Song: The Scientist - Coldplay

I was up and dressed in a black suit with shiny black shoes before anyone else had emerged from their rooms in the morning. I could hear some starting to move around in their rooms, but I didn't see or speak to anyone as I finished getting ready and left the dorm. I hated how I looked in a suit, it just wasn't my style, but my mum had insisted I wear it. She had it dropped off at the school for me and many of the others in the class had clothes dropped off or sent to them throughout the week too. None of us had brought nice black funeral clothes with us when we moved in here. None of us had expected to attend a funeral, who does.

It was a cool morning which worked for me as I walked down the paths till I reached the front entrance to the school. The teachers were already aware that I would be making it to the funeral and back on my own while everyone else would take the school bus. My parents were already there waiting for me in their car, and I let myself into the back and off we went. It was a sullen car ride. Even mum was quiet. She hardly spoke until we reached the place the service was being held. It was an odd place to hold a funeral as far as I could say, which isn't much, but we entered through a guarded gate and drove through large gardens before finally reaching the building the funeral was being held at. It wasn't the sort of extravagant place that Deku's mum would have picked for his funeral, but with a mob of photographers and news castors outside the gates, I assumed the school must have helped arrange things to keep it as private and uneventful as possible. I hadn't stopped to think about it before, but of course a hero course student dying was reason enough for reporters to swoop in like vultures.

Before we got out my mum turned back to face me. Her face looked angry, but I knew well enough that she wasn't mad at me and I could tell she was holding back tears. I took after her in more ways than just my hair and loud personality. My mum had always hated anyone seeing her cry and she was already struggling.

"Now you listen here," she pointed at me, "you better be on your best behavior in there. We are here to support Inko" I didn't have the energy in me to bite back at her or tell her I already knew that.

"Sure" I spoke back flatly and got out of the car. My lack of a bite must have surprised her and that was enough for her to know how much I was hurting because once she got out of the car she wrapped her arms around me tightly before she had even closed the door behind her. At first I froze up. She had never been a hugger, but I slowly relaxed and put my arms back around her too and she bawled into my shoulder. I had cried enough over the last few days, like a weakling, that there wasn't much water left in me to shed. After coming around and closing the car door for her, dad wrapped his arms around both of us and we were stuck there like that in a close family huddle long enough for it become embarrassing. I was glad the class wasn't here to see it. After mum had let go and dabbed her face dry, we headed inside.

We weren't at a church, but the inside reminded me of one. It was large and spacious inside with a lot of flowers everywhere. There was a walkway down the middle dividing up rows of fold-out chairs and up the front, raised up on a platform and surrounded by flowers was a closed casket. I wondered if his body was really in there, if they had made him look clean and peaceful inside like he was only sleeping and part of me wanted to take a peek inside to see, but not only would my mum rip me to shreds for being so disrespectful, the idea just felt wrong. Not because I would be peeking in on a dead body, but because the Deku I thought of now was the one living inside my head, where he was full of life and could talk a mile a minute and had childlike outbursts such as rolling down a hill from our childhood. It felt like if I saw his body out here in the real world, it would taint the version of him inside my head. I cut off my thoughts there. Thinking about it all, even I began to realize I sounded insane.

Mum spotted Deku's mum off the side of the room with some other people and marched on over with dad and I in tow.
"Inko" called out my mum as we approached and she turned to face us, her yes red from crying. My mum opened her arms up wide and Deku's mum fell into them and they embraced each other. This time mum held back her tears, her need to be strong for Deku's mum helping her through it no doubt, while she offered all her condolences. Once they finally let go of each other, Deku's mum took a turn to embrace each of us, thanking us for coming. I was done with hugs for the day.

She introduced us to the other people who had been gathered with as some of Deku's grandparents, one from each side of his family who were still around. A few other family members arrived, more family that I had never met of his and friends of his mum's, and we as a family unit stood off to the side of the room while a slow flow of people trickled in for Deku's mum to greet and thank and accept condolences from. Finally, someone I did recognize came in and after going through the meet and greet and kind words with Deku's mum, All Might spotted us and came over to join us. My parents greeted him, and they spoke briefly about the tragedy of it all and then of school. Admittedly since the incident I hadn't been paying much attention to anything and of course the school was under heavy fire that you would expect to happen after a student's death. My parents didn't sound angry with the school at all and viewed the whole thing as a terrible accident, after all, the police and agency we had been working with at time had not been aware of the venomous bitch's presence and connection to the villain group and they were under even heavier fire than the school. Turned out All Might had been away from the school the last couple of days to help resolve the issues with the media.

