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Chapter 15 – HOPE FADES

Fifteen hours later, Jeff was on his way to Brains' lab. Time seemed to be moving both fast and slow to Jeff. He thought back over the last few hours. Alan had slept for six and a half hours. He was still upset when he woke up but at least he was functioning. Alan wanted to take a rotation sitting with John, but Jeff refused which resulted in a heated argument.

FLASHBACK BEGINS

"Alan, I know that this is hard for you to understand." Jeff said trying not to yell. "I'm only doing what I think is best for you."

Alan though did yell. "You're treating me like a child. You never think that I can do anything. He's my brother. I can do this. You just have to trust me."

"This has nothing to do with trust." Jeff interrupted. "This has to do with the fact that sitting with John at this particular time is extremely difficult. I know. As much as I am worried about John, I also have four other boys to consider. Even though you fight against it, the fact is, at fifteen, you still are a child, and as your father, I have a responsibility to keep you from harm. That's why I made this decision. You shouldn't have to see your brother like this."

Alan tried to reason with his dad. "It's not a 'have to' situation Dad. I want to do this. Look, I'm sorry about my emotional outburst before, but that's out of my system now. I can handle it."

"Virgil couldn't." Jeff said quietly.

"What?" Alan asked in a confused tone.

"Virgil, during his last rotation, had to be relieved 35 minutes early." Jeff explained. "He couldn't handle it. Scott had to take over for him."

Alan sat down dejectedly. He folded and unfolded his hands. Quietly he said. "But I'm not Virgil."

Jeff sighed. "I know you're not, and I know this seems unfair to you. This whole situation has been unfair to everybody. John certainly never deserved being poisoned. You and your brothers shouldn't have to watch him die little by little. I'm at a loss for what to do. I always thought that if I was going to lose one of you that it would be because of an accident during a rescue. It would be quick, not this watching and waiting. Even when I lost your mother in the avalanche, it was quick. When the ski patrol found her, they determined that she had broken her neck which would have killed her instantly." Jeff stopped talking as he got lost in his thoughts and memories.

"Dad?" Alan questioned.

Jeff shook himself mentally. "Sorry Alan, I got lost in some memories. Look I know that you don't understand my decision, and you are definitely not happy with it, but it is what I have decided."

"I can't believe you are keeping me from John." Alan said angrily.

Jeff tried to keep his tone neutral. "I'm not trying to keep you from John. I just don't want you alone with him. If things are quiet, you may see him for a few minutes. It will be up to whoever is sitting with him to determine if you can come in. If the answer is no, that's it. I don't want you to fight it."

"But Dad…" Alan tried to argue.

Jeff cut him off. "No Alan, this is the decision I made. Right or wrong, it is what it is. If the situation changes, then I'll reconsider my decision."

"Fine, just fine," Alan said as he left the room in a huff.

Jeff rested his head in his hands. He knew that his decision had hurt Alan, but he knew that allowing Alan to take a rotation would also hurt him. It was a no-win situation. Jeff left his office and headed to the kitchen. He wasn't really hungry, but his rotation would be coming up soon, and he needed to keep his strength up.

END FLASHBACK

Jeff found himself outside of Brains' lab. He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized that he had reached his destination. Brains had called him a few minutes before and asked to see him. Jeff knew that Brains and Kyrano had been working together to try to find a cure. Jeff hesitated. Once he opened that door, he would learn the fate of his son. The cure would work or not. His son would live or not. Jeff tried to pull himself together. Putting it off was not going to change the outcome. He opened the door and walked in. Brains was at his workbench, and Kyrano stood off to the side.

"OK Brains, have you found out anything?" Jeff asked.

"I wish that I could g-g-g-have better news." Brains began.

Jeff felt his heart drop. "So the antidote doesn't work."

"I don't know for s-s-s-absolutely." Brains explained. "The pre-pre-first tests showed promise, but we don't have time to run fur-fur-more conclusive tests."

"So what are you saying, Brains?" Jeff asked impatiently.

