(A/N) Arigatou gozaimasu to all who read this story. Domo arigatou for the reviews as well, they have really pushed me to keep writing. Sorry for taking a while...Enjoy.
Anam Cara - Amor Meus
Chapter 4
The Scars That Run Deep
In the quiet night...there was peace between two figures, both lost in the depths of their minds. A sparkling sapphire fluorescence encased the sandy shore and its hues reflected off the surface of the restless seas. The sleeping sky lighted up more than the already innumerous amount of glowing dots that marked the vast night of the heavens. The breeze picked up faster winds laced with a cool rush of moisture. Apathetic about what it touches, the scintillating winds grazed anything and everything.
After dark, the ever increasing algid winds caused a slight shiver to rupture from a pink-haired princess. On instinct, the brown-haired Coordinator decided to call it a night and return to the warmths of his shelter. They walked to within the grounds of the complex, but were greeted by a certain blonde and brunette, both of which were very surprised at seeing the pink-haired girl.
A rare amused smile formed on the brown haired boy's face as he casually strolled up to the surprised pair.
"So, I take it you two are getting along, eh Mwu-san and Murrue-san?"
Mwu's POV
"Ah, kid." I say proudly, I can't help but smirk at the slight blush covering Murrue.
"Kira-kun...uh, iie...it's not what it looks like." she says trying to cover it up. I sigh, I know she likes me, but she always tries to cover it up all the time. I can't compete with that dead boyfriend of hers, but she needs to get over the past... Because I love her eh? Though I would like to tell her, I'm fine with just being with her, and in time she will be ready.
"So kid..." I say with a smirk, successful at turning the tides. My obvious gaze falling on the girl that saved Kira the other day. I am quite surprised seeing him with a another person, no less a woman who he's holding hands with. I know her from somewhere...I just can't put my finger on it. My gesture brings a light blush to spread across his face--whoa never seen that happened before.
"Ano, this is Lacus Clyne." He says shyly while the she offers a hand in friendship. Murrue and I gladly accept, happy at seeing Kira with a nice woman.
"Ah, that's who I thought you were! You're that famous Plant songstress!" Murrue says surprisingly, covering her mouth showing her shock.
The pink-haired princess just nods in apprehension.
Lacus Clyne, the famous songstress eh?
That's interesting...
Kira's POV
"So Murrue-san, what are you doing here this late with Mwu-san?" I ask causing another blush to stain Murrue-san's face. Mwu-san and I are amused at her response.
She stutters in trying to come up with a response to cover it up. I decide to let her off the hook for now.
"Well in any case, it's chilly out. Would you guys like to head in for a drink maybe?" I say.
"Iie, maybe some other time, I've got to go." Murrue says while Mwu-san's hand reaches out to stop her from going. His cobalt blue eyes pleading her to stay with him.
"Okay. We're going to head inside now. You should stay with Mwu-san, it's getting pretty dark out." I say to Murrue-san.
She's a little indecisive at first, until Mwu nods affirmatively and begins to lead her into his apartment. I know what's holding her back from being with Mwu-san. I walk up to put a hand on Murrue-san's shoulder, this is a good a time as any to intervene a little.
"Murrue-san..." I start questioningly.
"Hai, Kira-kun?"
"Mwu-san's not my bodyguard."
Murrue-san is surprised at what I said, while Mwu-san smiles in comprehension.
"W-what?" she asks hesitantly.
"Mwu was never really my bodyguard, he has just always been my friend."
With that said, I head to my apartment, leaving a baffled brunette and a grinning blonde.
Normal POV
The rest of the night went fairly uneventful for the couple, a comfortable silence adrift in the air. Neither one wanting to break a seemingly unmeaningful silence, though in reality to them, it was a silence that spoke volumes. For one is not limited in communication through only the voice or the body alone.
