WARNING: this chapter has discussions of suicide in it. If you feel uncomfortable with that you can skip the first two parts. It's not so important that you won't understand the rest of the story, but I feel it's important to show how Elizabeth felt at that point and how she and her relationship with Five progresses from that.

Then

With a grunt Elizabeth fell into the snow, face first. Snowflakes danced around her and she knew she should feel the cold seeping into her from the snow. But she didn't feel any different. Because there already was nothing but coldness inside her.

She knew she should get up; follow Five, who was walking a few meters before her. Pulling the cart with that damn mannequin in it. "Delores" he called it. They had found it a couple of weeks after they had stranded in the apocalypse, while scouring the remnants of a department store. Since then he was taking it everywhere, talking to it as if it was alive.

She sighed tiredly, watching her breath cloud in the cold air before her face. She couldn't really fault him for it. For almost a year already she had barely talked to Five.

That first day had been one single nightmare. The city in ruins. Corpses everywhere. Seemingly no chance of escape and returning to the time they belonged in. She had lost it. She had screamed at Five, insulted and shoved him. He had barely reacted, only hanging his head like a kicked dog. Ashamed and devastated. But, for the first time in her life, a sight like him didn't spark pity or sympathy in her. The only thing she could feel for the boy before her was loathing. Deep and fierce.

She hated that he had forced her to come here. She hated that they couldn't leave because of him. She hated that he didn't seem to have any struggle surviving while she struggled with every step. She hated that when she had refused to talk to him for weeks on end he had just replaced her with that stupid mannequin, speaking to it when she wouldn't. She hated that he made her hope every morning that today he would finally be able to open a portal back to their time; only to crush it again by not being able to. But most of all she hated him for not allowing her to just give up.

For almost a year they were here now and it was hell. Food was scarce and she had lost at least 10 kilograms by now. She was scruffy and stinky and her hair was one single, matted mess. She missed her family terribly, but every single day she was reminded of what had, most likely, become of them. Everywhere they went was nothing but ruins and half-rotten corpses. They even followed her into her dreams. But what scared her the most was that for weeks now her rage had just vanished. And it was replaced by an ice cold indifference.

"Elizabeth... Elizabeth!"

She jerked when someone shook her shoulder. Funny. She hadn't even noticed that she had drifted off. "Elizabeth" Five said again, now more stern. "Get up. You can't fall asleep here. You'll die." She just looked at the boy crouching before her. He was just as filthy and skinny as her. Though his hair was longer now and he had grown a bit. And his eyes still held that sparkle in it that hers had long since lost. She closed her eyes again.

"Just go away..." she mumbled almost too softly to hear. "I'm tired, Five. So, so tired." She just couldn't keep going anymore and wanted to drift off and never wake up again. But she was rudely interrupted by being shoved on her back. Then she felt arms under her back and knees and she was lifted up. Her eyes shot open and were met by strong baby blues. "You're not going to die." He declared. "Not as long as I still live." Then he carried her with a strength that was almost surprising in his emaciated state.

She didn't know were he was planning to bring her. But she knew that the overwhelming urge to sleep she was suddenly feeling was wrong and a warning that she didn't have long anymore if they didn't find shelter soon. Her eyes drifted shut again and her head dropped against Fives chest. Would she ever wake up again? She didn't care.

.

.

When she woke up again it was dark outside and she felt warm. A good kind of warm. She heard the crackling of a fire and felt the warmth of it on her back. Opening her eyes she saw Fives sleeping face only a few inches from her own. She looked around and noticed that they were in a house that was somehow still standing, though it also looked pretty run-down.

The room they were in even had a little fireplace, hence the fire and why it was so warm. Between her and the fire Five had placed a can of beans, still unopened, with a spoon on top. But she wasn't hungry. Though there was something else calling for her attention. She had to pee.

She untangled herself from all the blankets Five had covered her with, trying to be silent as to not wake him up. When she was free she looked at him, making sure that he was still asleep. That's when she saw it laying next to him. A gun.

