Song: Drugs - EDEN

It was a Sunday, so no classes, but I had something else on my mind and wondered if All Might was back on campus. After my usual morning routine exercises and a shower, I visited the faculty office to check. With the teachers living on campus the one up side was that if you ever needed them, they were around and they would often still come to their offices to work. I saw Present Mic in there and he let me know that All Might was around but had ducked out for some fresh air a little while ago, so I went for a walk myself. I wouldn't know where All Might would have gone so I chose to forget about it and stuffed my hands in my pockets as I headed back outside. The thought crossed my mind to find a secluded spot and try out my quirk to find out if its strength had changed due to One For All. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't heard All Might call to me at first.

"Young Bakugo!" he called out with a wave as he approached me from another path. I stopped and waited for him to reach me. I knew I had things to talk to him about, but it all brought such unpleasant feelings with it that pushing the words out would be hard.
"You out for a walk too?" he grinned down at me when he reached me. I nodded and made a grunt to confirm what he said and then stepped forward to keep walking. I figured he would follow me to keep talking. If he didn't, well, that was one more day without having to talk about such things.
"I heard from Aizawa that you got injured in the practical exercise the other day" he said as he tagged along my path.

"I got distracted for a moment" I replied flatly.

"Has something been on your mind?" he asked as the path was swallowed up by trees. I continued in silence for a moment. Yes, there were many things on my mind that were starting to weigh me down more and more.
"If it's about Midoriya," he continued more gently, "it was not your fault" sometimes he was a total idiot of a teacher. Other times he hit the nail on the head and today it hurt. I turned on him, the rage, sadness and guilt suddenly overwhelming me, and I could already feel myself getting emotional. All Might had seen me cry once before. I didn't want to seem weak in front if him again. Not now.

"Of course it's my fault!" I spewed back at him, my voice chocking on my raw emotions, "It's all my fault. None of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for me"

"Bakugo," All Might spoke softly. I could see my outburst had surprised him, but his concern for me outweighed everything else.
"It's not your fault," he repeated, "you heard what Aizawa said about the woman's quirk. No one could have helped Midoriya" he lifted a hand to touch my shoulder, but I swatted it away, hard.

"You don't understand" I growled back through clenched teeth. I looked down at the ground between us, tears starting to form. God, I hated how much of a little wuss I was being lately. I felt like I was crying all the time and I hated it.

"Then explain it to me" he spoke more quietly, but with a firm sense of authority and it washed away some of my anger. I clenched my fists tight enough to hurt to help stop my voice from chocking.

"That day you met Deku," I began, "I told him to kill himself" the words scratched my throat on the way out. I had never said it aloud to anyone before and I didn't want to look up at him, I was so ashamed.
"He got attacked by that slime villain because of me. After school he went up to the roof and I was scared he was actually going to do it, but he didn't" a chocked sob escaped me, "he left school later than normal and because of that he got caught up by that slime villain and met you" I paused for a moment to stop my voice from shaking. I had expected All Might to say something, reach out to me again, but he didn't and that stung me even more.

"Don't you see," I cracked, "if it wasn't for me none of this would have happened. He never would have met you. He never would have gotten your stupid quirk. He never would have made it into U.A. He never would have been training to become a hero. He never would have died" I chocked out the last part and if my fingernails had been any longer, my balled fists would have been dripping blood. An uncomfortable silence past between us and I thought he would never speak to me again. I was seconds away from deciding to turn and walk away. After the shame I had just exposed, I would walk right off campus and never come back.

"Bakugo" spoke All Might, his voice hard and strong and I tensed up, "look at me" he demanded and I slowly lifted my gaze to him. I was actually scared he would be scowling down at me. Tell me I was a disgrace, anything, but instead he was crying silently from one eye. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me comfortingly.
"It is not your fault" he repeated, "No one could see that things would have turned out the way they have and it's out of everyone's control. It is not your fault at all" he finished and pulled away. The strength and certainty of his words had silenced most of the turmoil inside me for the moment and I took a deep shuddering breath.

"There's more" I spoke up and All Might waited patiently for me to continue, "Deku passed One For All to me" All Might almost flinched back at my words and his mouth opened slightly with speechless shock, "and" I continued, "I've been seeing Deku, in my dreams" he went to speak when I cut him off to add; "and it's really him. I didn't believe it at first, but it really is him".

All Might looked thoughtful for a long moment before embracing me in a sudden hug again. This one held more energy than the last one. That one had been comforting, this one held more hope in it. Deku had said just as much. That telling All Might about One For All would give him hope again. We started walking down the pathway through the trees again and I went on to tell him about my previous meetings with Deku in my dreams, the things he had said, how he seemed and how the other vestiges weren't happy with him currently. I even told him how Deku had invaded one of my dreams, or nightmare would be more accurate, and changed its outcome and that he had been keeping other bad dreams from me. All Might listened on with strong interest and asked very few questions. When he did have anything to ask, it was more to see how Deku was doing mentally with the circumstances than anything. Deku had never seemed bothered with the fact that he was dead, maybe that was just a predisposed position when you become part of the quirk, otherwise everyone would be miserable or hold regrets for a long time I guessed. I still hadn't asked Deku if he had picked up anything from the funeral or how he actually felt about his own death.

"Personally, I never met any of the previous holders of One For All" he commented as we walked, "and my predecessor had very little contact with them from what she had told me. Young Midoriya didn't engage with them much, but he did glimpse them more than we both had so I was never very good at giving him guidance where those matters were concerned. But you say young Midoriya comes to you in your dreams," I nodded, "then it seems he is stepping out of your subconscious, where the other vestiges reside inside the quirk, to your conscious mind to speak to you"

"So, I have a bunch of dead people hiding in the back of my head?" I asked with a groan. Deku I could deal with for now. A bunch of randoms. Not so much.