I didn't get the chance to speak to All Might and considering it was a funeral it didn't really feel right to start talking about how Deku is still alive inside my head and gave me One For All. No, now was not the time at all. Not long after the school bus must have arrived because I saw Mr. Aizawa enter, followed by a trail of students in black. They all took their turn to talk briefly with Deku's mum or at the very least, offered her an apologetic nod of the head. Mr. Aizawa stood beside her as each student passed to ensure they were all paying their respects, which of course they did. Everyone in the class liked Deku. A couple of the other teachers came in after the students including Midnight, Cementoss, Present Mic and the principle and it was a little odd to see them toned down dressed in black, mainly Midnight and Present Mic. They all shared some words about how wonderful of a student Deku had been.

The rest of the class filed down the center of the space and arranged themselves in two rows of seats midway down on the left, the teachers sitting in the row behind them while Mr. Aizawa and the principle spent some more time speaking to Deku's mum. A few of them had spotted me standing to the side with my parents and All Might and had turned to look. A couple flashed me a weak smile and Spark Plug waved and I gave the smallest of nods back to them. I wouldn't be sitting with them during the service. I was destined to sit on the right side with the closer family and friends of the family, though it didn't feel like I deserved to sit there, not after the way I had treated Deku over the years. Mum was still talking away with All Might about the state of things and I nudged dad beside me to get his attention. He bent his head closer to hear me.

"I'm not expected to make some kind of damn speech or something am I?" I whispered to him and he looked thoughtful for a moment before turning to whisper my question to mum, halting her conversation with All Might. Mum whispered back to him which I was glad for. If it weren't for it being a funeral and all, she probably would have yelled her answer for all to hear. She returned to her conversation and dad whispered back to me what she had said to him.

"You're not expected to say anything, but if you want to, you can" I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head at the idea. I wouldn't know what to say and I hadn't planned anything. It would feel like a lie to stand in front of everyone and talk about fond memories I had shared with Deku. I had been a dick to him for years on end and probably upset many of his days. I didn't deserve to be called his friend.

Once the last few people had filled into the space, I still didn't know what you would call this place, a function hall? It seemed a bit too fancy for that with the gardens and all. Everyone shuffled to find their seats. I ended up between my parents on the far right of the front row. I understood that the most important people sat in the front and closest to the middle, so I don't know how we ended up in the front row at all, even if we were off to the side. I guess mum's friendship with Deku's mum was the reason for that. I hadn't really been to any funerals before, not that I can recall much of anyway. I had gone to one for my grandma when I was little, but I had been too young to comprehend what was going on and I had just felt bored by all the adults talking. Now that I was older, you could really feel the emotions in the air around you and more than once I felt my chest and throat tighten. It had started off simple enough. Some stranger who had been hired to go on about the tragedy of dying so young and being loved by many, but when it came to individuals stepping up to tell their stories, that's when you could really feel it.

One of his grandparents spoke of the first time they ever held him as a baby and how happy it had made them.

A close family friend of Deku's mum told a story about Deku pretending to be a hero and saving a cat from a drain.

All Might stood up and told everyone how proud he had been for Deku and how he had seen so much potential in him. His eulogy hit hard for me because I understood the extra layers to his words and I had to look away.

My mum stood up to take a turn at the front and surprisingly spoke of Deku and me. She spoke of how close we had been growing up. How we would play hero and obsess over All Might, something that brought a little laugh to the room, and how we used to fall asleep together and more. She did a really good job and lightening the mood of the room by bringing a few more laughs as she spoke of the mischief we would get up to and a few eyes and smiles turned my way as she spoke. Any other time I would have been pissed off at her. I would have yelled and stormed out, but instead I found the corners of my lips turning up as those memories played back to me as she told them. It was probably the worst smile I had ever worn, but I couldn't make it go away. Half happy, half sad.

