I dreamed that night. I was sitting alone in the classroom. I was earlier than everyone else, the room empty and with no sound that anyone was going to join me. I closed my eyes and took a moment to enjoy the peace and quiet before the class would start and the room would be full and hearing everyone chattering around me. I had never been the type to talk during class. Unlike some losers, I actually paid attention. And they wondered how I got such good grades. Idiots. Then the thought crossed my mind that now when I sat in class, the seat behind me would be empty. The only empty seat in the whole room.
Would they shuffle the other students around, so the empty seat was at the back of the class?
Would they bring in another student like Purple Hair to fill the space, or would they wait till the new year for something like that?
I pondered that for a moment before I decided thinking about it was a waste of time, when I heard a sound behind me of a chair being pulled back. I turned around to look behind me to see Deku smiling widely back at me and I knew this wasn't a normal dream. In life, Deku's smile would have been more uncertain if and when ever I did look back at him, which I never did unless he was pissing me off, but now, his smile was friendly and confident. I didn't say anything, just continued to glare at him from my seat until his smile dropped away and he looked to me like he had a question on his mind.
"What?" I asked with a sneer. The last dream I had with him in the hospital had felt like my own mind was mocking me. I imagined this time going much the same. My guilt fucking with me maybe.
"You're the one who called me here" he replied, his eyebrows coming together as though he expected me to have the answers. I turned away to face the front of the room again, although it remained empty aside from us.
"I never called you" I replied back with a snarky tone. I heard sudden movement behind me and glanced over my shoulder. Deku had raised from his seat, his hands slapped down on the desk and his eyes were wide with surprise.
"Yes, you did!" he spat back, so certain of himself, though his voice held no anger. He was in our usual school uniform, same as me.
"I wouldn't be here if you didn't want me to be. You wanted to see me and so I'm here" he pushed lightly as though trying to get me to give in. I went to say something snarky back when I thought about it. This was a dream, I knew that much, and Deku had been on my mind when I fell asleep. Then something else occurred to me. In my last dream Deku had told me that he would have died anyway. He knew that before Mr. Aizawa had told me himself. I turned back slowly to face him. Dots connecting in my head.
"This isn't just a dream?" I asked more to myself and Deku leaned forward across his desk.
"Of course, it isn't" he said back with certainty, his face serious and his brows knitted together.
"Then what is this?" I asked with a suspicious hiss and glared at him. He pulled away and sat back down in his seat. He blinked at me with surprise that I hadn't figured it out already.
"This is One For All" he replied
"What!" I hissed, "When?" I asked, getting out of my own seat. Deku's green eyes followed me, remaining calm. He didn't answer but waited patiently while the gears turned in my head. I knew already how One For All was passed from one person to the next.
Had he coughed blood into my shoulder wound? No, his head had been on the other side. Then…
"When I tried to bring you back" I whispered to myself out loud, "but how, you were already gone. You need intent to pass it along" I spoke quietly as though I still needed to hide the secret in my own dream and looked to him. His gaze roamed the room while he thought it over.
"It could just be a survival thing, the quirk passing over the next available person who makes that kind of contact if the holder dies," he thought aloud, "although," he went on, looking back to me, "one of the last things I thought before it all faded away was how I wanted to give One For All to you. I had already accepted you to be its next holder" his facial expression changed as he thought that over some more and then relaxed when he seemed content with his conclusion. I would have asked something along the lines of, why me, but I felt I already knew the answer well enough. I knew the secret of One For All and I knew that Deku looked up to me for some stupid reason despite how much of a dick I had been to him over the years. Plus, I couldn't look past the fact that I happened to be the only person there.
"Then why are you here?" I asked, still standing in front of his desk. He opened his mouth to reply, but I cut in, "Yeah, I know, I called or whatever. What the hell does that even mean?" part of me was annoyed at myself for my attitude right now. I was relieved to see Deku again, surprised to learn about One For All, but part of me couldn't shake the thought that my mind was just fucking with me and I didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want it to be teared away from me.
"It means you were thinking of me. You wanted me here, so I came" he replied almost casually and gazed around the room. I had so many more questions about how this worked, but they seemed insignificant at the moment. I looked down at the ground and clenched my fists beside me. I felt Deku's eyes come back to me as I struggled with my emotions.
"Is it really you though?" I asked through clenched teeth. I wanted an answer, but I doubted I could trust it anyway which only pissed me off.
"It's really me" said Deku more softly.
"Can you prove it?" I asked, daring to look up, challenging him with my gaze. Deku looked away in thought again, though I didn't know what he would do. If this really was my own mind screwing with me there wasn't anything, he could say to me that I wouldn't already know and therefore 'he' would know and say back to me. It seemed he reached that same conclusion, because his gaze came back to me and he shook his head.
"I don't think there's anything I can say to prove I'm not just your imagination" he frowned. I let out a long sigh. This whole conversation felt exhausting already. I turned to leave the classroom and I heard Deku call out after me in surprise. After a moment I heard his footsteps following me. I turned down the hallway and kept going.
"Why are you following me?" I growled back at him.
"Because you want me here" he replied with a tone that suggested I should have already known that. I growled back audibly, but he seemed unfazed and continued to follow me in silence as I worked my way through the empty halls to outside. I didn't like this Deku. Death had given him confidence that I wasn't used too. I halted and Deku, who had been too busy gazing around him, walked into my back. He bounced off.
