Hey everyone well this is the big chapter that you all have been waiting for. Hope u enjoy it.

Thanks to everyone especially those who are my constant reviewers: AlmostOverTheEdge; Nyx's Pinky Girl; And Olivehope. If I left any one out I do apologize.

Like I promised it has a lot of Stark and Zoey moments.

And like always you know I don't own H.O.N. series.

Zoey

For a while, we walked around in silence. It was really beautiful outside. It's was kind of cold since the sun had barely begun to rise but snow hadn't fallen in days. What time was it?

Taking off his sweater he said "Here, it's kind of cold outside."

Blushing I argued "No, it's okay. I'm fine, really. Besides, after becoming a fledgling, it's not so cold anymore." Ignoring my protest he held it open, gesturing with a knowing smirk for me to wear it. Rolling my eyes, I smiled and put it on. It was so warm. Wow, I can't believe I have his sweater on. I really needed to expand my vocabulary. There has to be a better word then 'wow' to describe someone.

"Come on Zo, I'll show you everything that you need to know about this place." Putting his arm around my shoulder, he started his grand tour of my new home.

As we passed places, he explained what they were for, their history, or their names. He even showed me places where he and the gang hung out. More than half the time I zoned out. It was sad to say, but I was just too busy either looking at him, thinking about him, or just concentrating on the fact that he had his arm around me. While I stared at him, I noticed how quiet he got as we headed to this big tree. "Stark is something wrong?" I asked him while he seemed to be contemplating something.

Once we got near the tree he paused and faced toward me. Resting his hands on my shoulders he said, "Zoey, I know that we've just met and it's probably none of my business, but I want to know why you hurt yourself."

I couldn't even believe he just asked me that. Shocked, all I could do was just look at him. Why in the world did he have to ruin a good day, I mean really? Narrowing my eyes and as cold as possible I told him "You're right. It's none of your business." I could see that I hurt him badly, so I started walking away.

Gently grabbing my wrist he said "Wait Zoey, don't go." He then realized that he grabbed me where I had cut myself. Letting go, he asked me in a very worried tone, "Are you ok? Did I hurt you again?"

I couldn't look at him. He really did care and like always, I was pushing someone away from me. And what's worse is that I was pushing him away. Now, I felt even more terrible about myself. When I didn't answer him, he slightly tilted up my face towards him. I stilled couldn't bring myself to look at him. Desperately he said "Zoey can you please answer me? Just look at me, please."

Reluctantly I did. "No Stark, you didn't. I'm fine." There was so much anguish in my voice that it matched the look in his eyes.

"Look at them anyway." I pulled up the sleeves from his sweater and then took off my zebra striped gloves. At first I wasn't really paying attention since I was just thinking about whether to throw the gloves away or keep them since blood the from earlier stained them.

Taking a good look at my arms, I basically went into a shock. I'm pretty sure Stark was too. Looking back at him, I saw his eyes widen in surprise. I still couldn't believe it myself. My arms were completely bare. There wasn't a trace of any cut that I had made over the years. I started kneeling down and just rambling off as he kneeled with me. "I was never like this. I never use to do this to myself. I was normal. I wore normal clothes, had lots of friends. I was never really alone. And then… and then…" I couldn't even bring myself to tell him everything. "But now I'm just a freak and it's not even because of my mark, it's because… it's because… " I trailed off again. How could I tell him everything? Where would I even begin? As I felt my eyes tearing up, I looked away from him. I didn't want him to see me cry.

As my tears fell, I decided that I should leave. He shouldn't have to see me like this. Before I could get up he pulled me towards him and gathered me into his arms. Holding onto him I couldn't stop the tears. I had held them in for so long.

Cradling me in his arms he spoke, "Zoey since the moment I saw you, you were never a freak. I see how beautiful you truly are from the inside and out. And no matter how you look or dress you will always be beautiful to me. And plus, you're really hot."

Even as the tears fell, I laughed. "Whatever and you're even hotter."

"Ya I know." His playfulness was able to bring a smile out of me despite how terrible I felt. Leaning back against him, I looked up at him with tears still streaming down my face.

Pausing only for a second to hug and look at me, he continued to comfort me.

"Zoey things happened to me after I was marked." This was it. He was going to tell me what Jane wouldn't. His past.

He was trying to help me, even if it hurt him. I couldn't let him do that. I didn't want him to hurt anymore. Not because of me. "Stark you don't have to tell me anything. Jane told me that something horrible happened after you were marked. I know it must be painful to say it…"

Cutting me off he said, "I want to tell you Zoey. I need to tell you everything. You have to know about me. I'd rather be the one to tell you how much of a monster I am before you hear it from someone else."

Finally, I stopped crying enough to speak clearly. "Stark don't call yourself that." I just couldn't comprehend how he saw himself that way.