She was right though, we had been very close growing up, closer than I had originally recalled. We used to go on weekend camping trips in the backyard and we would share a little tent together. We would try to make food for my dad and watch him try to not to screw up his face at the eggshells left in the muffins. We would stop in the street and yell at the tv playing in a shop window as it showed re-runs of some of All Might's greatest moments. As a tear rolled down my cheek, I looked down at my knees to hide it and I felt my dads hand touch my shoulder. He too was teary eyed and smiling.

After my mum returned to us and she wrapped her arms around me as she sat down beside me again, a couple of my classmates took a turn to speak. Four-Eyes spoke on behalf of the whole class. Racoon Eyes and Ponytail went up together. Shitty Hair took a turn and even the Half n' Half Bastard said a few words. Mr. Aizawa took front and center on behalf of the school and as his home room teacher and finally Deku's mum stood up.

Her cheeks were tear stained and she chocked on her first few words as she began, but once she started going, she was strong. She mostly spoke of how much Deku had wanted to be a hero. How him seemingly being quirkless for so many years never stopped him from believing he could make it and how happy they had been when they discovered he was just a late bloomer and was well on his way to making his dream come true. She didn't show any anger or grief towards the school. Although I had heard that Deku had almost not been able to stay because his mum was so worried for him, she was firm in her belief that her son died doing what he wanted and stood for what he believed in and that she was proud of him. I wasn't sure if all her words were true. Surely as a parent you would want to place blame on someone, but she thanked everyone for coming and that was the end of the service. The casket was left where it was for people to step up and say some personal final words if they wanted to, which almost everyone did. I was going to give it a miss when mum hissed at me to do it and I made my way over. When I stepped up to Deku's casket it was a weird feeling staring down at polished wood and wondering if he was really in there or not. I took a deep breath and tried to think of something to say quietly.

"I don't really know what to say" I whispered to the shiny wood, "this is kind of fucking weird seeing as you're in my head. I wonder if you heard any of the things people said. I wonder if you're hearing this now. It feels stupid, but I guess I have to say something" I paused to think about it some more, "I guess all I can really say is that I'm sorry and that I'll miss seeing you around here" I added referring to the physical world.
"And, I wish I had been a better friend to you" my fingers grazed across the shiny wood and the words carried more weight than I thought they could have being spoken out loud. I may get the chance to see him in my dreams, but everyone else missed out on that and I felt bad for them. I thought about adding a "see you later" but the longer I stood over him the more stupid I felt so I left it at that and stepped away.

A lot of people lingered around after the service and there was a book to sign and write some notes in. Some people had even brought their own photos of or with Deku and slipped them into the book. I would have liked to flick through the whole thing, but other people were waiting to write something so I wrote a little generic note in there because I couldn't think of anything else to say and stepped aside. I stopped by my parents for a while and heard from them that we were attending a reception afterwards which meant I wouldn't be returning to school till late. Stepping away, Shitty Hair, Dunce Face, Tape Arms and Ears approached me. They were all smiling a lot more than before which was welcoming, but I couldn't bring myself to smile back. The best I could over was decreasing my level of scowl, which was already at an all time low for the day. I was glad they hadn't been sitting close enough to see my face during the eulogies.

"Man, your mum's speech was awesome" commented Tape Arms. He looked more edgy than formal in his black formal jacket; its sleeves rolled back behind his enlarged elbows.

"Her stories were priceless" added in Dunce Face and I knew I would be hearing him mock me for weeks yet.

"She really did a great job and lifting the mood" spoke Ears with a softer smile and out of everyone who had opened their mouths so far, I appreciated her words the most. Shitty Hair stepped closer while the other three retold a story my mum had mentioned.

"How ya going man?" he asked quietly enough for only me to hear. He was smiling softly like Ears was and I knew he was being sincere. I was glad that there was less deep concern in his eyes. Right now, he was just a friend checking in on another friend at a funeral. Nothing deeper like how I had missed parts of class this week or how I was avoiding the rest of the class or about how I was distracted enough to be knocked out.
"I knew you and Midoriya had known each other since you were kids, but I hadn't known you two had been so close" he commented gently. I knew he wasn't having a go at me for hiding something from him, which I hadn't been. I had just spent so many years being an asshole to Deku that I had stopped thinking about the childhood we had shared.