The pair ate a late night snack, watched some television, and even popped in 21st century chick flick about two young lovers and some notebook and what not. The brunette was very much interested, but didn't want to show it. Certain aspects of the movie was just tearing him apart such as the girl having to marry another guy, though she loved another...Often times he would unwillingly draw parallels between himself and the movie, especially the many times he had chanced a glance at the beautiful pink haired girl sitting beside him on his comfy couch.
He would wage internal wars with his newly found twin conscience as he attempted to shake off the thoughts.
'The one big difference is that she doesn't love me...' he often said to himself.
-'Baka. You don't know that...'
'You're a baka. She's getting married stuuupid.'
-'If I'm a baka, then you're a baka. Baka. One can still love another stuuuuupid.'
'Well...Well, that's because it's a movie stuuuuuuuupid.'
And so on and so on.
Despite an internal warfare, the Hi-Def 50 inch plasma TV with surround sound managed to draw him in the movie a little more. Boys will be boys. He had also wished that he opted for some scary or action flick instead in order to further close the distance between them, but being a good host he decided to let her pick the movie. He figured any movie would do because he would still get his chances to snatch a few looks. A male egotistical way of resisting feebly the fact that he could not deny her anything she would want.
A familiar ring resonated from the brunette's Golden Orb cellular phone, another gift from Cagalli. Glad to be diverted momentarily from the movie, the boy eagerly answered the phone who he knew to be Mwu.
"Moshi moshi Mwu-san." Kira said casually.
"Hey kid, I just wanted to say that--that what you said earlier today was a nice way of saying 'You're fired.'" Mwu scoffed comically feigning hurt, though he was really pleased.
"Do itashimashite." Kira responded nonchalantly while hanging up the phone, he was very used to Mwu's comical ways and knew that he knew that he was just playing because he knew that Mwu was just playing. Mwu was ecstatic at seeing Kira the way he was, he knew Kira was healing even if it was just bit by bit. Mwu wanted to tell Kira something very important to him, but he knew only when or if Kira fully healed and was deemed responsible enough would he ever receive this important piece of information.
Back Kira's apartment, the brunette resumed to be absorbed by the movie, but he was rather absorbed by the beauty sitting next to him. He would often take sneak peeks out of the corners of his eyes. Though soon after, Kira's glances always turned into staring and admiring the pink-haired goddess from afar. Her unique pink locks cascading down her sides while her hands were tightly clasped together. Tears were brimming her eyes as she was wholly captivated in the movie. Her adorable face was scrunched up a bit as the light from the TV brightened her baby blue eyes. Her voluptuous lips were parted ever so slightly while her elegance was multiplied by the simple white dress she adorned. Her long silky smooth legs showed off nicely with her manicured little toes and rouge nail polished fingers.
She sure was a sight to see that the boy often thought he was just imagining her being there with him. It was still unreal to him that when he realized she was there, and throughout the whole movie he basically paid more attention to her rather than the movie. For she was rather a constant reminder of something he wanted and needed so badly, yet could never have. One particular moment from the movie tore through his resolve...
"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."
Oh how he wished he was just that. A "common man with common thoughts"... He knew well that he was no common man, and in now way did he ever lead a common life. He had never truly loved someone with all his heart and soul... But it always seemed like if the answer was right in his face. He couldn't think those thoughts though, he knew he built walls around himself and even though she managed to seep right through them, he still had his secrets. She didn't even know who he really was for crying out loud.
All the while, that secondary conscience tried desperately to remind him that it would not really matter to her. However, he still didn't know whether or not to tell her about him and his secrets, he had wanted to, but he felt as if he could not do such a thing. For in doing so, he would have ultimately taking the ill-fated plunge that he knew he was barely preventing himself from doing. In the past, he never told nor ever wanted to tell anybody the deepest and darkest parts of his secret, not his close friends, not his best friend, and not even his sister.
