Right Here

By simplyawfulx3
a.k.a.
Srijoni Rhea

Author's Notes:

A couple of things that I changed for the story: Jess didn't come back.He came backfor Liz's wedding, buthis and Rory'spaths never crossed. Unlikely, I know, because they were in STARS HOLLOW. But oh well. Rory just hasn't seen him since he leftfor his dad.Rory didn't sleep with Dean. Logan does not exist. Rory did not drop out of Yale, therefore there was no Jess coming back with a book to force her back into Yale. Rory's in her junior year of Yale. Rory's a little OOC cause of the song lyrics. Hopefully, I'll end up with a Rory that you don't want to strangle. I think that's it… any questions, leave a review and I'll reply to it!

Disclaimer: If I owned Gilmore Girls, Logan and April would never exist, Rory never would have slept with Dean, Jess and Rory would be dating, and Lorelai and Luke would be married with a kid on the way… I think we've established the fact that I don't own GG. Song lyrics belong to Staind.

Thanks to my betas Monica7725 and Alyssa Claire for looking over and perfecting my fic. Kudos to you both!

He took a deep breath and waited for his nerves to calm down. He could feel the paperback in his hand slipping, and he urged his sweaty hands to clasp the book tighter. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Slowly he lifted his hand and pressed the glowing white button. As the doorbell chimed once, he could feel his courage disappearing. But before he could turn around and head back towards his car…

"Coming!"

He froze. That voice. The voice that had invaded his thoughts during the day and haunted his dreams at night. The voice that he had longed to hear. The voice he hadn't heard in three years. Three years. 1,095 days. 28,280 hours. 1,576,800 minutes. 94,608,000 seconds. There wasn't a second that had passed in which she hadn't infiltrated his mind. Every minute he spent studying was for her. He only graduated for her. He worked his way out of debt for her. This book, the book that was now grasped tightly in his hands, was written only for her.

His head snapped up when he heard the door in front of him open. He watched her as her eyes grew twice the size as normal and her lips moved slowly to form a small "o". As her brain caught up to the sight in front of her, her surprised expression turned into one filled with bitterness and remorse.

"What are you doing here?" she spat rudely.

"I want to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about. You made that clear when you left me three years ago."

"Please, Rory, please. Just give me ten minutes. If you still hate me after that, I'll leave and you won't ever have to deal with me again," the dark haired boy begged. He hoped to God that she wouldn't hate him after this and she would want to deal with him again.

Jess watched as Rory bit her lip. He could almost see her making a traditional Gilmore pro-con list in her head, and weighing her options. The pro list must have been a tad bit longer because she consented and with a short nod, she invited him into the dorm room. He took in the sight of her room. It didn't look like her room in Stars Hollow, but there was a certain feeling in the room, something that couldn't be defined. It was just distinctly Rory. His eyes scanned over her bed and landed on the bookshelves. His gaze fell on her battered copy of Oliver Twist and he smiled inwardly, reminiscing. He remembered the first time she had called him Dodger.

---Flashback---

"So, that was quite the disappearing act you pulled the other night."

"Potlucks and Tupperware parties aren't really my thing." Jess clarified.

Rory smiled. "Too cool for school, huh?"

"Yes, that is me." Jess admitted without hesitation, glancing up at her for a brief moment, before returning his attention to the object in his hands.

Rory looked down at his hands.

"What are you doing?" she asked, curiosity etched on her face.

"Oh this? Jess asked mysteriously. "Nothing, just another little disappearing act." He showed her a coin, and with a turn of his palm, it had vanished. Rory, however, didn't look too amused.

"Little tip?"

"Yeah."

"If you ever want to speak to me again, don't pull that out of my ear," Rory advised.

"So I assume the nose is off limits too?" Jess asked, completely serious.

"Any place you wouldn't naturally find a coin. Let's leave it that way," she said, nodding. Silence ensued.

"So… what are you doing now?" Jess questioned.

"I have some homework to finish," Rory said.

"Okay, so I'll leave you this last little… trick." he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a copy of Howl.

"You bought a copy? I told you I'd lend you mine," she exclaimed, smiling.

"It is yours," Jess confessed.

"You stole my book!" she accused.

"Nope, borrowed it."

"Okay, that's not called a trick, that's called a felony." Rory informed.

"Just wanted to put some notes in the margins for you," he explained.