"Well, I'd say there are more layers to it then that" he stopped and used his hands as walls to explain.
"You have your consciousness where you actively think things out, then your subconscious which is like a computer doing a lot of work in the background you're not aware of . Then you have the subconscious of the quirk which would keep all the thoughts and feelings of the past users tucked away from your own. Midoriya is somewhere between all that I would say" he wasn't very good with the technical stuff, but he had held One For All longer than Deku had. I would expect him to understand it better than I did.

"That would explain why he only picks up on somethings I feel or that happens around me" I thought aloud.

"He can hear things?" asked All Might a little shocked, but pleasantly so.

"Yeah, it's annoying actually. Sometimes I think something, and he picks up on it or the other day he heard something Mr. Aizawa had said to me and he pretty much repeated it back to me" I had been slightly interested when I had started to speak about it, but that quickly dissolved into annoyance at the fact that my life wasn't so private anymore.

"I think that's not a bad thing" smiled All Might at the thought, "perhaps there are times when he is closer to your consciousness than your subconscious so he would pick up on things around you" that made sense, but I was still annoyed about it regardless.
"And how do you fell about it?" he asked as we reached the end of the trees and stepped out to a grassy area that lead off to the dorms.

"I don't know" I replied honestly. Having Deku in my head made me feel a lot of different things and sometimes it was all a bit too much. Being around him was both exhausting and relaxing. Soothing and anger inducing at times.

"Perhaps this is a good chance for you to reconcile some of your feelings with him" All Might offered with a small gentle smile, "things may become clearer to you then" he stepped back to leave the way he had come, back to the main building and to his paperwork when I spoke up.

"What about One For All?" I asked, "How will I know how to use it?" and he shot me back his signature All Might grin.

"Shut up" I growled at Deku as he lay on the grass laughing. I hadn't gotten around to trying out my quirk earlier in the day. I would have felt stupid for following All Might's words of instructions and when I had met Deku after I had fallen asleep, I had told him about my conversation with him. Of course, I had told him what advice All Might had given me in regards to One For All and he had just rolled over with laughter.
"I knew it," I continued, "that old bastard was screwing with me" I clenched my fist. I would have my revenge. Deku sat up beside me, the worst of his laughing fit over. He even wiped away a tear.

"No, he wasn't messing with you" he snickered, and I turned my glare to him.
"SO CLENCH YOUR BUTT CHEEKS KID" Deku did his best All Might impersonation and then fell back again with laughter.

"What the hell?" I sneered over at him.

"That's exactly what he told me too" he replied when he could breathe again.

"What the fuck kind of advice is that?" I asked with disgust, "you didn't, did you?"

"Yep" smiled back Deku, "and I broke both my arms and legs the first time too" I had heard that he had been injured during the U.A entrance exam, but I hadn't heard that much detail.

"What the fuck!" I exclaimed, and he just beamed at me.

I was aware that Deku had said that he would try to not be around so much, and he had tried. When I had realized I was dreaming I had wanted to talk to him about All Might, so I had called and called until he eventually showed up, looking a bit disgruntled that I hadn't even made it a day without summoning him, consciously or not. But overall, he was happy to be here, as far as I could tell. I also explained to him All Might's theory about him being in between my consciousness and subconscious and after he pondered that for a moment, he felt it was pretty accurate.

"When you're awake, or I'm not here with you it's like I'm asleep" he commented with some thought, his head tilting, "and sometimes it's like my eyes open a fraction and I see or hear or feel things you do, but then I fall back to sleep again. Otherwise, if I'm not like that, sometimes I'm with the other past users of One For All, although I don't spend a lot of time there. When I'm sleeping in the middle it's like I can react faster if you need me" he finished a little more confidently in his summary and it made sense to me. By need, I assumed he was talking about the bad dreams.

"Those times I wake up for a moment," he went on, "it can happen at random, but it seems to happen more frequently if you're really worked up about something" he added, and I felt safe to assume he meant emotionally. Crap. There had been a lot of that recently. I let out a cross between a long sigh and groan about it. I was glad he didn't feel the need to start listing examples. I really didn't need or want reminders that he could peep into my life like that.

"Have you ever tried staying awake?" I asked him out of curiosity.

"I can't. As long as I'm in the middle, your subconscious, I sleep" he replied with a shake of his head. I guess I was relieved about that.

"Is it even possible for you to stay on this side when I am awake?" I asked, meaning my conscious side. Deku looked thoughtful for a moment longer.

"I haven't tried to be honest. I doubted you'd want me here during the day. I mean I would see and hear more, which I already know you wouldn't want, and what if you can hear me when I talk, that would be distracting" he answered with a dismissive wave of his hand. We both fell silent in our own trains of thought. I wondered if I could pick up on his feelings and thoughts the way he did mine, but I dismissed that idea. We were in my head after all, not his.

"You look tired again" commented Deku after a while, "maybe you should rest here again. That left you feeling better last time, didn't it?" he asked, and I grunted in agreement. Taking his advice. I laid down on the grass, but I didn't close my eyes right away.

"What about the funeral," I asked, "did you glimpse anything from that?"

"I felt some emotions coming from you, but I didn't hear anything" he replied, "How was it?" he asked tentatively just to move the conversation along as he moved his arms to rest behind his head on the grass. This time I wouldn't have to grumble at him to lay the fuck down.

"It was alright" I replied with a neutral tone, "I don't have much experience with funerals" I added, and he made a noise of agreement.
"Oi, don't let me sleep in this time" I warned him and when he agreed I finally closed my eyes.