"What did you do that for?" he asked. I turned on him with a snarl and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.
"Tell me something, anything!" I barked into his face and he thought frantically to think of something to say to soothe me. I could practically see the gears spurred on by panic in his head.
"I uh," he began and he already sounded like his old self, his hands raised up in surrender by his head, "I knew the curry filled buns were your favorite when we were in elementary school so I used to pretend I bought the wrong one by accident so I could give it to you," when I continued to sneer at him he tried to think of something else, "I always knew when I was going to end up staying over at your place without asking because your mum would make that fish dinner I always liked. Uh, I always snuck into your bed to sleep because you always smelled good" I pushed him away.
"What?" I barked.
"Ah, your quirk," he stammered looking embarrassed, "you always smelt good, and the smell reminded me of the caramel sauce pudding my dad used to make, so it was comforting to be close to you"
"I remind you of your dad?" I glared at him with enough intensity he flinched.
"Not in a weird way" he yelled back with his hands raised and flailing in surrender again, his cheeks flushed a little. I had no idea if what the things he said were true or not, they weren't memories of mine, but I relaxed a little and stared at him more closely. He seemed to relax and bit too and lowered his arms slowly.
"Good enough" I huffed finally, and he let out a sigh of relief.
"So, do you believe me now?" he asked, looking at me with almost puppy eyes.
"Guess it doesn't really matter if I believe you or not. You're here" I spoke back, but I'd lost the edge to my voice and Deku stepped closer. He stood in front of me and after a moment his face broke into a smile. I didn't know what he was smiling about and turned on my heel to keep walking, though I didn't know where I planned to go. Deku followed behind obediently. We walked through the trees that surrounded the school campus and at one-point Deku spoke up to ask where we were going. A single glare from me was enough for him to give up on an answer. I let my mind wander and I felt myself relaxing more as we walked. The peace and quiet and the sunlight coming through the trees was nice. We exited the trees and reached a grassy slope that dipped down to a shallow stream that trickled over pebbles. The place looked familiar, but I didn't recall it being on the school grounds.
Deku stepped up to be beside me and he looked over the area too before he stopped when he saw the stream and his face lit up. He ran ahead of me, launching himself at the slope and let his body roll down the grass till he stopped just before the pebbles that lined the stream. It was like seeing a puppy being let out after being cooped up inside too long. I stared at him with shock and disgust. He lay on his back at the bottom of the slope laughing out loud to himself. After a moment he seemed to notice he was alone and sat up to look in my direction. He waved me over with a big grin and I shoved my hands in my pockets and stomped over to him. By the time I reached him, he was back on his feet and dusting dirt from his uniform.
"What was that?" I barked at him, confused. It was such odd behavior I didn't know what to make of it. Maybe I was going insane and this version of Deku was going insane too.
"Don't you recognize this place?" he smiled to me. His eyes were practically sparkling with joy. I didn't so I didn't bother to answer, instead I just narrowed my eyes at him. He threw his hands up in the air and laughed.
"This is where we used to play as kids" he turned and pointed a little bit upstream to a log that lay across the raised sides of the stream, "that's where you slipped and fell" I grumbled at him and he dropped his hand and tried not to snicker. He knew I wasn't fond of the memory. That had been one of the last times we had played when I still considered us friends. By elementary school, it had felt forced and fake and by middle school I had been an outright dick to him. I took a big breath to calm myself. This was a dream and Deku was here, and I should just focus on that and be happy about it. With some effort I tried to join in.
"I fell in and you came in to see if I was okay" I added to his memory with an irritated sigh. For a moment he turned to look back at me and he seemed a little surprised that I was taking part, then he smiled at me with a warm smile that reached his eyes, and I knew that I had made him happy and that made part of me happy to. I felt more relaxed in that moment, and I felt the corner of my lips turn up in a small smirk of my own. I reminded myself again to let go and just enjoy the stupid dream and the memory we shared. Deku was gone, dead, but here, for this moment at least, he was alive and happy, and I wanted to enjoy that too. Before I knew I would wake and be unhappy fuck all over again. The thought made my smirk fade and Deku noticed. He seemed to pick up on my thoughts or mood and his own smile faded away and he looked down at the grass between us.
"It's not so bad you know" he spoke, a small smile returning as he watched the grass move in the breeze, "you can call me whenever you want," he looked back up at me, "I don't want you to feel sad about it" in that moment he seemed almost small and shy like a child and I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him in close. It took him by surprise as a small yelp escaped him and it took him a second to relax, but eventually he did and I slowly felt his own arms comes up to touch my back, though he was trembling with fear, or shock, and that made me smirk a little again. I buried my face close to his hair and we stayed like that for a long moment. He was so real here that I could smell him, feel his hair tickle my face.
I hadn't been this close to him since kindergarten and I felt a wave of regret threaten to sweep me off my feet, and it just may have if I hadn't been holding onto him. I regretted so much, how I let my ego destroy our friendship and how I treated him over the years. We had started off as good friends till my quirk manifested and his didn't, I had let so many small things build a wall between us, but I had been the only building that wall while Deku had tried desperately to tear it down. All these years he had stuck by me, even when I had treated him like shit. He had never hated me for it, never lashed out at me or run away. Out of the two of us he had been the strongest and I knew know some of what All Might had seen in him. I had missed my chance, my many chances, to repair things and I hated myself now for that. This was my final chance to finally make things up to Deku and try to be better.