Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Disclaimer: Maybe if I bribe and or black mail Teen Titans owner I could claim legal rights to them

Also I do not own the songs

Well, I couldn't help but update now I mean really, even I want to know what happens next, sometimes I just think of stuff off the top of my head.

Ah I'm really glad you guys and or girls love this story.

Thanks To those Who Reviewed:

Watergoddess08: no I don't think your review was school teacherish, that's how I like them, they tell me what I did wrong but they still compliment the story, so thanks.

Peppertip: well, I'm glad you like it; I hope you get around to reading my other chapters.

Tecna: ah Tecna, yes I do give you permission to kill Richard, but don't kill Kori, I'm growing a soft spot for her, also I've been feeling bad because that's not Kori's true personality. And I don't mind if it was late, I'm just happy you reviewed.

And The Moment You've All Been Waiting For:

Chapter 10: Should I Stay or Should I Go

Raven's P.O.V.

It's been a week. I'm still in the hospital, and I'm hungry. I refuse to eat anything at the hospital, so I'm here waiting for Nieve to come, she said she would bring me something to eat; she didn't want me to starve to death.

I lay back and pick up a book. It's the only way to distract myself, from thinking about my child.

"Hey Raven can I talk to you for a moment?" asked my doctor, Dr. Roque. She had just walked in.

"Um sure" I responded.

"Well, as you know, you had a miscarriage, and so that means your daughter had died, from all the severe blows to the stomach. I am sorry, I know you would have made a great mother."

"It's ok"

I still haven't cried, and I don't plan too. I have to be strong not only for me, but for Jinx and Nieve, my child's death had hit them hard.

"Raven I know you've always been a strong woman, but it's okay to cry"

"I'm not going to cry"

"Raven, it's better to let it all out"

"No, I'm not weak, I won't cry"

"Fine Raven but remember it's okay to cry, well, after you came into the hospital, we had to remove the baby by making an incision on your abdomen. We then had to stitch you back up. The stitches will leave a mark. You can go home today and you can go to school tomorrow. But listen I want you to be careful, do not strain yourself, and do not lift heavy objects."

I thought this over. I didn't even think about going back to school. I don't care what people think of me. I'll just walk like nothing ever happened.

Then, something else struck my mind. Would I be able to have a baby again? I really do want to be a mother.

Before Dr. Roque left I asked her a question.

"Dr. Roque will I be able to have children?"

"Lets see Raven, you have a forty percent chance of having a baby, but I want you to wait a couple of years, like maybe two years."

"Ok thank you"

"Oh wait Raven what would you have named, your daughter?"

I never thought of a name for her. Suddenly, an emotional tidal wave came over me. I started to cry. It's something I haven't done in over ten years.

Dr. Roque quickly came over to me and hugged me. She knew the pain I was going through, for she had lost a child too. She tried to calm me down. But she couldn't I was releasing years of tension, hurt, sorrow, and anger. When I was done she stroked my hair telling me everything would be all right.

After my emotional rollercoaster, I had fallen asleep. An hour later Jinx and Ally awaked me. They had clothes and food. They wanted me to eat first.

"Raven, you can finally come home, it's been really quite" said an excited Jinx

"Jinx even when I am home it's still quiet" but I knew it was her way of telling me she missed me.

"I missed you to Raven"

"I was bored and yes I missed you two also."

"Raven, your doctor told us to be careful with our wording, why"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Alright" said Jinx.

I was done eating in twenty minutes. I didn't have to shower because I had taken a shower earlier. I put on my clothes and I checked out of the hospital. Apparently Jinx had drove my car her, I didn't mind, she has to get around too.

Ally offered to sit in the back, but I told I would sit in the back.

When we got home, I started to feel better. Hospitals always have a way of making me feel weird. I saw Nieve sitting on the couch watching TV. When she turned around, you could see her eyes brighten up. She then hugged me very tightly, but not too tight in fear of hurting me.

"Oh Raven you're home, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too Nieve"

The rest of the day was uneventful. When nighttime came around I did what I usually did. I took a shower, brushed my hair, and went to sleep. Except before I got in the shower, I looked down at my stomach and then at the stitches. From any one else's view they could definitely say they didn't belong there.