"What?" she asked exasperated. She flipped through the book, and saw notes all over the place. Unknown to her at the time, she would get very accustomed to the handwriting that had vandalized her book. "You've read this before," she stated.

"About forty times."

"I thought you said you didn't read much."

"Well, what is much?" Jess shrugged and replied cryptically. "Good night Rory." He gave her a sly smile and turned to walk away.

"Good night Dodger," she replied, examining the book and the notes inside it more carefully.

Jess turned around. "Dodger?"

"Figure it out." She instructed, before turning and heading home.

"Oliver Twist," he shouted across the street. Rory smiled and faced him, nodding. Jess watched as she turned around, and walked home. He smiled to himself and headed to Luke's. "Dodger…" he said repeatedly to himself. Maybe Stars Hollow wouldn't be that bad after all…

---End flashback---

He sighed. He had spent enough time in the last three years thinking about the past. Immersed in her memories. Memories of the first time he met her, at that stupid dinner that Luke had forced him to go to. The look on her face when he suggested they bail. Memories of the Bid-A-Basket event. The guilty look on her face when he outbid Dean, and was rubbing it in his face. How helpless and sorry she looked when she tried to explain to Dean that she didn't want this to happen. How she forgot all about it, and had fun with him after the picnic. The terrible, inedible food that she had packed. The nervous tone to her voice when she called him later that night. How she took a defensive tone when talking about The Fountainhead. How frustrated she would get when arguing about Hemmingway.

He loved replaying the memory of her scolding him and demanding that he try to get along with Lorelai if he cared for her at all. He had raised an eyebrow and asked what made her think he cared about her. Rory had turned a dark red, realizing how that had sounded. Stuttering, she had replied with one of her signature rants. "I don't mean care-care, like care. I mean if you like me at all. . . not like-like. I just meant that if. . . if you think of me remotely as the sort of person that you could occasionally stand to talk to then you will try to get along with my mom, that's all." He had given her a crazy look before uttering his consent. He remembered the dance marathon and how she had constantly been sneaking glances at him throughout the day, only to see his eyes fixed on her. His heart broke as he remembered her tear-streaked face as she sat crying on the bridge after her break up with Dean. The giddy look she had when seeing him at the diner the next day. He watched her face light up whenever she had gotten her way with him, and how her lips had felt on his. He so deeply lost himself in her memories that many times his roommate would give up on getting his attention. He hoped that this visit would be the first step in creating new memories. Jess took a deep breath, turned around and said, "I'm sorry Rory. I've tried to change how I feel, and it hasn't worked."

"Jess, I don't even want to hear it. If you have anything else to say, tell me. But I don't want to hear about you wanting to get back together with me. How could you even think that I would? Why would I? So you could leave without saying anything, and I would be left here a sobbing mess like before? It's not happening Jess. I don't want you back."


I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and
See the changes that I've made.

"Rory wait, just hear me out. I've changed. I'm not a jerk anymore. I stopped smoking. I haven't smoked in over two years. I went back to high school, and I graduated with one of the highest grades in my class. I've had a steady job for almost three years. I repaid Luke for all that I owed him. I paid all of my rent on time. Rory, I know that I was irresponsible, and you couldn't depend on me. But if there is one thing I can promise you, it's that you can now!" Jess was screaming now, his words filled with raw emotion that Rory hadn't heard in years. His voice was hoarse and he suddenly felt tired. But he knew he wasn't even close to finished yet.


I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all
And throw them in my face?

"I know what you're thinking. I know I've been a jerk in the past. I know I didn't appreciate you. I know I left without saying goodbye. I know I should have talked to you. I should have worked harder at school. I should have been able to graduate. You're right. I would have aced all my classes, if only I had wanted to. I should have been able to take you to prom. I should have been there when you graduated. I should have been there when you were wearing that black robe and walking across the stage with your diploma in your hand. I should have been there when you made your valedictorian speech. I should have cherished you and every moment we spent together. And Rory, I swear there isn't one mistake that I made that I wouldn't take back. If I had the chance to go back and fix every single error I made, and change my past, I would."


But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say
To keep me right here waiting
If you chose to walk away
I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say
To keep you right here waiting

"These three years have been hell for me Rory. I couldn't even go to my senior prom because I didn't have a date. Not because no one asked me. I had dozens of requests, but I couldn't bear to go to the prom knowing I should have already gone with you. I had my college roommates setting me up blind date after blind date, but I knew it was pointless. I knew I could never connect with anyone the way I connected with you. You were the only person in my entire life who ever understood me. Even Luke couldn't do that. He took me in, and realized that I wasn't the punk that the crazy town made me out to be, but he never really understood me. Not like you did, Rory. And I realize now, that," Jess paused, "that I don't think anyone else ever will."