"You need to m-m-m-come to a decision." Brains said. "Do you want me to g-g-g-administer the antidote to J-J-him even though I can't guar-guar-be certain of the results?"

"What's the worse that could happen, Brains? Could it kill him?" Jeff asked, looking between Brains and Kyrano.

"It c-c-c-it's a possibility." Brains replied, seeming to be the spokesman for the two.

Jeff sighed. "Well, that's going to happen if we don't do anything, so you need to go ahead and give it to him. It's John's only hope right now."

"OK, Mr. Tracy," Brains said. "I just th-th-th-felt that you should be in-in-made aware of the situation. I'll go give him the an-an-serum now."

"Thank you Brains and you too Kyrano. I know that you both worked long and hard on this." Jeff told his friends. Placing a hand on Brains' shoulder, he said. "I'll come with you. Hopefully, we will have our answers soon."

When Jeff and Brains entered the infirmary, John was frantically pulling at the restraints and screaming. Scott sat quietly in a chair next to the bed. He had given up trying to comfort his brother. In this delusional state, anything he said or did only seemed to make John worse.

John saw Brains raise the syringe to the IV port. He began to fight harder and yelled at Scott. "See. I knew it. I knew it." Turning back to Brains, he pleaded. "Don't do this. Don't give into them. Fight for control of your mind. You don't have to do what they say."

Brains ignored him and injected the serum into the port.

John closed his eyes and moaned. "Oh no, no. What have they done to me?"

"Hopefully saving your life," Brains said quietly without stuttering once.

Scott moved to stand next to his father at the end of John's bed. "What's he giving him?" He asked.

"Hopefully the cure," Jeff replied.

"The cure?" Scott said excitedly. "And it works?"

Jeff exhaled loudly. "Brains doesn't know for sure. The preliminary tests showed promise, but there just isn't time to run the conclusive tests. But at this point it is the only hope there is."

"How long until we know?" Scott asked.

"There's no way of knowing when it will take affect, if it takes affect." Jeff answered his son honestly. Changing the subject, he asked. "Any ideas about what his delusions are now?"

"Yeah, he thinks we're aliens who have abducted him in order to perform 'human experiments'." Scott said. "You know if things weren't so serious, it would be funny. Something right out of Gordon's old sci-fi movies."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Jeff said. Turning to Brains, he asked. "Any reaction?"

"There doesn't s-s-appear to be. I'm sorry Mr. Tracy." Brains replied.

"You did your best. That's all you could have done." Jeff told Brains. Turning to Scott he asked. "Do you want me to relieve you?"

"I think it would be better if you went and talked to Alan." Scott said. "He was in here when John began his latest 'delusion'. I could see he was getting upset, so I insisted he leave. He was pretty mad at me."

"I'll try, but he was pretty mad at me when I laid down that rule." Jeff said with a sigh. "He said that I was treating him like a child."

"I know." Scott said. "He's always had a hard time dealing with being the youngest. I know he gets irritated with my 'over-protectiveness', but I was protective of all my brothers. I still am at times. Alan just doesn't see it."

"I know. Believe me, I know." Jeff said. "He wants to be an adult so bad. He just doesn't realize that the protectiveness doesn't go away. It just changes in how we demonstrate it. Both Virgil and Gordon have rolled their eyes at me when we work together on rescues."

Scott nodded his head toward the vacant chair. "I'm going to go back and sit with John."

Jeff returned the nod. "OK, let me know if there is any change. I'll go find Alan."

Jeff checked for Alan's locater and saw that he was on the beach. Jeff smiled in spite of himself. He should have known that's where Alan would have gone. He decided to watch Alan's signal and see if Alan would come in by himself. It would give Alan some time to himself to deal with his anger. Plus it would give Jeff some time to figure out what to say to his youngest.

After a half hour though, Jeff decided that he had given Alan enough time and headed to the beach. He sat down next to his son. Alan sat with his fore arms resting on his bent knees. He had a piece of driftwood in his hands that he fiddled with. He stared out at the ocean waves that gently lapped upon the beach.