A few months ago they had discovered the remnants of a gun shop and Five had taken what he could. Apparently, he even knew how to handle them. He had explained that, although it seemed that they were the only humans left, they couldn't be sure and meeting other survivors could be dangerous. So he wanted to be armed, just in case. He had a rifle, too, but the handgun was easier to handle. He had once even showed her how to use it, in case that it was ever necessary.

She took it.

Elizabeth went outside, into the cold. She emptied herself behind some bushes and then she stood before the house, just looking into the sky. She had to admit that since there were no artificial lights anymore the night sky was usually spectacular. But she didn't feel anything. Only the heavy weight of the gun still in her hand. And she asked herself if today she would finally have the courage to do it.

It was not the first time she had thought about suicide. In fact, she had contemplated it at least a dozen times already. And it was so easy, honestly, if you only had the guts to do it. Slice your wrists open. Jump from a building or bridge. Lay down in the cold and just fall asleep. Her hand twitched.

Take a gun and put it to your head.

She thought about her family. Her parents would have been devastated if they knew she was contemplating taking her own life. Her dad especially, who was ever the optimist and only ever saw the light even in the darkest of times. Her brother... her cute little brother, who had only been 5 years old when she had vanished. He wouldn't have understood why she had chosen to end it voluntarily. But what did she care? Even if they had lived on for 17 years without her, they were more than likely dead now, too. And she longed to be with them.

She raised the gun. Put the barrel on her temple. Adjusted her finger on the trigger. She knew she should feel fear or sadness or just something. But there was nothing in her. Just cold emptiness. She breathed in deep and tightened her hold on the gun. Then -

A hand took hold of her wrist of the hand that was holding the gun. "Don't," Five whispered behind her. "Please, Elizabeth. Don't." The finger on the trigger froze. "Why?" She asked, her voice monotone. "You don't need me. I'm nothing but a burden to you." It was true. Nothing she could do was contributing to their situation. Five was doing everything for them, while she usually sat around and did nothing. "Without me it's easier for you to survive. I can't do anything that you can." Fives grip on her wrist became stronger. "I don't care if you're a burden." He said with a strong voice. "You're only here because of me. It's only fair to you to be my burden."

Elizabeth sighed. "But I don't want to be nothing but a burden." Five tried to pull her hand away, but she wouldn't butch. "Then I will teach you everything I know." He responded. "But - god, please put away the gun!" She turned around and Five let go of her hand. But still she was holding the gun to her head. "You don't need me." She simply repeated. "You have Delores. What difference does it make to you if I'm here or not?"

He sighed deeply and run a hand through his hair, until it got stuck in a knot. "Is this what it is about?" He then asked. "Delores? I know that I talk to her as if she is real, but I'm well aware that she is not." He looked at Elizabeth. "I just... wanted someone to talk to... someone who would actually answer to me, even if it's just in my imagination."

Now she did feel an emotion rise up in her. Anger. "So this is my fault?" She hissed. Five startled. "No! No, of course not!" He blurted. But what more to say he didn't know. What could he say to prevent her from killing herself? To leave him alone in this hell? Everything was his fault, without question. And trying to escape from this nightmare was her right, even if in a way like this. But still... he would be alone then. And she would be dead.

He fell to his knees before her. "Elizabeth..." he croaked. He could feel tears form in his eyes, but for once he didn't feel embarrassed by that. "Please, Elizabeth. Don't leave me alone." He shamelessly begged. "I'm a selfish and conceited asshole and everything is my fault. And it's okay if you hate me and even don't speak to me for the rest of our lives. Just... please don't leave me... alone." He looked up at her, his eyes shining with tears, his cheeks and nose red. "I won't survive you not being here with me. You're the only thing that keeps me going... keeps my hopes up. Without you I may as well give up."

Looking at him kneeling before her, begging and crying, Elizabeth realized something. In all of their time here, until now, she only ever had seen Five Hargreeves as the public figure he was portrayed as in the media. The competent and confident hero with superpowers that fought against criminals in his spare time. That could do anything and even survived easily in the apocalypse. That never lost hope, despite all the odds against them.