Defeated he said "You won't feel that way after I tell you."

"Then tell me Stark. Tell me, so I can prove you wrong."

Bitterly he told me, "I hope you can, but so far no one's succeeded."

"Sorry, but I'm extremely stubborn." Nothing would convince me otherwise.

He smiled a bit. I think he was finally realizing what he was dealing with. "Stark, you could say I'm kind of like Jane, but probably a few bars under her stubborn. And I know that's a lie. I bet Jane has succeeded. Knowing her, she most likely did it a million times. You just probably ended up listening to the wrong people." His smile widen but only for those few moments.

As he started to talk again, a grim look took over his features. "Zo, when I was first Marked I had to leave everyone behind. Everyone, except Duch. It killed me to say goodbye to Jane. We use to live in Chicago, so I went to the House of Night there. Once I got there I was assigned to a male vamp named, William Chidsey. He was my mentor, my best friend, and into Archery. For almost two hundred years he was the undisputed champion." As he talked about this male vamp there were definitely two conflicting feelings in his voice: pride and pain.

"So I'm guessing that means he was the best in the entire world since vamps are the best out there."

"Yep and he was. He slaughtered anyone and everyone - well at least until two years ago."

"What happened?" There was so much pain in him. It was so hard for him to tell me this.

It was just as hard for me to see him this way. Once again, I reached out for my elements. Whispering I asked, "Spirit, come to me. I call upon you once again. Please go to Stark and help him in his time of need." As I felt spirit rush away from me, this time I saw a tiny haze of purple surrounded him. You could barely see it. At first, I couldn't tell if I was the only one to see and feel it - since I was the one who channeled it - but then I saw Stark's eyes widen.

"Zoey… you did it again. Why?"

"For the same reason I told Jane. I hate see you in such pain that I needed to do something about. So I asked Spirit to comfort you. And it seems to doing a better job than me." I was smiling at the end because he did look a bit better.

Holding me even tighter he said "No. The fact that you're here with me helps a lot. Spirit just gives it a boost when you think it's needed." I smiled at how unbelievably corny he could be.

As my grin faltered I asked him, "Stark can you finish telling me what happened?"

"Two years ago the Summer Games were held. And Will died."

"What! How?"

"I.. " Looking at me he was terrified. Even with Spirit, Stark was restless.

"Stark, listen you can tell me anything. I won't judge you. I can't because… well because… I really… care about you." Oh my Goddess I was about to say the "L" word. But I had to be honest. It was the only thing that could help him. I was just afraid that he wouldn't feel the same.

"Is that all you feel?" Goddess there he went again, with those big brown eyes. They pierce right into my soul and I couldn't even look away. "No Stark that was lie. I don't just care about you I… um… Stark… I"

Cutting me off he said "Zoey I love you, but you can't care for me. I'll hurt you like I hurt Will."

Hey call me shallow but I was still shocked at that fact that he said love, so I didn't fully get what he told me after that. "What do you mean that you hurt Will?"

His face twisted with self-mockery. "Both of us were practicing right before the finals and we were way ahead everyone. We already knew that the silver and gold was definitely ours. I wanted to win so badly. It was the most focused that I had ever been. I kept thinking that no matter what, I wanted to hit the mark and a beat Will. I shot the arrow looking at the bull's-eye with my eyes, but really in my mind I imagined beating Will. The arrow went to the target I had in my mind. It hit Will in his heart and killed him instantly."

With a feeling that I was saying what our Goddess wanted and with her power, as gently as I could I told him while staring directly into those sweet, saddened eyes, "Stark it wasn't your fault. What happened was an extremely horrible, terrible accident. You didn't know about your powers then. If you could change it, you would. I hate to say it but what's done, is done and no matter how much we want to change things, most of the time we can't. Will's in a good place now. He's with our Goddess. I didn't know him but I'm sure he'd want you to live your life: without fear and without sadness. Honor him by continuing to live your life. It's all you can do for him; that and just remember the good times you had."

Snuggling back into his embrace, we just stood like that for a while; him holding me and me holding onto him. With a smile playing on his lips he asked, "When did you get so wise?"

Smiling I replied, "I'm pretty sure it was after I got Marked because I know I was never this smart."

"Zoey what are you talking about. I know you're not dumb."

"I know. Stark as strange as this sounds, all I really do is listen to these feeling I get from Nyx and I know that what I'm doing is either right or wrong."

After a while there was a difference. As he continued to talk, he went through this change. In the beginning it was agonizing for him. But as he kept going I notice that it got a bit easier. There was still the pain from what he'd done. But now there really wasn't self-hatred. It was just sorrow and acceptance.

