I don't own Fruits Basket. Or Shigure. Or anything like that.

Hope you enjoy this… it's rather canon in a way, and old hat, but still… give me time to read all the manga and I'll be able to catch up on the storyline…

Please review after reading and tell me what you think?

Most of the italics are Shigure's thoughts except for the ones I put line breaks around - in which case, it's Hatori doing the thinking...

At All Cost

I had a dream about the one I love and then there was nothing I could do.

What does that girl know, Shigure wondered, hiding a bitter smile as he watched Tohru walk down the pathway to go on her double date with Kyo, Kagure, and Yuki. For a moment, he detested that bright smile.

Tohru, you've got another think coming if you believe everything can be healed with a smile. If that were true, then I –

I wouldn't be living a lie.

Still… that doesn't mean I can't spread the Valentine's cheer for her.

All of them have dreams. I don't want them to be shattered.

Like mine.

He pushed the thought away and after pulling on his favorite black yukata, found Tohru's packages and set off for the Main House, reveling in the sweet smell of spring. Spring always promised new things for people. For Shigure, it was a time for rain and the smell of green grass and the arrival of new birds, new animals and new plants.

Spring is growth. It's fertility. Except for us.

He side, shook his head, forced himself to think on his newest manuscript and found his way to Hatori's door.

"Here, Haa-san! Some Valentine's Chocolate from me!"

SLAM!

"Okay! I lied. It's from Tohru-kun. Please let me in!"

"Idiot."

Once he got over the issue of Hatori's spring-time grumpiness –

Seriously… can't he take a joke? Where's Aya when you need him?

He settled himself down for a good smoke with his cousin. Of course, the talk strayed quickly into more serious matters.

Hatori has that kind of bad influence. And he's still harping on me about – tch…. Who would have thought that Tohru would have that kind of influence on the guy… On Yuki, Kyo… just about every one she meets…

"She's very thoughtful." The doctor murmured.

Shigure nodded in agreement.

"She IS very thoughtful. There's some for Momitchi and Haa-kun, too. She wanted to bring it here herself… but I volunteered to deliver it here instead. Because she's out on a date! That's right! She and Yuki-kun, and Kyo-kun and Kagure are on a double date."

Hatori could just see Shigure mentally rubbing his hands together in glee.

Let it never be said that the baka inu is heartless.
He zoned back into Shigure's senseless babble.

"That's unexpected…"

"Isn't it? Yuki and Kyo! Who would have guessed?"

"Tohru-kun is quite an influence on them."

Shigure lit a cigarette again.

"That might be her influence. She does have something about her that softens people." Hatori smiled at the thought.

"Awhile ago I was picking on Kyo-kun a bit and he got very upset…"

"You shouldn't do that."

"But when he came back with Tohru-kun, it was as if nothing had happened. She's like a tranquilizer for those two."

Hatori, shut his eyes, turned his head away and blew out cigarette smoke impatiently.

He's pissed…

"You must be very pleased with yourself. Everything is going, just as you planned."

"Why must you take that tone with me?" I roll my eyes at him.

"Ask your conscience. You say you're not using her? You're lying. You and Akito are doing a fine job of using Honda-kun as your pawn… for your own selfish reason."

Hatori raised his eyes and then, blinked at Shigure's still, solemn face. It was rare to see such an expression on the Inu.

"Do you remember that morning I had that dream? You and me and Aaya all cried, remember? That morning, it became something painful for you two. But for me, it still remains in my heart."

That Longing.

That Passion.

Paralyzingly sweet and sad.

I-I want to make it last forever. I want to be able to hold it in my hands. And I will.

Shigure raised his hardened, determined brown eyes.

"I still remember that vow. If I can make it happen, I won't feel guilty about the means to that end – even if it means someone gets hurt in the process. There are times when I hate myself for it. Especially when I see Tohru-kun. It's not what you think… She really is a good kid… Even though she is a tranquilizer for Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun… it just seems to me that everything's coming together so cleanly. I'm forced to see that I may be the filthiest one…"

"Well… I really could use a bath. But I digress… That's why, Hatori, I envy even you. I may be the most cursed of us all."

Later that day, Hatori watched him walk away.

Tohru, you've changed everyone – but don't make the mistake of thinking that you're work is done. Some people you think are alright – they are the hardest ones to reach.

But then…

How can you reach a ripple?

Aya… perhaps you were right…

Even now, he's off to get his drug.

Akito. Do you even know what you are doing here?

Shigure told the truth to Micchan that night: the truth everybody wanted to know, even Akito.

The truth that Hatori suspected.

The clockwork that made the great man tick. Nobody was there to hear it. Nobody was there to document it, analyze it – or even recognize it for what it was:

"The most important thing to me… has always been me."

Help me reach my dream. I - I want to make it last forever. I want to be able to hold it in my hands. And I will.