Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Harry Potter or his magical world. Not even a toe or an elbow.
The Benighted and the Oblivious:
Chapter 1: Memory of an Oh-so-Unhappy Time
The soft whispers of voices sounded throughout the library. It was a typical day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Students studied diligently—well that it to say that they studied a bit, for all work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy. Our slacker, though, was not a boy. In the corner of the library sat a girl absorbed in doodling in a notebook.
The girl looked to be about thirteen. Her long, electric blue hair was pulled into pigtails, which earned her a look of daggers from the librarian. She knew that her eccentricity offended Madam Pince, but frankly, to Nymphadora Tonks, that was all the better.
With a smirk Nymphdora, whom objected to being called anything besides Tonks, turned the page of her notebook to start on a new doodle. She knew she was being childish and that he would never notice her, but she still insisted on writing a certain seventh-year's name surrounded by pink hearts.
She smiled as she pictured his perfect, charming smile and his wavy blonde hair. He was looked at with affection by most of the female population. Tonks didn't like "hopping on the bandwagon" so to speak. She could not help it though; he was pretty. Hence, she had had perpetual crush on him since her first year.
Giggling sounded from the library entrance and became louder as it approached the table that Tonks was sitting at. It was him. Tonks almost melted on the spot, but then she almost let out disappointed groan. He was surrounded by the usual gaggle of giggling girls. Tonks hated them with their shrill laughs and cheap conversation.
"Oh, Gilderoy," one, whom Tonks believed was called Tiffany. "You are so funny," she said batting him on the arm. Tonks scowled, turning away from the throng.
"I know. I am almost as charming as my smile," said Gilderoy flashing his teeth at Tiffany so that she swooned.
Okay, so he was not the most intellectually bright crayon in the box and if his ego got any bigger he might explode, but Tonks still couldn't help her crush on him. She set down her notebook and started to read a novel, hoping to distract herself. It worked for a while, but then when one girl, a particularly promiscuous one by the name of Linda, started making advances, Tonks became quite irritated and stormed out of the library.
She was almost to her dormitory when she realized that she had left her notebook in the library. Her notebook was a diary to her. She ran to get it, knowing that one of members of the giggling gaggle of girls would not be able to keep her mitts off of it.
She arrived disheveled and out of breath. She approached the table slowly. There were people crowed around it craning their neck over something.
"It really isn't my fault I like him. There is just something about him. I imagine that he smells like vanilla, something sweet and addicting…"
There was a laugh from the crowd as Tiffany read from a notebook. "He'll never notice me though. He is breathtaking and I am just clumsy Nymphadora Tonks…"
"Oh, it gets better!" said another girl, Cathy, who was reading it with Tiffany. "She wrote his name in pink hearts!"
Tonks was bright red by now and slowly backed away before anyone noticed her. She was angry and embarrassed.
She then heard a voice she recognized: his voice. "Who is Nymphadora Tonks?" he asked.
"Oh, just some clumsy, pathetic, third-year. You know, the one with blue hair who can't walk a meter without tripping. She is so pathetic that she can't even go two minutes without breaking something," said Linda.
"I think she is so clumsy on purpose, you know, just to get attention. I heard that her mother came from a respectable family, but she ending up shaming the family by marrying a Muggle. Apparently she got herself killed; I am guessing by her own stupidity, judging by Nymphadora Tonks," added Cathy.
Tonks, already being distressed, felt tears forming in her eyes. She wanted to go rip her notebook out of those girls' hands and punch their lights out. Yet, she found that she could not.
"And she is right behind you," said a seventh year boy.
The whole congregation turned to see a red-faced, Tonks with tears running down her face. Tonks hadn't expected them to notice her. She turned and ran as fast as she could out of the library. She turned corner when…CRASH!
Tonks woke up to a crash sounding from her kitchen. She blindly stumbled out of bed, barely making it into the kitchen without doing a face plant. It took her a minute for her sight to cease being blurry.
Her cat had knocked over her fern again. She could tell from the feel of the warm soil under her feet. She'd clean it up tomorrow. What was important that moment was coffee…lots of coffee.
Tonks had just put her kettle on the range when she looked at the clock. Damn. She was late. Tonks ran as fast as she could to her bedroom. Well, at least she tried to; she ended up tripping over her the broken fern pot. So much for a good start to the week. As always, Monday started off with the promise of horror.
Tonks dressed quickly and apparated to the Ministry of Magic. She was surprised that she didn't splinch herself, since she was still partially asleep. She stumbled down to the Auror Department just to be greeted by a grim-faced Alastor Moody.
"Your late," he stated with is magical eye scanning her.
"Am I?" feigned Tonks with wonder.
"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?"
"One-thousand two-hundred thirty-nine. What is the recipe of your favorite drink?"
"Two cups guava juice, three ounces Ogden's Firewhisky, one ounce orange juice and a tablespoon of mugwamp powder."
Tonks raised her eyebrows. "What about the armadillo bile?"
There was a surprised look on Mad-Eye Moody's face, but he covered it up quickly. "Oh yes, I forgot the most important part, armadillo bile."
It was only a second later that Mad-Eye was pinned to the floor with Tonks' wand sticking into his neck. "Nice try, Kingsley," said Tonks with a smirk.
The real Mad-Eye Moody strolled in from his old office. "That's right. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" he roared. "If it had been a Death Eater instead of Kingsley, over half of the Aurors would be dead, so Tonks, if you would explain to everyone how you knew?"
Tonks grinned. "First, I never told you, Mad-Eye, how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop. Second, there is not any armadillo bile in your favorite drink and it is guava nectar, not guava juice."
"Right! Now all of you," said Mad-Eye, staring menacingly at those who failed the test, "had better take note of this. We are in a war. One mistake can reveal someone, so be conscious and weary. Again, constant vigilance!"
Tonks helped Kingsley up as he changed back into his usual form. "So, what is on the agenda for today?"
"New assignments," said Kingsley with his deep voice. "I reviewed them, and I have to say, you are not going to like yours much."
"It's not negotiating with goblins again is it? If it is, I'll have to switch because they do not trust me. They don't like Metamorphmaguses, apparently," said Tonks. She was sure this was true. When the goblins became aware that she could change her appearance at will, they became even more cold and distant. After a while, they became absolutely disagreeable and hardheaded.
"No, but you still won't like it. That is why Dwalish and Mad-Eye left me to talk to you about it," said Kingsley, looking slightly nervous.
"What is it?" said Tonks, eying Kingsley with a glare.
"Remember how all the patients at St. Mungo's were sent into private homes when it was destroyed? Well, one patient was found to be a target of Death Eaters. He knows some things that we definitely do not want falling into the hands of You-Know-Who, so the Order asked us to put him in the home of an Auror. You were selected for the job."
"You're right, I don't like it, but you made it sound like it was something I would be upset about! That's not that bad. Who is it?"
"That's the part I didn't think you would be fond of…" trailed Kingsley.
"Who is it?"
"Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart."
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A/N: Well, I wasn't planning on posting this yet, but I got post happy. I have no true direction of this story as of yet and it may take some time for me to write and post the next chapter.Yet, I do assure you that, unless I change my mind, this will have a strange ship that I have never seen before. I feel like a pioneer!Thank you for reading!
---Perplexity