At ten I fell asleep.

At six O' clock I woke up. I did my usual morning routine, like nothing had happened. I didn't bother with a wig or contacts today and never again will I. When I was ready to go, I got a feeling of dread in my stomach, I didn't want to go to school, but Nieve said it would be better this way.

Jinx got in the car. There was an eerie silence between Jinx and I. She then broke it. I already knew what she was going to say.

"Aiden, how are you going to face everybody, and Nieve nor I have had the heart to tell your mom what happened"

"Jinx first I really don't care what any one thinks of me, as long as I'm comfortable with myself, I'm okay, and I don't know how to tell my mom, I might tell her on the weekend, that's like three days away."

"Well, Raven, just know I'm behind you all they way and I want you to know I admire you, for your strength, not many women could go through that and not cry"

"Thanks Jinx"

The rest of the way to school was silent. When we finally get there I see some people's shocked faces as they see my car pull into the parking lot. Jinx gets her book bog and so do I. We start walking, when I feel some one hug me and lift me up.

"Dark girl, you're finally back, you know I missed you right" said Viktor.

He finally put me down.

"Hey Vik, and please don't pick me up"

"Why, you never mind when I've picked you up before"

"This is why" I then lifted my shirt only a little bit so he could see the stitches.

"Oh he's going to pay, no one hurts my little sister"

"No Vik"

It was too late because Viktor had already run off to find Richard. I ran after him. I saw him turn a corner, and I heard yelling. I didn't want to round a corner, but I did any way.

Viktor had a fistful of Richard's shirt.

"Rich, I hate you, you hurt my little sister, don't you know you don't hit girls"

"What the hell are you talking about Vik you don't have a little sister"

Richard then looked at me. I immediately looked down avoiding his gaze.

In a low voice I said "Viktor stop, stop it and leave him alone"

"No Rae, he hurt you, he has to pay"

"No, Vik please stop"

"Rae why are you sticking up for him"

He let go of Richard, and lifted my shirt a little.

"Rae that's what he did to you, he scarred your body, you don't deserve that"

"Vik, just please stop" waving my hand, and speaking in the softest voice he's ever heard.

"Fine Rae, come on so I can walk you to your locker"

I didn't say anything. I just followed him, still avoiding Richard's gaze.

The rest of the day, people just gave me stares, some of sympathy, so of sorrow, and some of pity. Even Kori gave me a look of sympathy. Being at school was still awkward, with Richard being there.

The rest of the week was like that. It's now Saturday and I have nothing to do. I just decide to lie down. Richard wouldn't even look at me. And when he did it would be with so much spite, hate, and anger. It was April already, and I can't go three more months of this. I don't know what do to. I thought I would be able to do this. And I still hadn't told my mom.

I then heard the phone ring. I picked it up, with out looking at the caller id.

"Hello"

"Ah Raven, how are you?" I instantly knew it was my father's voice.

"I'm fine dad"

"And how's the little one"

"She's just fine"

I had never lied to my father.

"Oh good, your mother said hi and she loves you"

"I send her my love too"

"And Raven your birthday is coming"

"Yes I know father and that means ruler, well I'm not going to be ruler"

"Raven just think this over, please"

"Fine, bye"

I hung up the phone.

My father told me to think it over. So I started to. Then it hit me. I could go back to Azarath, I know it will mean becoming ruler, but it would be better then being here were I don't feel right. I don't know yet.

The question is should I stay or should I go, go back to were you ask, back to Azarath.

I would have to talk to Jinx about it. I walked into the living room and found her on the couch.

"Jinx, you know how, I told you, things aren't normal any more, everything has changed and how I cant pretend it never happened."

"Yeah Aiden"

"Well, I think I might go back to Azarath"

"Really, it'll be good for you, a week in Azarath would do you good"

"No, I mean permanently"

"Wha, what, you can't go back, you know that means ruler"

"I know, but it's something I'm willing to do, Jinx, it's just that things won't ever be the same"

"Well, Aiden, just think it over, let me know by Wednesday"

"Alright"

I spent the rest of the weekend contemplating. And I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. During the week, things were getting more and more difficult. I had made my decision. I would go back to Azarath and be it's ruler.

When I told Jinx got very upset, but she understood.

