It was recess by the time I made it to class. Mr. Aizawa gave a slight nod in my direction when I came into the empty classroom, but he didn't comment on my lateness. In fact, no one did. Shitty Hair and Dunce Face, even Tape Arms, called a greeting to me when they returned to class and I got a few glances from others, but that was it and the day went on as normal. Even Four-Eyes didn't scold me.
We didn't have any practical exercises for the day, but if we had, I felt better rested and more motivated to participate. After classes I made a trip to the staff room to see if I could spot All Might, not hard to do when you're that tall, but I didn't see him. Midnight greeted me and when I asked, told me that All Might was on leave for today and tomorrow, which meant I would have to try to catch him on the weekend if I could, although he could easily be away then too. He didn't need to request leave for weekends. Plus, Deku's funeral was set for the Saturday. The whole class plus our teachers were attending and they had given us a U.A bus for the day so everyone could go together. My parents had planned to pick me up separately a little earlier and take me themselves seeing as our family had been close to Deku's, even if it was in the past. I guessed our mums had always kept in touch and gotten along.
I felt a little disappointed and relieved when I trudged back to the dorm. Deku had wanted me to talk to All Might about One For All. Was I supposed to tell him about the fact that Deku was living in my dreams still? Was that even normal for this quirk? Since I had known about their secret, I would often train with Deku and sit in on their conversations, but not once did I recall either of them talking about people inside their head. Sure, they occasionally spoke of the previous users being a part of the quirk when it was carried on and Deku had even dreamed of seeing them, though he couldn't interact with them. But this, with him, was on a different level. Maybe because we knew each other personally, there was some kind of stronger connection? No. If that had been the case, All Might would have experienced something similar when his predecessor had passed away. Or was it a timing thing? She had passed it onto him before she died, not at the same moment pretty much like Deku had.
By the time I reached the dorm I was gritting my teeth and scratching my head with frustration. Why did I never think of these questions when I was with Deku. I cursed at myself and would have to make up some mental list of things I needed answers to.
I tried to spend some more time downstairs after dinner, but it was hard to ignore the feeling of negativity from some of the classmates. While Shitty Hair and Dunce Face buzzed around me I sat quietly and tried to focus more on the others around me, those who had been closest to Deku.
Four-Eyes was as loud as ever, commanding the others around him. Behavior wise, he didn't seem too much different. I was fairly certain already that he had a strong character and figured he was just hiding it well, that his responsibility to keep his classmates from feeling too down would be a huge factor on why he was acting so okay.
Icy-Hot was quiet as usual, or maybe more so, he had never been one to talk or engage much. Deku had seemed to be one of the classmates he had been closest too, even if he wasn't too loud about their friendship. He was sitting in quiet contemplation surrounded by the chatter of others. To me he seemed lost in his own thoughts, but I didn't feel like he would openly hate me for not saving Deku.
Pink Cheeks was the other one who had been closest to Deku. She was usually smiling and bubbly when ever I saw her, but looking at her now, she was doing a piss poor job at trying to cover up how miserable she was. When no one was talking to her directly she would look the other way or down at the ground and she looked like she was about to cry if she hadn't cried herself dry already. When someone did talk to her, she would smile and laugh, but it seemed forced and some of her friends noticed it too. She glanced my way for a second before quickly diverting her eyes when she saw I was already looking her way. Now her, I imagined would blame me.
It seemed that just about everyone in the room were doing their best to distract themselves with talking, but almost all of them would look away miserably from time to time. After a while I felt I had done enough and got to my feet to head up to my room so I could grab a change of clothes, shower and then head to bed.
That night I didn't dream of Deku. If I had dreamed at all, I didn't remember it, but I knew Deku hadn't been there. When I had woken part of me felt numb with pain from not seeing Deku. I had a flicker of panic inside me that I would not see him again, but I shook it off knowing that as long as I had One For All, Deku was with me.
Today for class we had a joint exercise with the business course class, if you could call it that. The plan was for our class to battle each other in pairs while the business class watched on so they could have some experience seeing us in action to create some kind of advertising material or something about us. To be honest I didn't get their classes at all. Heroes didn't need managers or people to advertise them. If they did their jobs well, that's all they needed to be seen as top heroes.
We got to pick our teams once we reached the gymnasium that had been set up with a fresh mountain landscape thanks to Cementoss. Shitty Hair wasted no time in jumping to my side, hyped for the battle ahead, but I wasn't feeling it. Yesterday I had felt like I had my motivation back to join in on anything practical, but now I was just being eaten away inside with worry. Deku said that I now possessed One For All. When he had first gained it, he had broken his body multiple times before he was any good at using it and now all the tremendous power was inside me, somewhere. I hadn't felt any different since gaining the quirk, but I was worried that my explosions would come out stronger than I was used to and that I would hurt others. Again, I cursed myself for not asking Deku more about it. I wasn't ready to be put into a battle when I didn't know how the quirk would manifest itself in me. I imagined my own quirk would become stronger, though I couldn't begin to guess how much by, but would any punches I throw come out as strong as All Might's? Deku's did.