However, in just a short amount of time, he felt compelled to tell her everything. He felt as if she would be able to fill that void in his life, though she already did to a certain extent. He wanted to relinquish his resistance from taking that jump so badly, the pain was almost palpable. Besides, there was something else important that was holding him back from completely doing so. The main reason he could not do so was the engagement ring on her left ring finger that reminded him ever so painfully. She was Athrun Zala's wife to be, she was Lacus Clyne.
Just the mere thought of it pricked his eyes to tears, tears that he could never shed. If he were to, he would surely concede to the desire within him and forfeit taking account their feelings for the other. 'I keep forgetting that she loves Athrun...' That was the thought to defeat his nagging double conscience. 'But why did she want to stay with me?' The last bit of hope from the defeated conscience always brought up softly. He shook away the thoughts though while is mind recently remembered an article he casually read about the pop star.
Today was February 3rd.
Two days before her birthday.
Something deep inside the brunette had badly wanted to give the girl a nice gift. His mind tried relentlessly to come up with a possible gift. It was an impossible task though, his mind kept reiterating one though in general: 'What do you give a woman who has everything?'
'She had beauty beyond natural existence.
She had more money than he could ever add more.
She had fame that he could never ascertain.
And she had a handsome, intelligent, and reliable husband to be.
What could a guy like Kira possibly give her that she could not get herself or already have?
Especially when he himself felt so empty and meaningless.
He was the one that needed her.
She did not need him.
Right?
She was the beautiful, innocent, and perfect girl.
He was the experiment, monster, and Ultimate Coordinator.
She was caring and loving.
He was careless and loveless.
She was the songstress that touched the lives of millions through her songs.
He was the...'
His mind trailed off because his fragile yet strong heart could not take the pain any longer. The tears he so valiantly held back seemed to be gaining the upper advantage. It was then that he noticed the movie had ended, and the distance between the pair had significantly decreased. Lacus was laying in Kira's lap, which he had was pleased yet startled by such proximity. She was so soft, so gentle, and smelled so good. It was as if she was instinctively compelled to coerce him, every time he was troubled she was always there, even before the recent events. In his mind, and in some way or form, he felt as if she was always there.
Kira then decided he should just come out with it and began to try to shed off the burden of his secrets saying, "Ano...Lacus-sama, watashi wa..." He trailed off realizing that the pink-haired princess was fast asleep with a satisfied smile playing about on her luscious lips. Kira let out a deep sigh, a bit frustrated at not being able to tell her yet relieved that he didn't. He knew he wasn't really ready to tell her, and it almost seemed like she went to sleep so that he didn't have to. That was not possible though, was it? Before he would be drowned by his thoughts, he decided to move the woman to his bed so she could have a better sleep.
Gingerly picking her up bridal style, he proceeded in getting her to the bedroom. She was no problem carrying around since she hardly weighed 50 kgs and besides the fact that it was the Ultimate Coordinator carrying her. When he carefully plopped her down on top of the mattress, she instinctively refused to be physically parted from her source of warmth. However, Kira could not think such a thought as he covered her with comforter that seemed to ease her. When he stepped back, he was caught in that familiar entrapment of gazing at the resting goddess in his bed.
'She's so beautiful...'
'I'm not goina be able to get some sleep like this, am I?'
Kira sighed in defeat and pulled up his computer chair.
'At least I can be comfortable...' he thought to himself comically. 'When did I have such a humor again?'
-'Since you met her...'
'...Not you again...'
-'At least I'm being honest here...'
'What are you trying to say?'
-'What you need to say...'
'She's getting married to my best friend.'
-'That's not it and you know full well it isn't.'
'Than what is it?'
-'You just want to be with her...'
'What do you want from me!'
-'What you want for yourself. To be by her side.'
'That's impossible...you know as well as I do...stop making it harder for us.'
That familiar internal warfare reared its ugly head again. This time around though, he was definitely losing as the salted moisture seemed to magically materialize once more. His promise to no longer cry was the only thing keeping the tears at bay. He kept his longing gaze concentrated on the pink-haired goddess.
