the old priestess eyes.

In the struggle she had marred her already torn skin, her blood was thick in the air. Something had to be done; this could not go on for much longer. She'd kill herself or turn on her friends in her madness. Also rain clouds were brewing on the horizon, and the rain would be heavy. It seemed that demons were fiercer if it was raining, for whatever the reason.

So Kaede left the room. Somehow in her state, Kagome knew when she had left. And quite frankly she didn't care.

The only other thing she became aware of was the drop in the air pressure just before a drizzle began to fall outside the open window.

Her struggles had stopped and after she left, for a moment she lay spread eagle on the bed panting. Her muscles were still tight from the strain but the worst had passed. She wanted to tear her skin from her body it hurt so much. No matter how hard she tried to forget she couldn't. Questions always came back to her.

' Why didn't I try harder? Why did he do this? Why didn't Sesshoumaru save me? Does anyone care?' Her lips curled in a snarl that followed moments later. 'Of coarse they don't.'

Sesshoumaru walked into the room. Kagome couldn't tell who it was though she was too weak. If he had only known what was going through her mind. It had been three whole days now. She had only gotten worse. Sweat glistened on her brow, and she breathed heavily as if she had the flu.

Tenderly he picked her up in his arms, she did not struggle. Instead she remained perfectly still in his arms. He then walked around to the other side of the bed, and gently laid her down there so that he had room to sleep as well. He would not leave her in her condition, at least not tonight. Should she need anything he would be right there.

InuYasha had already been informed of the incident and was told not to do anything rash, or become a nuisance. InuYasha had stayed by her side for a while; Kaede had left to prepare dinner about an hour ago. Now it was his turn to watch her. He turned his head to look at her face.

Her head was tilted towards him. She seemed to see and yet did not. Nothing stirred those now still cerulean pools. She opened her mouth as if to breathe but instead she began to whimper. Closing her eyes she breathed in. She wanted to speak but couldn't, Sesshoumaru understood.

She felt a cold presence enter her mind, and faded into to see whom it was. The landscape was splattered with different shades of gray, it was a clearing in a forest, and next to the clearing stood a huge tree. The skies were a whirl of violent patterns and yet eerily gray.

A large hill could be seen not far away, where at the summit a woman stood. As one climbed the hill the green grass gave way to reddish brown dirt, it seemed here nothing would grow.

Kagome was there, clad in a simple white gown and standing before a large red sphere. She turned to see whoever had followed her into her mind. But only saw a misty gray figure, undistinguishable.

A voice was trying to tell her that this was not a dream that this was not real and she needed help. A hand was stretched out to her but she backed away angrily, her eyes filled with scorn.

"No."

She turned to the sphere, looking inside she could see something, a dark sphere inside, it was…her sanity. The gray figure beside her yelled at her to stop as she reached out as if to touch it but her hands merely passed through the wall and then passed through the sphere, it sent waves of electricity out, and the blackness started to consume her arm. The figure beside her grabbed her form, pulling her away from the darkness.

Her eyes widened with shock and sorrow, and she curled her hand into a fist. She stared at figure and then fell to her knees, tears filling her own eyes. She did nothing to stop them from falling, just as the world around her was beginning to fade her mind was closing to all. The first and last time it ever would.

They were back in the grassland with Kagome still on the ground. Her eyes were closed but she was not dead, her steady breathing alerted such.

For the moment all was well. Finally she was at peace. Sesshoumaru frowned this was not good. Pulling out of her thoughts he looked at the ceiling as he thought of what to do next. Slowly he reached over to her and pulled her close. Nuzzling his head in her hair he took in her scent.

" I don't want to loose you." He finally said.

The girl stopped her shivering and was silent, as if waiting for him to continue. So he did.

" Gomen." He finally said. That was the first time in his entire life that he had apologized for something. To this girl he didn't know why, he felt as though she deserved it after what he had put her through.

He tightened his grip on her burying his head into her crown as he heard her speak. "Don't be." It was barely above a whisper but he still heard it.

No matter what she said, no matter what she did. This…this was his fault.

A silent tear ran down his cheek. Rubbing it off onto his fingertip he stared at it, unbelievingly. Tears were so foreign to him, he never cried. Sesshoumaru couldn't understand, how could he not help this woman? Lifting her fragile hand into his he turned it slightly.

His eyes continued to stare at her hand. It was so small, so delicate and it contrasted so deeply with his own strong and dangerous one. A woman's hand; his mind did something it rarely did and wandered to a time when his father was speaking to him about InuYasha's mother. At the time he had not cared to think on what he was being told, merely listened out of respect.

'My son, someday you will understand one undeniable fact of all life: women, no matter their species and no matter their strengths, need a protector. When you look at a woman and see that she is more than a dutiful being there to serve you, but that you are truly there to serve her. That is when you will know the power beneath their fragile bodies. A woman can give you the strength to go beyond anything possible.' His father had said this slowly, his voice deep and thick with emotion. It was obvious that he had never felt this for Sesshoumaru's own mother, but still expected his son to understand.

He hadn't. He still didn't quite get it. But here and now, holding this dead human female's hand within his own immortal grasp he saw some truth behind his father's words. Women required protection, even from themselves and even from their families.

' Sesshoumaru, is there something you wish to protect?' His father had asked. Going back to yet another memory. This time it was on a beach, the night his father had died. They were standing facing the curling waves.

'Something to protect?' He had answered. " Ihave no need…to pursue such an endeavor.'

"Yes," He finished out loud, the salty sting disappearing from his senses. "There is something I wish to protect." With a resigned sigh he lowered his gaze and released her hand to fall to the bed below. A pulse of warmth ran through him. This girl, had somehow managed to find her way into his heart. Setting high in his eyes along with his mother.

