Time Turned Fragile

These are the things I think about

When I'm alone without you

"Hyde, have you seen Jackie?"

There were a variety of ways he could have answered Donna's question. The most prominent in his mind was Sure, last night. She was naked. It was awesome. Thankfully, his Zen skills kept that thought at bay and allowed him to come up with a more noncommittal, "Not since yesterday. Why, what's up?"

"Well, she's got another date tonight and she roped me into going shopping for an outfit with her this afternoon." Donna frowned and took a seat on the couch. "But now I can't find her anywhere."

Another date tonight. The words echoed in his ears, making his head hurt. The thought of Jackie seeing someone else, batting her lashes at them, laying her hands on their arm, set his blood boiling. He didn't want her seeing anyone else. She belonged with him.

Oh, where? his conscience scoffed at him. Hidden in the closet when your wife comes home? If you're allowed to be married, she can certainly see other people. Unless you're gonna be a hypocrite about it.

"Another date, huh?" He cleared his throat, wishing he could clear his head as easily. "Fez mentioned she's been doing that a lot lately."

Before he could continue, Donna threw up a hand. "Oh, no, you don't, stop right there, mister."

"What? What'd I do?"

"Do not start bashing Jackie in front of me, okay? It's perfectly natural for her to be dating again and I completely support it. She's trying to get over you and doing the best she can, ya got that?"

"She's, uh, trying to get over me?" Yeah, well, right back atcha, he thought, wondering if she was finding it as difficult as he was. "She said that?"

"Well, honestly, Hyde, you didn't really expect her to wait around for you to get your act together, did you? And give you, what, a seventy-fifth chance to step up and do the right thing?" Donna rolled her eyes. "You men all think that somehow, women's lives should revolve around you. Ugh. Pigs."

"We're sorry," Hyde said faux-contritely, and ducked when she lobbed a magazine at his head. "Hey, alright, I surrender! Listen. Why don't I give you a lift to the mall and you can see if she decided to make it a solo mission. I'll even help you look."

Donna's brows knitted together. "Are you serious?"

Hyde shrugged, feigning indifference. "I've got nothing else to do. 'Sides, I feel bad for the poor mall workers. The sooner you get Jackie under control, the better. I know how she can be."

He knew she could be shallow, and carelessly cruel, and obnoxious enough to make a person seriously consider homicide. He knew exactly what any stranger saw when they looked at her – a spoiled little rich girl who was used to getting all the attention and just assumed everyone else in the world existed solely to give it.

But he also knew shat she could be impossibly sweet, unexpectedly clever, and unduly insecure. He knew that she bit her lip when she got nervous and twirled her hair when bored. He knew she kept her skin so soft by applying lotion twice a day and that her ribs were ticklish and all the places to kiss that would make her break apart in his hands.

Most of all, he knew they needed to talk about what had happened between them last night. And he knew she would avoid him for as long as humanly possibly, so it was up to him to make the first move.

XXX

Hyde and Donna split up at the mall's entrance, Donna graciously offering to search the stores if Hyde just kept an eye out in the food court and the record store he was sure to wander into. After arranging to meet back at the El Camino in thirty minutes, their search commenced.

"Okay," Hyde coached himself, glancing around at the mall's daunting enormity. "If I were Jackie, where would I be?"

The obvious answer was the jewelry store. Jackie loved anything sparkly and expensive and her collection of necklaces, bracelets, and other useless baubles was astonishing. But on second thought, it wasn't something she'd ever buy herself, especially now that she was working and on a tight budget.

Which is how he ended up poking around in shop after shop, carefully avoiding the racks of merchandise. He felt extremely out of his element and a little ridiculous, knowing that customers and salespeople alike were staring at him strangle. He wasn't sure why he was always so willing to humiliate himself for her, but he'd grown used to it by now. Only for Jackie, he told himself grimly and, as if thinking her name had willed her into being, he spotted her bent over a jewelry case in the next store.

"Shoulda gone with the gut," he groaned aloud, thinking of all the other places he'd checked already, and hurried into the store before she could get away again.

XXX

Jackie didn't have many places to go when she wanted to be alone. Her own home was long gone, she shared a bedroom with Donna, the basement was like freaking Grand Central Station. So for as long as she could remember, when she'd had some serious thinking to do, she'd come to the mall.

It wasn't about the clothes – although she loved them, sure, what girl in her right mind didn't? It was about the solitude. There was an unwritten law that you didn't bother people while they shopped, just ignored their existence and went about your own business.

Today, she was taking the time to reconsider where she stood in her mission to get over Hyde. She'd thought she was doing okay – dating other people was the logical first step and she'd been doing that religiously. So what if she still moved away when they went in for the goodnight kiss? Some of them just weren't up to her standards.

But if she was being honest with herself, she could admit her adversity to sealing the deal wasn't all wrapped up in them. It was about her, too. And Hyde, of course. It felt like every decision she'd made in the past three years had involved him.

The thing was … she'd been taken to some of the town's finest restaurants in the past few weeks. She'd seen the newest movies, at her dates' expenses. Her office had been flooded with incoming bouquets and chocolates and When can I see you again? cards. And still, every time her doorbell rang, her heart had filled with the hope that Hyde would be on the other side with his divorce papers in hand and a declaration of love on his lips.

And she was always, always disappointed. Jackie frowned down at the case of wedding rings she was mulling over. Last time she'd been in this store, at this very display, she'd been filled with excitement. She'd been so sure that Steven was going to agree to get married. At the time, she'd thought they were going to be together forever.

Sleeping with him had to have been the dumbest mistake in her life. And she'd done a lot of dumb things. Hello, dating Michael Kelso for so long? Not her brightest moment. But last night definitely took the cake.

He was married. As in, man and wife. In sickness and health. 'Til death do they part. Not 'until he comes to his senses and sends the skank packing and comes crawling back for forgiveness'. Which wouldn't happen, anyway.

So she was now officially 'the other woman'. Granted, it was only one time (well, twice, but only one night) and it was not going to happen again, but those thoughts didn't ease her mind. She felt dirty. She felt … cheap.

You didn't do anything wrong, a voice in the back of her head argued. He was yours first. It was like reclaiming stolen property.

He's not your property anymore, another voice retorted. He's not yours at all. It was wrong.

"Hey, Jackie."

Without looking up, she knew exactly who was behind her. She could even picture him, hands stuffed into his pockets, shoulders hunched slightly because the mall's crowds made him uncomfortable. She turned slowly, trying to delay the inevitable.