But he was also a boy the same age as her. A boy who mourned the death of his family and what had become of the world. Who deeply regretted his actions and was doing everything in his powers to correct it. Who was scared to death of being left alone.

He was a terrified child, just like her. And for the first time she could feel something else than loathing or rage for him. Sympathy.

Slowly, Elizabeth let her hand holding the gun to her head sink. She looked at it. Then, hesitantly, she held it out to him. "You really need me?" She whispered meekly and Five scrambled to his feet, quickly taking hold of the gun and shoving it into the waistband of his pants behind his back. Then he furiously nodded his head. "Y-yes! Absolutely."

She dropped her gaze. "But... I can't do anything to help us. I'm a burden." She repeated what she had said before. Five grabbed her shoulders, staring determinedly into her eyes. "Then I will teach you." He promised. "Fighting, surviving, knowledge... I'll teach you everything I know." He rubbed her shoulders up and down. She was so cold. "Soon you will be just as good as me - no, better than me, because you will have an amazing teacher... me."

There he was again, the arrogant prick. For months he had been hiding, having been deeply unsettled by what he had accidentally done. But it seemed like he was slowly recovering again. And somehow that made her want to laugh.

Elizabeth began to shake. Five looked at her, unsure of what was happening now. She laughed suddenly. Loudly. But even as she laughed tears began to stream down her face in huge drops. Then her face morphed into a grimace and now she wasn't shaking from laughing, but from sobbing. Deep sobs, that seemed to come directly from her soul. The blonde buried her face in her hands and cried heartbreakingly.

And while this behavior terrified him, Five understood that she now definitely had reached her limit and that she needed to break down and let it all out. Because if she continued to keep it all in a situation like shortly before, her trying to harm herself, could occur again and soon. So he let her cry and slowly, hesitantly, put his arms around her. Ready to back up immediately if she protested in any way. But she just threw herself into his chest.

The boy held here, trying to hold her together as she fell apart. He whispered soothingly into her ear, assuring that he would never give up to bring her back and that they would find a way sooner or later. Declaring, again, how sorry he was in between. But even as they stood like this in the cold of a starry winter sky, there were some thoughts sneaking into his head that did not belong there, not anymore.

Like how cute she was while crying and how well she fit into his arms. How good she still looked, even though she was dirty and, honestly, smelled a bit. And he couldn't do anything about it but quietly hate himself and vow to, somehow, bury this feelings. Forever.

Because Five Hargreeves did not deserve Elizabeth Roberts. Never had and never would.

—

Now

After that unsuccessful stunt with Klaus, Five had said that he was in desperate need of a break. Elizabeth had asked if they could maybe go and rest for a bit or at least finally get her fitting clothes; and while Five promised they would go get her something today, he put it off until later.

For the rest of the day they basically just strolled around, holding hands and enjoying each other's company and the still standing city. When they got hungry Five got them some take-out (probably stolen from a restaurant) and they ate it while lounging on a bench in the park. It felt like a date and even though it maybe seemed odd to have one in the middle of their mission to save the world from an impending apocalypse, they had both needed it. God knew they had had too few of these moments in their life, were they could just be a normal, lovey-dovey couple.

As soon as it got dark though they got up and made their way to the Gimbel Brothers department store. They arrived a little after closing time, what suited them just fine. Five blinked them in and the blonde eagerly steered to the section advertising women's clothing. The boy joined her shortly after with a flashlight, smiling at how excited his wife was about getting new clothes. "Finally!" She sighed happily as they reached the first clothes rack and began to shuffle through pants and skirts.

He asked "so, what do you need?" just as she pulled out a jeans. It wasn't her size and she put it back again. "Hm... at least one jeans and leggings, a skirt, maybe, a couple tops, tights and socks and some underwear." Five grinned. "Underwear? Well, I like the sound of that." She gave him an amused look and put a jeans on her arm. "You know that I mean underwear, not lingerie?" He just continued to grin.

They moved to the next rack, that just so happened to hold sets of panties and bras. Of course. The boy chuckled and pulled out one that seemed to be made of light blue-colored silk and lace. Elizabeth looked up from the set made of simple, white cotton she was holding in her own hands and scoffed. "Really? You know that stuff like that only looks good but is otherwise really uncomfortable to wear? Especially the cheap ones."