'I can't tell her...'
Another startling event occurred, almost on instinct, the said woman shifted position and turned over facing away from Kira. He knew that was more than instinct, it was an obvious sign that reminded him that she was off limits as long as he kept that wall that only he could bring down. He was guilty. Guilty of having to hide his true self from her, and everyone else he cared about. It pained him more than anything to see her turn away from him, even if she was in her sleep and didn't mean to. Metaphorically, it was a harsh reality check of his unforgiving past.
Sorrowful tears finally broke out from his violet eyes, each stream silently cascading down his handsome face.
"Gomen nasai Lacus-sama..." He said softly, his mind settling on telling her while she was resting. It was the only thing he thought of that could subside the pain in his heart that he has always had to feel throughout the years. Bottling up every emotion inside of him, refusing to release his musings because he always thought it would be selfish to. To put it simply, he didn't want others to worry about him. That's who Kira Yamato was, though he never realized it, he was the most kindhearted person to ever take a breath of oxygen. He was very forgiving, never staying within a mind set of hatred for others for more than an hour. In fact, he was the one who he hated most of the time, regardless of what he has done. He never felt he had done anything positive, it was just the type of guy he was.
Through his guilt for keeping his secrets so long, he knew that this woman was the one who he thought deserved to know the most, yet deserved to not to be told the most. She would worry too much, that was a fact to him that he knew from the moment he saw those baby blue eyes of her. They were her most alluring physical feature, the innocence and strength from within the depths of her genial eyes. Telling her in the quiet night would be enough to ease his conscience.
Softly yet audibly, he began to take the plunge..."Lacus-sama...WA tashi wa, Ultimate Coordinator..."
Kira spent much of the night talking his heart out to the sleeping girl. He fell into a teary-eyed slumber at around 6 a.m. abruptly ending his last sentence that he wanted to say to the girl so much, yet could never find it in his heart to tell her awake or not. With exhaustion creeping into his bones, he finally succumbed to the need of sleep as he softly uttered his last and final incomplete thought, "Gomen nasai Lacus-sama...I wish I could tell you how much I... I..."
Caught up by exhaustion and extra dreariness from his first time in revealing everything to a living, but sleeping person, little did he notice that he was not the only one to be shedding tears that quiet night.
Figuring out that the brunette was finally asleep, Lacus turned around to check on the boy with tears brimming in her baby blue eyes. Carefully observing the boy, she knew he was in a horrible sleeping position that would probably give him a painful back cramp in the morning. His head was tilted down almost as if in dismay for his deed while his arms droopily fell towards the floor. His tousled brown hair remained tousled while his chest gave rhythmic heaved up and down signaling his breathing pattern.
Turning to more pressing issues, Lacus never felt so much sadness in her life. She had just heard him confess the deepest and darkest parts of his life. She had felt guilty at not being able to tell him that she was awake for the duration of his confession. She had felt guilty for not having been able to be there for him because deservedly needed somebody to help him. But the thing she felt guilty the most about was not being able to tell him how meaningful his life really was.
She now knew the answer to the biggest question she ever had. Why was the boy always so empty and sad? The answer was all too obvious. In his mind, he believed that he was unforgivable. She was practically more amazed that he had actually turned out as a void of nothingness. Anyone with a right sense of mind who went through things the way he had to would probably be insane or murderous. She knew why he didn't though, the kindness in his heart and soul prevented him from doing so. In that sense, he was the perfect being.
'So that's how the life of the Ultimate Coordinator actually went...' she wondered aloud in her mind. Being the prestigious daughter of Supreme Chairman Siegel Clyne, she had often haphazardly heard the legendary fables of the perfect being, the Ultimate Coordinator. When word had gotten out, she remembered the many outrages violent riots against Coordinators that spattered about on Earth. The masses were eased by consoling fables about how the ultimate being ceased to exist after being slain by naturals (typical Blue Cosmos propaganda) while others implied that all coordinators were ultimate beings (typical Zaft propaganda). Though 'peace' reigned throughout the human world, behind the scenes was another matter. The unsubdueable ignorance, desire and darkness inside the human heart was the real ruler of the world as people so often fall into the wishes of hatred, thus creating themselves the very reasons evil exists.
