He was floating again...
Into the darkness, past memories swarmed towards him. Filling him with pain and suffering...
His deaths...
His failures...
Torture, pain, and suffering...
He had it all...
Either in the hands of his allies or his enemies...
...
...
...
Betrayal.
Hurt.
Anger.
Distrust.
Hostility.
...
...
...
He had to overcame it with death in order to win them over...
...or to find the correct path to save all of them and triumph...
...
...
...
...
...
Suddenly, he can hear her again...
Her echoes of LOVE. All of it directed solely to him, and only to him...
Initially disgusted and feared it, it somewhat began to be a "norm" to him to listen to her words of affection to him...
He still remember the day when he finally met Satella. Oh how confused and scared he was to finally meet the entity that made his life a living hell...
...and the shock and anger he felt when she said to "love himself more"...
Like, what can he do other to die again and again in order to save them!?
...
...
...
...but it doesn't change the fact that without her "gift", he wouldn't save and achieved everything he had done so far...
...and it's a great disrespect to her to abuse it...then again, it's on him...
...besides, he's still human...dying still hurts and it breaks both his heart and sanity...
...and maybe, his friends do care if he dies or not...
And with that conclusion, he still choose to take her hand over the other witches, especially Echidna's...
...
...
...
...as he finally saw her face and heard her plea, something unfathomable welled up inside of him...
Warmth and determination.
...
"I promise, no matter what...I'm going to save you...
...
...
...
...
...as words of love kept on bouncing back at him, he finally decided to answer it...
...
...
...
I love you too, Satella...thank you for saving me...
...
...
...
.!.
...suddenly, he appeared in front of a small table. With two seats available. And with Satella sitting on one of them...
Of all the shocking things he had experienced in his tenure in this world, nothing can topped the sight he had in front of him now...
...
...
...Satella was crying. Her hands were shaking as so is her figure. She was looking at him with a shocked expression, clearly in disbelief on what he said...
"Did you...did you just...?"
"Yes, I did said it. I love you Satella. And thank you so much for loving me and saving me from time to time." he reaffirmed his stance as the raven-haired boy gazed over the silver-haired half-elf—who was an emotional mess at this point...
"Have your...memories retu-"
"No. Honestly, I don't even have the slightest clue as to why you love me in the first place either..."
"..."
"...but it doesn't changed the fact that without Return by Death, I would have died earlier and it would have been just that..."
"But I took you away from your family! I made your life a living hell because of my gift...You even did self-harm because of the accumulated trauma!"
"Yes, all is true...and I know that you have other facts as well to add it as well..."
"So why...why did you say those words!? What made you thought to even think of those words!?"
...
...
...
It was ironic. Satella longed to hear her beloved say those exact words to her. To finally be loved by him. To have those 400 years of loneliness be erased and be worth it...
But she's afraid...that he's only forced to do it or be manipulated to say those words...
...at that would hurt her even more...
...
...
...
Subaru gazed at the witch with warm and kind eyes. If you told him that he'll have that look on the literal "devil" of the world, he would have called them crazy and ignore them...
With a sigh, he slowly approach Satella and with each step, he continued:
"It doesn't changed the fact that despite everything, you still loved me..."
...
"Even when I disregard you and was disgusted, you still loved me..."
...
"If we're being honest, you,'re the only person that stayed with me everytime I returned by death..."
...
"...so in a way, you're always by my side...despite me loathing it initially..."
...
"So, why would I hate somebody that has been with me from day one...no..day zero?"
...
"Please, don't worry...I'm not brainwashed or anything...I really meant what I said earlier..."
...
"You helped me more than anyone that I have or will have meet in my life...so why would I hate that person?"
...
"Why would I hate the only person that's there for me?"
...
"Why would I hate the person that loves me?"
...
...
...
As he finally stood face to face with her, he cupped her cheek with his hand and wipe her tears with his thumb. As much she wants to resist it, her blush betrayed her as she grew redder by the second.
She couldn't...she doesn't deserve any of this...
...
...
...
"Thank you for saving me, Satella. I love you..."
...
...
...
"But...you love Emilia..."
"I know, but despite everything I have done for her, she still hasn't given me an answer...So why wait in something that might be nothing in the end?"
" You love Rem...and she loves you too..."
"I know...and I know that she murdered and tortured me for hours...I know that she's not the same person, but it doesn't change the fact that I've lived that loop...also, she's not the same person anymore since her memories are gone..."
"But..but I'm a MONSTER! I'm the Witch of Envy for crying out loud! People branded you as a witch cultist because of my miasma! I have caused you more pain than anybody!"
"I can't deny that...but with how bad it was initially, because of your power, I have saved countless lives. Felt. The residents of the mansion. Arlam Village. Lugunica. Pristella. The Sanctuary. Those lives outweigh the stuff your gift penalizes me"
"But...but...you'll always be hurt and suffer...and...die..."
"Yes...but as long as I have you by my side and your love, I can have the strength and determination to keep move forward...It might be hard— hell, it is extremely hard— but I'll manage..."
...
...
..
"Why...why do you love me, Subaru?" Satella voiced put as her tears won't stop falling as conflicting emotions swirled in her being.
She wanted to accept his love...
But her doubts and self-loathing won't let her...
...
...
...
This was it. Either this connects or fails, he'll have no regrets laying his heart out. The nasty-eyed knight took a step back and presented himself in front of Satella...
...
...
...
You...you gave me everything," he smiled. " I love you — because you gave me light. My life from my original world was a dull and lifeless one — being afraid to move forward and always living in the shadow of my father. It was you, Satella, who took me by the hand and showed me the world outside—even though said world is really different and I died here and there."
"In the nights when I was lonely and afraid, you held my hand—and at times my heart. When I died, you always shower me with affection even though I returned it with disgust."
"And because of you, I met so many amazing people that helped me become the person standing in front of you. You never intervene any of my decisions in order for me to learn from my mistakes and grow as a person, both mentally and emotionally..."
"Yes, you say that Return by Death is a curse, but with that 'curse', I'm blessed with so many things: friends, loved ones, and a place I can mature and grow.."
"You gave me everything, Satella...that's why I love you..."
...
...
...
"...and if you disagree, dodge..."
...
...
...
...and with that, in the middle of the endless void of darkness, Subaru's lips met Satella's—as both shared a kiss at the shadow garden...
Author's note:
Finally a Satella one. Really itching to write one for my love for her.
This is a rushed thing, so I apologize for the fast pacing and grammar issues. Was really motivated to write Satella because she is love :)
I'm still on hiatus, real life has been hard and I'm coping it by doing it one step at the time...and expressing it in writing.
Thank you so much for supporting me. I hope you enjoy reading it. Please leave a comment to let me know your thoughts on it.
See you on the next story. Take care.