"Exactly a two months later, Jane was Marked. She was the first person to know the truth about Will's death. After that and for a while, I couldn't even be near her. I even refused to shoot. I had missed her so much that she was always on my mind. I was terrified that I would hurt her too. One day I couldn't take the hole that shooting left. I had made sure that no one was around. I went into the range that they had built on the campus. Clearing my mind I thought of nothing but the target in front of me. And for a split second, right before I released my arrow, I thought about how much I missed Jane. Shocked, I lost my focus for a mere second, and I let my arrow go. Realizing that my arrow was gone, I ran trying to reach the girls' dorm. Spotting Jane outside the guys' dorm she seemed fine. I ran faster to get to her but she just stood there and looked at me. As I got closer I saw my arrow on the ground. Confused I started to apologize; it was the only thing I could do, but she put up her hand signaling me to stop. Picking up the arrow she smiled at me and said "Shoot it again."

"What, was she insane?" I couldn't believe her. She truly needed help.

Laughing he said, "That's the same question I asked her. But all she kept saying was 'Shoot the arrow and think of me.' She finally convinced me after a good eight hours. Probably, even more. So we went to archery range. I took the arrow from her and did what she told me to do. Even though it killed me, I pictured the arrow hitting Jane and I let it go. It was just couple of inches away from her, when a pink shimmering glow appeared. It stopped the arrow from hitting Jane, then landed on the ground. Relieved I just hugged her. Of course she couldn't stop bragging that she was right, that she was stronger than me - since I couldn't hit her, and how crazy it was that Nyx blessed her with a gift that was the opposite of mine. But I couldn't care less of her bragging. I didn't have to worry about accidentally killing my sister anymore. Needing to leave Chicago, we transferred. When we got here, everything was so different. For a while it was a lot better. Well until Neferet ruined everything."

"Stark what did Neferet even want? The last time I had seen her she kept looking at me like I was some kind of experiment. Mind you, she's still pretty intimidating."

Huffing he said "She wants me to start shooting again."

I didn't really think that it was a bad idea. "Well, why don't you? It sounds like you miss it a lot."

He kept looking at me like I was slow. Closing his eyes and sighing, he ran his hand through his hair.

UUhhhh, now what did I do. Getting up I said "I'm sorry Stark. I-I just…" Confused, I really didn't know what else to do.

He stood up. As he looked back at me, a smile spread across his face and then he just gazed at me. Holding my hands in his, he told me "Don't apologize to me. You haven't done anything wrong. You're just trying to help. It's just that you're always on my mind. It's effortless. I can't help but think about you."

"It's cause I'm so freaking amazing." At that we both laugh.

Gently touching my check he said "Yes, you are amazing.

I didn't want to be the one that stopped him from using his Goddess given gift. "Stark, I think you're underestimating me. I'm pretty sure that I have affinities for all the elements."

Now it was his turn to be confused. "Jane was telling me something like that."

"Looks like Jane's got a pretty big mouth when it comes to both of us."

"Yep, but what can you do?"

I shrugged. I had just gotten to know Jane, but even I knew that no one could keep Jane quiet. We started walking back to the building.

"I just want to know if I'm right. Do you know how I could test it?"

Thinking and walking, he then told me "Well I'm not really sure, but we could ask Damien. He's the genius in the group. He basically knows everything about our kind and lots more."

As we continued to walk I decide to make the first move this time, so I wove my fingers through his hand. Looking at him I could see that his smile - which had spread across his face - got even wider. We were in front of the girls' dorm. It was too soon for me. Turning to face him, I saw he had his head down and was looking at our intertwined hands.

"Zoey, I just want say thanks for everything. No one, well except for Jane of course, really gets me. And it's not even that. You make me believe that I can be myself and that things will be fine. And… and what I said earlier I meant it. I really do…" Looking at me he said the big "L" word. "I do love you. I know it's probably crazy but I just can't see it any other way. I've never felt like this about anyone." Looking at him I was just amazed. He loved me. I didn't get why but I sure as hell wouldn't question it because I felt the same way.

I was about to tell him how I felt when he asked "Zoey do you feel better?" His attention was back to our intertwined hands.

"I... Ya I do. And thanks for everything that you've done; for telling me about your past. It was hard for you, but I'm glad you told me." Damn I lost my nerve.

"No Prob. Zo when you feel like you need me, just have Jane yell for me anytime." He smirked at his own joke about his sister.

With a more serious tone, he looked directly at me. "I'll always be there for you. You can count on me for anything." I was drowning in those eyes of his. Pretty soon I was going need a life jacket if I kept this up.

His face was just a couple of inches away. As it got closer to mine I asked "Anything?"

I could already feel his sweet breath on my face and with a smirk on his lips he told me "Anything". And with that his lips gently touched mine. So much love which was put into it. It was so soft and sweet.

After a while I reluctantly, pulled back dreamily saying "See ya tomorrow."