Yet, there was hope. The promise of a future, so distant yet familiar. Lacus made a quick note of a tingling feeling inside of her as she turned to aid the boy into a better sleep. Caressing his cheek softly, she was surprised at how remarkably strong his jaw features were yet soft like her hand. She pulled and led him onto the bed beside her as he gave no protest in switching to a better position. He was on his side facing Lacus, of whom took advantage of her better vantage point of seeing his features. Drying tears marked his face as his eyelashes still had a bit of residue staining them. His mouth was slightly parted while his hand moved under his cheek as a pillow to sleep on, similar to a child. Lacus giggled at his cute position, he was sleeping rather comfortably and only when he was sleeping did she get a chance to check out his worry less features for the first time ever.
Needless to say, she was caught in a similar entrapment of admiring the man. He was rather handsome with his cheekbones perfectly aligned and proportionate body structure. She memorized and visualized his mesmerizing amethyst eyes so deep and filled with a superfluous amount of emotions swirling violently around each and every passing moment. She would and could look into his violaceous eyes for days on end. Yearning to feel him again, Lacus hand acted on its own accord by lovingly massaging his temple, which surprisingly to her, on immediate touch a few traces of wrinkles disappeared.
A few minutes from her actions, the boy began to stir. As he soon became more wildly in his movement, she realized it was not because of her that was causing such
an incommodious feeling. He was having a nightmare. The brunette was mildly thrashing about while uttering coherent and incoherent words. He would often mutter, "Haha-ue" and "love" and "Lacus-sama." Frightened for his sake, Lacus snuggled close to Kira and embraced him tightly which immediately relieved the brunette. After a few moments, the brunette completely settled down while repeating his previous words. Lacus shook off his words though as she could not conclusively draw what he had completely said, nor did she have the right to assess something when the boy was just having a nightmare.
The close proximity was awkward yet very comfortable. Lacus had an even closer look at the boy she tenderly wrapped in a warm embrace and cooed him back to a peaceful sleep. 'He must have many of these nightmares...' she thought sadly. She noticed that there was a fresh new trail of tears cascading down his eyes. The complete remembrance of his heart aching words flashed through her mind again. She remembered every word of what he said...but some parts troubled her more than others...
Lacus Flashback of what Kira said...(Partly--not everything)
"Growing up, I was content and ignorant of my birth... I had my family and I loved them very much... But I had always wondered why father would take me away from everyone and train me..."
"I always thought he just wanted me to become stronger... It was not until later when I turned eight when I began to learn what I really am."
"I was very weak and childish. He was right... Haha-ue died because I could not protect her. She died because of me."
Kira's POV Flashback
"Give me my son back!"
'I hear Haha-ue yell out to Chichi-ue... I was behind the door that was slightly ajar, was she talking about me?'
"He's MY son! He is the Ultimate Coordinator, I no longer need you or that natural daughter of yours!" Chichi-ue answered just as loud.
'I asked myself what's an Ultimate Coordinator?'
"Iie! The Ultimate Coordinator? Will that bring him happiness? That boy is kindhearted and loves this family very much. He is no different from anyone else, he has not evolved into another specie, ultimate coordinator or not, he's still our baby!" Haha-ue cried out.
'I could see Haha-ue crying...was she crying because of me?'
"Foolish woman, mankind has always strived to surpass itself. Because there is happiness in being better!" Chichi-ue yelled back so loudly.
'I could no longer listen...I had no clue what he was talking about. After Chichi-ue slapped Haha-ue, I got really mad at him... Why would he slap mommy? Why would he hurt her when I hurt her? Why!'
