Neal felt like he was floating in and out of consciousness but he couldn't find a grip on reality and stay awake, till he focused on the pressure on his hand. He focused on its warmth and held on to it. When he opened his eyes, it took him a while to recognize his surroundings. He knew where he was but not why. He couldn't feel anything till his eyes met Peter's who was looking at him with concern. The sadness and pain on Peter's face took away all the fogginess out of his mind. He knew the pain. He remembered the pain and now he knew why he was here. He couldn't take the pressure of Peter's eyes and felt the tears move down his cheeks and tried to look away. This was too much. It was like he had no control over his emotions anymore. There were no more walls let alone the fortress he spent years building to keep his true emotions and feelings from everyone. He felt Peter's hand tighten around his and tried to ignore it.

"Hey buddy, you gave us a scare, how are you feeling now?" Peter said. Neal could hear how Peter's voice shook and it made him feel guiltier than he already did. Peter sounded so gentle and God, how much he needed that gentle voice in his life. He wanted to reply, to say something, but he couldn't come up with any words. When the nurse came to the room to check on him, he was thankful that he can have a few moments before having to talk. Peter talked to the nurse when she was done but he couldn't focus enough to hear what they were saying. Peter was back to his side, holding a cup of water. Neal had just a small sip and it made him feel just a little better. He realized Peter is talking to him again.

"…you feeling? We need to talk Neal. I know that's probably the last thing you want now, but I can't wait any longer. I have to say this to you. Neal, I'm sorry that you thought this is your only choice. It shouldn't have gotten to this point. You shouldn't have gone through this much pain. But this is not the way. It's never the way. I don't want to make you feel guilty that you shouldn't have done this because of the people who care about you, but because of yourself Neal. This life could be hard, cruel, and bring you to your knees one time after another, but if you stop living it, you could deprive yourself of all the good moments that could have been in your future. I know it's hard to imagine it now, but please try. Think of having good and sincere friendships, sharing delicious meals while having nice conversations with people you like, walking in nature early morning, or just having your own pet getting excited to see you. Think of painting Neal. The movements of your brushes. I'm not talking about anything fancy here, Neal. But think of healing, think of accomplishing small steps one by one. Working hard for something you value and just going back to a place you call home. And think of all the skills and talents that are just unique to you and how you can add more beauty to this world. Think of all of it, Neal. I know I'm not good at this, but I just want you to know you shouldn't let yourself miss on what's coming. Yes, there would be more sadness and pain to follow for sure. But sometimes, feeling that pain, is the best thing to know that you are alive and breathing…"

Neal was trying not to get lost in the picture that Peter was drawing for him. But it was getting harder. This was Peter, a man with who he trusted his life. He was honest and honorable. So, could he just let himself believe his words a little? Only a little?

"You are not supposed to feel great now. God, No!" Peter continued: "I just want you to keep in mind that it could be better. There are so many possibilities for you to reach. If you are going to that much length to take your life…" Peter couldn't help the shakes in his voice anymore… "Just try to do the same for living your life. It would be damn hard but It's damn worth it. I want you to know that. And I want you to know that I am here and I care. I do care Neal even it is hard for me to show it sometimes. But of course, I care about you and your wellbeing!"

Neal felt the pillowcase had become wet from his tears but he couldn't stop. Crying felt good. He felt like something heavy was being removed from his chest with each sob. Suddenly, he noticed that Peter has stopped talking and had bent towards him. Trying to hug him the best way you could hug someone for the first time. They stayed like that for a while, he knew Peter was talking to him gently again. He couldn't distinguish the words, but the tone was enough to placate him somehow. Then Peter brought him the tissues and he tried to get himself back together.

"I'm sorry …" He said with a shaking voice. "I was in a dark place and this was the only way that I could see an out. I just couldn't imagine my future without Kate anymore. She was my future. My hope in the darkness. She was all of it for me. Losing her was like losing myself without actually dying. And now, I just feel tired to imagine a new future without her alongside me. I'm just so tired, Peter." With that, Neal thought he had said it all and tried to look away from Peter's gaze again.