"I'm alright" I replied with a grumble, and my straightforward answer seemed to surprise him, "or at least as good as I'm going to be at a funeral" I tried to smile back at him to reassure him, but it was mostly flat and a moment later his arms were wrapped around me in a tight hug and he was crying on me. Another hug was not what I wanted or needed. This time I was the one who was surprised. I didn't know exactly why he was crying, whether it was pent up from the funeral, relief that I was alright/not alright and I had finally said it or a combination of both. But he clung to me and cried. I let him for a few seconds and then started growling at him to get off. Tape Arms and Dunce Face had to pry him off because my arms were pinned to my side and I could start to feel my blood boil. My mum shot me a glare over someone's shoulder from across the room, and I toned it down to a huff. After Shitty Hair was dragged away I felt a large hand touch down lightly on my shoulder and I looked back and up to see All Might smiling down at me.

"Are you coming to the reception after this?" I asked after he had finished commenting on how boisterous Hair For Brains could be sometimes.

"I am, but I won't be staying for long" he replied, "I was invited personally, but will also be acting on behalf of the school" I nodded in understanding. He had been Deku's idol and had personally believed in him. He was important and therefore Deku's mum would have invited him. As far as the school went, staring at the other options they had to attend, he was a good choice. I could not see Mr. Aizawa having the patience to attend and the others were too, out there, and weren't all that close to Deku. The principle himself probably didn't want to attend because it would come across as a publicity thing, although All Might wasn't that great of a choice either in that respect.
"How are you coping with all of this?" he asked a little more seriously, "Those stories your mother told were very personal" I shrugged it off.

"It's fine. They were good stories" I tried not to think how embarrassing it felt to know that All Might had sat there and listened to how Deku and I had obsessed over him as kids. I glanced away to cool myself.

"I didn't realize you two had been so close" he commented with a warm smile and I felt the urge to defend myself. That it hadn't been any of his business and it wasn't like Deku had brought it up to him, but then again, why would he.

"Yeah" I replied with simply. There was a moment of silence between us, and I felt the urge to spill it all and tell him about One For All. I know I had told myself I wouldn't but since the service had ended, the atmosphere of the room had cleared, and everything seemed more relaxed. I owed it to Deku to tell him about it, so he had some hope, but as I opened my mouth the principle called to him as he approached with Mr. Aizawa. They saw me with him and made their own remarks of not realizing how close Deku and I had been, and I only offered them a nod in reply. I was getting sick of hearing it. Once they turned their attention back to All Might, I slunk away. I met back up with Shitty Hair, who had calmed down and was back to normal, to tell him that I was staying for the reception, and I stuck around until the teachers came and ushered them all back onto the bus and left. More people left and I sat myself down on a chair till my parents came to collect me for the car. Apparently, the reception was to be held elsewhere. Mum apologized to me during the short drive if she had embarrassed me, but I scoffed her concerns away.

"Hey," I spoke up as we pulled into a parking space and my mum looked back at me from the passenger seat, "where was his dad?" I asked. Last, I had heard he was still alive, or at least, I hadn't heard of his death. Mum sighed before she replied, and it was an angry sigh.

"He was unavailable" was all she said with venom in her voice as she turned back.

"What an asshole" I muttered under my breath.

The song for this chapter still makes me cry to this day. In high school I lost the boy that I considered to be my best friend over a fight. We didn't manage to repair things before he died suddenly less than a year later. It's the worst feeling in the world not repairing things with your loved ones because you just assume they will be there and that you have time to wait, time to cool down before you approach them again. He was my oldest friend and I never had the chance to fix things with him. To remind him that I loved him and how important he was too me. He was like a brother to me and all I ever wanted in the world was to protect him.

Coldplay was one of his favourite bands and this was the song they played at his funeral that day.

Don't wait. Never wait. Because you never know when those people important to you will be gone.