"Chichi-ue! What's the meaning of this? Why are you hurting Haha-ue? Why?" I say though I was really scared, I was more confused...
'Why is this happening?'
"Hmph. Do not become tainted by that woman my son. Come here, now!" Chichi-ue commands me, but...
'But what woman? This is Haha-ue... Why would I leave her when she's crying?'
"Get away from her! Now! She's nothing but a woman! You are the Ultimate Coordinator! You are MY son!" Chichi-ue yelled.
'Iie... I love Haha-ue, she always takes care of me and makes me feel better when I cry. What's an Ultimate Coordinator?'
"After all I've done for you. You are coming with me."
'Iie! You've done nothing but hurt Haha-ue... I won't let you anymore!'
"Iie." 'I hear myself say, was that me who said that? It didn't sound like me... Was it that Ultimate Coordinator?'
"Nani? Kisama! Ungrateful chikusoume!" Chichi-ue yelled at me with his fist getting ready to hit me until...
BOOOM!
'Are they trying to kill us? Why is Haha-ue hugging me? Did I not make her cry? What's happening?'
'Where's she taking me?'
'Iie... Is this blood? So much blood... Am I dying?'
I gasp at what I see when I look down... 'This is not my blood...'
'Haha-ue! Is she dying? Iie! I should be dying... Iie!'
"Here my son, please do not become of ill-will. When the time comes, you will know who to give this to."
'Nani? What's this...? What is Haha-ue saying?'
"Always love those who your heart cares about. Always and forever."
'I love you Haha-ue! Don't leave me... Please, I won't cry anymore.'
My mouth wouldn't open as she touched my chest.
'Is she leaving me?'
"Please live happily..."
'Iie...Iie! Haha-ue!'
"I will...always...love you...Kira..."
End of Kira's POV Flashback
Lacus Flashback
"Ai shiteru."
"Haha-ue."
"Always and Forever."
"I cried...and cried...and cried. I think I cried for about 2 days straight until someone had found me. He said that some people were wanting to take me in and that I would have to leave Mendel Colony. He gave me time knowing that I would not take it too lightly having to move away, from the place of all my memories with my family... After wandering around whimpering and weeping, I remember someone else had found me. I don't know where I just got this recent memory from... I thought I had forgotten it... But all I remember is that she was my angel."
"I know that's not true, but I would like to think that..."
"I had moved away from her the day I think I saw her...If I ever did, I don't know...I still don't remember that well..."
"What I do remember is that I was also missing another part of me... I only found that part when I was 16, but I'm glad... That had just been about the only thing good that ever happened to me... When I was nine, I was separated from my adopted parents when we moved to Copernicus... They had gone somewhere to Heliopolis in search of my sibling so I told them I would be fine living alone. They knew I needed time alone..."
"Copernicus, that's where I met your husband to be..."
He trailed off even more softly. There was a long pause as he seemed to be thinking very deeply and keeping to himself for the most part. After a while, he started again in that same tone as before.
"He's a great guy...though I'm sure you know already... I was best of friends with him so I can assure you he will treat you kindly. He's kind, strong, and very reliable. He often helped me out, I remember there was a "Micro Units" project when we was studying and he basically did that for me. He was my tutor and I was really proud when he was top in class when we were 14 years old. He's probably drop dead handsome, he was chased by many girls in Copernicus, but he's very loyal so you wouldn't have to worry him being unfaithful to you."
Kira chuckled happily at that, though inside he was destroying himself, he was used to it. He wouldn't get in the way of the two no matter how much he wanted her. He would never tell her that. His secondary conscience told him to stop thinking such disheartening thoughts, but it could not stop him from doing so. There was just some things that could not be helped. He could only bare the pain by saying that it could not be helped, which he had been continuing for almost all his life. There was nothing that could heal those wounds deeply embedded inside of him, and the more he tried to get closer to this girl, the deeper the wound would go inside of him. He knew that, it was common sense.