Five sniggered, looking at her with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Who said you would wear it for long? Just long enough that I can admire you in it... and then rip it off." Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Rip it off you say?" Well, this prospect was very tempting. Sacrificing cheap stuff like this for a bit of passionate fun didn't seem that bad as well. And she had promised to make it up to him for having accidentally hurt his precious, little ego...

She reluctantly took the set from his hands and Five broke into a huge grin. "I take ONE set and that's it." She compromised and he leaned down, kissing her and squeezing her butt. "I can't wait." He growled huskily and she playfully hit his shoulder. "Be patient." She teased.

They went around like this, Elizabeth taking clothes here and there, handing most of it to her husband to carry. They only stopped when they finally discovered their old friend. Elizabeth gasped. "Delores!" She excitedly grabbed his arm. "Look, Five; it's really her!" He patted her hand. "I see her, Liz."

Together they walked up to her. Five sighed. "Delores. It's good to see you." They looked at her, taking her in. "She looks good with all of her limbs and hair, huh." The blonde stated and the boy hummed in agreement. Elizabeth averted her eyes. Thinking back, she had sometimes been really ugly to the mannequin; especially in the beginning. She had only really come around a couple years later, when she had a honest heart-to-heart with her. "I'm sorry." She mumbled and Five looked at her. "What are you apologizing for?" He asked confused.

She sighed. "I-I didn't always make it easy for her... or more like, the both of you. I often was a real bitch and I know it. And I want to apologize... because I think I never really did this." He sighed "oh, Liz." and looked away from her, staring before him.

He was unsure how he should answer to that, because he really thought that she didn't need to apologize. She had had every right to behave like this in his eyes and he would have even understood it if she was constantly like this, even now. But still she had almost always been nothing but hard working and supportive - well, except for the few times she had gone off on him and/or Delores. So her occasional bad mood had been bearable. He looked up at the mannequin, sure that she understood her, too.

That's when he saw them.

Two people in masks with weapons in their hands. And one of them was pointing directly at Elizabeth, who was still oblivious. "NO!" He shouted, throwing himself against her, pushing her down to the floor and covering her body with his own as bullets pierced the air above them and shards of plastic were flying around. The blonde gasped in shock and pain, momentarily confused. When the shooting ceased for a moment Five got up and shoved her backwards, between the clothing racks. They somehow still even had most of the clothes she had so joyfully chosen just a couple minutes before.

Five peeked out of their hiding spot. "Oh, shit. It's them!" He whispered. "WHAT?! How did they find us?!" Elizabeth quietly shrieked. He just shrugged and the girl gasped when she spotted their former companion lying on the floor. Delores was now how they remembered her: her legs and hair were gone and she only had one arm. The blonde made a move to get her, but Five held her back. "Leave her. This was supposed to happen somehow anyway and they will not hurt her..." his eyes momentarily flitted to Delores, his gaze sympathetic. "...any more."

He looked around them, trying to find a way out of this situation. "I'm going out." He then declared. "I will distract them a bit and find something to transport your clothes. You try to get out of here if you can. Leave me, if you have to." Elizabeth looked at him in shocked disbelief. "No way in hell! Let's leave the damn clothes and get out of here; together." She grasped his arm in desperation. "They're not just anyone, it's Hazel and Cha Cha! They'll kill you without mercy!" Five gently plucked her hand from his arm. "I'll be right back for you." He simply promised and gave her a quick, hard kiss. Then he ran out from between the racks.

Elizabeths heart thumped wildly in her chest as she heard more bullets hissing through the air and hitting random things, but she didn't hear Five gasping or a body hitting the floor, so she tried to calm herself. She had to be cool and collected to get out of here... preferably unscathed and with her husband in tow. If only they still had their guns. But they had been left behind in that parking lot in 1963. She didn't even have a knife or a slingshot. What could she do?