I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending,
It's as much as I can take.

Jess could almost see the wheels in her head rotating, squeezing out reasons she shouldn't be with him. He knew that the list he had given earlier was playing over and over in her head, and she was constantly adding miniscule details to degrade him, make him look smaller than he was. After all, she had graduated and was the valedictorian of her class and went on to Yale, for heaven's sake! Jess, on the other hand, skipped school, and couldn't even graduate when he should have. What made him think that she would take him back? But she needed to. He couldn't bear to be without her.

And you're so independent
You just refuse to bend
So I keep bending till I break

Though she was touched by these words, Rory's pride didn't let her show it. She was not yet ready to let him back into her life. She had grown up learning she could do whatever she wanted, and to be sure of herself. She was sure that Jess wasn't good enough for help. But he's making the effort. A voice in the back of her head was whispering. He's trying to make things right. He went back to high school for you. He wrote a BOOK for you! And you're not doing anything. You and your stupid pride, Rory! She was getting terribly frustrated. Her heart and the little voice in her head were begging her to forgive Jess, but the rational side of her, was holding out, not wanting to give in to the pleas of her heart.


I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Jess realized she still needed urging. "I'm here to stay this time Rory. I won't leave, I promise. I'm ready to do anything to prove to you that it's for real this time. I told you earlier, no one understands me like you. I need someone who understands me. That's you. You're the one for me Rory Gilmore." He could see her breaking. He watched as she shed her outer shell and was getting ready to let him in.


Why can't you just forgive me?
I don't want to relive all the mistakes
I've made along the way

"I don't want to go through another three years without you, Rory."

And he saw her crumble.

She rushed forward and enveloped him into a fierce hug, knocking the wind out of him. Jess returned the hug, holding tightly, as if she would disappear otherwise. They stood there clutching each other for God knows how long. She inhaled deeply and took in the scent of his cologne. She missed it. She missed him. Oh, only she knows how she missed him. No, that's not true. Jess knows how much she missed him, because he missed her just as much if not more. Standing here, with Rory in his arms, he realized he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. This was where he wanted to be. For the rest of his life.


But I always find a way
To keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say
To keep you right here waiting

Rory regrettably pulled away and started to rant. "I'm sorry. I should have gone after you. I shouldn't have left you alone. I should have looked for you. I know I was being stupid. I was hurting and I didn't think about how you were feeling at all. I just thought about me. I was so selfish Jess, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I was waiting for you. I couldn't date either. I kept hoping that you would come back. And today I just wanted to know if it was real. I really missed you Jess. So much it hurt." Rory babbled, now with tears streaming down her face. Jess softly pulled her back into his embrace, muffling her words. She sought comfort in his arms, mumbling nonsense into his shirt. Jess brought his arm to the center of her back, rubbing small circles with his thumb, trying to calm down the sobbing mess he held.

Minutes passed, and her sobs drifted into silence. For the second time that night, Rory and Jess pulled away. Jess felt nervous. He felt like he was a teen again, and they were about to have their first kiss. Rory's eyes were darting around the room, looking at everything but Jess. His eyes were only on her. Slowly, Jess took her hands in his. He glanced up at Rory's face, and was glad to see a face etched with nervousness as well. Tilting his head, he moved closer, and brushed her lips with his tentatively. As he pulled back, he felt her response and he crushed his lips against hers again. He brought his hands to the bottom of her back, pulling her as close as physically possible, yet he felt the need to be closer. Her hands traveled upwards and rested at the nape of his neck, playing with the tiny curls there. His lips were feeling like heaven to Rory and she felt the need to grow closer overbearing. Her tongue ran against his bottom lips twice, pleading for entrance, and he gladly let her in. Minutes passed and Jess pulled away. They were both out of breath, but happy nonetheless.

"I'm glad you're here, Jess. I'm glad you came back."

"Me too, Rory. Me too."


And you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say
To keep me right here waiting
If you chose to walk away
I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say
To keep you right here waiting


End Author's Notes:

My first Literati fic. Please review and tell me how it was or any ways I can improve. I have a small One Tree Hill reference in there. See if you can find it!)

Hint: It's something Lucas said.

♥
Srijoni Rhea