"I spent a lot of time with Athrun, but I never told him because I didn't want him about me which I am guilty for not opening up. I just didn't want him to get caught up in my troubles that's all... His father was bad enough... Besides, I would have gotten him in trouble because I often stole food from school and other restaurants... I was never caught though. I was sad when he had to leave... His father called him back to Zaft. But he gave me Tori so I was happy."
Kira would leave out the sad fact that they had not kept in touch. Kira had attempted many a times to contact Athrun, but it seemed he was always busy, which dispirited Kira. He gave Athrun the benefit of the doubt though, saying that Athrun was busy running a corporation, even though Kira himself was running a corporation as well... He wouldn't say anything that would even have the chance of jeopardizing their marriage, even if she was sleeping.
Sometime during his passionate revelation, his mind decided that he would no longer try to be with the woman, no matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much he needed to. No matter even if he just wanted to be by her side... He had succumbed to the fact that it would only serve to slowly or quickly kill his already dying heart. He had just wanted to simply reveal his unforgivable past to her in an effort to ease himself, so he was already selfish in a sense...but he was not that selfish. Athrun and Lacus were a perfect pair.
He also left out the fact that the only reason Kira needed help from Athrun was because he was in a world of misery though he never showed it to him, nor did he told him that he knew a lot more than he showed. He was also careful to avoid revealing the fact that he was the 'infamous' Mr. Hibiki.
"When I had to leave Copernicus, I was about fifteen years old I think. When they were doing customs at the spaceport at the moon city, they had unknowingly reminded me off one of my most precious valuable that Haha-ue gave me... It was then I realized that I had not known what Haha-ue and Chichi-ue were arguing about."
"Ultimate Coordinator they said..."
"I was very hesitant, but I knew I just had to find out so I went back to Mendel Colony..."
"It turned out the house my family and I used to live in was abandoned and never touched. It was air locked and sealed away by someone and only a fingerprint and DNA scan from my family's bloodline could unseal it. When I walked in everything was ruined...all my fond memories vanished and were replaced by the reek of death in the place. There was faint evidence that told me the place had been scoured before... Regardless, I explored much of the devastation and..."
He started to waver in his speech as fresh tears pricked his eyes. With strong fortitude and determination, he continued to finish what he started...
"And I found out what the Ultimate Coordinator was... There was a research laboratory underneath our house... There was many... many dead bodies and unfinished zygotes... Chichi-ue had created me... My life was a whole lie... My life was just a scientific experiment... That's why... My life is meaningless..."
"I wanted to leave that place immediately, there was no tears in my eyes. I had nothing. I was a broken empty shell. Realization had struck me that what Chichi-ue had me do was for himself... I was nothing more than an achievement. I forgive him though... I am actually sorry that I had not turned out the way he wanted me to turn out. The Ultimate Coordinator project was not a success."
"I began to make my way until my legs led me to a familiarly peculiar room... I found out that it was that forlornly room that we were in that fateful day. I checked its surroundings and I saw a picture of Haha-ue holding two babies... I recalled several memories of Haha-ue, and I remembered that I had a copy of this picture in my room, but when I checked that place, there was no sign of it... I didn't know at first who the other baby she was carrying was, but I felt that whoever it was, was another part of me. I decided to take the picture as a keepsake, matter of fact, this picture right here is that picture."
Kira said half-jovially while picking up the picture and pointing at it though he thought the girl was asleep. He talked to a gravestone, a robotic bird, so why not a sleeping girl? He put the picture down carefully and took a second to admire her form again. Then he went back to business, seeing as how the girl was still turned around so he thought he wasn't out of the clearing yet.
"After pocketing the picture... My feet led me to the secret place where Haha-ue took me... What I found tore my heart in two. Though I am an empty shell, it still tore my heart in two. I saw Haha-ue lying on the ground... her blood was in the same places I had recalled and it seemed like she was left untouched... It took several minutes before I could approach her resting form... I was surprised at how perfectly preserved she was, despite turning paler than normal, she was still my beautiful Haha-ue..."