"Alan, are you OK?" Jeff asked.

Alan hesitated for a moment before he quietly answered. "No."

Jeff was shocked. He expected Alan to rant in anger about Scott forcing him from the infirmary. A quiet Alan concerned Jeff more than an angry Alan. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Alan sighed and bowed his head. "You were right Dad. I am a child."

Now Jeff was really confused. He waited for Alan to continue, but Alan remained quiet. "Alan?" He prompted. "Is this about what happened in the infirmary?"

Alan nodded his head. "When I first got there, John was sleeping. So Scott and I were talking and then John let out this blood curdling scream. I have never heard anything like it. It was so primal, almost animalistic." Alan's eyes met his dad's gaze for just a second before dropping back to stare at his hands. "It scared me Dad. I was terrified. I wanted to leave the infirmary right then, but I couldn't seem to move. Scott had to tell me to leave twice before I could finally move. I'm such a selfish jerk."

Jeff placed a hand on Alan's shoulder. "You're not being selfish, and you're definitely not a jerk. You are just human. I know how hard this is and so do your brothers."

Tears filled Alan's eyes. "I can't do this, Dad. I don't know how to handle it. I'm so torn up that I hurt. Physically, I mean. My head is pounding. I have a dull ache in my chest. My legs feel so weak that I'm walking like an eighty-year old man. I'm afraid, Dad. I'm so afraid that I can't think straight." Finally Alan dissolved into tears.

Jeff pulled his son to him. He fought his own tears as he held Alan. "I'm sorry this is happening. You're reacting to the stress. Just remember though, you aren't alone. We are all having a hard time with this, and we are all reacting differently. The important thing is that we are there for each other. Don't be afraid to come to any of us. We will get through this together. We will grieve together. We will heal together. Our bonds will grow stronger through this."

Alan nodded into his dad's chest. He pulled away and began to wipe the tears from his eyes as he pulled himself together. Before he could say anything, his dad's watch beeped.

Jeff keyed his watch and Brains' face appeared. "I'm sorry to in-in-call you right now." Brains said. "But I thought you should be aw-aw-aw-told. John sl-sl-sl-fell into a coma a few min-min-just now."

Jeff felt his heart drop and his throat go dry. Clearing it, he spoke in a strained voice. "Thank you Brains. I will be there shortly."

Once Jeff disconnected the call, Alan asked. "So now that he's in the coma that gives Brains, what was it, four hours to find the antidote?"

Jeff sighed and looked at his watch. "Brains thought he had the antidote. He gave it to John almost an hour ago."

Alan's eyes widened as the reality behind that statement sunk in. "So that's it. It didn't work. He's going to die."

This time it was Jeff who hesitated as he stared out over the water. Quietly he said. "Yeah, he is."

Both Alan and Jeff sat in silence trying to reconcile themselves to John's fate. Finally Jeff broke the silence. "I have to meet Brains in the infirmary."

"Can I come too?" Alan asked.

Jeff looked at Alan. He was unsure on how to answer given Alan's admission just a few minutes before. "Only if you're sure that you want to? I don't want you to come if you don't think that you could handle it emotionally."

Alan nodded his head. "I can do this. I have to do this. I have to do this for John."

Jeff stood up and extended a helping hand to Alan. "OK, if you're sure. Let's go."

Alan stood and walked back to the villa with his father's arm around his shoulders. He slipped his arm around his dad's back, leaning on his dad. Quietly he said. "Thanks Dad, I love you."

Author's note: Oh man, poor John now in a coma, poor Alan who now is coming to terms with the situation, poor Jeff dealing with all this, poor Brains who thought he had an antidote. Convert has gone so far underground, and she refuses to come out even to give a statement. The end is coming shortly. We want to thank everyone who read and reviewed our story. There were a few who did anonymous reviews so we were unable to reply to you directly, but we still want to acknowledge how much your reviews mean to us. Thank you.