Chapter 8

After a good thirty minutes of complete silence and stillness, Paige whispered, "Are you still awake?"

"Yeah."

"I can't sleep."

"Me either."

Paige rolled over. "Do you want to…talk?"

"About what?"

"I don't know. Stuff. Girlfriend, boyfriend stuff. Or girlfriend, girlfriend stuff, as fits our situation. You know, like, how was your day?"

"You do realize that you were there for most of it, right?"

"Yeah. But, there must be stuff you want to tell me about, right? Like, how do you think you did on the test?"

"Fine, I guess. I actually cracked open my book after you left last night." She'd felt then that it was the only way she could be with Paige, studying at the same time as her, but she would never admit that.

"I so failed that test. Honestly, I wasn't able to concentrate at all."

"I'm sure you did fine."

The conversation died down. Alex looked at Paige, but Paige could hardly maintain eye contact. She compromised, instead, by stroking the knuckle of Alex's hand "Did you like my outfit?"

"What?"

"What I wore to school today."

"You're not trying to impress me with your clothes, are you? Because I like you for more than what comes out of your closet."

"Oh, so you didn't like it?" Paige looked troubled.

"Paige, you looked good. You really did. And you usually do. Just don't start running your life based on what I like and don't like, because I don't like that."

Paige locked her jaw, her mind suddenly going through her past relationships, worrying about all the times she'd gone out of her way to please her boyfriends. Alex put her hand over Paige's.

"What else happened to you today?" she asked.

"Hazel says the girls are going to go all Mutiny on the Bounty on me soon."

"What do you mean?"

"They're going to try and kick me off the squad."

"Oh. What are you going to do about it?"

"Not sure yet. But I think it will involve lots of groveling."

"Ass kissing?"

"Yeah."

"Think you can manage that?"

"If I want to keep the squad, I have to."

"Do you think it's because of us?"

"I don't know." She turned her palm right side up, locking her fingers with Alex's. "Speaking of us, I think I'm going to tell my parents tomorrow. We're meeting Dylan for lunch and I figure it's as good a time as any to break the news. I also thought, maybe you could join us. I kind of already told them you were coming."

"Were your parents cool about Dylan?" asked Alex after a moment's hesitation.

"It was a bit of a shock, but they came to pretty quickly."

"And you think they'll take this ok?"

"They're members of PFLAG…we all are actually…they're pretty accepting now."

"God, I don't think my mother would be so accepting. And Chad would probably try to beat the shit out of me if he found out," Alex said sadly.

"I guess you'll just have to spend the night here a lot."

"I guess so."

Quiet settled upon them again. Alex was clutching Paige's hand, her fingers struggling to touch the only part permissible. Her breathing was quick, coming out in short bursts. The agony of waiting for Paige to make a move was delightful, something she could only savor because she knew Paige was breaking. She was trembling and her eyes, though it was hard to see in the dark, were darting all over her face.

Finally she moved. It was only to the edge of her pillow, and not close enough for Alex, but it was something. She shifted again, but moved no closer.

"Babe," she whispered, "You've got to move closer to me or I'll end up pushing you off the bed."

Alex was happy to acquiesce, filling the void, causing their still clutched hands to be pressed between their breasts. Paige quickly pulled her hand away, but before Alex had much time to be upset about it, she began to brush her fingers along the planes of her face. It was a face she'd only allowed herself to study with her eyes, and even then, only surreptitiously.

"You're very beautiful, you know. You could be a model," Paige said.

"I doubt that. I'm too short and they'd make me get a nose job at the very least."

"I like your nose," she said, running a finger over it. "Better than mine."

"I don't think anyone likes their nose."

Paige laughed. "That was your cue to tell me how cute my nose is and how much you like it."

"I like you and your nose and you wouldn't look right with any other. How was that?"

"Better, but your sincerity could use a lot of work."

Alex propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at Paige, who tensed up, unsure of what was going on. "Paige Michalchuk," began Alex, in a voice much softer and warmer than she usually used, "I like you. I like the clothes you wear. I like how you ramble when you're nervous. I like how you roll your eyes when you're annoyed. I like how you walk through the halls as if you own the place. I like how you smell like lavender, and how your lips taste like strawberries. And, I love your nose." She tapped it gently with her finger. "Better?" she asked in a whisper.

Paige nodded, unable to speak. They stared at each other a while, one afraid to move, the other sticking to her hands-off promise. Alex gave up first, laying her head back on her pillow, but still close enough for Paige to kiss her if she chose. She didn't have long to wait now. Paige cautiously filled in the slight gap between their faces, their lips meeting in a chaste kiss. Mouths soon opened and tongues came into play. Hands reached out to pull faces closer, fingers grew entangled in hair, breaking free only to grasp necks and shoulders.

After a few intense minutes, Paige pulled away, breathless. "Every time I kiss you, I feel butterflies in my stomach. I…I like that."

"Same for me."

"I hope that never goes away."

"Yeah."

They tentatively continued to touch one another, on the face and arms and shoulders, almost as if to reassure themselves that they were both still there, that everything was real, but Paige soon yawned. "We should try and sleep." She turned to look at her clock. "It's almost two."

Alex put her arm around Paige's waist and snuggled into her pillow. Paige followed her lead and they readjusted themselves until their bodies were touching. Alex, quite satisfied, closed her eyes.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"This is nice. And I'm happy for it. I'm happy that it happened."

"Me too."

They shared one more kiss before falling asleep.