"Oi, Bakugo" called Shitty Hair as he touched my shoulder. He looked to me with concern and I guessed I hadn't heard what he had been saying. I shot him a glare. I didn't want anyone worrying about me. I pulled away from him and quickly put together the pieces and moved off to the side of the gymnasium to join the rest of the class to climb the stairs to be able to watch from higher up like the business class nerds and he followed without another word.
We were the fourth team to have a turn and were facing Four-Eyes and Pink Cheeks. I had faced her in a fight before and I knew not to be quick to dismiss her, plus there was the added layer of her possibly hating me for Deku's death. The class rep I hadn't been pitched against much at all, but I got the gist of how he did things already. Our teams started at opposite ends of the gym with terrain between us so we couldn't see the other team. The aim of the game was to capture or take out both of the opposing team. First team to lose both players lost. Above us stood the business nerds and I could hear them muttering about our stats and quirks, strengths and weakness already and their constant chattering annoyed me, but one voice stood out among the rest.
"Hey, isn't that blonde guy the one who was caught in that slime villain incident last year?" I heard one hiss to the other.
"Yeah I think he is. Wow" hissed back his buddy. The buzzer for the match began, but I turned back to glare at the two nerds gossiping about me in the stands. They both flinched when they saw me glaring. That incident was far from the highlight of my life and it wasn't something I liked to remember. Recalling it, I had always despised Deku. He had run towards me desperately while that villain held onto me, but now, the memory felt different, still horrible, but the events of that day ran through my mind in a flash, and I felt like I would be sick.
"Bakugo!" shouted out Shitty Hair. His voice was more distant, he had moved forward as soon as the buzzer had sounded, but the urgency in his voice brought my attention back like a jolt of electricity and I turned back in time to see Four-Eyes, who must have set off from his side of the gymnasium at full speed, coming down on me to land a kick to my head. Instinctually I raised my hands to cross in front of my face, palms already sparking to blast him away, but then I was stabbed with worry again, what if I couldn't control my quirk, what if it was too strong? He was so close he would be badly injured for sure. I hesitated as his leg closed in. By the time I had turned to see him he was already in motion and there was no stopping the blow from coming, but I let my arms relax. I couldn't strike back and there was no time to move and before I knew it everything went dark.
I came too in the nurse's office. My head throbbed like I'd been kicked by a horse, or, well, the class rep anyway. Shitty Hair was hovering nearby and looked relieved when I sat up, but before he could step closer or ask me how I was feeling, Recovery girl swooped in on her office chair with some pills and a glass of water in her hands. She offered them too me and then scooted away. I swallowed the pills and emptied the glass before the red head started asking me questions and telling me what happened after. I couldn't reply to him though, not truthfully. What was I supposed to tell him, that I had a flashback of a bad memory that made me realize something that made me want to be sick and throw hate at myself? Just thinking about it, I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream and cry like a kid, but I swallowed it all back down. The Hair-For-Brains knew me better than the rest of the class, but only Deku and All Might had ever seen me cry here. I wasn't about to let someone else see it either. In my eyes, crying was weak.
"Shut up already. I'm fine" I spoke up finally, but there was no anger in my voice. I just wanted silence for a while. Or maybe silence would be bad for me. Either way, the red head was quiet, but the concern was written all over his face and I couldn't look him in the eye. I wouldn't ever think that he would hate me, but maybe he resented me a little deep down. He had trusted Deku to me and I had failed. Despite Mr. Aizawa's words. I couldn't stop myself overflowing with guilt. Shitty Hair walked back with me to our dorm. The sun was setting already, and I was ready for a long shower. Tomorrow was Deku's funeral, and the entire dorm was filled with gloom. The class may have been trying their best to hide their true feelings and misery over Deku's death, but tonight you could feel the weight of it in the air. There was little talk and no smiles to be seen and dinner was painfully quiet and for once I wasn't the only one to go to bed early.
I struggled to fall asleep and felt like I spent hours just staring up at the dark ceiling, even though only forty-fiver minutes had past which made me groan when I checked. My mind wouldn't stop racing, recalling that day of the slime villain over and over again. My mind worked its way through the day step by step piecing together what I had learnt since the incident. Before, I had cursed that day because not only had I been a stupid helpless victim, but it was the day Deku had met All Might. After I had learned their secret Deku had walked me through the day from his point of view and how he came to meet both the villain and All Might before I had. But my mind went further back than that piecing the day together and that's when the sickness hit me hardest and I only managed to roll out of bed and reach the small bin under my desk in time. I coughed and sputtered and felt gross and tears ran down my face again and I hated it so much. After I had calmed down enough to dry my face, I made the trip to wash out the bin and to brush my teeth again before crawling back into bed. Seemed a cry session was all it took to wear me out enough to finally sleep and again, it was a dreamless sleep which was exactly what I needed to get me through the next day.