"I had decided to carry her, and I would take her to Orb, where I had originally intended to move to. Seeing as how it was close to Mendel Colony."
"I would have buried her some place nice, but all I had was this apartment. So I buried her here for now... Though she is dead, she will remain alive in my heart forever. Haha-ue told me something very important... Something I will never forget... Gomen nasai Lacus-sama... I wish I could tell you how much I... I..."
End of Flashback
'Tell me what Kira?' Lacus asked herself, she wanted so desperately to know what he wanted to tell her. Exhaustion from waking up from her slumber and listening patiently to the troubled boy was slowly but surely overcome the pink haired princess. She was still in a tight embrace with the boy, with there faces only several inches apart. Feeling a sense of warmth and protection emanating from the brunette, the pink-haired woman freely let sleep envelope her. Each person enjoyed the most peaceful sleep they had ever had in their lives. The brunette soon stirred awoke from his peaceful slumber and was both surprised and elated at his position with the pink-haired goddess.
After a few moments, it finally registered in Kira's mind that he was sleeping on the same bed as the pink-haired goddess. He began to panic at whatever actions he may have taken the night before, but upon seeing her clothes still on her, he sighed in relief. Then he remembered how he was confessing to her while she was asleep. He was deeply saddened by not being able to tell her when she was awake, but was also a bit relieved. He couldn't recall everything he had said, he just knew by the end he was crying. He figured he must have fell over from the chair that night, but he did note that he had the best sleep of his life the night before.
Kira tried feebly attempted to embed that feeling deep into his memory, but he knew that this blissful moment would not last. He also remembered his vow to keep his promise to prevent himself from trying to be with her. Sighing heavily, he reluctantly began to move away from the girl while taking precaution to not awaken her. It was a difficult task indeed, the task that was difficult was not trying to keep her asleep, it was for Kira to release her embrace. After about half an hour of caution and mainly reluctance, he managed to slip away from her entanglement. A few of her pink locks had fallen over her face to which Kira naturally (and used to it by now) gently brushed away.
He was caught in another one of those longing gazes as he was once again mesmerized by her beauty. No matter how many times he would see her, he knew that every time she would always be able to mesmerize him effortlessly. He shook his head violently this time, beckoning such thoughts away fruitlessly. After much struggle, he made a motion to get a hold of her husband to be as he desperately needed to get away from the woman. Kira remembered he left his phone on the couch so more than gladly he used it as an excuse to part ways from the pink-haired goddess. Before he left, he had to suppress a potent need to peck her on the cheek for such a peaceful slumber. Unable to fully subside the urge, he managed to divert enough of it to give her a chaste peck on her forehead as he scuffled out of the room for dear life.
He knew he could not last much longer under these circumstances. He was so powerfully attracted to her, mind, body, and soul, for if not having received such a rigorous life, he would have completely fallen head over heels...Not that he had not already... He sighed deeply again as he tried to change the subject by focusing on the task at hand. Kira made his way to the couch and as soon as his hand went out to fish the device, a familiar rhythmic tone resonated throughout the room. It came from the cell phone, a feeling from his heart betraying his need to answer the call.
Ignoring the ominous warning, he picked up the call and minutes after listening to a familiar yet unusually glum voice on the other line, the device abruptly fell from his shaking hands...
To be continued...
(A/N) Gomen nasai for the cliff...heh. And gomen if that was a little hard to read... Just imagine typing that flashback within a flashback... heh. lol. Plus the structure and order was kind of difficult...Hope you guys liked it though. Eh, I was wondering if I should I have shorter chapters? If anybody has any tips or suggestions, I would really appreciate it. Sorry for any spelling errors or mistakes... I don't usually check my work until a day or so later...hehe.
Ja ne