He wanted, no needed to protect this girl.

He just didn't know how. He finally drifted off to sleep as he felt Kagome's breathing deepen signaling that she was asleep. He needed to think things over in the morning.

Golden eyes opened to greet the sunlight as he heard a muffled cough at the doorway. Turning his gaze he glared at his brother. He was ready to get up but he stopped as he remembered that the girl lay on his chest. His strong arms still possessively clung to her body.

" What?" He hissed. He felt the girl above him flinch, and calmed himself down. In return she snuggled deeper into his embrace.

" I just thought you'd like to know that her school called her fathers house and her father told them your number. I guess he knows where you live." He said leaning against the doorframe.

" How?"

" They said he found a number near the phone."

" She is safe here. There is a barrier up remember? He cannot pass through. Only if I will it."

"Right, anyway I told the school she was under the weather and wouldn't be there for a couple of days."

"Why did you think it necessary to wake me just so that you could tell me this?" Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.
" Why else? So that you could thank me and kiss my demon ass!" He joked, turning to point at his butt.

" Will you get Kaede to get us both some food." Sesshoumaru said turning his gaze back to the girl, then back to his brothers.

" Yea sure, I think your really starting to warm up to her." He yelled down the hall.

Looking back down at her, only to be met with deep blue eyes staring intently at him. She held a sort of amusement in her shimmering eyes. She finally looked like she was supposed to.

Pushing herself up so that she was just above his face she said " Good morning Sesshoumaru." Her voice was like ice. No emotion what so ever. The light smile he once held faded into a frown. She still was not herself.

" Good morning." He replied.

" How are you?" She asked.

" I should be asking you that question."

" Im…Im okay, it still plagues my mind a lot. I'm really sorry." She said looking away. Sniffing she opened her eyes looking at him she gave him a heart melting smile. " Food." Was the only word she said before she rolled off of him and sat in the bed, waiting for the door to open. When it did Kaede walked in with a big tray with two plates of blueberry pancakes, two cups of orange juice, and a canister of syrup.

"Good morning Kaede-sama!" She smiled.

The old woman seemed shocked and looked over to Sesshoumaru for answers. She got a slight nod. Looking back at the girl she smiled too. "Good morning child! I see you are doing much better. That is good so see. Sesshoumaru must be really taking care of you."

"Yes he has been," Replied Kagome looking back over at his emotionless face. " He came for me and saved my life before I did something awful. He stopped me from killing the rest of my sanity. Thank you M-lord." Kagome said as she bowed her head. "Now. I'm starved where is that food that I smell." She said turning back to a beaming Kaede.

' It looks like she is a keeper my lord. What are you planning to do with her?' Kaede asked

' I…wish to protect her…therefore I have decided.' He was silent for a moment. 'She will become my mate.'

Kaede's face paled and she dropped the tray in her hands onto the floor.

"Hey!" Kagome whined.

"Good Lord!" Kaede said staring at the wall in front of her.

It's been a long hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life

It's not ok but we're all right

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes.

But those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive

And sometimes I forgive, yeah and this time I'll admit

That I miss you, said I miss you

It's been a long hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart; you broke your children for life

It's not ok but we're all right.

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes

But those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive

And sometimes I forgive, yeah and this time I'll admit

That I miss you, said I miss you...hey dad

Hey all this chapter actually came really easy for me. I think I'm happy. How about you guys? Yes no maybe so? Oh well hey happy Easter! I hate bunnies just to let you guys know. I hate em, I hate em, I hate em! You know a rabid rabbit attacked me. Hehehe. Okay it wasn't 'rabid' it was just really mean and albino. It had red eyes! Oh well. Review.

Q: I hope you have a better live now.

A: Uh…No actually I don't, don't worry yourself over me, I'm not that important!

Q: Do you need a beta reader? If so I'll be your beta reader. –InuKagluver91

A: Uh….hehe what the hells a beta reader I'm sorry but I'm pretty stupid…but uh hey what can you expect I'm only in a thing called the O.M.E.G.A. program, it's like an ESE class but for smart people. Sometimes I wonder how the hell some of the kids got into it! oO

(This one isn't really a question but hey) Q: I read the poll and personally I think death is to good for him. Take away his power and make him the slave. Kagome's slave. Or just leave him stranded on an island of homosexual demons that are stronger than he could ever be.

A: Uh…Im scared. Um well that's one way to deal with Naraku…Although I'm quite sure that's not the way I will be using.

Q: Wow, this story sounds so real, I've read the book and I know that some of these scenes aren't in it, so where do you get your ideas?

A: I guess you could say from real life experiences. My life isn't the best and I'll leave it at that.

Q: Will this be an Inu/Kag story?

A: FOR THE LAST TIME! NO! I CLEARLY MADE IS KNOWN THAT IT WILL BE A SESSH/KAG STORY! ALTHOUGH I WILL PUT INUYASHA IN IT FOR YOU PPLS.

Q: Will Naraku pay for what he's done?

A: I really don't know I think I'm gonna ask you the readers….so.

POLL

Should Naraku pay for his crimes, by death, an almost fatal 'accident', or should he die but not before he takes poor Kagomes life. (She can come back.) Or should Naraku just be forgiven and go on living without punishment for what he's done?

Yes/die 3

Yes/but he kills Kagome 6

Yes/almost die 2

No/live happily 1 (What the heck? Okay who gave this person the sugar?)

Next chapter: Not enough: Well it's time for Sesshoumaru to break the news to Kagome. How will she handle it? What will happen to Naraku now that he knows Kagomes whereabouts? And what's with the Swedish dancing tuba players? All your questions will be answered next time on. A child called "It"

Ja Ne- TLSR