"Jinx don't worry you can always come in the summer"

"I know but things wont be the same"

"I know, but it's better for everyone"

She went off saying she had to make a phone call.

I had told Nieve and she was upset, but was also fine with it.

The next day at school, I see fliers saying Going Away Party at Vik's house On Friday. I guess that was the phone call Jinx had to make. I usually don't go to parties but since it is for me I'll go.

On Friday afternoon, I spent the time thinking and packing. I would be leaving first thing in the morning. I was thinking about my child. I had thought of her name. Her name would have been Raiden Jade Nightingale Grayson-Roth. Raiden would be for Aiden with an r in front of it, Jade would be for my alter ego, and Nightingale for the memory of my sister and her aunt. I do hope her soul rests in peace, and has been reincarnated. In Azarath we believe every soul is reincarnated.

People believe I am the reincarnation of Azar, our female God whom we worship. Monks say I look just like her except my eyes are darker.

When I was done packing I went to go get ready.

At seven o'clock I was ready, so was Jinx and Ally, whom we started calling Arsenal.

By eight we were at Vik's house, I was really thankful; he was throwing this for me. Once I walked in the door, the loud music stopped and every one looked at me.

"Look everyone, its Raven" Said Viktor.

The party lasted for hours. Everyone from the senior class was there, everyone except for Richard.

Gar and Terra came up to me. I knew it wasn't to tease me.

"Hey Raven, hey Rae." They both said to me.

"Hi" I said back.

"You know Raven we are sorry for being so mean to you" Said Gar

"Yeah we really are" Said Terra

"I know you never meant to hurt me, after all Gar you were my boyfriend in the sixth grade, you know I still have all those valentines day cards you gave me and Gar you were the first to give me a kiss on the cheek."

"Yeah I remember; he, he" Gar then blushed

"And Terra we use to be friends I know you didn't hate me"

They then gave me hugs.

"You know Rae things wont be the same around here"

"I know, but it's for the best"

"Bye Raven, we hope to see you again"

"Same here"

The next person who came up to me was some I didn't suspect would.

She tapped me on my shoulder and I turned around.

"Hi Raven" said Kori

"Hi Kori" I said awkwardly.

"I want to tell you I'm sorry, for everything I've done to you over the years, I know I've been a bad person, but I want you to forgive me"

I didn't want to forgive her, but I saw her eyes and I knew they held real sorrow, and they were pleading for forgiveness. Azar always did say to forgive.

"Kori I forgive you"

"Oh thank you Raven, oh I have something for you"

"What is it"

"Here"

She then pulled out my amethyst stone necklace. It looked good as new.

"Raven, I felt for breaking it so I had it fixed up for you, I'm sorry."

"It's okay Kori, but why did you break it, why did it bother you so much?"

"Well, when I was little I had a best friend, whom had the same shade of color of the stone, it was their eye color, it just irked me, because I knew I cause the girl pain"

I hugged Kori, it's something I usually wouldn't do, but I had to.

"Raven why are you hugging me?"

"Kori what was the little girl's name?"

"I believe her name was Raven"

"Do you think I died my hair purple, and put contacts in my eyes"

"Raven is it you?"

"Yeah, it's me"

"Oh Raven I am sorry, it's just I didn't recognize you and"

"It's okay Kori, I have forgiven, you"

"So, you're going back to Azarath, why?"

"Because I don't belong here, in America, my time here has past its expiration date"

"Well, Raven I'll see you in a couple of years, because Kari's rule over Tameran is coming to an end"

"Why?"

"Father believes it's better in my hands then hers"

"Oh I see, well Kori I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too, friend Raven"

I had made peace with every one I knew except for Richard. He wasn't there, and I had to get home.

I woke up and took a shower. Jinx was already up. She and Nieve are driving me to the airport. I had given them my, car.

(At the Airport)

"Bye Jinx, Bye Nieve" I said giving both of them a hug. They had started to cry.

I had to get on the plane or I would miss it. I waved to them from the window.

A few hours later I still wasn't in Azarath. I decided to take a nap. I'll wake up when we get there.

Well, there chapter ten , I hope you enjoy and I hope you review and no this isn't the end of the story.

-melissa-