But just worrying didn't help anyone. She had to do something. She remained crouched and slipped through a few of the clothing racks. A few moments later she had located Hazel, who she could clearly identify thanks to his burly body. Why they had chosen to wear these ridiculous masks was beyond her. They had once been forced to go on a mission together so it was not like they were unknown to her and Five and it was no problem at all to recognize them.

She stood behind Hazel who looked around but didn't see her. When he suddenly took aim at something she knew that it could only be at her husband. So the blonde leaped out of her hiding place, shoving the burly man with all her might and making him miss his shots. Immediately she sprang back into the shadows and ran away as quickly as she could while crouched down. A couple bullets were hitting stuff behind her.

Five suddenly appeared beside her, a bag in one hand and grabbing her arm with the other. He pulled her back to the spot they had left behind the clothes, quickly shoving them into the bag. In a moment neither Hazel nor Cha Cha seemed to be looking at them they then ran in the direction of the exit.

They heard shots again and Five tried to blink them; no matter where, just away. But - it didn't work. They looked up in panic, watching the two killers reloading their guns and slowly coming nearer. "Five!" Elizabeth exclaimed worriedly and he tried again; but still, it didn't work.

"Shit! Come one!" He pleaded. Gunfire echoed again and now it was Elizabeth running ahead, pulling the boy after her. If they stayed any longer they would die, getting shot on the spot.

She let go of his hand to gracefully jump over a shelf. Five threw the bag over to her and then climbed over the shelf as well. But just as he had reached the other side Hazel and Cha Cha had caught up with them. Standing behind the shelf they both aimed their guns at them. "Got them!" Cha Cha announced and the couple stared at them like deer in the headlight.

Elizabeth gulped. Her heart was beating wildly and she felt sweaty. Had they really finally been able to jump back in time, only to die in this damn department store; having done nothing to prevent the apocalypse?

Sirens suddenly could be heard from outside, which momentarily distracted the masked killers. And in this one moment Elizabeth shoved Five behind a shelf, immediately following suit. They could see the light of the flashlight Cha Cha was holding, searching for them. Elizabeth felt a drop of sweat rolling down her cheek.

"The bastard jumped again." She heard Hazel say and it felt like a heavy weight was falling off her chest. They had fallen for this simple ruse. "Come on, let's go." Cha Cha sight and away they went. The couple waited for a few moments, fearful the killers would return. But they didn't. Elizabeth looked at Five, who was staring at her, exhaustion and relief clearly on his face. Then they fell into each other's arms in a strong embrace.

They had survived the assassination attempt and would still be able to prevent the approaching annihilation of humanity. But more importantly: they still had each other.

AN: Sorry again if I made someone feel uncomfortable with the content of this chapter. Know that I didn't take it lightly. I had a serious depression myself when I was a teen and at one point was at risk of attempting suicide. I had a lot of issues in that time, one being that I had been heavily bullied in school and had virtually no friends.

I know how it is to feel like you are trapped in a very dark place with seemingly no exit. And that's what I wanted to show here with Elizabeth. They had lost everything not long before and while (I think at least) Five had adapted very quickly thanks through the training Reginald Hargreeves had put him through, Elizabeth had been a normal girl with no real survival skills who felt more than overwhelmed by this situation. Add to that an apocalypse and mourning the deaths of everyone she had ever loved and you get a heavy depression. And I feel that this is an important part of her character growth.

If you ever feel like that please don't be ashamed to ask for help. At some point I finally came clean to my mom, who had honestly already expected something was wrong with me; and thanks to her I was able to go to therapy. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. But even just talking about it helps already so I hope everyone of you has someone they confide in, be it friends or family. Thanks for listening to me.

eriszun:

I'm always amazed how quickly you read a new chapter and even immediately leave a comment. You are amazing! And I hope you are not disappointed that I didn't write about what you were probably expecting. Though I don't say you are wrong with your suspicion *hint hint*

lunatic4eva:

Thank you, I'm proud about that myself! I felt like I was ending the chapters in always the same way, so I wanted to try something different. I'm glad it was received well. I hope you continue to enjoy my story!

PizzaLiteratureMore:

Thank you so much and I hope I will be able to let you keep enjoying my story!