Kissing my hand "It can't come soon enough. Night Zo." And then he left. I stood standing there for an extra couple of seconds until he completely disappeared. Turning around, I opened the door to have three female fledglings fall to the floor. I couldn't believe it. They quickly got up. Jane was the first to speak up. "Well we're busted. Twins pay up."

Getting up Erin said "You know twin, I think she cheated."

"I bet she used her twin's intuition." Shaunee replied while straightening herself out.

"I think you are indeed right twin." Erin continued

Each of them handed over a twenty to Jane. Grinning, at last I spoke. "Why is it that I find you girls on the floor as soon as I opened the door? Were you spying on me?"

"Sorry Z. Both Stevie Rae and I try stopping them, but you really can't tell these girls what to do. Plus they have no self-control," Damien said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Y'all really should be ashamed of yourselves." Both of them were sitting on the couch looking at the girls in disbelief.

Shaunee dismissed her. "Whatever, we found out what we wanted to know."

"Ya, even if we were wrong. But on the bright side, this can be some really juicy gossip." Erin said with a big smile on her face. Ah hell.

Jane went and stood near Damien. Duchess had fallen asleep on the floor. "Well, all that spying and of course being right has me got beat. Come on Duch let's take you to my dear brother. I'm sure he assumed you're already in his room." At the call of her name, Duchess woke up and followed Jane out the door.

Yawning, I said "Hey, I'm going to head to bed already. I've been up all day."

"Oh Zoey before you leave can we ask you something?" Erin had a creepy smile that could probably compete with Jane's.

I had a feeling that it had to do with what she heard.

"Ya, what's up?"

Smirking Shaunee answered, "You want to know what the bet was about?"

Stevie Rae butted in. "Leave Z alone. She needs her sleep. She's not used to our schedule yet."

Erin pouted, "Fine, but we are so not through with her."

Mouthing thanks to Stevie Rae, I started up to my room. The minute I reached my bed, I plopped myself on it. I was blown away by how much had happened in one day. Thoughts of Stark then came to mind. Just thinking about him felt so invigorating. I could hardly believe that he told me all those wonderful things. Especially that he loved me. Thinking about him and the fact that maybe I could be the person I once was had me feeling like I was living in a wonderful dream. That maybe it was possible to be normal. Well, as normal as I could get since I was marked now. As I was drifting off to sleep another thought came to me. With Stark by my side, I just might be able to be the Zoey I once was and wanted to be. And with that final thought, I smiled not really being able to remember the last time when I was this happy. Letting my exhaustion take over, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Stark

Walking away was hard. I didn't want to leave her, but I just had to keep reminding myself that I'd see her tomorrow. Well, Jane was right, like always. I was in deep but I couldn't care less. I had Zoey. And she'd always have me. Man, Jane is going to have a field day with this. Laughing, I thought about how long it had actually been since I was truly happy. As I made it halfway to my room, it dawned on me that in two days Christmas Eve would be here. I never expected to be home, so I guess I'd have to get Jane to help me with some Christmas shopping.

"James, forgetting someone?" Speak of the devil, Jane showed up behind me with my dog trotting along beside her.

"I figured you would have left her in my room."

"I would have, but Logan was asleep. So I didn't want her to wake him up."

"Right. Thanks for bringing her to me."

Yawning she said "No biggie. See you tomorrow." She turned and walked back in the direction of the girls' dorms. With Duchess trailing behind me, I made it to my room.

Opening my door, I took a look around my room. My old roommate Logan, who's been my best friend since day one at this school, was in for quite a surprise tomorrow. As I walked in, I closed the door quietly and went to lie down on my bed with Duch at the bottom end of it. Everything was still the same. That was a shocker. Smiling, I could bet both Jane and Logan had something to do with it. I could picture Jane staying in here and threatening the crap out of anyone who would even try to move my stuff out. I would have to remember to remind myself to thank Jane for everything, later.

I kind of felt free now. Zoey knew who I was. She didn't make up excuses for what I'd done as everyone else did. Well thinking back, some didn't make excuses. They just assumed things or told me exactly what Zoey told me. Still, she was the one who got through me. She didn't lie or say that it didn't matter. She knew how I'd much I blamed myself and how much it hurt, but she made me realize that the only way I could truly repay Will for what I'd done to him was to start living my life. Will, probably would've smacked me upside my head for being a coward and quitting archery. For running away. It was time to face everything. I didn't care what Neferet was planning. I would have to get stronger and overcome any obstacles that she'd put in my path. I had to learn how to control my gift. I had everyone by my side again. And now, I even had Zoey. Thinking about her, I finally drifted off to sleep.

Well I hope you liked reading it as much as I liked writing this one. Very emotional chapter indeed. Don't forget to review and let me know how you felt about the longest chapter I've written so far. And I always appreciate all the nice and wonderful reviews. Thanks again for reading this story! XD