Better Open the Door

I cannot let you inside my cell

For fear I'll sink this ship and drag us both down

She looked … scared, Hyde decided, when Jackie had finally turned around and he could get a good look at her. He didn't like that his presence put that look on her face, like she was waiting for Sam to jump out from behind him and start attacking her.

"H – Hyde." Jackie's lips twitched as she tried to force a smile. "Hi. What're you doing here?"

"I needed some earrings to match my outfit," he said dryly. She barely cracked a smile, but he pressed on. "Donna was looking for you, I guess you guys had plans. I offered to help."

"Oh!" Jackie's palms flew to her forehead. "I totally forgot! God, how stupid of me. Where is she?"

Hyde gestured vaguely over his shoulder. "I have no idea. We split up to cover more ground. This place is huge, by the way. I stand almost no chance of making it back to the car."

"You get used to it. Come on, we should find her." Moving past him to lead the way, Jackie made her second mistake in two days. She touched him.

It was only a light touch, nothing like the grasping and clutching she'd done last night. They'd touched a thousand times more intimately in their years of dating and still, the familiar feel of his worn leather jacket beneath her fingertips stopped her in her tracks.

Touching him was like second nature to her, Jackie realized. It was just something she did. During all the time they'd dated, there'd hardly been an instance when they were more than arm's length apart. She sat on his lap or he slung an arm casually around her shoulder or they stood so close that their thighs brushed and he tucked two fingers in her back pocket.

And now, although it still came so easily, it was forbidden. She didn't get to have that level of comfort with him anymore. It was a sobering concept. There would be meals at the Forman's during which she wouldn't rest her feet on his lap beneath the table, hours of television in the basement they wouldn't spend snarking at each other, night after endless night without him walking her home and holding her close just a moment longer than necessary.

"Jackie? You okay?"

Hyde's voice, lowered in concern, snapped her back to reality. "I – I'm sorry," she mumbled, letting her hand drop away from his sleeve as if it burned her. "I can't do this."

"Do what? Jackie, what're you talking about?" He tried to grab her wrist but she twisted out of reach and hurried away. "Jackie, come back!"

She disappeared in the crowd of early morning shoppers. Hyde growled, raking a hand through his curls. Way to be, Hyde, he congratulated himself. Find her and lose her all over again. He couldn't get over how shaken she'd looked, like a deer caught in the headlights. He hated seeing her so troubled and not being able to do anything to help.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Ah … me?" Hyde turned to face the salesman – James, his nametag proclaimed - who seemed to be trying to get his attention. "What's up, man?"

James offered him a small velvet box. Hyde bit back the 'no, thanks, I'm taken' joke the situation begged for and simply popped the case open. An engagement ring sparkled up at him, the diamond dazzling as it caught and reflected the light. "Uh … I do?" he tried, unsure of what the other man was getting at.

"Your fiancée asked to see this one," James explained, looking around for Jackie. "Is she still interested or did she find something else?"

"My fiancée … oh." Understanding dawned, prompting Hyde to take a closer look at what he held in his hands. A single diamond, smaller in size than he would have expected, gleamed in the middle of a delicate silver band. "She's not my fiancée."

"Oh. Right, then. Whoever it is, he's one lucky man," James commented as he withdrew the jewel from Hyde's hands and set it back in its case. "Beautiful girl. Seemed sad, though."

"Yeah." Hyde stared thoughtfully in the direction Jackie had gone. "She did, didn't she?"

XXX

Donna was about to cut her losses, grab a pretzel, and head home. Trying to find Jackie in a mall was like looking for a needle in an extremely large, crowded haystack. Every shopper looked the same to her, faceless and fast-paced, balancing their purses and purchases and navigating their obstacles with a deft skill she was a little jealous of.

She was seconds away from throwing in the towel when a commotion near the dressing rooms in grabbed her attention. A small throng of people had gathered, including a security guard who stood slightly back and was murmuring into his walkie-talkie. Donna inched closer, wondering if they'd caught a shoplifter.

She was just about to ask the woman next to her for details when she heard Hyde's familiar voice demanding, "Just open the door, okay? There's a bunch of people watching out here, so don't make this any more difficult than it has to be."

"They wouldn't be watching if you hadn't started pounding on the door like a maniac!" Jackie shot back indignantly, safe behind the locked door of her changing stall. "Why don't you just go away and let me get back to my shopping?"

"Excuse me … excuse me, I know them," Donna explained patiently, working her way through the crowd to stand at Hyde's shoulder. "What're you doing?"

"I found her," Hyde said curtly, his gaze glued to the door. "And now she refuses to leave the dressing room."

"I'm not done shopping yet," Jackie piped up.

"She's trying to get back at me," Hyde told Donna, but his words were obviously meant for Jackie's ears. "She wants to humiliate me 'cause I married Sam instead of her."

It was a jackass thing to say, sure, but Hyde thought it had the most hope of being effective. If he wanted Jackie to come out and face him, hearts and flowers weren't going to do the trick. She was hurt and covering that hurt with anger and if he could just fuel the fire enough, he knew her indignation would outweigh her self-control and make her come out swinging.

"Someone needs to check their ego at the door," Jackie snapped back furiously. "I don't care what – or who – you do, Steven Hyde. It's your life and I don't want a part in it, so you can just leave me out of your delusions, thank you very much."

Jackie was absolutely fuming with anger. She'd gone to the dressing rooms intending to hide and maybe let her tears fall. To have Hyde follow her there and be even more of a jerk than she'd ever imagined was heartbreaking. There was no way she could tell him what she'd been thinking now. It was obvious any feelings she thought he harbored after last night were a product of her overactive imagination.

"Oh, my delusions? That's rich." He barked out a short laugh, hating to admit that the dig hurt. "I'm not the one mooning over engagement rings, Jackie. Tell me, did you finally find a big enough loser to sucker into marrying you?"

"Hyde!" Donna's eyes nearly bulged out of her skull. "Shut up! What are you trying to do?"

"I'd rather be married to a loser than a tramp," Jackie spat out. She just wanted him to go away … far, far away. If she could just keep her distance from him for the rest of her life, she might be okay. "Why don't you run along home to your wife, Hyde? I'm sure she can squeeze in a little time with you between her paying customers."

"Go. Hyde, go, seriously." Donna motioned the security guard over, desperate to keep the peace before the whole thing blew out of control. "We'll take a taxi home, please, Hyde, just leave before it gets worse. Go!"

He scuffled with the security guard, his entire body seething with the emotions Jackie brought to the surface, but was eventually escorted out. Donna immediately set about doing damage control, shooing the crowd away. "Okay, folks, show's over, nothing to see here, move along. Jackie?"

The door cracked open, allowing Donna a view of Jackie's pale, tear-streaked face. "Is he gone?" she whispered. Donna nodded. At the affirmation, Jackie let the door swing open as she slid down to the floor, utterly spent. "Oh, God, Donna, when is it going to stop hurting? Why do I still love him so damn much?"