"Neal, look at me please," Peter said holding his hand again while patiently waiting for him to look back. When Neal did after a few moments, he continued: "You don't have anything to be sorry about. I understand when you say it is hard to come up with a new perspective soon after her death. But Neal, you always said you trusted me, right?" Neal hesitantly nodded his head again; not sure what Peter was going with this.

"Then trust me one more time. Just temporarily, just this once. Let me help you with the next few months only, till you can see your future for yourself. Let me picture it for you. Can you do that?"

"I'm not sure what you are talking about Peter but I trust you. That hasn't changed." Neal said unsure of what he is agreeing to. But when he saw the relief on Peter's face, he knew he said the right thing.

"Good, that sounds good. Neal, I've been talking to my boss and some other people for the past few hours. I proposed a plan to them. You know how you have your remaining sentence and what's going to be added to it considering your escape? Well, I talked to them about releasing you into my custody to be an official CI for the white collar division. For me." Peter was feeling much more nervous at this point and looking at Neal's face for any hint of reaction. But it was blank. So, he continued in a rush. Desperately needed Neal to know that this could work. "It has been done before, you know? For the remainder of your sentence, you would have a monitoring anklet and an assigned radius when you are not working in the office. Then, you would help us solve the cases that we've been stuck with! You get to be part of my team and work with Diana and Jones whom you probably remember from the past."

"I know this might sound a lot to consider now, but I just want you to see there are still paths for you to choose. At least, till you come up with your own. I just NEED you to know that. And well, I would like to have you as a partner even though I will deny this later if you ask me in front of anyone."

Neal chuckled at Peter's lame try to make a joke. But it was ok. It Sounded right. Like the world wasn't falling apart and there were still a few columns standing. Could he do this? It sounded too good to be true, but it was Peter. He wouldn't give him hope to just take it away later. He trusted him. He just didn't trust himself to be able to do this. Could he be as useful as Peter thought he would be? Solving crimes? Being on the good side while feeling the rush of running the cons? He wanted that. For the first time since Kate's death, he thought he could picture himself doing that. He just had to say yes. But before he could say anything, Peter said:

"You don't have to answer this now. I'm going to leave these papers here for you to go through them carefully. Just let me know when you have your answer. But Neal, agreeing to this or not, I am going to be there for you. Even if it means coming here every week to visit you for the next few years." With that, Peter stood to leave and the only thing Neal could manage to say, with the lump in his throat, was: "Thanks, Peter."

After Peter left, he looked at the papers for a few long minutes and then with a deep breath, reached to grab them.

A month later…

Peter was patiently leaning against his car when the gate opened and Neal appeared in front of him.

"Let me see it." Peter said.

While smiling, Neal pulled up his trouser a little for Peter to see the anklet. "Happy now? Hi, Peter! It's nice to see you, too!" Neal said playfully.

Peter felt a warmth in his chest after hearing Neal's playful voice. It's been a long time since he heard it last. Only he knew how scared he was thinking Neal wouldn't agree to this. When he got the signed papers by Neal in the mail a week after his visit, he saw a blue sticker note on top with Neal's handwriting saying: "If I agree to this, you know you are supposed to buy me coffee every morning, right? No one has ever said anything good about the FBI coffee, Peter!" And with that note, it was like Peter could breathe again. Like everything was good in the world. At least, Peter's world.

He snapped out of his thoughts when Neal got closer to him. They hugged each other awkwardly when Neal quietly said "Thank you".

He just nodded at him and said "Your welcome."

They got to the car and drove out of the prison. If someone would listen closely, they could hear Neal saying "Peter, about my radius, do you think we could work something out? Like an extra mile or two for the weekends? I have a few other suggestions too…", followed by Peter saying "Neeeeeal!".